Munching Rainbows

by Frozen

Cloudy with a chance of parasprites

The doorknob shone in a purple aura as Twilight closed the library's door behind her. A chilling breeze picked up and pushed against her coat, sending goosebumps up her neck. Now that the sun had set the streets were abandoned except for some earth ponies sweeping dirt off the pavement into the gutters, humming an old song road sweeper’s song in the rhythm of their work.

The librarian took her bearings, planning for the shortest route to the Sugar Cube Corner. She loosened a strap on her saddle and pulled it a bit more to her lower neck, protecting herself against the evenings breeze. Her ears twitched as she heard Rainbow Dash’s voice rasping around a corner.

“Stop talking behind my back!” The pegasus chided, after turning around towards Applejack.

“I’m just sayin’, perhaps...” The earth ponies voice cut out, but her lips kept forming words that Twilight couldn’t make sense of even though she had only recently joined a speech-readers class, after her curiosity had been spiked by a scientific publication that discussed lip-reading and it’s effects on retentiveness while gathering knowledge from books.

“Not falling for that one anymore, element of honesty! Don’t forget, my other senses are way more awesome right now. My feathers are so sensitive, they pick up on the slightest air turbulence.” Rainbow Dash’s eyes bugged out as she realized what she just revealed to Applejack. A blink of an eye later, the countrymare howled directly at the grounded pegasus mares wings.

“That’s a mighty useful ain’t it Dash?!” Applejack’s voice, trained by years of yelling commands to Winona while driving cattle, broke against the mares blue feathers, dishevelling them.

“Unngh...”

The pegasuses reflexes took over, assuming that there must be an oncoming storm that it’s host needed to brace itself against. Rainbow Dash easily doubled her size by involuntary fluffing up her coat and wings as her expression raised to another level of annoyance.

“Hey girls, Big Macintosh!” Twilight greeted the group. “Where are you going?”

“Well, we’re followin’ Frostbite McDeaferson here. She told us ‘bout a meetup at the Corner, you’re commin’ too?” Applejack would have been turned to stone, if her eyes had met the blue pegasus standing behind her.

“Yes, the princess letter seemed very urgent. Do you think she assembles the elements of harmony to do something about that swarm?” Using the elements powers to fight off the parasprites seemed a little drastic to her.

Noticing Twilights concern about using this kind of force against the parasprites made Applejack panic.

“I don’t know Twi, right now I couldn't sleep well even if that princess of our’s banished ‘em to the buckin’ moon. You haven’t seen yet what they’re capable of doin’.” Applejacks face took on a stern look. “They savaged some o’ my oldest trees, munched ‘em up from twig to root. Heck, they even chowed down on my fertile soil! Gimme a pair o’ wings an’ I’d be off buckin’ em into the stone age before ya’ll could count to three!” The earth pony’s scrunched blonde tail whipped around with her words, revealing how much thirst for action she had.

They moved along in silence, accompanied only by the sound of their hooves that echoed through the streets.

Twilight lead the group into the dead end behind the Sugar Cube Corner, where they were expected at the delivery entrance. The darkness behind the Sugar Cube Corner gave the term ‘blind end’ a whole new dimension.

Suddenly the ancient iron gate creaked closed behind them. Right after the gate had latched with a metallic clunk, Twilight and her friends were bathed in almost blinding light, focused at them from the surrounding rooftops.

“HALT!” A deep voice shot down at them. “You are surrounded by the royal guard and will obey any orders or face us in a fight to the death!” The voice proclaimed.

“Uh... Ok, so... umm do you need to see an invitation?” Twilight levitated Celestia's letter out of her saddlebag.

“Contact!” A slightly younger voice rang out over their heads from the far left. The crackling discharge of a unicorn’s horn lit up the parchment turning it into little embers.

The same voice gave a startled yelp. “Hold your fire, silly!” Pinkies voice seemed to come out of the same direction.

“We need everypony to comb their mane for parasprites.” The party pony explained.

“An’ you had t’ kettle us because o’ that?” Applejack chided the element of laughter.

“You will submit to any precautionary measures that have been put into place or we will assume that you are collaborating with the elements threatening Ponyville!” The deep voice of a royal guardian rendered Pinkie’s explanation inaudible.

“Pinkieeeee... Why do I think that you’ve set off this insanity?” Twilight squinted to find the pink earth pony.

*CRASH*

Pinkies head poked out of a bunch of stacked up crates. “I wrote to the princess, but since I don’t normally do that I used your dictionary...”

“What’d ya’ write? Spill!” Applejack wasn’t inclined to remove her scrunchies because getting them out always involved the inadvertent plucking of some of her hairs, which was especially agonizing with her tail.

“I wanted to adapt ‘sneaky meanie pants’ to something more … so-filly-cated.” Twilight face hoofed at the possible outcome of this. “So I came up with ‘guerrilla threat’ and obviously that’s what the silly tin-ponies are freaking out about now.” She pointed a hoof at an ironclad guard that was perched on the rooftop across from her.

“Allow me to clarify the origin of our orders. Princess Luna has commanded us to guard her sister after discussing Miss Pinkie’s letter with Celestia. Now please, do as you are ordered.” The voice that had initially greeted them explained calmly.

“I saw one of them, Twilight, you have to believe me! Those aren’t the gullible little parasprites we used to know, that one hid in Derpy’s mane and mocked me not to mention that it ruined a perfectly good gramophone.” Pinkie had crawled out of the partly smashed remains of the crate now and walked up to Twilight.

Although the blue pegasus couldn’t understand any word they spoke, she felt that she had to stand up for Pinkie. Deducing from pink ponies gestures towards the pile of brushes, she thought that the holdup was about brushing their mane for parasprites that liked to hide in the mane of unknowing ponies. She stepped up to the choice of coat and mane brushes and picked one up, before handing it over to the random party pony.

“Hmpf! Urrrghhh....” Pinkie Pie stopped brushing the multi colored pegasus tail when she heard the pegasus panting, blushing a little bit. “Oh... I didn’t mean to... tickle you in that way...”

The pegasus dropped to her knees and continued making ratcheting sounds, her surroundings becoming blurry again. Big Macintosh was the first to realize that Rainbow Dash was choking on something and wrapped his forelegs around her ribcage before rearing up, lifting the pegasus off the ground and pushing against her abdomen a few times. The stallions last thrust sent a little ochre slimeball with blue polka dots flying towards Applejack, that barely dodged it.

“I sense a party coming up! We can have a paaaaaartaaaayyyy for the new couple in town! Uhh... and I’m feeling awkward silence in the near future...” The pink earth pony exclaimed as her mane seemed to vibrate in anticipation of party planning.

“Doesn’t surprise me that she’s into that kind of stuff, but in front of other ponies... Sheesh, get a shed right?” Pinkie Pie whispered to Twilight, conspiratorially winking at her.

Twilight raised an eyebrow at her and started brushing her purple mane with a comb she summoned from the pile next to the entrance to the Sugar Cube corner.

“Uhhh... it’s near... All silencie and akwardie!” Pinkie was very fond of her senses.

“Pinkie Pie! It’s inappropriate to share such assumptions with anypony. You of all ponies should know.” The lavender mares mind echoed with the Pinkie Pie trademark threat ‘FOREVER!’

“Besides the compromising looks of Big Macintosh’s actions, he probably saved her from choking. That was the Heimlich Maneuver, right?” Twilight sounded a bit more unsure than she realized.

“Sure as wheat grows t’wards the sun! What else would it be, it’s not like you could confu... oh... OOOhhh!” Big Macintosh fell silent and cleared his throat. “Y’all got a dirty mind and should be ‘shamed for ‘magin’ her in such a scenario.” The red stallion judged the surrounding ponies, successfully distracting them from a faint blush that had built up on his own face.

“Aaand it’s happening right now!” The element of laughter exclaimed right before the minute of awkward silence and stares began. Rainbow Dash tilted her head while grinning at the red stallion, blushing heavily.

“Look, there!” Dashies voice croaked as she recovered from the lack of oxygen, leaning on Applejack’s brother, one wing stretched out to point to where the ochre slime ball had landed. She found that the recently expelled parasprite near Applejack made for a good diversion.

The ochre lump with blue dots blinked its huge eyes as it shook off some remaining ochre silme before translucent and wrinkled wings sprouted from its sides, vivant colours slowly coming to live in them. Batting it’s new wings the parasprite staggered towards Applejack and perched itself on her back.

Applejack looked at the creature on her back and felt it’s little claws clamping down on her coat, tickling her a little bit.

The damp parasprite shivered and slowly closed its eyes, right before it slumped off her back, hitting the ground with a wet clack. Applejack stared at the unmoving creature at her hooves, her despite of these creatures was gone and she was left with the realization that the parasprites had the same right to live as any creature in Equestria.

“Everypony step away from that creature and the contaminated blue pegasus, decontamination will commence!” The voice from the far left commanded. Rainbow Dash didn’t react, but Applejack made up for that.

“Ya’ better rethink that or I’ll buck your horn so hard you’ll be pickin’ pieces out of your butt for weeks.” Applejack shoved herself in front of Rainbow Dash, taking a protective stance. She looked over to the little ochre slump that had dropped off her back as it was engulfed in bright blue and green flames.

“What’s is all this commotion about?” Celestia’s luminescent mane shone in the doorframe of the Sugar Cube Corner as she stomped a gold shod hoof on the pavement, calling for order around her.

“Shield the princess!” The commanding pegasus shouted out. Three heavily armored pegasi leaped down around the princess spreading their armored wings to protect Celestia.

“Call off yer’ dogs will ya?!” Applejack barked at the princess.

The majestic alicorn closed her eyes as her horn lit up with magic. One by one she teleported the guardians appointed by her sister back to the castle.

“I’m sorry about my overprotective sister. Come in every pony and tell me about what you discovered on these parasprites.” Celestia turned and moved back into the Sugar Cube Corners kitchen.

Big Macintosh moved towards the entrance and was stopped by Pinkie Pie that had darted into the doorframe, blocking the way for him. The pink earth pony glared at the red stallion, grabbing a brush of the pile without losing her fix on him. “Brushie. Brushie.” She poked him in his chest with the handle.

***

Inside, Celestia had taken a seat at the head of a table for eight, to her right sat Applejack, then Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom. On her left Twilight settled down onto a comfy chair, right next to Rainbow Dash. The table was brimming with pies and sweets, most of them were still warm from the oven.

“Pinkie Pie, you said there would be cake, but I didn’t think there would be such an abundance of it here. I hope you didn’t just bake because of my visit!” The ruler of Equestria gingerly sniffed some of the creations that were in her reach, taking in their enticing smells.

“Silly Celi, you don’t know how I get when I’m upset... I just have to knead dough, or I drive myself crazy doing nothing.” Pinkie weaved a hoof at Celestia’s concerns.

The alicorn looked pleased at the casual way Pinkie Pie addressed her.

“Daffodil Tea?” Pinkie Pie asked across the table, holding up a pot of tea. She moved around the table, filling anyponies cups and recounted her latest confrontation with the parasprites.

“Fascinating. The parasprites we are dealing with have evolved, but what could possibly force them to develop the capability of near supersonic flight?” Twilight thought out loud, launching into a small discourse on how any evolution occurs because of biologic or environmental pressure the lifeform has to adapt to.

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight and tried to suppress the throbbing sounds in her ear to filter out her voice but her effort was of no avail. She felt that her head seemed to gain weight, like always when she was bored. The nearly deaf pegasus cut Twilight’s comments on evolution short by clearing her throat. “Yeah, enough with the egghead-talk. We’ve got to do something about those beasts, before we all end up taking meds only to stop spewing slimeballs at each other’s heads.”

Celestia suppressed her urge to cough with a napkin after swallowing up on her tea, startled by Rainbow Dash’s unexpectedly loud voice.

“Oh, I’m mighty sorry princess,” Applejack apologized. “I should’ve warned ya’ll ‘bout Dashie’s tempo... tempotally... temporaill... Aww Shucks! She can’t hear ya at the moment, we all hope that she’ll get better soon.” The countrymare was embarrassed as she noticed Pinkie Pie raising an eyebrow at her.

Celestia nodded and her horn started glowing. The blue pegasuses ears twitched in different directions as the princesses magic spread inside her inner ear. The throbbing sounds slowly faded out, so did the whining sound she had heard now and then. “This should do for awhile.”

Rainbow Dash could finally hear her surroundings again and let out a joyous yelp.

“Now, what did you say about spewing slime?” Celestia asked.

“Aw it’s nothing. Just some parasprite eggs in my stomachs.” Rainbow Dash did her best to seem unaffected by the fact that there were parasprites growing inside her stomach. She didn’t want to show any weakness in front of Celestia.

“This is it!” Twilight exclaimed. “Princess, I think I know what caused all the damage around Ponyville that night!”

“Yeahhh about that...” Rainbow Dash scratched her mane, feeling a sore spot under her coat, right where she had landed earlier that day. “I might be responsible for that one.”

Twilight came to the pegasuses defense. “It’s alright, you were affected by some psychoactive component that the parasprites use to make you collect the needed nutrients for their offspring, kind of like a symbiotic partnership.”

“Eh... whatevs’, only a couple of hours left and that’s over.” Rainbow Dash grabbed a piece of key lime pie and stuffed it in her maw, freezing in mid chew. “Excuwve me, orgot aout thatw for aw mowment...” The pegasus said with a her mouth full of cake. She ran off to the bathroom, struggling to hold in the putrid substance that she had expected to be creamy refreshing.

Pinkie Pies mane deflated with a squeak, falling straight down her face like her hairs had been fitted with plumb-bobs. “She can’t taste my cake anymore?” Her bright blue eyes welled up with tears for her friend.

“Don’t worry, that’s probably a side effect of the parasprites encouragement to change her eating habits.” The librarian explained to the devastated earth pony. Her statement was punctuated by repeated gargling sounds produced by the pegasus that rinsed her mouth with water.

“So what are we gonna do ‘bout these creatures? I don’t think that we can just sit them down and talk to them...” Apple Bloom offered.

The room grew darker as shadows spread from the farthest corner like a dark shroud that descended upon the hind section of the room. “Good evening my loyal subjects! Sister, we see thou are concerned, let us propose a plan of battle...” The dark blue alicorn stepped out of the shadows, her hooves making almost no noise as if she hovered just an inch above the ground.

“Quick Twi, ya’ know tha drill - brush ma’ mane ‘fore somepony freaks out ‘n’ incinerates somepony...” The orange mare with the cowboy hat glared daggers at Luna while she voiced her sarcastic comment.

“Come on girls, I’m sure Luna just did what she thought was best for her sisters safety! I’m positive she’s got a great plan to share...” Twilight looked pleading towards the earth pony, that still was sceptical about the princess of the night.

Celestia’s sister nodded to the unicorn to her left. The unicorn guard stepped forward and recited the plan in a sharp military intonation.

“First priority of our approach is the containment of the airborne threat. Our plan provides that a shield will be cast around the evacuated area. We assume that our opponent might be using the environment to hide from us. This danger will be neutralized by including up to ten feet of ground beneath them into the barrier.” The unicorn stepped back looking over to his right, where the pegasus guard stepped forward.

“The fifth pegasus squadron will enter the zone and lead the first strike against the parasprite threat. We are prepared to use necessary force and armament to break any resistance against reallocation.”

“I heard enough!” Celestia pounded a hoof on the table. “There will be no violence against any being in my kingdom, and you know that Luna! I am truly disappointed that you would relapse to this again.”

“Only thing I’d agree with ya’ll is corrallin’ those animals to move ‘em someplace else might be reasonable. But they’re too damn fast for Winona an’ myself. If only we’d know how to lure ‘em away...” Applejack scratched her chin, thinking back to the time she had to get rid of a horde of bunnies that had invaded her lettuce plantage. Carrot Top had helped her out to lure them away with a trail of her finest vegetables.

Rainbow Dash returned from the bathroom, where she had overheard Applejack’s comment on Luna’s plan. “Well this pegasus can help you with that.” The blue pegasus took a heroic pose.

“Great Rainbow Dash, but we need to be able to steer them with our bait. It won’t do us any good if we just serve them a nice treat. We need to be able to lure them away or something, they’ll easily catch up to us and then we’re at square one...” Twilight’s mind struggled to come up with a solution for this problem.

“Well, Granny Smith has a sayin’ that could help us.” Applejack pushed herself off the chair, preparing to run from an angry pegasus. “Notin’ slower than a walkin’ pegasus.” She glanced over to Rainbow Dash and found that she exercised restraint in the presence of royalty. The blue mare gave a sly smirk and communicated her message with a few gestures, going through the motions like she had somepony in a stranglehold while roughing up their presumably blonde mane.

The unicorn guard stepped forward again, clearing his throat to gain everyponies attention. “The royal guard’s arsenal has several magic agents at it’s disposal, ranging from permanent to reversible prevention from flight. I would suggest that we deploy this before engaging the threat.”

“An’ how did ya’ intend ta get that stuff on ‘em?” Applejack asked pointedly, seeing a big hole in the suggested plan.

“Simple. We have trained personnel that will engage the enemy in close combat, ensuring the correct distribution of the agent of choice.” The pegasus answered her question coldly.

“But won’t they expose themselves to that stuff?” Twilight feared that she knew the answer.

“This is an acceptable risk of combat. The Cloudsdale legions have sworn allegiance to Equestria and it’s rulers, acknowledging that their duty might put them in dangerous situations.” Luna’s pegasus guard swelled with pride.

“Ooorrr you could stop being such a numbnut brute and start acting like a smart cookie!” Pinkie Pie interjected casually, leaning on a crate she just pushed it. She knocked on it’s side, sending the front panel of the crate falling over on the ground, revealing a saddle with several tubes and wires strapped to it.

“What in tarnation’s that s’posed to be?” The orange mare voiced her cluelessness.

“AWESOME! That’s the kit they tested in Wonderbolt’s Monthly, right?” Rainbow Dash recognized the equipment from a fan magazine she had subscribed to.

“With slight modifications, yes.” Pinkie Pie picked up a hoof full of bolts and screws. “I put it together all by myself and improved the design.” The earth pony explained. “I’m sure that those were just spares, in case some silly pony lost a screw or ten.” She muttered under her breath. “It even came with a certificate!”

Twilight levitated the thin parchment and read the document. “Pinkie, it says that you must refrain from any legal actions against the manufacturer.”

“Duh! Why would I sue myself?” Pinkie weaved a hoof and giggled at the silly remark of her unicorn friend.

The pegasus guard looked at the saddle and stepped back and nodded approvingly. “This can be fitted with a standard mount for tactical purposes.”

“Ok, so now we’ve got ‘em on the ground an’ hopefully under control. What’s next?” Apple Bloom asked between bites of a muffin.

“I know I’ll regret this but... Twi, tell us where the parasprites originally came from.” Rainbow Dash prepared herself for an hour long, excruciatingly boring lecture on the origin of the parasprites.

***

The next morning they met up on a grass field, right next to the orchard. The parasprite swarm had drifted a little closer to the farm and hovered just above the tree crowns.

“Are you sure that you can take them on?” Rainbow Dash asked Pinkie Pie. “It’s really windy up there.” She knew how dangerous turbulences were from first hoof experiences.

“Ok Pinkie, I think you’re all set. Remember, open the pressurized canister only a second before you enter the swarm and circle mostly above it for full effect.” Twilight instructed the party pony.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” The pink mare was all but nervous.

“A last check then... All straps secured?” Twilight read of her checklist.

“Check, Check and double check!” Pinkie Pie had nipped at every strap that secured the saddle to her back.

“Pulls for nozzle adjustment fixed to hind hooves?”

“A bit tight, but better than loose. Check!”

“Emergency chute and rocket separation cord in reach of your maw?”

“Wait... ehh... thatch ah scheck!” Pinkie Pie tugged lightly at the release handle that would separate the rocket from her saddle and engage the parachute in case of an emergency.

“Tail fireproofed?” Twilight inspected the bunched up tail, that had been wrapped up in dark fireproof material. “Check.”

“You’re clear to switch the safety off and prepare for lift off!” Twilight informed Pinkie.

The earth pony lifted her left hoof and flipped up the cover, exposing a big red button labeled ‘Go pony, go!’. She positioned herself as if she intended to jump up on a box in front of her and felt the increasing vibrations of the igniting rocket as the exhaust continuously pushed harder, negating her weight. Finally, the pre launch stage of the rocket burned out and the pink pony was propelled through the air.

“Weeeee.....” Pinkie Pie’s voice faded quickly as Twilight and Rainbow Dash lost track of the party pony for a moment while moving out of the smoke around them.

Twilight’s eyes followed the rocket’s contrail that headed towards the swarm.

Pinkie had reached the swarm and circled a bit too high above it, looking down into the eye of the storm. The parasprites seemed to chase each other for no reason, generating a violent updraft that had launched the airborne earth pony into these heights.

Pling!

That was her signal to get down into the swarm. A mechanism on the rocket signaled that half of the fuel had been consumed which meant that the generated thrust would degrade soon, making it more maneuverable. She stretched her hind hooves out, creating more drag and adjusting the nozzle to push her down. Finally she opened the valve of the pressurized container, releasing her payload into the swarm below her.

The parasprites reacted startled at first, breaking their formation, but it was too late for them to escape, because the turbulences inside the swarm effectively distributed the magical potion very quick.

“Ha, they’re startin’ to land. Great work Pinkie!” Applejack was pleased with the shrinking swarm of parasprites. They instinctively set down on the ground to prevent a crash landing, knowing that something was wrong.

Pinkie pulled the release and the rocket was separated itself from the saddle, plummeting towards the ground. The parachute deployed and took her for a scenic flight above the orchard.

“Mission accomplished, Pinkie Pie saves the day. Oh gosh, Applejack will be so thankful... Uhh all that cider for free...hmmmm...” The mare enjoyed the breeze as she neared a clearing where she would land safely.

***

“Uhh Twilight, weren’t they s’posed to land ‘round here? I can’t corral them if I can’t see ‘em...” Applejack was followed by Winnona and Twilight as well as some pegasus guards and family members.

“Perhaps the perspective has played a trick on us. Maybe they are...” Twilight fell silent as she turned towards her right.

“...that way...” Her eyes widened as she saw a shimmering wall splashing through the alleys of the apple trees.

The horde that rushed their way was so dense that it compressed the air in front of it, hitting Twilight with debris of all kind. She pressed her eyes closed and braced herself against the gusting wind, casting a shield spell around her group.

Suddenly everything fell quiet around them.

The daylight that had filtered through the trees was tinted by the lavender tone of the unicorns magic, but that light faded away quickly as more and more parasprites clinged onto the shield.

“Everypony all right?” Applejack asked, checking herself for bruises.

Everypony else gave some kind of feedback, nopony was hurt.

“Oh we’re in trouble, ain’t we Twi?” The countrymare was reminded of the day she had woken up to a cattle stampede that headed towards her. Now they were trapped beneath what seemed to be an agitated swarm of earthbound parasprites.

“At least … they're not … attacking the shield …” The glow surrounding Twilight's horn increased in intensity, as beads of sweat formed on her head. “It’s only the weight that’ll crush us, if my spell breaks.” The purple unicorn broke into gasping breathing as she channeled more magic into her spell.

Applejack took her hat off and started fanning some air around her friends head.

“An’ what are we gonna do now?” Applejack tried to make out how the other ponies around her were doing, but she didn’t meet any eyes. Altogether they stared at the massive mound of parasprites that had piled itself above them.

“We cry for help. Everypony, plug your ears!” Twilight set herself down on her behind, freeing her own hooves to shield herself from the noise she expected.

“Huh? Ya’ sure somepony’s gonna hear us through all that buzzin’?”

“Don’t know - don’t care.” The librarian wasn’t in the mood to discuss her plan and plugged her ears with both forelegs.

Her horn started spraying sparkles as she took a deep breath, somehow shrinking the magic bubble around then which pushed the some pegasi that were sitting right next to the magical barrier closer to the center.

Twilight began reciting her cry for help, broadcasting it using the shield as a membrane of a giant speaker, pulsating it at the frequency of her voice.

“Follow my voice! Five ponies and a dog stuck beneath parasprites! We don’t have much oxygen left and my shield will collapse soon. Help us!”

The message repeated itself as Twilight concentrated on, sending the needed pulses through the shield.

“And now we wait. Everypony please lay down and try calm down. We need to conserve air.” The librarian instructed the ponies accompanying her.