• Member Since 4th May, 2013
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On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)


Isn't Equestrian dentistry exquisitely simple? Cavity? Down a potion. Chipped tooth? A simple potion suffices. Lost tooth? Well, that may need three doses. Root canal? Clearly some kind of waterworks project. A vial or three, and all of one's issues have been solved!

...well, that was a nice dream. Time for Rarity to awaken unto nightmare...

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

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Comments ( 78 )

Guess who's escorting someone to a dental school emergency evaluation tomorrow?

Must arrive by eight a.m. (Guaranteed not to be seen until ten.)

There should be an acid trip tag. Or maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I should find out what an acid trip is, that's the one where you see things?

Puntastic title.

I have said that I find your version of Equestria a bit too dark at times, but this makes up for a lot. :raritystarry:


I don't actually have anything against dentists. Never had a bad experience, personally (might have something to do with having a dental practice consultant in the family). But the insurance problems...oh yes. And the anesthetic shots. When I was in middle school I had a couple of fillings done with nothing but nitrous, considering this to be better than the alternative. I think I was right.

Minuette is going to be upset that Rarity isn't brush-brushing.

(Oh, my. Your mother + student dentists... I'm not sure I'm far enough away to be safe.)

Guess who I went to this morning?

So Little Shop of Horrors on the dentist. I like.

The first ad I saw was for "Free dental implants".:rainbowlaugh:

Ah, I was wondering why the big sister of somepony who's used a potion to restore a tooth would so steadfastly believe that none exists.

Insurances are evil assholes.

:ajbemused: All right who melted ma drill?
:duck: I have no idea
:moustache: So it's a date 6:30?
:ajsleepy: Yea. No idea at all!
:raritywink: None what so ever. 6:30's fine precious scales!:applejackconfused:

Well it could have been worse, instead of the dentist from the little shops of horror it could have been the dentist from the marathon man.

Still that was some nightmare.


You have my sympathy. The whole insurance thing is a scam but because of how sue happy we are in America any medical professional has to have some and only will take it as payment.

Oof. I've got my first cavity ever being filled next week. This story was not good bedtime fuel.

Estee horror fics are not to be taken lightly, jesus. This was legitimately disturbing. That one pony with the pain talent? Man! Fuuck that.

The whole way the whole place was like hell with all the screaming and how the table literally ripped her off her feet to immobilize her and tear her jaw open was so messed up.

Fun fact (having not read the story yet, but wanting to get on the comment bandwagon quick-like):
IRL equines do have canine teeth (i.e., fangs). More common in stallions than mares, and generally removed edit: filed down in domestic horses so the bit fits better and . . . well, who could trust a horse with fangs?


"dust would have been considered 'long-term.'"
"dust would have considered 'long-term.'"?

"She didn't how"
"She didn't know how"?

"you have an lower incisor"
"you have a lower incisor"?

"tongue momentary probed at the"
"tongue momentarily probed at the"?

"and she she didn't care"
"and she didn't care"?

Ah. Good luck...

I have always been somewhat phobic about dentists.

This story hasn’t helped.

It’s fine. My teeth don’t hurt much.

That was delightfully fun. Made me almost, almost, dislike the dentist.

...that explains a lot about this story, actually.

The thing that I hate about the dentist is that they always want to make f-ing small talk with you. MY MOUTH IS A MINT FLAVORED HELL AND IT'S STUFFED FULL OF GAUZE! JUST DO YOUR JOB SO I CAN GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

I did not know horses have canines! This was both entertaining and educational.

My most memorable dentist memory is him having to brace a knee on my shoulder, have an assistant hold my head still, and and repeatedly yank to get a wisdom tooth out. I have never been more grateful for anaesthesia, but I think the sound it made is going to haunt me until I die.

We're not sue-happy. Especially since we have states with Tort reform which already make it impossible to sue doctors and hospitals when they make mistakes that cost people's potential and lives.

It's the medical board's fault for allowing doctors and dentist to practice when they have been reported and evade being punished. Right now there's a doctor who has murdered a woman and twins, they're from two different states and the man is still practicing medicine even though the medical boards ruled against him. He claims the lawsuits where for the woman and the twins are nothing but nuisance lawsuits.


Great just great some states are allowing these type of idiots to keep doing their job. I almost want to see the list of states that would allow this but I am afraid that the state I currently live in is on it and they would be stupid enough to make laws like this.

Nope. Nope nope nope. Dentist horror, just nope. Much frighten, very nope. All aboard the Nope train to F:yay:ThatVille.

Yep. And their teeth generally need to be ‘floated’ (read: filed down) fairly regularly, because yes, horse & pony teeth keep growing (and if they aren’t constantly grazing and foraging...basically the diet we feed them is more efficient and doesn’t wear down the teeth).

If you’re smart, you start getting the foals used to being ‘handled’ from day 1. Pick up their feet, tap them with your knuckle. Open their mouth (gently), rub their teeth. Touch everywhere. Use the softest finishing brush on them. Hand-hold a rope around the barrel. (I’ve never, ever worked at a breeding stable in my life :trollestia:)

Guess I'm one of few who's not afraid of the dentist. The only thing scary about them is the bill.

*dreamy voice and smile*

I'd trust her…

the secondary school's Fall Formal dance

Heh. Probably the closest we'll get to something EqG-related from you. Other than Spike confronting that Hollywood mogul.

Of course Pinkie would bring artillery to paintball.

"-- insurance," the mouth cut her off.

And just like that, this threatened to overtake Carcosa General as the most horrifying medical experience you've ever written.

The mention of orthodontics brought a funny feeling to mind. I'm still not sure if it's nostalgia or Stockholm syndrome. Of course, given how one of nostalgia's root words is pain...

Brilliant work in capturing so much of Zecora in so few words.

Doesn't hurt the tree if we do it right and use some magic right after.

Huh. Well now. This isn't marked as a Continuum story, but still...

Thank you for the story. Best of luck with the evaluation.

Canines are not generally removed. You are correct that generally only males have them, like generally only male deer have antlers and they were for the same reason millions of years ago. They can get sharp and an equine dentist will round them off with a float. The teeth that are removed are in the picture; they are called "wolf teeth." They are where the bit lays it the mouth and can be painful to the horse that has them due to the action of the bit. Sometimes the wolf teeth aren't visible, but just below the surface and cause 'misbehavior' in training. Teeth and saddle fit are the two most likely candidates for riding problems in horses. Generally wolf teeth are easily and quickly removed.

This story made my teeth hurt


Normally, this is the point I'd be happy to be in England, but the majority of our dentists have had to go private anyway or close down.

I'm lucky in that I never had any problems.

I am SO glad my wisdom teeth came in straight. I'll take an overbite over that any day.

We have all felt Raritys pain. But have we all let the Dentist feel it as well?

We need to know Estee

Were you seen before noon?

"I have a talent," the slick-maned stallion stated, "for causing things pain."

Well on the bright side he's due to get gassed to death and fed to a hungry plan, and couldn't happen to a nicer sadist.


This story reminds me of when I had a root canal done with no anesthetics… It was very ‘fun’ experience :trollestia:


I know other already said it but… good luck tomorrow, I’ll hold my fingers crossed :raritywink:

Thank goodness I handle dentists well, and also have a pretty good one. It also occurs to me that If this iteration of Equestria ever enters a trade relationship with a world more like ours, well, some zebra potion makers are getting very, very rich. I imagine dental potions are a thing in this world because, well, see previous sentence.

Estee, is this part of the Triptych continuum?

I know for a fact Texas is one of those states because they did it under Rick Perry. Most likely if the state is Right to Work, they'll have followed the Tort reform laws that Texas has. If you are suing for malpractice (justifiably so) some doctors in those states will violate your HIPPA and tell the doctor you interview that you're looking for a new doctor while the lawsuit issue is going so you will be rejected. Lawmakers say one thing about the whole why we have high medical bills or doctors refusing to look at patients is because we are crowding the legal system with "frivolous lawsuits" but in reality, I've been in the courtrooms. You know what's being filed there mostly? Child support claims from the state by parents who are welfare. You want fucked up? WE HAVE DEBTOR'S PRISON UNDER A NEW NAME AND NO ONE ADDRESSES THIS!

Sorry sorry, this topic always gets me heated because the libel, slander and everything about the bureaucracy of the U.S. is beyond broken. We have people violating HIPPA, FERPA, ADA, and so many more laws and the education system keeps getting worse and worse so no one understands what rights they're afforded because the people don't know that they had those rights. It's very much like children but adults actually are recognized by law and are afforded these rights. That's an entire rant for another day.

This is brilliant. This is really solid horror right here. I think the most unsettling kind of horror is when you just take things from real life and lay them out for people. "What's insurance? So what if I miss a payment? So what if I can't afford that?"

Well, now my teeth hurt.
This left me feeling three kinds of anxiety, I never knew dental (And insurance) horror was a thing.

ah dentistry, one of the best opportunities to contemplate the texture of pain, from the other side of a haze of anesthetic.

I approve. Legitimately made me wince in pain from sympathy for her plight upon reading. N o i c e .

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