And this kids, is why you don't go to the Bermuda Triangle.

Wow, Luna is kind of a bitch here.

My suffering is immeasurable and my dream is ruined.

So there was no point in helping him, she just wanted access to his mind? Well so much for Luna being of any help. Plus there's the fact he didn't bring up at all how the rest of the guard he was supposedly going to fit in with are just as bad as their daytime counterparts, with some hypocrisy thrown in for good measure.

“My subject, I know only too well the pain of isolation. You must not be afraid to open yourself up to ponies.” My eyes looked away. “Please, promise me you will at least try.” I looked back at her, my fear and uncertainty clear in my eyes. I wanted to say no; but a voice reminded me of just how old Luna was. She was so, so much more experienced than me, and I wasn’t arrogant enough to pretend otherwise. Maybe, just maybe, what she was saying was worth listening to.

Gotta call bullshit on this, ponies so far have shown themselves to be generally terrible. The Night Guard treat him like a freak and outcast just like his previous job and nobody seems to care, nor does it look like he'll either demand better treatment or just do the smart thing and ditch them altogether. Without a dynamic change in his situation I don't see how the story can move forwards at all.

Good to get some of his backstory and it's good he's been told not to be a loner. I like the "wormhole" angle. That's info 'T.S.' should know. It might be beneficial to leave some kind of monitoring where the 'human' was found. It's a long shot and may not lead to a way back to earth but I'm sure they'd gain useful data. Thanks for the update! I'm glad you're still working on it. I look forward to the next one.

Also, I noticed you used "Of cause" instead of "Of course" a couple of times. The latter makes more sense in context.

9690597

Also, I noticed you used "Of cause" instead of "Of course" a couple of times. The latter makes more sense in context.

-Looks it up on Google, then looks at spelling in chapter-
Ah. Yes you are quite right. Not sure if that’s a simple spelling error or a genuine mistake. I’m inclined to think the former. I’ll fix that now. Thanks.
Damn. I was sure I had got all the errors.

9689486
Yeahup. That’s the one!

9689845
How so?

9697218
There was absolutely no point in drowning him without warning or time to prepare.

9697218
He's told to submit and accept his situation, when frankly it is shit and his previous life is portrayedqs better. Most ponies have been shown to not be qccomodating and friendly, but hostile and racist. He left one job working for royalty for another because they hated him fir not being a pony. The group he joined apparently also hate him for no reason when they in actuality should like him. He accepts they are different and doesn't hate them for being as they are, and despite being shown this they deliberately choose to hate him. The fact they want to screw him isn't an improvement, it just says he'll be sexually abused if he does. In short Luna pulled him from a nightmare about drowning to tell him to get close to people who have shown no redeeming qualities, and then she goes and drowns him herself. Nothing in the chapter does anything but harm him.

9707142

Regardless of how shit or great his previous life was, it is now irrelevant. He is stuck in equestria. This was the hand he was dealt and he has to deal with it. It is kind of a metaphor for any loss or grievance in that way. Sometimes shit happens and you have to move on. I have read many stories that portray the human as not missing earth or having a shit life before, I didn't want to do that. It seemed a bit boring to me and I wanted to create a bit of extra conflict by having him leave something behind.

The ponies who actually know him are generally very friendly with only a few exceptions like Obsidian. He is undoubtedly racist, he is written that way, but he represents the minority, not the majority. Anon has friends in both the day and night guard and the general populace, ponies who don’t know him, treat him with caution rather than malice, simply through instinct (he’s a predator after all) and ignorance. If he opened himself up more, more ponies would see who he is. The problem is that, that concept, opening up, terrifies him. He doesn’t want to be hurt again or risk getting rejected.

This story is about him coming to terms with his new life, finding his place and being proud of who he is as well as learning to open up again.

As for Luna’s actions in the dream, there was a reason behind this. All will be explained soon. I didn't want this chapter overstaying its welcome.

And just a quick fyi, he’s not a part of the night guard at this stage. He just attended a hunt. He hasn't moved anywhere.

9707417

The ponies who actually know him are generally very friendly with only a few exceptions like Obsidian. He is undoubtedly racist, he is written that way, but he represents the minority, not the majority. Anon has friends in both the day and night guard and the general populace, ponies who don’t know him, treat him with caution rather than malice, simply through instinct (he’s a predator after all) and ignorance. If he opened himself up more, more ponies would see who he is. The problem is that, that concept, opening up, terrifies him. He doesn’t want to be hurt again or risk getting rejected.

While good to be addressed, the fact that none of it seems present in the story itself is a problem given we've only really seen him "on the job" where most all the ponies seem to hate him, because it puts his situation in a much different light. And makes it seem that Luna doesn't much care about this even though he'll be transferred over to her guards.

9707536

The first chapter of this story had him off the job at the hunt with the bat ponies being perfectly civil

9707925
I saw it more as them being focused on wanting sex than actually deciding to be nice to him. Given the initial reaction to him saying he is an omnivore and doesn't look down on them for being different from other ponies is to hate him, it says the default state of the Night Guard is to hypocritically hate him. Sexual interest doesn't necessarily say they view him other than negatively. Though you could solve that in a single chapter, so as long as it isn't ignored its not a huge deal.

9689486
Heh. You might end up in Equestria. I dunno, some people might see that as a good thing.

I love this. All of the best parts of a good HiE are present, and the subtle RGRE is a great touch. Looking forward to seeing more from you.

Good start to an His did. Would love to to see this continued.

9920957
thanks man. Hoping to get the next chapter up soon

9986113
“an His did” ??

9989500
I ... think I meant HIE Fic? I dunno. Damn auto correct!

9989653
lol. ok yeah. Don’t know when the next chapter will be finished but I’m going through some things right now. Will post a blog about it later

Damn harsh way to go.
Guess Luna cant send a guard to slap him awake?

You know.... If I was in his boat and realized it was a dream instead of swimming for the surface I would have swam down. Use the pull to make it much easier on his body. That way I would NOT have bloody drowned! Loving this series keep up the great work!

10036631
By the time a guard could get there, his dream would be over anyway. And before you suggest teleporting she probably doesn't know where his room is at that time.

Ah, wonder then, was he about to propose? That sucks.

There are few terrors more scarring than drowning.

Yeah, when there's music to go along with it.