• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Hazel Mee

There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a pony in the depths of a Friendship binge.


Mainstay's life was like an old shoe: worn and uncomfortable, but familiar. Nopony went on grand adventures in Smile Harbour, there were no lost magic artifacts or rampaging monsters, just the daily chore of reaping the sea and whiling away a quiet evening at the pub. But Mainstay is sucked into a maelstrom when one of a hoofful of humans who emigrated to Equestria buys the house nextdoor! With his peaceful life dashed on the rocks he flounders in this strange new sea, trying to find something, or somepony, to hold onto.

Trigger warning: Lots of swearing, some violence, mentions of suicide and self-harm, and a little vaguely described intimacy.

epub: The epub exported from FimFic won't render some of the fonts correctly -- at least it doesn't on my Kobo. Please download a corrected version here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=15TqKiYMwN_QV7Dq05WD_BTYn4ZRZ10mS

Pre-read by Nevran Sarif, Cross Lament, and Crystal Wishes.

Photo used for the cover, courtesy of pxhere.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 118 )

Shades of Admiral Biscuit. I like. :)

Good start, I would like to see where your going with this.

The Monk
“Sadly, she was attempting to throw money at a store that had closed for the evening.” -The Whiskey Spirit

Something new! Fascinating.

Huh... This is new. I like it, to be honest. :pinkiesmile:

I feel like we skipped a chapter here. This is wonderfully written, but why are we hearing about all this drama through vague allusions? That would have been some great character definition man!

You might be right. But I think it works better as 'telling' in this sequence: Mayree's counting up reasons why she thinks he hates her needs to be a strong statement. I think it would have less impact if she's recounting events that the reader has already read.

Thank you for giving me insightful critique. :twilightsmile:

It's well written so far and interesting to be sure. Not many stories focus on OC's, and especially not woman. It's refreshing to read something a different from time to time.

Kind of Brony sent me. Quite an interesting start you have going here. The world building is good as are the characters. I’m looking forward to seeing where this story goes.

I'm happy that you're enjoying it so far. :twilightsmile:

I was inspired to write this by Ringcaat's The Pony Who Lived Upstairs, which I highly recommend if you haven't read it yet.

A writer isn't a creator, being "god" is too much of a responsibility for any mortal. No, a writer is a historian. 'tis about recording what happened, with as much fidelity as can be reasonably managed.

I do have to admit, this particular idea is one I've never liked in any HiE's just because of, well, this kind of stuff. Always plenty of interesting topics to write about other than existential dread and how cartoon writing fits into Equestria.
Reminds me of the canceled First Contact story where ponies come to Earth and bring magic with them, and the magic starts to make Earth work on story-telling clichés. Basically, everything starts to happen for a reason and peoples' lives start to play out like episodes of a show all across the globe.
Here's a story exploring two alien civilizations sharing thoughts and ideas while trying to communicate, and suddenly this stuff gets put out there that completely overshadows the thing people came for n the first place.
Guess we'll see how you take things from here.

Did you just reference the Travelling Pony Museum? :moustache: This is the first story I've read with this existential twist going on. I'm with Mainstay and the Venerable Ro 9467721 . I'd imagine the goings on of Equestria filtered through the dreams or imagination of the writers. The writers subconsciously pass along what they remember to the rest of us as best as possible.

Mainstay's reaction to Luna was pretty funny. No doubt Mary got a kick out of it too. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

Funny; I've had that story in my RIL list for some time now but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. Guess I'll have to rectify that soon.

She paused in the door and asked, "Are you going to clean that up?"
I grumbled, "I'll get a shovel."

Luna scared the shit out of him didn't she.

There isn't much more than this, really. It gets mentioned a few more times but this story is a romantic/drama/comedy that's a little sad in spots, perhaps, but not full of existential philosophising.

Umm... since I've never heard of the Travelling Pony Museum before: no. :twilightsheepish:

I noticed you changed the rating to from M to T. Any special reason why?

With a 'Teen' rating more people will be able to read it. There wasn't much explicit detail, in chapters that aren't published yet, so I rewrote them to make it acceptable for a teen audience... I hope.

Ooooh, the foreshadowing. Such yummy drama if she can wrestle it from Mr.Grumpyflanks. And there might yet be seaponies. Didn't they all migrate to that mountain? (I know, I'm mangling the lore but I'm too lazy to go google it for accurate data)

You know, even if a Storm King hits, would they even know being this far out in the boonies of Equestria? Heck, would even a Tirek level disaster register without days of delay for a newspaper to reach them?

Hmm. An interesting development. Also, Squall is a cutie.

Yeah, Smile Harbour doesn't hear about major events until days or even weeks after it's all over. By the time they found out about the whole "Nightmare Moon" thing they'd all but forgotten about the delayed sunrise.

Mainstay's reaction was probably something along the lines of; "Oh, so that's what that was?" shrugs and orders another pint of cider

The lore in this AU is a bit different from canon. If there is a Storm King he hasn't made his move yet and there'll be a bit more about seaponies in chapter eight.

You're doing good with Mainstay's characterization. You got me feeling bad for a stallion I wasn't caring to much for in the beginning. I'm looking forward to learning more about him and his two friends.

Some say if you approach the cave at midnight on a moonless night you can head their cursed song, "Shoobee doo, shoo shoo bee do..."

This far out in the boonies, I bet there's all sorts of fae, spirits, mystic sea serpents, and other myths besides seaponies and changelings. Old semi-isolated towns are the best place to find them.

Oh man, I was not prepared for those feels. Gods damnit, how'd the onion cutting ninjas get in here!
Good job on the lore. I'm I sucker for lore and world building.

Sailors steer their ships onto the rocks to escape such horrible 'music'. :pinkiecrazy:

Thank you. :twilightsmile: I'm happy to hear that the DRAMA wasn't too far over the top... I was worried it might come across as a little forced.

I scampered outside before either of them could object and galloped into the hills to work up a studly sweat.

If I was lucky, I might find some mud to roll in.

Why is he even bothering? They'll more than likely just throw him in the bath and scrub him down themselves.

nine more chapters to go.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :raritycry:

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?! :twilightsheepish:

So the gate was like the observation of a quantum dot? You can't tell what it is until you observe it, but then it's probability collapses.

But did the "new" episodes written in secret actually air? Maybe it took getting the story into the collected conscious of the viewers/fans to manifest it in Equestria? I'm glad Mary took Mainstay in. Sure he's "salty" but he's good ponies.

i can say this story is a vary good read and a hole barrow of fun.

Maybe. I didn't invest much thought into how the link between Equestria and Earth worked or how the Gate opening altered that relationship.

Oh, I'm sure they tried airing it. But only after at least a few humans learned about Equestria, so that may have influenced the outcome... heck, just the pones learning about Earth would have had some effect.

I'm happy that you're enjoying it! :twilightsmile:

Dang mares always ganging up on a brother! :rainbowlaugh:
Probably just as well he doesn't live in Ponyville, he'd never get any respite.

It's interesting that the Princesses consider the camera dumb. Maybe they're referring to it's networking capabilities? Tho most modern cameras, at least the higher end ones, tend to have it built in so you can take 4K shots without repeatedly swapping memory cards in addition to using remote devices.

p.s. I do wonder about the state of large screen entertainment in Equestria. They seem to be on the cusp of color movies but there's that magic to figure in. Imagine true 3-D, like holograms, no need for clunky glasses. I'm still certain the ponies would be blown away from IMAX... and the outrageous concession stand prices. Heh.

I see where this is going.

crystal wishes pre-read? neat!

I love this fic. I know I have said this already but you are incredibly talented and this story is truly special to me.

A nice comfy, snuggly chapter. So, do the ponies of Marelorca speak Castallion? :trollestia: Thanks for the update. I look forward to reading the next one.

The princesses (and other ponies) would only have a general idea of how our heavily computer-driven tech works, focusing mostly on what they do rather than how they do it: "It takes photos? Okay, we have our own machines that do that already." The devices they allow are 'dumb' in that they're not general-purpose 'thinking machines' that can be programmed to do whatever one wishes. Computers are certainly banned, for now, and general-purpose AI will probably never be allowed.

<.< >.>

(Shhh... don't tell Mainstay.)

Thank you! :twilightsmile:

And thank you again for pre-reading for me. I think you'll recognize a sequence your critique encouraged me to write in the next chapter.


do the ponies of Marelorca speak Castallion?

They do now! :pinkiehappy:

Yup! She was very patient with me dumping revision after revision on her before I finally called it "good" and started publishing. (And I'm still investing hours into revising every chapter before it goes up!)

Heh, that was a fun chapter. As for swear words, I bet even aliens have them. It's universal concept across the stars! :rainbowlaugh:

Too bad she couldn't get a laptop or phone past the tech embargo, George Carlin could educate the ponies on the most useful word in the English language.

I wonder, what about TVs and video players? Game consoles? Would Equestria be interested in our advanced "green" energy producing tech like solar and wind? They might also go for the kinetic stuff too like wave/tide generators since I don't see too much development going on off the coasts. I know it's never looked at in the show but some fics ponder the ways to convert electricity to/from magic, as well as storage and transport. Magic could be the "super conductor" we've been looking for to transport electricity over vast distances with no loss, although it'd be an Equestria-only tech. It'd be humbling if the ponies took green tech like that and ran with it, outpacing us at our own game; like coming up with more efficient solar panels and novel ways of generating power in tune with the environment.

a fun chapter i like it.

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