• Member Since 25th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Friday


Spanish, historian, sunday brony, all around smelly buttface.


Twilight Sparkle has never needed much to be happy: a book to enjoy, a research to carry out, and a Spike by her side. But after teaming up with and befriending five stallions to save the world in her first, fateful night in Ponyville, her life has been thrown upside down.

For she is now the Bearer of the Element of Magic, and ever since, trouble is knocking at her door seemingly every week: be it a monster attack, friendship drama, or the fact that Equestria seems to be sleepwalking from crisis to crisis, Twilight’s life will never be the same again.

The Word of God Imaginary VoicecastTM, if you so desire (by order of appearance):

» Spike: Pony.MOV's Spike.
» Phil Pie: Miles Luna.
» Applejack: Geoff Ramsey.
» Rainbow Blitz: Chris Pratt.
» Elusive: James Arnold Taylor.
» Butterscotch: Matt Bragg.
» The Night King: Sam Witwer.
» Prince Artemis: Tom Hiddleston.

Q: If it’s not a harem romance, then why are the mane six and Luna genderswapped?

A: Because while it started as a deconstructive, character-driven take on one, we’ve realised that this character arrangement grants us far more creative freedom than what we would have using their canon incarnations.  Having M!Applejack, Rainbow Blitz, Elusive, Butterscotch and Phil Pie allows us to, essentially, make their characters our own, take them to uncharted waters, and introduce new plotlines and situations that haven’t been done previously and that just wouldn’t have worked if applied to the girls we all know and love. It’s, in a way, what keeps this story fresh, even when retelling the series for the umpteenth time. It mixes up their dynamics with other ponies and with each other in new, unseen ways, and makes it all the more interesting to explore.

Adding to this is the fact that Twilight, at the beginning of the series, is something of a blank slate, whose character development is informed by the quirks and personalities of her friends. Therefore, she functions both as her own, recognisable character and as an audience surrogate, who’s getting to know these guys at the same pace as the audience itself.

Funnily enough, Luna’s genderswap was never intended to have any relation whatsoever to the harem trope; Artemis was never supposed to be a Love Interest. Instead, well, let’s just say it fills in a certain, unaddressed headscratcher in the original series.

Q: Will there be shipping?

Yes, there will be romance. However, not only it will be what most people like to call a 'slow burn', but it's most definitely not the main focus of the story. If you're looking for a ship fic, you'll be disappointed.

Q: Is [character] genderswapped too?


The only characters who are genderswapped are Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Luna. Everyone else is their canon gender. Trixie is female. Starlight Glimmer is female. Should she appear, Sunset Shimmer will be female.

Discord, on the other hand, is something of a grey area, as they're a literal God of Chaos. Therefore, just as they can do pretty much whatever they damn well please, they can also change genders at a whim. However, should Discord adopt a female gender, her name would still be Discord, rather than the fanon Eris, as the word 'Discord' is genderless.

Q: Why is male!Pinkie's name not the fanon Bubble Berry?

There's multiple reasons, all of which are stated point blank by the character himself during his introduction in chapter one. It's mostly for meta reasons, but there's some plot there, too.

Q: Will you do [episode]?

There is an overarching plot, and the selection of episodes that get adapted and the way they do heavily depends on how they contribute to set up or advance said plot, or how plausible they are given the differences between the canon characters and their genderswapped incarnations.

Therefore, many of your favourite episodes may end up happening in entirely different ways as they did in canon, be mixed up with another episode, be relegated to a mere mention, or maybe just not at all. It all depends on how they fit the bigger picture.

TUESDAY, APRIL 21 of 2020.
I may or may not have just broken my hand against my desk when I jumped in surprise when William Grey told me this story was on featured, literally MINUTES within uploading chapter 9.
I'm sorry, just...
Mind-blowing, man. I have no idea how the algorithms work, nor how long it will last, but we're very happy about it.
Seriously, we wish to thank wholeheartedly to anyone who has read it, who has liked it, who has commented. This is our first published story, among myriad we have written yet never had the courage to put them out there. It really means a lot to us that people are responding positively.
Plus, that means I can claim moral victory, because I absolutely spent my whole weekend writing this instead of preparing the ppt for my monograph's thesis proposal for tomorrow.
So, yeah.
Thank you <3

Beta Reader, Editor, (basically) co-writer and elder brother who keeps stealing my drinks: William A. Grey
Male Mane Six vectors by Trotsworth.
Twilight Sparkle vector.
Cutie Mark vectors by Adam L. Humphreys
Image done by myself and my non-existent paint skills.

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 166 )

Not much I can say beyond the fact that this looks like it could be REALLY good. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked Twi's reactions to everything thus far particularly around the "Sweet Apple Acres" scene, Rainbow Blitz clearing the skies in SEVEN seconds, Twilight and Spike's foreshadowing discussion on Shining Armor and Cadence (by the way, Twi, Spike is actually right on that one), Spike's reaction to Butterscotch getting his species RIGHT (and even explaining the reason for the confusion) .

Indeed, I WILL be looking forward to more of this, but will also respect that real world concerns need to come first.

Thank you so much for your kind words! As a matter of fact, most of the next chapter is already on the oven; I decided to cut it in two halves because I was already running very high on the word count, and a 20k first chapter is pushing it a bit too much.

So: post-chapter author notes.

First off, this chapter turned out way darker than what I originally intended, but I'm overall satisfied with the outcome. The next chapters should be more light-hearted, with a more comedic tone, but the darker drama will resurface eventually, big time. Hope you enjoyed the Dark Souls music.

Second: we (me + William A. Grey, editor) thought that the dating conventions in Equestria made no bloody sense, or at least, not in this story. Conventionally, it's considered that the calendar's year 0 is the year Nightmare Moon was banished. However, we learn in season 8 that Celestia has been raising the sun for 1.111 years. And Nightmare Moon/Nightterror King is, in-universe, an obscure and mostly forgotten piece of lore.

So, we decided to change that: the date is the year 1613 since the founding of the Kingdom of Equestria. Celestia's oneversary should therefore be around the year 1620. King Solaris, Celestia and Artemis's father, died in the year 509. Nightterror King's civil war (which lasted far more than 3 measly minutes, looking at you Nightmare Moon) ended in the year 613.

That's about it, yeah.

Hope you enjoy, and please do tell me your thoughts in the comments below, be marriage proposals or death threats.

REALLY good job on the second chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action, general chapter wrap-up and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked how Twilight's guilt concerning her pride over being right, combined with concern over Spike and all those innocent ponies, paved the way for her character development. AND I ALSO really liked how Phil found those added helpful books, Twilight's initial desire to go alone was out of an honest desire to not want anybody else getting hurt because of her, the careful balance between general faithfulness and added challenge concerning the "Elements trials", Nightterror King's attempts to turn Twilight against Celestia, how Nightterror King put up a MUCH better fight than Nightmare Moon did AND how Celestia admitted that she HAS definitely made mistakes in the past, but has honestly TRIED to learn from them. And, yeah, the little bits of foreshadowing concerning future adventures (i.e. the references to Gilda and the Crystal Empire, even if the latter was MOSTLY lies) was great too.

Anyway, very certainly going to be looking forward to more of this.

Thanks immensely for sharing this bit of added info. Really appreciated.

This is an excellent story and great new take on it! I love how crude, rude, and filled with attitude the stallions are in this, especially Blitz. Very much Rainbow's attitude packed with male testosterone. Before either of them learns how to be a really good friend. Looking forward to more chapters! Especially when the stallions start to get even more... interested... in Twilight. We know Elusive and Applejack clearly are taken with her, and Phil likes her already. Butterscotch clearly finds her attractive, while Blitz is being all Tsundere. Very fun!

Looking forward to seeing more of Artemis, too. Especially when his interactions with Twilight start up the burn that is possible in a good TwiLuna ship.


(...) really liked how Phil found those added helpful books (...)

The credit's all Our Lady and Saviour Lauren Faust, though! In canon, that was how Pinkie found the books in the first place. I just tried to give it some more flavour.


Thank you so much for your review! Though, sadly, I wouldn't hold my breath regarding Artemis. He's far too much involved in the upcoming plots for me to focus satisfactorily on him without spoiling some of the things I have in store. However, I will see what I can do.

all this seems pretty convenient for celestia, "oh yeah the corruption makes him believe whatever he thinks" the perfect way to throw off your fanatical student...

Hm... Well this is certainly interesting, though funnily enough what is off putting for me is the swearing, specifically Blitzes, it feels childish in the way they use it.

I'm no Berry apologist but curious as to why Phil Pie as their name, now I'm not hating it, It just feels odd having it when the others have the supposed R63 names.

Well, Blitz is meant to be a bit too liberal with his swearing and come across as childlish, though I will take that into consideration.

(...) curious to why Phil Pie as their name (...)

Explained during his insane wall-of-text rambling at the surprise party in chapter one.


Ah alright I'll got back to read it I saw the wall of text and my eyes glazed over just sort of skimmed it understanding only bits of it

plus the elements of harmony making him do a complete 180 in personality and beliefs... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


Assuming everything the corrupted Artemis claimed about Celestia is based on reality, I actually kind of like that Sunbutt didn't start out as a perfect ruler but made mistakes and had flaws aplenty at first. Gives her a bit more character, much more of a role-model than the goddess figure she is in a lot of stories.
I'm always a little unsure of retellings of the first episodes, as they can get very rote, even if you need to retell it to illustrate the differences from canon. This didn't feel that way and major props for following the original while making it your own. Looking forward to where you go with this. Are you planning to have original stories or following the episodes?
I also agree on the calender system not being based on a forgotten conflict between the alicorn siblings, that never struck me as realistic.

Bit o' both; as we go further down the line, more and more original stories will appear. However, given the changes in gender, many of the canon episodes will go down very differently. As well, many chapters will be condensed or even skipped (though its events are still mentioned to have happened). It all depends on how it affects the story.

Hi! Editor and kinda co-writer here.

Regarding Phil's name:

TL;DR: Slireon decided that Phil should literally be Pinkie Pie, having woken up one day as a stallion. The rest of the Pie family get to keep their names (i.e. Maud Pie, Limestone Pie, Marble Pie); therefore, Pinkie had to find a new name for himself; he settled on Philippos, both because of its meaning ("lover of horses") and because it allowed him to keep the alliteration of his name's initials.

Like Slireon said himself, there will be a bit of both. Some chapters will be essentially retellings of episodes of the show, similar to the two chapters that have already been published (e.g. The Ticket Master). Some episodes might be rewritten almost from scratch, sharing few similarities with the original episodes. Some episodes might be skipped or erased altogether (e.g. Sisterhooves Social makes no sense if the Mane 6 are males; we'll also skip Swarm of the Century because, for some weird fucking reason, Slireon despises that episode). A few others might be pushed forward or backward (e.g. Winter Wrap Up and Fall Weather Friends; they will both happen before The Best Night Ever, but they'll be re-arranged so that the seasons actually make some sense. Additionally, some of the events of the later seasons might happen way sooner than in the show). Finally, as the plot advances, there will be more and more original stories, though, of course, we can't give away any details yet.

Glad to see you enjoyed the story!

I admit I am deeply amused at the idea of Twilight's brother pulling the extremely overprotective brother mode as soon as he finds about about twilight's new friends.

All I can really say is great job on this latest chapter. I love the bit about mixing up the "episode order". So, yes, combining "Call of the Cutie" with a couple of bits of "Cutie Mark Chronicles" (i.e. Applejack and Butterscotch already sharing THEIR cutie mark stories) is a really good detail. Plus, I have a feeling that Shiny KNOWS his sister is powerful enough to more than take care of herself, but pulls the "extremely over-protective big brother" bit mostly to avoid his sister gaining a criminal record (i.e. he is fully aware that his sister could do MUCH worse to a stallion that made the mistake of REALLY cheesing her off than HE could, but is trying to make sure she doesn't have to). The detail of Applejack getting teased for leaping to Twilight's defense when the others' line of questioning started getting too uncomfortable was pretty good. Scootaloo and Bloom meeting a few days sooner than in canon was great, as were the Crusaders managing to get in some non-violent karmic humiliation on Diamond and Silver. And, yeah, I also liked the snarky comments at close to the beginning that double as ironic foreshadowing.

Plus, once more, you did an excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, humor and future chapter set-ups in all the right places and I will very certainly be looking forward to more of this.

Totally different from cleverpun's The Unexpected Sexual Harassment of Twilight Sparkle :D

To be perfectly honest, I first learned of cleverpun's The Unexpected Sexual Harrasment of Twilight Sparkle existence yesterday, while I was checking the "similar" fics that FIMFiction features at the side of the current story.
However, while the premises are similar, I hope this fic can stand on it's own and offer its unique spin on it!

Y'know, I never actually thought of it (Shining's overprotection) like that; at least, to me, Shining knows his sister is an unparalleled magical prodigy, and one who can probably obliterate whoever annoys her into oblivion... But first and foremost, to him, she's his baby sister, and it's his duty to protect her.

Whoa mama. Really good work on this alternate spin on "Dragonshy" (with hints of both "Bridle Gossip" AND "Swarm of the Century", though both of the latter two as CMC/Spike adventures). I LOVED the work that went into the characterizations, action, mix of both humor AND serious stuff, general adventure wrap-up AND future story set-up in all the right places. I especially liked the bits of backstory concerning Butterscotch and her family (including not just his fear of dragons, but also why his parents and brother are the way THEY are). And, yeah, I can see why AJ would get so upset about the dragon's self-centeredness , ESPECIALLY concerning the stakes. And Celestia actually gave a good reason for them NOT bringing Spike in on it.

This chapter took a while, but was VERY well worth the wait.

To the victors go the spoils too .... 1 dragon hoard .... check ... dovahscotch badassery .... check .... twilight romance points due to self sacrifice ... check.
Unless your going eris butterscotch route.

Probably because it isn't...? :ajbemused:

C) William A Grey made the terrible mistake of starting to read Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons. We could only write whenever I'd caught him in between chapters, and as he's been reading almost nonstop, it was near impossible.

I regret nothing! Nothing, I tell ya! All hail Blackjack, the Queen of Whiskey!


This story doesn't have a "sex" tag. It might have romance (though it's still a bit early for any relationships), but it's highly unlikely to have any sex scenes. Still, who knows.

“His armour was actually pretty funny; it made him look like a big onion.”

Your Dark Souls is showing^^

For that Pirates of Penzance reference alone you get an up vote. That made me giggle out loud reading it.

This is an amazing concept that I'm surprised no one else has done! I love this plan of Twilight being friends with 5 stallions, who each have feelings for her! Can't wait for more & to see what Spike & the C.M.C. did to Ponyville!

P.S. i wished you did Ticket Master. Not doing that episode was a terrible decision, that needs to be fix.

First and foremost, thank you all so much for your comments! I hope you've enjoyed it.

Now, that would be spoiling it :v
I will, however, go on the record and say that Discord is the Spirit of Chaos, rather than just an embodiment of it. Therefore, I'm of the idea that Discord is fundamentally genderless, and everything else, physically and psychologically, depends on Discord's own chaotic, self-indulgent whims.

It's showing? Well, I had no idea it was hiding, what with the constant use of Dark Souls and Dark Souls-themed music, and Phil literally dressing up as Sunbro and shouting "Praise the Sun" while doing the gesture :rainbowlaugh:

Credit goes to William A. Grey. He came up with that one.

To be perfectly honest, this idea must have been done already in the 7+ years of this fandom, and for that reason, I'm mixing it up with full-blown Alternate Universe elements and alternative character interpretations to make it feel at least somewhat new and exciting. If it worked, that's for you, the reader, to judge (and tell me).

PS: Ticket Master is actually the episode immediately after Spike/CMC's, and already halfway done. We felt the chapter would benefit by having some further character development and world building before, because, oh boi will the GGG be different.
It shouldn't be a long wait between the publishing of the two chapters.

... of course, first I have to finish Spike/CMC, and that's going to take a while. Co-writer's undivided attention to reading Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons put a brake to writing any further during the vacations, and now, University is my full priority.
The chapter will be up when it's done, but I can't give an estimate.
However, I haven't abandoned the fic and it will be continued.

To be honest, I wanted to make a few more changes to the lyrics, but I feel that part of the song fits Twilight well enough as it is (inserting a few lines about magic, of course). The "pegasus, unicorn and earth pony" line was a tough one, tho; nothing else I came up with fitted the metric of the song xd
Glad to see you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

To complement what Slireon said, we're Chileans. Southern Hemisphere. Therefore, our summer vacations ended earlier this month, so we haven't had as much time as we had before.

Me reading 1.8-million-words-long Project Horizons during the final weeks of our vacations didn't help much, lol.

Still, rest assured we will see what the f:yay:k the CMCs and Spike did to Ponyville. And Ticket Master is coming next; with a setting like this, skipping that episode would be a crime against humanity, equinity, and anything-else-you-can-think-of-nity (?)

Really? There are other stories (kinda) like this cuz usually its either, the Mane 6 as stallions or its just Twilight as a stallion. Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.

Also, yay! Love that Ticket Master is actually gonna happen, right after Twilight & the Boys fixing what Spike & The C.M.C. did to Ponyville. I was laughing so hard, when the gang came back to see everything on fire! :rainbowlaugh:

Anyways Slireon, you're very welcome & thank you for taking a lot of your time & effort to work on this instant classic. All of us, here reading this very appropriate it & don't worry about the next chapter, we can wait. :twilightsmile:

Summer ends early for you, guys!?!? You poor bastards... :pinkiegasp::fluttershysad:

I mean, we had summer vacations from early December to early March, so... Yeah, they were cool.

What does suck is celebrating Christmas with 35°C (95°F, I think). You bastards in the north celebrate with snow, warm food, and overall nice things... and down here we're melting our asses away with seasonally-inappropriate decorations xd

Excellent job on the latest chapter. Loved the focus on Spike and the Crusaders. The argument in the beginning concerning Zecora was great as was Apple Bloom getting stubborn enough to investigate on her own, Apple Bloom's own inner argument concerning Spike, Spike and the other Crusaders' guilt ultimately proving stronger than their fear, the argument that followed between the Crusaders immediately after they caught up to Bloom, Lyra and Bon Bon's own argument and Spike's point out concerning the town's xenophobia. Plus, yeah, the parasprites and poison joke effects ARE best left implied. And, yeah, Sweetie Belle pretty much dominating in the games Spike and the Crusaders played was another funny bit (especially the part about Spike having to do her homework for six months [and thinking about the advantages to his upbringing with Twilight's family]).

At any rate, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. And I will definitely be looking forward to more of this, but will also respect that real world matters need to take top priority.

“Hi! My name’s Phil Pie, and this is your surprise party! Were you surprised? Were ya? Were ya?”

Phil Pie, huh?


Seeing Scootaloo choke the hell out of Sweetie Belle, while continuing to talk to Spike was freaking hilarious & makes up for the long wait! :rainbowlaugh:

Yes, I know. I posted the comment before I continued reading.

I thought male Pinkie's name was Bubble Berry. Also, if this is a serious story, then why is there a comedy tag?

Again, very good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I have to admit, I do feel bad for Twilight, not only for being temporarily homeless due to Spike and the Crusaders' shenanigans, but also not getting the chance to explain that THEY WERE ALL going to get tickets anyway. And at least Twilight actually KNOWS the Gala is a snoozefest (which is why she has avoided it in the past) and I DID like the alterations to Elusive AND Butterscotch's reasons for going to the Gala. And, on another note, yeah, I can see why Artemis would have a hard time re-adjusting to modern life. And, at least Trixie isn't gender-flipped (Twilight's got enough to worry about just with her five best friends AND Prince Artemis after her without "the Great and Powerful Presto" zig-zagging between challenging her and flirting with her).

At any rate, I will very assuredly be looking forward to more of this.

For Equestria, these days, lies in the brink of chaos.

And chaos, my dear?

Chaos is a ladder that only the brave and the cunning can climb.

I'm guessing Discord would be thrilled to meet Elusive.

S-so… adorable... his agonizing voice resounded inside Apple Bloom’s mind.

Good. The nexus had been established successfully.

Buy some apples.


Buy some apples!


Buy. Some. Apples.

W-what are you?! He was terrified. Good. Good... She relished in his crippling fear, like a cat with a mouse in its claws.

Ah’m yer God now.




Still not as crazy and out of nowhere as Scootaloo being Slendermane's daughter.

“Ain’t like anypony’s gonna miss ‘im,” Big Mac said.

Except maybe Sassaflash, his GIRLFRIEND

Because it can still be funny, even when there's a real plot underneath it all, as well as character growth and developments to the status quo. Because the 'throwaway jokes' are still incorporated to the overall plot, and actions, no matter how dumb or silly may seem, actually have consequences.

Except Caramel's death.
Because no one really cares.
Nope, not even her.

I never said Artemis was interested in Twilight. His genderswap has more to do with the A plot (the main plot) than the B plot (the romance). Everyone else remains their canon gender.
And Trixie doesn't have to be a dude to flirt with Twilight.

It's not supposed to be, it's a Rule 63 applied to Princess Luna and the Mane Six minus Twilight.

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