• Member Since 28th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

concordion


missing some sort of resolution

Sequels1

Comments ( 33 )

I am intrigued. This should be explored.

Well that was just no fun at all.

Huh...I was not expecting to find this plot as interesting as I did. I don't think you have any plans to continue it past this point (and you probably don't particularly need to), but if you did I'd definitely give it a read.

Really a hot fic all around. But honestly I feel weird saying this but I am really interested to see Spirit's story continue in his attempts to save the princess. I'd be interested in seeing a full story exploring this concept further

9408267
I agree, it’s a hot story but with potential for expansion into a full fic.

Well that was.. something.

Great idea, and executed wonderfully. Would love to follow Spirit and Twilight's story in the future.

I like it, and it seems like it had plenty of potential for expansion past a one-shot.

Fuck this story damnit. This one pissed me off to no end and I'm not sure how to even handle it. god damnit what the hell!? Ugh.

Write more please...

I am very conflicted. The story is excellent, well-written, and a pretty fresh idea. But, I don't take well to this kind of play. I still give you props for it and I did enjoy it in a weird, twisted, "I have a very confusing boner" way.

This opinion might be controversial to some, but this was so well written I have to give it a downvote. Not because I didn't like it (That is a thing I don't wanna miscommunicate), but because the themes it has are so heart-breaking to me I don't want to see it anymore than I already have.

Yeah, this was far too good at what it does. It wound me up with a truly unpleasant set of emotions and provided nothing resembling catharsis. I kind of just want it to get out of my head now, please.

Heck, this is REALLY good.

I think the part about this that really sets it apart from the straightforward fetish fuel it starts out as would have to be the unsettling way that Bulwark, at least, is *far* too comfortable with this arrangement. To the point where he really doesn't care about the rules any more than she does.

I would be extremely worried about what that stallion may do if something changes.

9409025
9408526
9408305
9408267
9408244
9407879
Thanks! I am exploring what a sequel or continuation would look like. I hope I'm not a one-trick pony.

9411211
I wouldn't worry too much about Bulwark. He's got no ambition or designs beyond getting a good lay with a hot, insecure pony.

9409872
9409082
9409033
I'll take this as a compliment. Awkward boners for the win!

9409790
I'm sorry you liked it so much!

To everyone else, thanks for the comments. They're all the payment we non-patreon writers get.

-c

Welp, this was an emotional rollercoaster.

Quite fun to read over and assist with. One of the stories that shows how much enthusiasm went into writing it

Of the 3 guards Spirit is the worst of them. He is a coward and a hypocrite.

Hmm A lot have been said about this fic... It's quite unsettling.
I'm debating quite a lot about HOW to rate this...
As Brother Roga says it explores a really dark place...
On one hand it's true that reality has no reason for being fair on the other Equestria is not reality...
This Twilight has a LOT of issues and is not addressing them in an healthy fashion.
Bulwark is something bad and I really hope would get a well deserved comeuppance.
On top of that there is necessarily a wide divergence from the show baseline...
Need to see where it will go...

I have come back to this story three times. I cannot get all the way through it without being consumed with rage. This story is Soooo well written, it ventures to the deepest pits of ......... I really can't think of a word to describe it. I have read other stories that have a similar idea and none of them have hit my emotions the way this one did. You have hit Every. Single. Button. Of my need to protect others. I have never hated an antagonist more than the mystery stallion/stallions that turned Twilight into the broken, spiritless, doormat that this story portrays her as near the end. I sorely hope you do a sequel to this particular rage inducing gold mine because as much as I like that this has captured my attention and made me sympathize with poor Twilight, this has been the most difficult, agonizing, sleep depriving decision to hit the favorite button I have ever encountered. She needs to be saved so badly in my mind it's not even funny.

9587269

mystery stallion

Bruh, it's obviously Shining Armor. Or maybe her dad. Or some other stallion whom she loved but thought she was too young. Twilight's fucked up, yo.

I sorely hope you do a sequel to this particular rage inducing gold mine

Thank you so much! Seriously, you've given me the impetus I need to push the sequel into the home stretch. It will have nothing to do with Boot, Coppertop, or Bulwark. I think you'll hate it.

I agree with what the Lore Horse said. This thing triggers me beyond comparison. Everyday, in my mind, I think of Twilight and I subconsciously imagine her a broken, submissive mare and I get triggered by it. I have a recurring thing with stories like this and it's that I get the overwhelming want to murder the stallions who did it. Now that I'm writing a story, I often take inspiration for who to murder in my story from the rape stories. Since this isn't a canon character, I'd have to look for someone else to murder. You have pushed me off the edge mate. I commend you for it. You have made my desire to protect others off the charts. This is so well made... I don't understand. Why does this have to exist? It's so realistic. Almost like... It's from first hand experience. Quick quiestion, You haven't been a repeated rape victim now, Are you? I am so angry right now. Damn it. Anyway, good job. You made someone as emotionless and unresponsive as me get T R I G G E R E D Damn it. Why am I still reading these rapefics. I'm trying to wank off but I get so angry. God help me.

9630003
This is one of the funniest comments I've ever read lmao

9630003
it’s called the ntr-rage (ntr for netorare). i’d link to some explaining articles, but i don’t think they’d be appropriate for fimfiction :twilightsheepish:

Orrm #26 · Jun 4th, 2019 · · 1 ·

"Now this, my dear. This is beauty incarnate.

I speak of this story as if I were to describe the grandeur of Aphrodite herself and I hold it's comparison to the crafts of her bastardized husband, Hephaestus.

This story is simply beautiful. The protrayal of pain and misery is fresh as a fish out of water, however minced and diced, spiced with rice with the cool quality of ice, it's, nice.

This despair, this horror of human nature. These limits of the feeble mortal mind, the monster taken form from the broken body of a bedazzled, frazzled mare is, art. It. Is. Indescribable.

That flaring agony in this chest of mine, the ache and pound with every beat, icy tendrils snaking and constricting hardened, smokey lungs, muscles tensing with a sickening mix of pain and...... pleasure.

This creation, is that of beauty I have never seen. In no book, in no page, in no idiom of a 'top seller' have I ever found something so sickeningly sweet as this.

Never before have I found a dish so tantalisingly agony-inducing. My friend, I say, I like this story quite a bit, and this pain, this kindling spreading through my limbs like nitrogen fire, I like it.

Beautiful, is a word. This, this is beauty incarnate. This piece has allowed me to soar to new heights of agony, self-loathing and rage. I love it.

For no pain I have ever felt has ever felt so good."


















Never took you for a poet Nergal.....



"Quiet child."

A super-kinky Twilight who’s into consensual non-consent? That’s my favorite thing. You’re a damn genius.

Damn, what a rollercoaster. I legit felt as uncomfortable and aroused as Spirit did, and it takes talent to invoke emotions through writing that well.

Hyped to read those sequels.

This was recommended by a friend. Solid work! Love it! I was too engrossed to quality check it like I usually do, which is an awesome sign. I'm excited to read the rest of your stuff.

Probably my favorite smut on this site.

This is vile. I'm amazed a story without any torture, death, underage characters or even any genuine rape can be so soul-sappingly disgusting! That's an impressive feat of conception and execution. Can't quite bring myself to upvote, though, sorry!

Across from him stands Bulwark, an older, stocky Earth Pony with a grudge against everything. He’s been at the castle since the beginning, and with Princess Celestia’s Castle Guard before that.

...dang :rainbowderp:

dang this is sertenly something new Oo

Login or register to comment