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It all was planned so perfect, twilight would run a d&d campaign, all her friends would join, and everyone would be involved in an intense story. Too bad for twilight when pinkies involved, things get weird.

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Comments ( 5 )

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leeroy_gIBZ

leeroy_gIBZ #1 · Jan 18th, 2019 · · ·

That was definitely an interesting read. The discussion and dialogue was realistic and relatively show-accurate. I do have a few complaints though:
1. Even if you do think it makes sense for Pinkie's story not to have a plot, yours still needs to so it makes sense to the reading. You leave the reader like the characters here, disappointed and confused that that was all they got.
2. Grammar, you make quite a few unneeded capitalizations of random words.
3. D&D is actually a canon game in MLP. It's called Ogres and Oubliettes.
But all in all, this was a fun read and you portrayed the characters very well. Keep writing.

Zac9087

Zac9087 #2 · Jan 18th, 2019 · 1 · ·

9409455
Thank you for the review, overlooking the story, the complaints you said were indeed valid and I should have checked more carefully, but thank you for reading, hopefully this review will help me in the future.

-stay calm and pony on!

Zac9087