Chapter 3: Magnet
Twilight had to admit it: Ponyville was, indeed, a very pleasant town. She hadn’t really noticed it the first day she’d been there, busy as she had been with the Night King’s imminent return, the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, and viscerally hating every pony that got in her way. However, once free of the looming threat of everlasting doom, the quaint little hamlet had a rather halcyon, almost idyllic, atmosphere.
Ponies went on and about their lives, walking down the cobbled streets of the town. Some set up their stalls in the nearby market square for today’s sales, while others looked for groceries to buy. Others yet just sat on the benches, basking in the peaceful, calm ambient.
A wall-eyed grey pegasus mare was flying above, a mailmare’s bag across her torso. A white female unicorn bobbed her head at her giant headphones’ beat. A green mint unicorn with a lyre cutie mark was literally resting on her flank in a bench, comically contrasting with the tan, curly-maned earth pony next to her.
Twilight did a double take. Wait, is that Lyra? she wondered. Huh, guess Ponyville is a magnet for weirdos.
Like me.
Or these guys.
For, indeed, “weirdos” was the perfect word to describe her current company, her co-Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, and her very first friends.
And despite all that, she felt like she was right where she belonged hanging out with them.
Shining is sooo going to kill them, though. The overprotective brother by excellence, he’d buck anypony who he deemed was getting a bit too cozy with his baby sister straight into next month.
And that’s without bringing up the fact that they were all over at least two years older than her. But, then again, as the academic prodigy she was, Twilight was more than used to being the youngest of virtually every bunch she had ever been a part of. Even Moondancer, who, out of her acquaintances at the Academy, was the closest to her age, was two full years her senior. Twilight herself was entirely unbothered by their age gap, but Shining would probably have a fit.
He’d probably kill Butterscotch just with his glare, too, she thought, glancing at the timid butter pegasus, who was enjoying an iced tea.
About a week after that fateful night, the six were now having brunch, sitting in a round table at the Clover Café. It was one of the first times since then that all six of them could hang out together at the same time, what with Applejack’s farm work, Elusive’s fashion store, Rainbow Blitz weather patrol (and practice, and naps), Butterscotch’s animal care, and Phil’s whatever-he-felt-like-doing (mainly helping out at Sugarcube Corner, though he lacked any kind of schedule so it was highly irregular). For her part, Twilight, having taken residence at the town’s library, was now in charge of its upkeep and administration.
Which would be great if anypony actually bothered to go to the library, Twilight rolled her eyes internally as she sipped her cherry soda.
“How have you been adjusting to Ponyville, Twilight?” Butterscotch asked softly.
“It’s certainly different from Canterlot, but in a good way,” she smiled. “Canterlot always seemed a bit claustrophobic to me.”
Elusive frowned. “Claustrophobic? Why would you say that?”
“The spires, the towers, the apartments everywhere… I don’t know, it’s a bit dizzying. You can never see more than two blocks away before a building blocks your sight. And it’s always bustling with far more ponies that you can count.”
“But it’s a wonderful city! It’s the capital of Equestria itself! I doubt I could ever get tired of it,” the white unicorn said.
“You should see Cloudsdale!” interjected Blitz, before taking a sip of his cider. “Now that’s a city.”
“Let me grow wings and I’ll give you a call,” Twilight snarked good-naturedly.
Butterscotch mulled for an instant. “Well, there’s always alternatives for the non-pegasi. Balloon rides, carriages…”
“Oh! How about helicopters?” Phil chimed in. “I love helicopters!”
“I… don’t think so?” Butterscotch blinked. “Uhm… what’s a helicopter?”
“Eh, never mind, you guys aren’t ready for it yet,” the pink menace hoof-waved the question.
A pale yellow mare with a raspberry mane and a rose cutie mark walked past them, a spring in her canter and a blissful smile on her face. However, this particular pony’s passing did not go unnoticed by the stallions, who eyed her with suspicion. Twilight, confused, was about to ask them what was the matter, but Applejack spoke up first.
“That’s new,” he muttered.
“Yeah,” Blitz said with a confused frown. “What’s got her so happy?”
Elusive smirked with the face of somepony who knew exactly how the world was going to end. “Didn’t you hear? Rose seems to have a coltfriend now.”
Phil gasped in an extremely over the top way, eyes wide as saucers and jumping up from his seat. “No way!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Is that… weird?”
“Well, Rose can be a… how to say it… difficult pony to deal with,” Elusive explained diplomatically.
“Yeah!” Phil agreed. “She’s no fun, always panicking and fretting and worrying about the silliest things!” Then he added quietly, muttering mostly for himself, “she does make pretty good flowers, tho.”
“An’ she’s rarely, if ever, seen without Lily and Daisy. Heck, for a time Ah thought they were in some sorta threeway relationship,” said Applejack with disapproval.
“And she can be very judgmental about things she doesn’t understand,” Butterscotch added softly.
“Which is pretty much everything,” Rainbow interjected nonchalantly, taking a sip of his cider.
Twilight turned her gaze towards the blissful mare as she put up her flower stand, a soft smile on her face. The unicorn frowned. “You guys make her sound like she’s a terrible pony.”
“Oh, my dear, of course she’s not,“ said Elusive. “She has some very redeeming qualities, for sur—”
“It’s just that we have never seen them,” Blitz interrupted yet again. Elusive rolled his eyes.
Twilight again turned her gaze at the earth pony. But she seems so happy… she reflected, then voiced her thoughts to her friends.
Elusive hummed. “Twilight, forgive me if I’m intruding, but have you ever had a special somepony?” He didn’t wait for an answer, though Twilight had none to give him. “That pony, right there, she’s in love. At this point, nothing can bother her, nor shake her out of her daze. You could tell her the universe is about to be destroyed unless she pays full attention to each and every single one of your words, and she would just smile at you and nod absentmindedly. You surely know what I’m referring to?”
“Uhhh…” Twilight was embarrased to admit that no, she didn’t. Or at least, she had never felt that way about a pony. Books, on the other hoof…
“Lay off the missy, Elusive. If she doesn’t wanna talk about it, then why should she?” Applejack interjected, not unkindly. Elusive shrugged, and took another sip of his tea.
“Gee, white-knighting much?” Rainbow rolled his eyes.
“No, Ah’m just sayin’ that we shouldn’t put her in the spot, that’s all,” the farmpony said nonchalantly. “How’d ya feel if we started askin’ about yer griffon girl?”
The pegasus nodded after a beat. “Point taken.”
“‘Griffon girl’?” Twilight asked, curious.
Blitz’s eyes widened, then glared at Applejack, who was smirking mischievously.
“Well played, Apple. Well played,” he muttered, then turned towards Twilight with a sigh. “Her name’s Gilda; she’s an old friend from Flight School, and we still keep in touch from time to time.”
“Yes, you certainly keep touching each other when you meet up,” Elusive hummed.
Rainbow, startled, got oddly defensive. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it! Butters, give me a helping hoof here!”
The butter pegasus gulped.
“Why, you know her?” Twilight inquired, her curiosity peaking. The plot thickens!
The speedster nodded. “Yeah, we were all together in Flight School!”
“Well, I… I always kinda thought you two were a thing. Sorry,” Butterscotch said with a flinch.
Phil smiled widely. “Aww, Rainbow Blitz has a griffon girlfriend! That’s so sweet! And weird. But sweet!”
“We’re not dating!”
“Sure thing, partner.”
“We’re just friends!” Rainbow paused for a beat. “With benefits.”
The whole table (minus Phil) groaned in unison.
“We didn’t need to know that!” Twilight facehoofed, uncomfortable with the openly sexual turn the conversation was taking.
“That’s unnatural!” Applejack frowned.
In contrast, Phil cheerfully exclaimed, “Sounds like fun! First Elusive and the gay sea serpent, and now you and a griffon! Love truly knows no boundaries!" he wiped a tear from his eye.
"You'll never let it go, won't you..." Elusive muttered glumly.
"Nope!" After a beat, Phil looked quizzically at Blitz. "How do you get around the beak, though, when it comes to—”
Applejack interrupted him forcefully. “Ah’m gonna stop ya right there. No. We don’t care, an’ neither do we wanna know.” The rest of the gang nodded, including a very flustered Rainbow Blitz. Applejack took a deep chug of his cider, then stood up. “Well, fellas, it’s been nice, but Ah’ve gotta go.”
“Do you really have to? It’s still very early,” Twilight observed, her ears dropping slightly.
“Ah’d love to stay, missy, but today’s Apple Bloom’s ninth birthday and Ah promised her Ah’d pick her up from school today,” he paused, then turned to Elusive. “Come to think of it, shouldn’t you go pick Sweetie Belle up, too?”
The white unicorn shrugged. “She went to Fillydelphia with my parents for the weekend and they’re due to arrive in about two days, so no.”
“Fair enough. See y’all later!” he waved his stetson at them, then turned and left towards the school.
Knowing his little sister, Applejack was expecting a bouncing, squealing, giggling filly, cheering that it was her birthday and the best day ever and all that.
He did not, however, expect to find a despondent, downcast Apple Bloom.
“What’s the matter, Apple Bloom?” Applejack asked, after a few minutes of awkward silence.
“Nothin’”, she answered laconically.
“Apple Bloom…”
“What?”
“Ya know Ah can tell when ya’re lyin’, right?”
“Ah’m not lyin’,” she lied blatantly.
Applejack sighed, then stopped to face his little sister. Lower lip quivering, eyes looking at the ground, ears drooped... heck, even her ribbon looked sad!
“Yes, ya are. Now, tell yer big brother what’s happenin’ before Ah tell Big Mac ya’re sad.”
Apple Bloom gulped. Big Mac, despite being a quiet, humble, and gentle pony, was a fearsome force to be reckoned when something, anything, upset his family.
“It’s just that…” she began, then trailed off.
“It’s just that...?” Applejack prodded.
“Miss Cheerilee taught us about cutie marks durin’ class today, an’ Diamond Tiara started makin’ fun of me for bein’ a blank flank...”
“Diamond Tiara? That’s Filthy Rich’s daughter, ain’t she?”
“Yeah, an’ she’s a mean bully!” Apple Bloom blurted out. And the dam came crashing down. “An’ she’s always braggin’ about how cool an’ special her cutie mark makes her but she’s the same mean pony she was back when she was still a blank flank an’ yet she’s actin’ so high an’ mighty like we’re all beneath her just because she’s got her cutie mark an’ it’s just not fair! It’s not fair!” she screamed, jumping up and down in frustration.
“Ya want me to talk with Mr. Rich or with Miss Cheerilee?” he offered.
“NO!” Applejack raised his eyebrow at his sister’s outburst. “Ah mean, it’s not that bad… An’ Ah can deal with it on mah own. There’s no, uh, need to get the grown-ups involved.”
“Ya sure?”
“Uh-huh,” the filly nodded.
Applejack wasn’t happy at all that they were makin’ fun of his little sister, but he trusted her, and there were fights she had to wage on her own. Doesn’t mean Ah’m happy about it… but she’s growin’, and she's gotta do this on her own.
But if Ah ever see her cryin’, Ah’ll start buckin’.
They continued their way towards the farm, the cobbled path turning into dirt under their hooves.
“Hey, Applejack…”
“Yeah, sis?”
“How old were ya when ya got yer cutie mark?”
“Older than ya, that’s fer sure.”
“Really?”
“Eeyup. It was eleven years ago, when Ah was eleven…”
Big Mac, with fifteen, was already a big mastodon of a stallion, but Ah was still scrawny and useless aroun’ the farm. Ya weren’t even born by then. And Ah was wonderin’, what exactly was my special talent? Ah couldn’t buck very well, cookin’ was as dull as a blunt axe, and Ah nearly burnt down the barn when Ah tried to help Pops when we remodeled it.
So Ah thought that maybe, mah future wasn’t on the farm. Crazy, right? Big Mac was gonna inherit the farm one day, and we didn’t really get along at all by then, so Ah didn’t really have that much of a place at Sweet Apple Acres.
So Ah asked Pops if Ah could go and try mah luck down in the big city, Manehattan, with our Uncle Orange. He wasn’t happy at first but he eventually relented, after Ah mentioned him that both of his brothers left the farm to make their own fortunes, while he, as the eldest, kept Sweet Apple Acres after Grandpa passed. So he gave me his hat as a keepsake, and off Ah went to Manehattan.
Ah won’t lie, sis. Manehattan was awful. Uncle and Aunt Orange were nice and acommodatin’ and all, but they’re city ponies. They tried to make me behave like a fancy schmancy Manehattanite, and boy did Ah hate every second of it.
Then Ah realised Ah wasn’t cut out for that life. Ah missed the farm, Ah missed Pops and Ma, Ah missed Granny, and yeah, Ah even missed Big Mac, though we hated each other’s apples by then. And as daybreak came, Ah saw a rainbow pointin’ towards Ponyville’s direction! An’ then Ah knew.
Ah knew Ah belonged on the farm, and Ah knew that mah destiny was there, no matter if Ah never actually owned the thing. Ah just needed mah family, an’ they needed me.
And when Ma and Pops hugged me back, bam! These three bad boys appeared on mah flank! Pops told me to keep the hat then, and Ah’ve been happily workin’ in the farm ever since, doin’ whatever needs to be done to help the family!
“So, ya see, Apple Bloom, cutie marks appear when they’re supposed to! They won’t appear before their time, but neither will ya be a blank flank forever. Ya’ll just have to wait and let life take its course,” Applejack concluded with a wise smirk.
“But Ah don’t want to wait! Ah want mah cutie mark now!”
“Ya didn’t listen to anythin’ of what Ah just said, did ya.” It wasn’t a question.
“Somethin’ about ya not havin’ yer cutie mark until ya were eleven! How could ya bear it? That sounds awful!”
Applejack facehoofed.
“Ah was just a late bloomer, that’s all! It’s nothin’ to be ashamed of; Big Mac got his when he was thirteen!”
“Why do ya say that like it’s meant to make me feel better?” Apple Bloom whined, “If anythin’, it just means Ah’ll be stuck as a blank flank for ages!”
“So what? What got yer jimmies all rustled today?”
“It’s mah birthday!” Apple Bloom said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
It wasn’t.
“... And?”
“An’ Ah want mah cutie mark!”
“... AND?”
“AN’ AH WANT IT NOW!” Apple Bloom pouted heart-wrenchingly at him, but after nine full years living with her, he had grown immune to her adorableness.
Applejack sighed.
“Look, if ya really want yer cutie mark, why not accompany me to sell apples tomorrow at the market square and—”
“THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!” Apple Bloom cheered.
“BUT! Ya’ll get yer mind outta cutie marks fer the rest of the day, and ya’ll enjoy yer birthday! Do Ah make mahself clear?”
“Sir, yes sir!” the filly saluted.
Next morning, brother and sister were installed with their cart displaying all sort of apple delicacies: homemade pies, some bottles of cider, and baskets upon baskets of apples.
“Now, listen here, Apple Bloom. We gotta sell at least two thirds of what we’ve got here. Think ya can do it?”
“Do ya doubt me?” Apple Bloom asked, full of swagger. Ah’m so gonna get mah cutie mark!
Applejack blinked with an unamused stare. “Yes,” he said flatly.
Apple Bloom blushed. “Well, don’t! Ah can do this, easy peasy lemon squeezy!”
“Don’t say that ever again, ya’re embarrasin’ the family,” Applejack winced at the lemon mention. After a beat, he added “well, at least it ain’t pears.” He shuddered.
However, as the hours passed, Apple Bloom didn’t feel any closer to getting her cutie mark. Sure, she had managed to sell some apples, but she had also blundered many, many other sales, and Applejack was looking at her with disapproval after coming to her rescue in her latest bungle as Bon Bon left with her bags full of apples and without paying a single bit for them.
Ah have to prove mahself! she thought with urgency. The next sell is a must!
She looked around the crowd, trying to pick up a pony to try a direct sales pitch.
“You, sir!” she yelled at a dark brown stallion with a closely cropped mane and a short, dark tail, an hourglass cutie mark, the largest ears Apple Bloom had ever seen, and a black, worn leather jacket. “Wanna buy some apples?”
The stallion looked at her askance. “No, thanks,” he said in a deep voice with a northern Trottish accent.
“Are ya sure?”
“Very sure.”
“But are ya really, really sure?”
“Yes,” he deadpanned.
“But why not? Ya know what they say, ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’!”
He blinked. “Are you trying to be funny?” he asked, raising one his eyebrows.
“Ah… no?” Apple Bloom answered taken aback.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me…” and he turned to leave.
Think, Apple Bloom, think! Ya gotta sell some darn apples to get yer cutie mark!
So she unleashed her secret weapon.
She dropped her ears, opened her eyes wide, and pouted at the stallion, trying to look as sad as she physically could.
“But are ya completely super duper absolutely fantastically sure?”
“Look,” he said, exasperated, turning around to face her. “I already told you tha—”
As soon as they made visual contact, the stallion was immediately paralysed; his eyes wide and unblinking as he stared at the filly’s own depths. No words left his mouth. No further steps were taken. They were hunter and prey, and he was completely at Apple Bloom’s mercy.
S-so… adorable... his agonizing voice resounded inside Apple Bloom’s mind.
Good. The nexus had been established successfully.
Buy some apples.
W-what?
Buy some apples!
N-n-nnno…
Buy. Some. Apples.
W-what are you?! He was terrified. Good. Good... She relished in his crippling fear, like a cat with a mouse in its claws.
Ah’m yer God now.
BUY.
SOME.
APPLES.
The stallion continued to resist futilely, his mind squirming, desperately trying to find a way out, but Apple Bloom knew he was a goner. His vital signs were going haywire.
He’d break.
Sooner or later.
Still, she stepped up her game.
After all, she didn’t have all day.
A single tear rolled down her left cheek.
*SPLAT!*
“AAAARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH” The stallion howled in agony as one of his forehooves shot towards his chest, the rest of his legs buckling underneath him. His eyes widened and darted around in panic, as his breathing accelerated.
A strange golden aura started emanating from his hooves. The stallion, horrified, stumbled at full gallop towards an odd wooden blue box, the weirdest barn Apple Bloom had ever seen. He entered, shut the doors with all his might, and a few seconds later, the barn started fading from existence with a wheezing sound.
And then it disappeared.
Apple Bloom blinked.
“What a strange stallion!” she remarked casually at her stunned brother, before returning to her job. “Apples! Come an’ buy some apples!”
In the end it seemed, however, that selling apples was not fated to be Apple Bloom’s special talent.
Applejack was staring at her with the most bemused face she had ever seen him wear.
“We’re never doin’ that again. Sorry sis, but apple sellin’ is not yer future.”
“But… How then am I supposed to get mah cutie mark?”
“Are ya seriously goin’ to keep up with that?”
“AH WANT MAH CUTIE MARK!” Apple Bloom pouted adorably.
Once again, no sell. “Try helpin’ Granny with the pies? Ah don’t know.”
“Sounds borin’. Oh! Ah could try helpin’ ya an’ Big Mac with the applebuckin’!” She cheerfully proposed.
“Sis, at this point the trees are more liable to buck the apples outta ya than ya at them,” Applejack rolled his eyes. “Go on, try the cookin’ with Granny. What’s the worst that can happen?”
As Apple Bloom sat in silence, fidgeting in the hospital’s waiting room, she found her answer.
Big Mac was stoically positioned in the seat right next to her.
“... So… Is Applejack goin’ to be alright?” Apple Bloom asked softly.
“Eeyup.”
“An’ Rainbow Blitz?”
“Eeyup.”
“An’ Caramel?”
“Nnope.”
“Why not?”
Big Mac stared at her blankly.
“He’s dead.”
“Oh.”
“Ya killed ‘im.”
“Right.”
“Ain’t like anypony’s gonna miss ‘im,” Big Mac said.
They never really liked him, anyway.
“But still. Cookin’ ain’t yer thin’, an’ that’s the most important part,” her elder brother sentenced.
“Ah know,” Apple Bloom sighed sadly.
*SLAM!*
“Is Rainbow Blitz going to be alright?!” wailed a high-pitched female voice.
The receptionist, a brown pegasus mare with a red mane, raised her sight from her trashy magazine to meet the intruder: a small, orange pegasus filly with a purple faux hawk mane and tail.
“And you are…?”
“I’m Scootaloo!” she yelled, like it actually meant something. Since it obviously didn’t, after a brief, awkward moment, the mare tried again.
“Are you related to Mr. Blitz?”
“I’m his number one fan!”
“... Right,” she said flatly.
“I heard he had been poisoned! I need to know how he’s doing! Is he awake? Will he be fine? Will he ever be awesome again?!” she shrieked like a madmare.
The receptionist blinked.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” she said politely, before returning her gaze to her Sheepony Daily. “They don’t pay me enough for this sh…” she grumbled under her breath.
The filly opened her mouth to protest, but after a second, just looked down sadly and walked over to the nearest seat.
Fate is inexorable.
Yet, despite everything, you cannot say that Fate doesn’t have a sense of humour.
One day, you’re sad because you don’t know what your special talent is, and you live in an over judgmental society in which free will amounts to utterly nothing, and therefore, your value is wholly decided by a magical drawing on your butt that is meant to represent said special talent.
The next evening, trying to find out what is your special talent, you poison your brother, his friend, and some other irrelevant dude who apparently died or something, and end up in the hospital, waiting for news about their state.
And, it turns out, there’s another pony of your same age worried about your brother’s friend for her own reasons, unknown to you. And she’s walking towards the nearest seat.
And said seat was the one immediately next to Apple Bloom.
The downcast pegasus filly sat, then dropped her head into her forehooves in an adorably sad manner.
Something clicked in Apple Bloom’s head.
“Wait, Ah know ya! Ya’re in miss Cheerilee’s class!” she greeted the newcomer with a grin.
Scootaloo looked at her quizzically, before her eyes lightened up in recognition.
“Oh, yeah! You’re the filly they were calling ‘blank flank’ yesterday, right?”
Apple Bloom’s expression immediately soured.
To her credit, Scootaloo had the decency to be abashed.
“Heheh. Sorry. But look! I’m a blank flank too!” she exclaimed, showing Apple Bloom her butt.
Indeed, no cutie mark had found its place to the pegasus’s flank yet.
Apple Bloom’s eyes lightened, as an idea came to her mind.
“Hey! Ya wanna join me in tryin’ to get mah cutie mark?” she asked.
Scootaloo seemed to be seriously considering it, carefully mulling over the possible consequences of this possible new friendship. Was this stranger the pony she’d want to befriend? Would they truly have anything in common besides their blank flanks? And weren’t the circumstances of their meeting awfully strange and contrived? Scootaloo reflected on it all before making such a momentous, life-altering decision.
For all of half a second.
“YEAH!”
Big Mac snorted.
“So, what have you been doing so far?”
“Ah tried sellin’ apples with mah brother, but Ah didn’t do so good. Then Ah tried cookin’ with mah granny…” She trailed off.
“And how did that one go?” Scootaloo asked curiously.
“Well…” Apple Bloom glanced towards the interior of the hospital. The pegasus followed her sight, then scowled at her.
Apple Bloom grinned awkwardly.
“... You’re off the hook, but only because we’re friends now,” Scootaloo grumbled. “Otherwise, I’d totally buck you in the face right now.”
“So… remin' me how is this goin’ to get us our cutie marks?”
“Well, clearly apples are not your special talent, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to be a farmer, so I’ll just pass on trying what you’ve already done.”
“Hey!”
“No offense. But I’m no Apple. Isn’t that, like, required by law for being a farmer?”
“... Y’know, Ah think it might actually be,” Apple Bloom thought. “B’sides, ya’re not even an earth pony!”
“My point exactly. So we’ll just have to try other things!”
“Still, isn’t this a bit… too much?” Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.
“Well, before you poisoned him, I asked Rainbow Blitz for advice on getting my cutie mark, and he told me to just try everything! Something out there is bound to be your special talent!”
“What’s exactly with ya an’ Rainbow Blitz?”
“He’s the coolest, most awesome pony to ever exist!”
“Uh-huh.” Apple Bloom was not impressed.
“He is!”
“Ah’m not sayin’ otherwise.”
“But you’re not believing me!”
“Well, Ah just think Applejack is cooler,” Apple Bloom shrugged.
Scootaloo gasped like her new friend had just uttered an unforgivable blasphemy.
“You take that back!”
“But Ah…”
“TAKE IT BACK!”
“But—”
“TAKE. IT. BACK.”
Scootaloo had her own brand of cuteness: unlike Apple Bloom, she didn’t need to make a sad face and establish visual contact to submit her prey to her will, but rather, she got flustered, flared her little wings, and looked at you like she wanted to gut you like a fish and jump rope with your intestines still attached to your living, thrashing body.
Given that she was a cute little filly, it was far more adorable than menacing, but the sheer amount of confidence she oozed was so endearing you ended up obeying her anyways.
Apple Bloom’s depths squirmed, uncomfortable at the sight in front of her. Though Scootaloo was nothing out of the ordinary, her angry cuteness had an eldritch nature to it.
Have Ah just met mah match? she thought warily, looking at the obscenely adorably murderous filly. Then perhaps we are better off as friends, she thought with an evil smile.
This was a friendship worth keeping, the farmfilly decided.
“Okay, okay, Ah take it back…” she muttered.
Scootaloo looked so satisfied with herself afterwards that Apple Bloom found her thoughts to be vindicated.
Ponyville won’t stand a chance against us.
The matter settled, Apple Bloom’s thoughts turned back at the matter at hoof.
“Still, Ah don’t rightly see how bungee jumpin’ can be mah special talent…”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Well, look at it this way: if it is, you get your cutie mark! If it’s not, at least you had fun! Besides, how else do the professional killers get their cutie marks, if not by tryin’?”
Apple Bloom considered it thoroughly, looking down the steep ravine she was about to jump down, simple farm ropes tied around her and Scootaloo’s waists.
“Yeah!”
Apple Bloom wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
Neither was Scootaloo, for that matter.
Twisted it might be, but a sense of humour nonetheless.
“Alright!” Scootaloo cheered. “You jump, and I’ll hold the rope! Ready?”
“Ready!”
“Three! Two! One! Jump!”
Apple Bloom jumped down.
And promptly brought Scootaloo down with her.
The poor orange filly was too light to actually serve as an efficient counterweight to the farmfilly, and the instant the rope ran out, Scootaloo was sent tumbling down with Apple Bloom.
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Apple Bloom screamed at the top of her lungs, pure adrenaline running through her veins, time dilating, every second stretching into hours.
The floor was coming up to meet her, but she wasn’t afraid. She knew Scootaloo had her safe and sound.
The rope would tense up, and she would bounce, as she was meant to.
Any second now.
Boy, the floor is gettin’ awfully close.
Was the rope really that long?
“Oh my goodness!” a deep male voice shot through the air, and a yellow blur picked up the rope, yanking Apple Bloom roughly as her descent was suddenly stopped.
“HEY!” she yelled. “What gives?!”
“Yeah! We had everything under control!” Scootaloo complained.
Wait, Scootaloo? Apple Bloom turned her gaze, and sure enough, right next to her, rope tied around her body, hung Scootaloo. Apple Bloom scowled at the pegasus filly, who just grinned abashedly.
They landed soon enough, and their rescuer scowled, a stern look in his eyes.
Apple Bloom had literally no idea that the shy pegasus was able of doing such a thing.
“Girls, what you were doing is very, very dangerous. It requires very specific materials and responsible adult supervision,” Butterscotch scolded them. “I dread to think what would have happened had I not been nearby…”
“We would have gotten our cutie marks!”
“Your cutie…? Oh. Oh,” Butterscotch realised with a start. He frowned. “Applejack told me you wanted to get your cutie mark, but I thought you’d learned after poisoning him and Rainbow Blitz.”
“An’ killin’ Caramel.”
“Who?” The male pegasus blinked, confusion clear in his face. A few seconds later, he shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Still, my point stands.”
“Ah learned! Ah learned that farmin’ is not mah special talent, so Ah’ve gotta try other thangs!” Apple Bloom said innocently.
“Apple Bloom, you can’t force your cutie mark to appear,” he said kindly.
“That’s easy for you to say! You already got your cutie mark!” Scootaloo pointed out.
“How did ya get ya cutie mark anyway, Butterscotch?” Apple Bloom inquired, her attention in the three butterflies in his flank.
“Oh, well, you see…”
When I was young, I was a very, very weak flyer. Why, I could barely hold my own weight with my wings! You see, while my dad has a job in the Cloud Factory, my family is from Hovslo, up in Norhest, where flying isn’t all that important. I never really practiced flying, because I didn’t really need it.
I never felt much at home in Cloudsdale, to be honest. Thing is, to live there you have to be a very strong flyer. I wasn’t.
The other ponies used to pick up on me at the Flight School in Cloudsdale. They called me ‘Klutzscotch’, because I always ended up hitting the other ponies by accident, and they mocked my northern accent, too, calling me ‘barbarian’ and other mean names.
All but one underdog: Rainbow Blitz.
“Wait! You’re telling me that Rainbow Blitz wasn’t born being already awesome?” Scootaloo asked, shocked.
“Uhh… yes?” Butterscotch blinked.
“That. Is so. AWESOME!”
“How is that awesome?” Apple Bloom questioned sceptically.
“It means he became awesome by sheer force of will! If he could, then I can, too!” Scootaloo replied excitedly, stars in her eyes.
Well, back then, Rainbow Blitz was also a blank flank like me. He was nine years old, and I was eleven.
And he challenged the bullies that were making fun of me to a race. I don’t really know how it ended, though, because they shot out so fast from the start line I stumbled and fell from the clouds, straight down into a forest.
At first I was scared, alone in a strange new land. I couldn’t fly back to Cloudsdale because my wings were very weak, but I also had no idea where I was. I was about to begin crying when I saw them.
The animals of the forest were staring at me.
I had never seen such wonderful animals in my whole life.
Cloudsdale is far too high in the sky for butterflies to reach it, nor is it suitable for other types of animals. Not even birds usually go up there. And up in Hovslo, all we had were fish and maybe a few birds, because the land is so cold all year round!
But down here, in the flatlands, there were butterflies, and bunnies, and squirrels, and racoons, and bees, and dogs, and bears and… Well, you get the idea.
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
And then, a very scary explosion terrified them. It almost scared the feathers off my wings, too! But I was so entranced by the animals, by how much I wanted to get to know them, that I tried to calm them down. At first I thought it was useless, but they actually listened to me!
And I learned I had the ability to communicate with animals on another level, as easily as I can talk with you two right now!
I realised right then and there that that was what I wanted to keep doing for the rest of my life.
“Next thing I knew, I had my cutie mark,” Butterscotch concluded. “You see, at times you never quite know what your special talent is, and you might feel a bit lost and scared. But that’s okay. When you find what you’re good at, you’ll know it inside your heart.”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo glanced at each other for a moment.
“So… Ya’re sayin’ that Blitz was still a blank at nine an’ ya got yer cutie mark AT ELEVEN?!”
“And that we need to try new things with explosions?” Scootaloo added with a wicked grin.
Butterscotch did the only reasonable thing he could do.
He facehoofed, turned tail and fled.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go now. Just… just stay out of danger, please?” he kindly asked the two fillies. “Think of how angry Applejack would be.”
Apple Bloom looked down to the ground sadly. “Ah promise Ah’ll stay out of danger.”
With a smile, Butterscotch took flight and left the two fillies where they were.
After a moment of silence, Scootaloo spoke up.
“So… How do we untie ourselves?”
The next day at school was more bearable for Apple Bloom, since now, she was no longer alone (or with Twist, which, now that she had gotten her cutie mark, pretty much amounted to the same thing to be honest...). Now, Scootaloo chatted with her during the break, and during class they goofed constantly, to Miss Cheerilee’s chagrin.
But the best part was, they both despised Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s guts, and now, they had each other to back them up whenever those two started mocking them for the whole “blank flank” thing.
And as the stuck-up fillies made a show of inviting them to Diamond Tiara’s Cuteceañera, both girls didn’t need to try to escape anymore.
They could just go, hide under a table, and raid the food tables for something to eat while they chatted the hours away.
Which was exactly what they were doing right now.
“You should try the cupcakes,” Scootaloo said between munches. “They’re delicious!”
“Well, duh, Phil made them. If he wasn’t the best pink party pony alive, Ah reckon he’d have a cupcake cutie mark!” Apple Bloom agreed, taking one of Scootaloo’s looted cupcakes and eating them.
“D’you think it’s possible for a pony to have two different cutie marks?”
Apple Bloom scratched her chin in thought. “An interestin’ idea. Why do ya ask?”
“Well, you just said that Phil’s great at both parties and cupcakes. But there are someponies who don’t really like their special talents, they’re just good at it. My mum, for example. Her cutie mark is a shovel, because she’s great at gardening, but she doesn’t actually like it.”
“No? Then what does she do?” Apple Bloom frowned.
“She’s a private investigator, always going from one town to the other and searching up the truth. You think she could get another cutie mark related to that? She’s really good at it, too,” Scootaloo explained, her chest swelling with pride. However, Apple Bloom could also pick up a hint of sadness underneath. She never sees her, she realised.
“An’ yer dad?”
“I don’t have a dad,” Scootaloo said sadly, her ears drooped. “I live with my Aunt Holiday and my Auntie Lofty.”
“Oh.”
After an awkward silence, Apple Bloom spoke up.
“Ah don’t have parents either.”
Scootaloo looked at her with surprise.
“Really? What happened to them?”
Apple Bloom tried to reply, but she realised a knot had formed in her throat, and felt the sting of tears in her eyes.
“Ah… Ah don’t wanna talk about it,” she croaked. Ah thought Ah’d gotten over it… she thought sadly.
Scootaloo smiled softly, trying to cheer her up.
“Hey, you’d like me to get some more cupcakes?”
Apple Bloom nodded.
Scootaloo peeked out of the tablecloth that hid them, but instead of shooting for food, the filly stood rooted in her place.
Apple Bloom frowned. Is somethin’ off? So she peeked as well.
In the center of the room, a white unicorn filly with pink and lavender curls was lying in the floor, her beautiful silk dress torn after being caught by an inconveniently placed metal corner, leaving her flank clearly exposed to everypony’s sight.
A flank as blank as the day it was born.
And everypony was staring at her.
Silver Spoon snorted.
“Wow, that is, like, an amazing cutie mark.”
Diamond Tiara smirked smugly. “Nice try…”
“BLANK FLANK!” they said in unison, and ponies began to laugh. The little unicorn began tearing up.
It was the most disgusting spectacle they had ever seen.
Already upset from reminiscing about her parents, Apple Bloom felt her blood boil in rage, and she only wanted to buck those two stuck-up fillies straight in their ugly faces.
Scootaloo must have surely felt the same, for she suddenly called out, with all the anger and bravado she could muster:
“You’ve got a problem with blank flanks?!”
Silence descended on the room, as the many fillies and colts turned to look at them.
Scootaloo had walked out from below the table, and Apple Bloom decided to follow suit, giving a small wink towards Scoots’s direction. It’s us against them.
The stuck-up fillies didn’t deign to answer. So Apple Bloom decided it was her turn.
“She made ya a question. Ya got a problem with blank flanks?” she snarled.
“The problem is that she’s like, not special,” Silver Spoon said with the most buck-able voice ever.
“My brother says that if everypony is special, nopony is special…” the white unicorn muttered softly.
Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened in shock. Then, she snorted. “Wow. So you’re not only a blank flank, you’re also stupid.”
The unicorn flinched, starting to cry openly. Apple Bloom’s scowl was turning murderous.
“Yer the stupid one! Don’t ya see? She doesn’t have her cutie mark!”
Diamond Tiara blinked, unimpressed.
“We’ve noticed.”
Apple Bloom ignored her. “It means she’s full of potential! She can become so much! Her talent lies hidden in her future! She could be a scientist! Or an arcane mage! Or even Mayor of Ponyville!”
“Yeah! What sort of lame special talent is… is... “ Scootaloo frowned. “What even are your cutie marks?”
“Ah can’t see ‘em with those ugly dresses,” Apple Bloom pointed out.
Diamond Tiara scowled angrily. “We decided to wear them so you blank flanks wouldn’t feel so left out.”
“A bit too late for that, isn’t it?” Scootaloo snarked. “Come on, show us. It’s your cuteceañera, so let’s all see what we’re celebrating.”
Both stuck-up ponies glanced at each other, before huffing.
“If you insist.”
Both earth ponies, as gracefully as they could, undid the straps of their… uhm, “dresses”, and let them fall off to the floor, showing off their adorned flanks.
Silver Spoon had a silver spoon.
Diamond Tiara had a diamond tiara.
Truly, shaped like itself.
“Aren’t they wonderful?” Silver Spoon smiled smugly.
“Are. You. KIDDING ME? They’re the lamest cutie marks I’ve ever seen! A fancy spoon and a shiny tiara. What even are they supposed to stand for?” Scootaloo frowned mockingly. “Being useless, stuck-up cunts?”
Everypony gasped so hard, Apple Bloom felt like all the air in the room had been sucked. But she wasn’t shocked. On the contrary, she felt the glorious savour of victory bubbling inside of her.
Silver Spoon jaw was hanging open, paralysed in shock. On the other hoof, Diamond Tiara was trembling in barely contained fury.
“You… You little…” She gasped, then shrieked with all her might. “OUT! THE THREE OF YOU, OUT! YOU’RE RUINING MY CUTECEAÑERA!”
“An’ we couldn’t be happier about it,” Apple Bloom smirked.
“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!”
“Have fun being useless and unable to do anything about it!” Scootaloo cheerfully said goodbye, already halfway out of the door.
“Buh-bye!” Apple Bloom laughed, skipping behind her friend. The unicorn promptly followed them, scurrying out of the Sugarcube Corner, tattered dress in tow.
Once outside, the white filly jumped towards them and gave them an enormous hug.
“Oh my gosh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Heheh,” Scootaloo chuckled, “It was nothing.”
“It was everything,” she said with the most grateful look they had ever seen. Then, she frowned. “But… but why did you stand up for me? I’m just a blank flank.”
“Well, ain't this yer lucky day?” Apple Bloom said, showing the filly her own blank flank, Scootaloo following suit.
The unicorn gasped. “You too…?” She seemed at a loss for words, her eyes slowly lightening up in ill-contained happiness.
“Yep!” both said in unison.
“I’m Sweetie Belle!” she exclaimed immediately, her happiness as contagious as the Black Death.
“Ah’m Apple Bloom, and she’s Scootaloo!” the orange pegasus saluted. “We’re on a crusade to get our cutie marks! Wanna join us?”
“Yeah!” she nodded fervently, before adorably bouncing in place out of sheer joy.
Her happiness was so great, so absolute, so adorable…
So adorable…
So...
Woah, that’s… that’s really adorable, Apple Bloom thought, growing more uncomfortable by the second. Something about it just felt… wrong. Like it had no place in this realm of reality.
Apple Bloom’s insides squirmed at the sight. She glanced at Scootaloo, and she realised the pegasus looked as unsettled as she did.
Forget Ponyville; Equestria won’t stand a chance against us. Apple Bloom smirked evilly.
“So… now that we’re a group, we need a name. That’s how it works, right?” Scootaloo asked, breaking Apple Bloom’s daydreams of world domination.
“Oh, uhm… Well, Ah did say we were on a crusade to get our cutie marks…” Suddenly, she gasped, the answer laid bare in front of her. “We could be the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
“I like that!”
“Me too!” Sweetie Belle nodded.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, YAY!” All three screamed in unison at the top of their lungs, a giddy feeling of happiness inside each of them.
And that’s how Equestria’s end came to be.
Not with a bang.
But with the three most eldritchly adorable fillies joining forces.
The next afternoon, all three fillies were happily playing catch in the park, laughing and screaming, while two unicorns and one earth pony looked at them from the bench they were sitting on.
“Would ya look at that, huh, Elusive? Seems like our lil’ sisters are friends,” Applejack said with satisfaction.
“I couldn’t be happier for her,” the white unicorn said earnestly, a proud expression in his face. “She’s always been too shy for her own good. It’s great to see her so happy.”
"I'm glad you've already got out of the hospital, too," Twilight told the farmpony with a smile.
Applejack chuckled softly as he rubbed the back of his head.
The cheering of the fillies wasn’t enough for them to not notice when Roseluck stomped by them, a scowl on her face.
“What’s with her now?” Twilight asked.
Elusive sighed. “She broke up with her coltfriend. Said he’d turned into a complete stranger from one day to the other.”
Applejack frowned. “Ah don’t know. Ponies ain’t usually like that, we don’t change overnight. What kinda weirdo was he?”
“Applejack, haven’t you realised?” Twilight sighed with contentment. “This town really is a magnet for weirdos.”
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I admit I am deeply amused at the idea of Twilight's brother pulling the extremely overprotective brother mode as soon as he finds about about twilight's new friends.
All I can really say is great job on this latest chapter. I love the bit about mixing up the "episode order". So, yes, combining "Call of the Cutie" with a couple of bits of "Cutie Mark Chronicles" (i.e. Applejack and Butterscotch already sharing THEIR cutie mark stories) is a really good detail. Plus, I have a feeling that Shiny KNOWS his sister is powerful enough to more than take care of herself, but pulls the "extremely over-protective big brother" bit mostly to avoid his sister gaining a criminal record (i.e. he is fully aware that his sister could do MUCH worse to a stallion that made the mistake of REALLY cheesing her off than HE could, but is trying to make sure she doesn't have to). The detail of Applejack getting teased for leaping to Twilight's defense when the others' line of questioning started getting too uncomfortable was pretty good. Scootaloo and Bloom meeting a few days sooner than in canon was great, as were the Crusaders managing to get in some non-violent karmic humiliation on Diamond and Silver. And, yeah, I also liked the snarky comments at close to the beginning that double as ironic foreshadowing.
Plus, once more, you did an excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, humor and future chapter set-ups in all the right places and I will very certainly be looking forward to more of this.
Totally different from cleverpun's The Unexpected Sexual Harassment of Twilight Sparkle :D
9440414
To be perfectly honest, I first learned of cleverpun's The Unexpected Sexual Harrasment of Twilight Sparkle existence yesterday, while I was checking the "similar" fics that FIMFiction features at the side of the current story.
However, while the premises are similar, I hope this fic can stand on it's own and offer its unique spin on it!
9440124
Y'know, I never actually thought of it (Shining's overprotection) like that; at least, to me, Shining knows his sister is an unparalleled magical prodigy, and one who can probably obliterate whoever annoys her into oblivion... But first and foremost, to him, she's his baby sister, and it's his duty to protect her.
Not much of a rule 34
Still not as crazy and out of nowhere as Scootaloo being Slendermane's daughter.
Except maybe Sassaflash, his GIRLFRIEND
9473815
It's not supposed to be, it's a Rule 63 applied to Princess Luna and the Mane Six minus Twilight.