Chapter 1 - Boot Camp Beatdown I
“I am Sergeant First Class Hard Knock, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when I tell you to, you will act as instructed and you will start and end all your sentences with ‘ma’am’. do you understand!” Our drill instructor said, slowly walking in front of us recruits as she did.
Naturally, we all responded with a “Ma’am, Yes, ma’am!” from the top of our lungs.
I really didn’t expect us to make the entire trip to Ponyville to be that fast, but here I am. Just last night I was a criminal awaiting my trial only to be offered a second chance by the same fucking snitch that ratted us out. Now I’m in some damn barracks at a stone fort sitting in the outskirts of town.
They just dropped me on the ground in front of the fort and a lieutenant picked me up. The officer told me it’s been a while since they’ve gotten one of my kind and that I arrived just in time. The new batch of initiates had just arrived earlier that morning.
The training staff at Fort Applebuck is gonna be busy for the next three months.
There I was standing in my recruit uniform with a black eye and a bandaged nose from last night’s interview. All around me are my fellow recruits, about forty of them, who looked like they’d fit in the filly scouts better than the guard, they were all so young.
I reckon they were all either between 15 to 18 and have decided to quit their schools or colleges for an adventure of a lifetime within the guard. These bastards are in for a surprise.
“By the time you leave this camp you will be a machine! You will ascend to a greater state of being, you will be a dispenser of justice, and ponies will look up to you. You will be the best fighting force in the arsenal of her highness. But until then you are trash, you are the lowest form of life, you are not even fucking equines! You are all nothing but unorganized and undisciplined pieces of plebian shit!”
I looked at the drill instructor walking down on a row of recruits on the other side, doing my best to hide the fact that I am eyeballing her.
This was not my first tango with her kind. I met a drill sergeant during my brief time at army boot camp when I used to be like some of these young faggots. Back when I was once a gullible patriot who thought army service was the right thing to do.
That was until I learned that honest work won’t get you anything in life.
“I am not an easy mare, I am hard. You will hate me because of this, but the more you all hate me the stronger you will all become! I am hard, but I am unbiased. I do not look down on mudponies, featherbrains and nocturnal abominations! Here you are all equally worthless! My job is to weed out the weak and those who aren’t fit to serve the guard. Do you scumbags understand that!?”
“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!”
The drill instructor then proceeded to approach random cadets, ask them their name, and throw some really clever insults. In my opinion, this is by far the most entertaining part of boot camp.
“What’s your name, initiate?!” She asked, staring down at a Thesrtal mare. The bat pony had an unusual color pallet for a pony whose race is notorious for their gloomy coloration. She had a pastel yellow coat and a bright pink mane that’d really make her stand out if she was with her people.
“Ma’am, Dusty Dusks, ma’am!” she answered with a tone that was stern as a rock yet as soft as cotton.
“I can’t hear you, initiate!” the sergeant screamed at the Thestral. “What is your name?”
“Ma’am, Dusty Dusks, ma’am!” she said again, a little bit louder this time.
“Bullshit. From now on you’re, Initiate Cum-sucker! Do you like that name?”
Well that was a bit unexpected. But then again, this is a royal guard drill instructor and not an army drill sergeant.
The Thestral paused for a while and she looked like she was about to flip out.
If she does, she’s fucked.
“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” She answered without any sign of hesitation. But let’s be honest here, she secretly fucking hates that name.
“Well there’s something you won’t like, Cum-sucker. They don’t serve mangoes and little foals in my mess hall on a daily basis.”
Ah yes, the classic ‘Behave or the Bat Ponies will eat you!’ lie parents use to scare their children into behaving. And ponies wonder why the Thestral Colonies are so damn xenophobic.
I gotta give it to the filly, she’s a lot tougher than she looks. I honestly thought she’d be the type of mare to break down and cry if you looked at her in a mean way. But no, she’s handling this all pretty well.
Satisfied at tormenting the mare, the drill instructor began walking over to the next pony.
It was a unicorn stallion this time. The pony had a light blue coat, a dark blue mane with yellow lightning sparks and green eyes. Judging from the color pattern of his mane and his cutie mark which were two lightning bolts arranged perpendicularly, I assumed he specialized in lightning magic.
His lanky frame towered over the drill intructor who had to look up. “Well, well, well. I didn’t know they stacked shit this high!” she commented sounding rather impressed. “What’s your name, initiate?!”
“Ma’am, Spark Streak, ma’am!” the unicorn shouted in reply.
“You’re too tall for a Spark, initiate! From now on you’re, Canopy,” she declared. “Where’re you from, Initiate Canopy?!”
“Ma’am, Canterlot, ma’am!”
“Canterlot! Only queers and nobles come from that place and you sure don’t look like a noble to me,” she replied. “Do you suck dick, initiate?”
“Ma’am, if the guard requires me to do it, ma’am!”
Now that’s what I call a solid answer.
“Keep up that attitude and we’ll get along just fine, Canopy!”
And so the vicious cycle of abuse and profanity continued. I tried hard not to laugh as the drill instructor went about being as comical as she can be while throwing insults at the fragile looking stallions and mares.
I moved my eyes to scan the faces of the other trainees. Most of them were displaying signs of fear and stress while, some were biting their lips in an attempt to stop themselves from laughing and a rare few looked pissed at the drill instructor.
I of course, found this whole thing funny. But only because I wasn’t the one on the receiving end of the sergeant’s swagger stick.
Then all of the sudden the drill instructor stopped shouting and screaming. I moved my eyes to check on her only to be met by the stern gaze of the drill instructor.
“Are you eyeballing me, initiate!?”
Now for those of you who don’t know, eyeballing is the second most insulting thing you can do to a drill instructor. The first one being sneaking out of the camp, going to his house and fucking his little sister.
I know this because I did both back then. That was also the reason why I was kicked out of army boot camp. In my defense, we were young, stupid, and in love. Plus she really did ask for me to do it.
“Ma’am, Yes ma’am!” I answered, reverting back to my old position. There was no use lying to a drill instructor, especially if they know the truth. The best thing one could do is to just bear with it and hope your eardrums don’t shatter.
“You, son of a bitch!” the drill instructor walked angrily towards me. I felt sweat run down my face as those hoofsteps got louder and louder.
When she finally reached me, I was standing still trying my best not to make eye contact with the angry bull of a unicorn mare glaring at me. “What is your name, initiate!?” she screamed at me, her saliva flying into my face. “And what in the goddamn happened to your face!?”
“Ma’am, my name’s Cloud Clipper ma’am!” I answered, forcing myself to shout as loud as I can. “Ma’am, I had a run in with Harmony Guard recruiters last night, ma’am!”
“Oh! So you’re the scumbag they decided to send to my beloved guard!” the sergeant screamed. I actually had to close my eyes to prevent his spit from getting into it. “Listen here, Scoundrel! If I see you eyeballing me again, I will gouge your fucking eyes out and I will skullfuck you with my horn! Do you understand!”
“Ma’am, Yes, ma’am!” I answered, taking her warning seriously.
“And I’ll have you know that I do not go easy on you scoundrels!” she screamed immediately after I finished. “Your kind does not belong here!! You do not deserve to be here! And if it weren’t for the brass letting the likes of you in, I would’ve hung you all on the tallest tree in Ponyville!”
“I will break you, initiate! I will break you so damn hard you will wish you could just crawl back up your mother’s birth canal! Do you understand!?”
“Ma’am, Challenge accepted, ma’am!” I answered, knowing full well I’m going to get another smack into my already battered face.
“Outstanding, initiate!” the drill instructor shouted before delivering a hard jab into my chest.
I knelt on the ground and dry heaved, Sweet Celestia that punch hurts. It wasn’t just hard, it also managed to hit a sweet spot that made my legs tremble in pain.
“Stand up, initiate!”
And stand up I did, as if nothing happened to me. The drill instructor shot a mean look at me before marching off to harass the other recruits.
I already hate this bitch a lot. But that was good thing, for her at least. Hating a drill instructor was a clear sign that she’s performing her role well.
“Alright scumbags! Move out and form a line outside, we’re going for a run!” she commanded while signaling the assistant drill instructor who was standing beside the entrance to the barracks.
The drill instructor wasn’t joking when she said she’ll brake me. My back already felt like it had been broken several different ways since we started the morning jog.
Was it because I am a wimp?
No.
It was because the bitch chained a pair of heavy barbell weights on my back. The damn bastard really wanted me to feel like a convict. So much so that she also instructed the assistant drill instructor to throw a bucket of orange paint at me, to make my trainee fatigues look like a prisoner uniform.
So there I was, running under the scorching sun covered in sweat and orange paint while dragging that damned dead weight. It was a surprise to everypony how I still managed to run despite of this.
Still, I was starting to lag behind, but that was just because of the weights limiting my speed. I still have a lot of stamina thanks to all those years of running away carrying heavy cargo while escaping the authorities.
The route we were taking was a simple run from the fort going to the outskirts of Ponyville before heading back. From the looks of it, I’d be able to complete this run without collapsing from exhaustion.
Somehow, even though I was behind the entire group of recruits, I still managed to hear the insults, racial slurs and profanity coming out of our drill instructor’s dirty mouth. By this time, she had already began calling us by the nicknames she made up while berating us a while ago.
Some of the one’s I could remember include Cum-sucker for Initiate Dusty Dusks, Canopy for Initiate Spark Streak and for obvious reasons, she calls me Scoundrel after my previous occupation.
“Move, Initiate Scoundrel?!” I heard the sergeant shout from the head of the troop. “How are you gonna run away from the LAW if you can’t even catch up with the rest of these scumbags?!”
“Just wait till I get these chains off,” I mumbled.
For some reason, the sergeant had the assistant drill instructor position himself about ten meters behind the main group and whack anypony who lags behind too much with a baseball bat. He then had his assistant carve the word “LAW” on the weapon.
So essentially, we were all running away from the LAW. It sounded like a clever joke until you realize I was the only pony who enlisted to avoid jail time. She never really thought that one out through, didn’t she?
But then again this might be because she expects me, the only pony carrying weights, to be the one that lags behind. She was mistaken.
“Goddamn it, Initiate Canopy! Move your fucking ass!” The drill instructor shouted while running backwards, how she managed to do that I still haven’t figured out.
I watched as the lanky Initiate Canopy slowly moved to the rearmost rank of recruits. The poor thing looked like he was about to fall from exhaustion.
“You're slower than a slug on Valium, Initiate Canopy!” she shouted. “My stroked granpa can run faster than your sorry ass!”
The kid was really trying his best, but he just kept becoming slower and slower. At this rate his ass would get beaten so bad he might as well be an eggplant since we haven’t even completed a third of the route we were taking.
Eventually, the sergeant gave up and moved on to insult others, leaving the two of us to the mercy of the assistant drill instructor’s club.
I took a quick peek and saw that he was still a fair distance away from us. Then I looked to my side and saw Canopy who is failing at his attempts to catch up with the rest since he was now as far away from them as I am.
The tall Unicorn was clearly eyeballing me. Not that I mind, I just found the look on his face quite funny. It was a mixture of disappointment and disbelief that was further enhanced by his fatigued expression, tongue out and all that. Probably because he was now as slow as a pony carrying 60kg of weight.
For some reason, I decided to spoilt this fucker’s day. I turned my head to him and stared blankly, before I sped up ever so slowly while maintaining eye contact until I was now at the rearmost part of the troop.
While I was doing this, the drill instructor unknowingly spiced things up. “The last one at the finish line we’ll be cleaning every toilet bowl in the Fort for an entire week.”
A mischievous smile crept across my face as the tall lad suddenly sprinted, catching up to me a couple of seconds later. Canopy then stared at me and we were locked eye to eye.
I could see the determination in this kid’s eyes. It was brighter than my future.
The race was on.
For some reason, this had been a successful day for me, much to my disbelief.
Even though me and Canopy were on the rear end, we somehow managed to not be the last ponies to finish the run. The look of disappointment on the drill instructors face was priceless.
I watched in amusement as Canopy collapsed on the ground and took heavy breaths until the drill instructor noticed him and said “Initiate Canopy, pick your ass up now or I will have you do another run and another and another until you die!”
He stood up immediately.
While we were waiting for the rest of our fellow trainees to drag their sorry asses across the finish line, we had a brief exchange of words and shook our hooves.
A friend was a big plus in any smuggler’s book. Having somepony to watch your back would greatly increase one’s lifespan. This is why I tried to be as polite as I can when meeting ponies except when they’re hostile to me. Like say for example, an interrogator/Penal Guard recruitment agent.
Now for those of you who are wondering which unlucky pony finished last, turns out it was initiate Dusks or cum-sucker as the drill instructor likes to call her. This was a big surprise to us all, especially since she was actually the leading pony for most of the jog.
Apparently, the mad bastard thought it would be a good idea to complain about her nickname to the sergeant while she was jogging right beside her. To her surprise, the drill instructor agreed to change her name.
“Sure thing, initiate. From now on I’ll call you Initiate Cum-guzzler,” I remember her saying before she bashed her head on the recruit.
Initiate Cum-guzzler lost her balance and fell on the ground from the sheer force of the impact. She then got trampled on by the other recruits before the assistant drill instructor caught up to her and proceeded to enforce the LAW on her face.
There’s a silver lining in this though. Because of her injuries she was excused from the rest of the day’s fun activities.
These activities included PT, lunch, more PT, PT 2.0, and dinner. All of it done while the drill instructor kept shouting at our faces. It was hard to eat your meals if your drill instructor’s spit was flying into it.
After all of that was done, we were finally given an hour of personal time from eight to nine before we go light’s out and sleep.
“Ah fuck!” I heard one of the recruit’s grunt as she sank into her bunk, while I wiped my mane with a towel.
The orange paint was a real bitch to clean. From the looks of it, the orange stains on my uniform loked like it’s there to stay. Thank fully my coat and mane was salvageable and I spent an entire hour on the shower just to get all that orange paint out.
It was ten minutes past eight in the evening and the recruits have already settled in after what they thought was a hard day. But most of them forgot, this is only day one.
I watched as the rest of the recruits went about and spent their free time chatting with their bunkmates. I also want to talk to my bunkmate, but unfortunately she’s still in the infirmary after a run in with the LAW. So I just sat there, on the top bunk, silently watching the rest of the ponies chat with one another.
I also noticed some of them staring at me and stealing glances. I assumed this was either because of my black eye and broken nose or the fact that I was a penal recruit.
“Hey, Scumbag!” I heard Canopy call from behind me. I turned around and saw him approaching me with an Earth Pony, who I assume is his bunkmate, trailing behind him.
The mare had the typical color of an Earth Pony, her chestnut coat, green eyes and dark brown mane made her look like a typical simpleton. But what sets her apart is her big size. And when I say big, I don’t mean tall like Canopy.
This mare was tall and swole. I am at awe at the size of this lad. I felt my balls retract as the mare, who looked like she could snap me like a twig, stared at me with a blank face.
“What’s up,” I replied, my eyes locked on the Earth Pony mare. “Who’s this?”
“Her name’s Rusty Bolt or Fatherfucker as the drill instructor likes to calls her, she’s my bunkmate,” he introduced, putting a hoof at the mare’s back. She was slightly shorter than Canopy, but the bitch had more mass than him. “Rusty Bolt, this is Cloud Clipper or Scoundrel if you prefer to call him that. He’s-”
“A criminal who pussied his way out of prison,” the mare interrupted, with the classic tough-guy grin. “I know what you are, Scoundrel.”
I did not like where this was going. “Oh do you now?” I said, chuckling a bit. “What makes you say that?”
“Oh I don’t know!” She replied sarcastically. “Maybe the answer’s in your face. Nice uniform by the way. Prisoner Orange really goes well with your eyes.”
This bitch was starting to get on my nerves.
“Maybe it is. But you know its rude to judge somepony by the look of his face,” I replied with a smile. “You should’ve learned that from school right. Oh wait I remember, you Earthies don’t even do school!” I taunted which was quite ironic since I also didn’t finish school.
“You’re all too busy fuckin each other like rabbits!”
Canopy managed to grab hold of the mare before she could charge. “Stop it!” he shouted trying to hold the mare off.
We don’t smugglers live by a code not to engage in combat, especially one we’re probably not gonna win. But I’d be damned if I let this bitch walk away without making her eat her own words.
The other trainees noticed what was going on and began to chant. “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Fortunately, both of our drill instructors went somewhere and left us to our own devices. This means we won’t get apprehended if something happens, like say for example, a fight.
The raging mare eventually broke free and charged at me while I was still sitting on the top bunk of the double decker. I was an easy target.
Fortunately for me, I had spent six solid years serving under the command of a seasoned smuggler. I have traveled to a lot of places and been involved in a lot of fights. Hell, the daily life on a smuggler vessel was a fight, both with the weather and your meathead crewmates.
My point is, I have gotten my ass dragged into a lot of fights, brawls and standoffs. So much so that I realized raw strength alone wouldn’t guarantee your victory. No. Skill and discretion will always be the one to win the day.
If I attempt to engage the mare charging at me directly, I would surely get fucked hard. Of course I wouldn’t do this because I am cautious, as a smuggler should always be.
Plus, I really wanted to avoid getting my face wrecked again. It’s already bad as it is.
I finally found the opening I was looking for when the mare reached punching distance. Using my superior agility, I ducked, dodging a mean left hook that might’ve broken my jaw.
She was now open.
Do I punch?
No. That wouldn’t even scratch her.
Do I run?
No. I may be fast but this bitch has more stamina.
Do I use my surroundings?
Yes. The only thing harder than a punch is a hard surface.
I quickly grabbed the mare’s head with my hooves and with all my might, I bashed it on the steel frame of my bunk. I felt the bed shake as I watched the mare stagger back before tumbling into the ground. I looked at the part where her muzzle slammed and saw a dent that had the shape of the mare’s snout.
“Motherfucker!” The mare shouted, grabbing her bleeding nose with a hoof as she tried to stand up only to fall back down because of the pain from the concussion.
The crowd went wild and cheered for me, screaming and shouting like a bunch of riled up monkeys. I did nothing, I just sat there staring down at my defeated opponent.
Canopy being the kind hearted pony he is, knelt down on the ground and tried to help. The frustrated mare just waved him off.
Sighing, I jumped off of my bunk. The crowd suddenly went silent, watching me and waiting for me to do something.
“Clipper, she’s had enough,” Canopy looked at me with a disapproving stare. “She’s-”
I raised a hoof, silencing him, before I knelt down in front of the so called Fatherfucker. “You know. I’ve met Meatheads like you and they don’t last long in the smuggling business. Mostly because they all like to act tough, thinking they can handle everything cause they’re bigger than everypony. Thinking they’re better than others cause you’re strong.”
“Acting like an asshole in a career that involves a lot of socializing really isn’t the best idea, you know,” I said staring at the mare’s eyes. I can feel the hate radiating from her slowly fading. “They die cause no one’s willing to pull their sorry asses out of the fire when it catches them.”
“Those that are descent, the ones who know how to get along. They’re few and far out in between, but they survive. Do you know why?” I asked, still staring at her. The curious look on her face tells me she’s listening very closely. I stood up and dusted my trainee uniform.
“Because they have ponies who look after their backs, that’s why,” I extended a helping hoof to her. “Manners are important kiddo, don’t forget that. And try not to be an asshole, it can save your life one day.”
The mare hesitated, but she eventually took it and I helped her up. Hopefully my lecture on ‘not being an asshole, it can save your life’ was enough to sway her to let shit go and chill out.
“You have a point there, Scoundrel.” she said, wiping the blood off her muzzle with the sleeve of her uniform. Thank Celestia she knows how to give up. “Thanks for the lecture, pops!”
“No problem, sweetheart!” I replied. We both chuckled before shaking a hoof.
“Damn! You scoundrels really like to fight dirty don’t you?” She said, rubbing her broken nose.
“A fair fight is a fight lost, as my old boss used to say,” I replied. “But considering our sizes I guess I won it fair and square.”
It was a fair fight alright, there was no way I could keep up with a beast her size without fighting dirty. Thank Faust we didn’t fought on open ground or it would’ve turned out ugly for me.
The other trainees silently went back to their bunks one by one. It seemed like my friendly resolution to this fuckfest bored them, not that I care and all.
I then heard a sigh of relief escape Canopy’s mouth. “Sweet Celestia, for a second there I thought you guys were gonna go for round two!”
“I could’ve went for another one, but nah,” she said staring at me. “So you’re a smuggler huh, Scoundrel?”
“Yup,” I answered, smiling with pride. “Been on the business for six years until we got caught last night. Those days are behind me now though. What about you?”
“Used to be a factory worker,” she answered, looking slightly embarrassed at her poor standing in life. “Sorry I acted like a bitch earlier. City life ain’t easy, you always gotta show you’ra made out of tough shit if you wanna survive.”
I knew there was something behind that nasty attitude.
“Well in my line of work, you have to be smart and lucky to survive.”
“Tough life huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Excuse me guys,” Canopy interrupted us. “But I think we should cut the chit chat and get Rusty patched up.”
We both agreed.
While the Fatherfucker was getting her nose fixed , I decided to go visit my bunkmate leaving Canopy behind to stay with his. The facilities if the Fort’s infirmary was astounding, they weren’t joking when they said Princess Twilight loved to spoil her guards.
Walking around the building for a bit asking directions, I finally found my bunk mate’s ward where she was lying on a comfortable looking bed while reading a book. After greeting the mare who wasn’t really that enthusiastic meeting me, I told her that we were bunkmates
“So let me get this straight, you’re my bunkmate?” Initiate Cum-guzzler asked. I nodded in response which made her groan. “You gotta be fucking kidding me. You know what that means right?”
“That by extension I am also your battle buddy,” I answered. Just as I said earlier, I was no stranger to boot camp life.
You see, while in basic training the recruits are grouped in pairs by assigning them a partner known as a battle buddy. These pairs are expected to watch each other’s back and help one another both in and out of duty.
“What’s so wrong with that?” I jokingly asked. Of course I knew what was wrong with that. It’s because I’m a penal fucking recruit that’s why.
“Great, fucking great! First I get my ass beaten, got myself thrown into this clinic and now I get paired with you, a fucking criminal,” the Thestral screamed in anger at such a high frequency my ears were unable to pick it up. “Then there’s that stupid fucking nickname.”
“That’s gonna make for one very awkward letter to your parents, am I right?” I joked. This did nothing to dampen the mare’s bad mood.
“That’s the fucking point,” she said with a soft sigh. “I’m gonna be a laughingstock back home.”
“Why?”
“My family’s been serving in the guard for generations. My performance today is an embarrassment to our reputation.”
“Why don’t you just lie?”
“What?”
“Just lie, Cum-guzzler-”
“Call me that again and I will skin you alive!”
I laughed. “In that condition you wouldn’t even be able to suck dick properly. But feel free to call me Scoundrel, battle buddy.”
The initiate just glared at me. “Why are you even here? And what’s that white thing on your eye?”
“Oh this. It’s some sort of cream, they said it helps speed up the healing” I said, running a hoof over to my blackened eye. The white cream they applied was cold and sticky but it did have a really nice smell. “Also, I’m here to check on you. We’re battle buddies after all.”
“Gee, thanks for reminding me Scoundrel,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And why did you just ask me to lie to my parents?
“I never had one myself so I don’t really see the point of not lying.”
The mare blinked a couple of times in surprise. “I… I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be,” I replied, looking back at my childhood memories. It was tough growing up all alone, but you’ll learn things other foals won’t.
Still, I always wondered what life would’ve been like if I had a family. It’s the thought that always kept me up at night.
“Are you okay?” The mare asked, snapping me out of my brief pause. I felt something wet dripping down my eye. I turned around and quickly wiped it with my sleeve.
“Listen I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” I interrupted, turning back to face her. “Now where were we?”
“If you wanna talk to anypony about it, just remember I’m here to-”
“Why showing so much pity all of the sudden?”
The mare was silenced for a moment, stunned by my sudden question. “I just felt like an asshole.”
“Can we move on, please?”
“Okay, but if you ever feel the need to talk about it, your battle buddy’s right here.”
“Oh so you’re a nice mare now!” I sneered. “What a sudden change of pace, battle buddy!”
“I just feel sorry for you, dumbass. Get over it!” She said with an annoyed frown. “Jerk!”
“Now that’s more like it!” I replied with renewed enthusiasm. I really hate it when other ponies become touchy all of the sudden.
“What kind of criminal were you anyway?”
“Smuggler!” I answered with pride.
“Let me guess, you got that broken nose and black eye when you were beaten to a pulp by a Guardspony.”
“Bingo!” There was no shame in getting captured and beaten up by a guard. I was a smuggler after all, and smugglers who go into combat willingly are idiots who deserve to get what was coming to them.
It was a better to just surrender and swindle your way out. You might get a lighter sentence, be acquitted, or even get an extra beating before you’re recruited to join some special guard branch. All while the same fucking snitch who ratted you out steals your jacket and diary.
The first thing I’m gonna do when I get out of this place is to find that bitch and get my stuff back.
The Cum-guzzler rubbed her chin while staring at me. From the looks of it, she was either preparing a really good insult or trying to find some redeeming factor that will make her hate my guts a lot less. I secretly hoped for the former.
“Well at least you can pull your own weight,” she complimented. I sighed internally. “After all, you did manage to complete the morning jog while carrying like fifty kilos.”
“Sixty, actually,” I corrected.
“Well then I guess you won’t be so bad as a battle buddy.”
“Unlike some mare that ran in with the LAW,” I replied with a grin.
She sighed. “Please, don’t remind me.”
“Hey, Scoundel! Where the hell are you?” I heard Canopy call from the hallway.
“Looks like they’re done,” I told myself before I turned to my battle buddy. “I need to go back to the barracks now. It’s getting late.”
As I reached for the doorknob, the Thestral called me. “Hey Scoundrel!”
“Yeah?” I asked, turning my head.
“Thanks for dropping by. It was kinda getting lonely here,” she said.
“You serious?”
“Yup!” She smiled.
I smiled back. It felt nice to have somepony thank you every once in a while.
Then as I was about to close the door behind me I remembered something. “We’re battle buddies right? That means we’re supposed to do things together.”
“Yeah. Why’d you ask?”
“You know what that means?”
“That you’re gonna be a constant pain in my ass?”
“No stupid,” I replied. “That means I have to help you clean all those fucking toilet bowls,” I closed the door immediately after and began looking for Canopy and Fatherfucker.
This Basic Training’s gonna be a long and interesting one.
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You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Interested in seeing where this goes
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I'm really glad to hear that.
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It's not just racial segregation, its fantastic racial segregation ("Fantastic" as in "fantasy" or "fictional", not as in "awesome"; racism never is). But don't worry, there's a certain princess who's working on trying to reform the guard's archaic recruitment policies.
So far I like it pilgrim
I've never been in the millitary, and I guess I can understand the reason for it, but if you ever talked to anyone outside of that context of Drill Sergent to trainee, you'd be either Beaten up, or arrested for verbal abuse
oh, so do you look down on Stickheads, (unicorns), and author, Isn't this part inspired by Full Metal Jacket
Try saying that name five times in a row. Rather tongue-twisty, that one.