• Published 16th Jan 2019
  • 2,303 Views, 12 Comments

Plug'n'Play - shortskirtsandexplosions



It's a normal school day for Flash Sentry, except that it isn't.

  • ...
25
 12
 2,303

Schlump!

Early morning, before the sun had fully gleaned over the horizon...

One of several school buses arrived at Canterlot High School. With a hydraulic hiss, the vehicle came to a stop. Its doors opened, and high school students filed out in a lurching line.

Among them was Flash Sentry... and he walked the slowest out of everyone. While most of the students were hunched over in an early-morning malaise, he stood tall, prim, and proper. Despite such enthusiasm, his face was anything but charismatic... but instead vexed by some unnameable discomfort. When he stood, it was straight and rigid with his sneakers planted tightly together—the toes of the shoes pointed inward. Having exited the bus, Flash stood for a while on his lonesome, taking long... steady breaths. At last, when the eighteen-year-old had summoned enough strength to... move, he did so. Shuffling. With baby steps aimed at the school building entrance a mile away.

He was barely a stone's throw into his millipede march when he heard two raspy voices from behind.

"Hey! Flash!"

"Wait up!"

Flash slowed—for certain. But he didn't look back. He didn't so much as twist his neck, as if the gesture might somehow snap his twig body up the center.

Nevertheless, two friends of his caught up with the young man.

"It's Friday, man!" Sandalwood cheered.

"You up for some Smash this afternoon after school?" Zephyr Breeze waggled his eyebrows. "And after we're done showing Fluttershy's friends a good time, maybe we can even play some video games. Hah! Pow!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" Sandalwood laughed.

Flash sucked his breath in, speaking through clenched teeth as he waddled-waddled-waddled forward. "Sorry, guys. I... uh..." He winced randomly, but transmuted it into a toothy grin. "...I've got some volunteer work after school."

"Awwwwww..." Sandalwood pouted. "Again?"

"Bro, it seems like you're doing volunteer shenanigans every weekend these days!" Zephyr Breeze furrowed his brow. "When are you gonna find some time to hang out with your bros?"

"Thursday!" Flash wheezed. "We'll hang out Thursday!"

"Thursday was yesterday, man."

"Yup! Sure is!" And Flash continued his miniature shuffle.

Zephyr squinted at him. "Are you feeling okay, my man?"

"Sure! Absolutely!" Flash squeaked. "Why do you ask?"

"You're walking like my grandma," Sandalwood said. "And—unless I'm imagining things—I could have sword I heard you groaning during the ride here."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah you did!" Sandalwood pointed backwards. "Back when we hit those speed bumps! All three times—"

"Got a bit of a stomach ache, guys," Flash Sentry huffed. At long last, he and his buddies had reached the front entrance. "It'll go away! Don't worry."

"Who's worried?" Zephyr shrugged, then galloped ahead. "Anyways, I've got a few dress code violations to make! See ya!"

"Take it easy, Flash!" Sandalwood patted Flash on the shoulder. Hard. Thwap! "Don't be a stranger!"

"Guhhhhhhhhhhh—" Flash—his entire framework thrown off balance—found himself clinging to the front door entrance of CHS. He clenched his teeth, eyes watering. "I..." He wheezed, smiling through a crooked mouth. "...I-I wouldn't dream of it!"

After a few huffing breaths, he stood up once more—straight and rigid—and continued his shambling pace down the main hall of the school.


"And so..." Chalk scrapes clattered off the classroom board as Cranky Doodle produced an ever-evolving formula. "...considering that the average mass of a peregrine falcon is approximately 0.8kg, at what velocity must it be flying in order to fracture the surface of a 3x4meter sheet of glass that is 4cm thick?"

With a stubbled grin, the balding teacher spun to face the entirety of the class.

"Ha! And people say I don't make this course interesting!"

Silence. The room was adrift in random coughs and slack-jawed expressions.

Cranky Doodle arched an eyebrow. "Really? No volunteers? Bah!" He limped over and picked up a sheet of names. "Let's be equal opportunists for once. Been ages since I picked a girl. Ahem. Flash Sentry!"

Flash Sentry jolted where he sat... more like slumped in his desk chair at a super-slouched forty-degree angle. His feet stretched out far beyond the front of the furniture, and he winced as he raised his hand. "Uhhh... you called on me, Mr. Doodle?"

The teacher did a double-take at the male answering him. "Oh... uh..." He squinted once again at the list. "Zowie... I really gotta study this list better." A cough, and he stood up straight with his hands on his hips. "Anyways! Can you solve for the equation?"

"The... uh... falcon thingy?"

"Yes, Mr. Sentry." He pointed at the chalkboard before giving a 'come hither' gesture. "The 'falcon thingy.'"

Flash bit his lip. "You... w-want me to walk to the front of the class and solve it?"

"Well, either that, or I rip the chalkboard off the wall and bring it to you, but I'm certain we only have enough time in this period for one of those options." Cranky Doodle tapped his shoe repeatedly against the floor. "So snap to it!"

"Okay..." Flash took a deep breath. "Okay..." He took an even deeper breath. Then—grimacing—he slowwwwwwwwly slid up to his feet, exhaling in tight bursts out his nostrils. When he was finally upright, he side-stepped like a numb Quasimodo towards the front of the class.

All eyes remained curiously locked on his stiff figure.

Including Cranky Doodle, who blinked with greater and greater curiosity.

At long last, Flash reached the board. He grasped a piece of chalk in a quivering hand. Then—biting his lip to push against some immeasureable force—he slowly scraped and tapped at the board until a number was produced. "Mrmmf... there..." He looked up at Cranky Doodle, his breath ragged. "Is... is th-that the solution?"

"Oh! Uhhh..." Cranky scratched his bald head, eventually nodding. "That it is, my boy! Good to know that you're paying attention!"

"I do my best, s-sir." Flash gulped. "Can I sit down now."

"Yes you can."

Then—just as slowly—Flash lurched back to his seat. Once there, he didn't so much "sit down" as he icily draaaaped his body into a low angle, his feet dangling out through the bottom of the desk. Once he was reclined, he exhaled with great relief.

"Are you feeling quite alright, Mr. Sentry?"

"I am feeling alright, Mr. Doodle."

"Do you need to make a trip to the infirmary?"

Flash shook his head, nevertheless sweating. "I-I wouldn't want to miss out on bird mass and shattering windows."

"Hrmmmfff..." Cranky Doodle shrugged, walking over to his desk and muttering to himself. "Darn kids these days and their Fartnites. Nobody's invulnerable to exhaustion. They'll find out someday." He picked up the list of names again. "Alright! For the next equation, let's have another guy help us out!" He squinted at the sheet. "Please step up to the front... Mr. Lulamoon!"

"Hey!!!"


"And that's when I said..." Pinkie Pie walked backwards across the cafeteria with her tray of food, smiling at her friends. "No! You have chicken mouth!"

The rest of the girls giggled wildly.

"Ohhhhhhh Pinkie Pie!" Fluttershy smiled.

"It's a new year, darling," Rarity said with a wink. "And still that doesn't get old!"

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash smirked. "Did you hear the one about the Starbucks in Harvard?"

"No." Twilight smiled. "Tell us the one about the Starbucks in Harv—" She bumped into a young man's chest. "Ooomf!"

Twilight's tray was jostled. She dropped an apple and a miniature canister of milk.

Both items landed at the worn sneakers of Flash Sentry.

"Land's sakes!" Applejack remarked, catching up along with Sunset Shimmer. "Flash, buddy—we didn't see ya there!"

"I-I'm so sorry!" Twilight Sparkle stammered, straightening her glasses. "I was so busy talking with my friends, I-I didn't see where I was going!"

"That's..." Flash appeared to be wobbling like a boxing clown. When he steadied himself, he put on a nervous grin. "That's quite alright. I was the one in the way."

Sunset squinted at her long-ex boyfriend. "Is everything okay, Flash?"

"Yes! Everything is alright!" Flash's grin was a sweaty thing, and his hands clenched-and-unclenched tightly from where they hung at his rigid sides. "Everything is wonderful!"

"Oh! Well... that's good, then!" Twilight looked at him, at her apple and milk on the floor, then at him again. "If... uh... if you don't mind scooching aside so I can pick up my—"

Flash gnawed on his lip. He felt a million eyes plastered on him, and most of them female. "No! Don't worry!" A huffing breath as his muscles tensed. "Allow me."

"Oh! Uh... if you insist!"

"... ... ..." Flash lingered, standing above the fallen objects. His eyes moved towards them, but the rest of his body remained locked in place. Finally, after five fiddling seconds, he bent his knees. A sharp sound issued from his nostrils, and he locked his legs, standing straight again. Next, he tried spreading his legs so his torso could slouch down—but an even sharper trilling noise escaped his lungs. He shot up again, panting like an exhausted diver.

Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash exchanged curious glances.

Flash licked his lips, assessing the situation. Finally, he stuck one leg back while bending the other one forward... in what resembled a pronounced curtsy. Icily, he lowered his upper body like a bag of flesh on a descending hydraulic platform. Two hands reached to the floor, narrowing in on their targets.

Applejack and Sunset cocked their heads, following his slow descent.

Finally, Flash grasped the apple and the milk canister. He took several quiet, heaving breaths and liffffffted himself back up until he could comfortably hand both items over to Twilight. He did so, panting with a long distance runner's relief.

"There... you... go..." A sweaty grin punctuated the exhalation.

"Uhm... thanks...!" Twilight nervously placed the items back on her tray. "You're... uh... v-very chivalrous!"

"What she said, darling," Rarity stated, and the group shuffled on ahead.

Sunset Shimmer's eyes lingered worriedly on Flash as she passed.

The young man stood tightly in place, waiting for the girls to leave. At last, Rainbow Dash drifted past him... although she leaned in to whisper: "My advice? Lay off the Hot Pockets, dude."

Flash limply nodded... then made his way to the lunch line.


"And it's like..." Thunderbass squatted on his knees in gym clothes outside the school building in the P.E. Field. "...I can't change her. I know that!" As several other students performed curl-ups in pairs around him, he leaned forward and placed the weight of his hands against another classmate's feet. The huffing and puffing of breaths filled the sweat-scented air all around. "I knew before getting into our relationship that she's bi! And that's totally cool. I believed that then and I believe it now."

Thunderbass frowned into the air as he continued spotting the student in front of him.

"And I don't mean that from some stupid, trollsy 'oh my god bisexual girls are hawwwwwt' kind of perspective! I think she's beautiful in every way—including the ways in which she loves those around her! Just like she loves me! And yet..."

Thunderbass sighed, tossing his seafoam hair back as he tongued the inside of his mouth.

"... ... ...part of me feels so rotten. Almost as if I'm mad at her. Because I know that... no matter how much I wish for us both to remain monogamous... she'll always have her eyes on someone else. And—yeah—that sounds crappy, cuz not all bisexual people are polyamorous. But... but it's like I could never be both a man and a woman for her, and... and I fear about leaving that one particular avenue constantly open. I mean... it's really not fair to her either, is it? The fact that I can't be both the things that she likes? Both masculine and feminine?"

He gulped.

"Do you ever have that problem, Flash?"

Silence.

At last, the gym student looked down at the exercising classmate whom he was spotting. "Flash?"

The young man's face was red as a beet. His entire body shook and strained and shuddered with each curl-up he did. He sweated profusely and—if Thunderbass looked hard enough—it almost looked like tears were fighting to pry themselves loose from Flash's eyes.

Thunderbass winced. "Yo... dude, are you okay—?"

"Grnnnnnnghhhhhh!!!" Flash grnnnnnnghhhhhh'd, his teeth clenched tight to the point of shattering. "I... Just... Think... You... Two..." He hissed and grunted with each curl-up, as if he was being eviscerated on every exertion. "...AMAZING... TOGETHER... GRNNNGHHH!"

Thunderbass recoiled slightly, almost releasing the pressure from Flash's feet. "Whoah, man. Take it easy. You've been juicing or—"

"JUICE!" Flash warbled, eyes rolling back as he sat up again and again and again. "GUHHHHH! What. I. Wouldn't. Give. For. An. Ice. Bath. About. Now!!!"

"Dude, you're scaring me."

"Hold on! To the one! You love!" Flash whimpered and sobbed to the blue sky above the P.E. field. "No matter! How much! She dominates! You!"

Thunderbass' face twisted. "Huh?"

Just then, a shrill whistle sounded off. "Okay! Take a breather!" A coach's voice shouted, "Then ten laps around the track!"

"Duahhhhh!" Flash fell back, panting and heaving as his body flattened against the grass like a wooden plank. "Oh... Ohhhhhhh praise Miyamoto..." He ran a hand through his hair, near tears. "Wheelchair... my entire MTG collection for a wheelchair..."

"Well, you heard the coach..." Thunderbass stood up. "Time to stretch our legs! Thanks for listening to me ramble again, man." He sighed, running a hand through his bangs. "Me and Starlight—if it isn't one thing, it's—"

Flash sniffled. "Hold me..."

"Uhhhh..." Thunderbass leaned down. "What?"

Flash cleared his throat. "Help me... up. Help me up, dude?"

"Oh! Sure thing, Flash!" Thunderbass reached down and hoisted Flash by his arm.

"Gyuhhhhhhhhh!" Flash let loose a high-pitched squeal, then shook it off with a cough. "Alright. So..." He stiff-legged towards the track, stifling further whimpers. "Runniiiiiiiing!"

Thunderbass blinked after him, then joined the sweaty migration of students towards the track. "Maybe she and him have something in common..."


The final bell rang.

All the students evacuated the building, cheering in the face of Friday.

All student... save for one.

Flash Sentry walked—more like limped alone in the opposite direction. He was a basketcase of labored breaths at this point, and every further step he took appeared to take a mountain of effort. Visible lines of sweat coated the neckline of his shirt, and—at a far glance—one might assume he had lost a good quarter of his body weight in some hidden exercise over the past twelve hours.

Nevertheless, in a dutiful march, the young man reached the center of the school building... where a glass-tinged door lingered that was marked: "Principal's Office."

Here, Flash Sentry caught his breath with finality. He leaned his wooden board body forward... just enough to reach the door with cold knuckles. He knocked five times in quick succession... followed by a pause... then followed by one last final knock.

Within a second, a woman's voluptuous voice responded: "Enter."

Flash's eyes lit up, practically sparkling. His exhaustion became a flimsy thing of the past as he turned the knob and slid his way in through the door frame.

The visage of a seraphim goddess sat behind her desk, instantly devouring the sight of the eighteen-year-old with rosy eyes. "Lock it behind you," Principal Celestia said firmly.

The boy bit his lip, nodding obediently. He turned around and locked the door.

Celestia slowly stood up, like a second sunrise. "Walk towards me," she ordered.

He did so... fidgeting and waddling—

"No." She raised a finger, wagging it. The edge of her lips curled. "Larger stride."

"... ... ..." Flash lingered in place, fingers clenched.

Celestia's brow furrowed. "Your mistress gave you a command."

The young man nodded. Stifling a whimper, he stretched his leg out far. He winced... then sucked his breaths in and out with each. Long. Step. That. He. Took. Towards. Her.

Celestia's hungry smile grew and grew. She slowly held her arms out wide...

...and when Flash reached her, he practically fell forward into her embrace. She held him close as he relished in her strength and support and perfume. Just having someone else contain the weight of his frame was heavenly enough, and he murmured into her lower shoulder: "I thought I'd never m-make it, Mistress. I thought I-I'd never m-m-make it..."

"But you did. And I'm proud of you, my pet." She leaned down to kiss his head, running her hands across his shoulder as she felt his trembles against her. "Tell me." A wry smile crossed her alabaster face. "Have you enjoyed any of it?"

He clenched his teeth. "Honestly...?"

"You know what I wish to hear."

He gulped. "Not at all." His legs nearly went limp beneath him as he clung to her. "I didn't. Not really." Flash shuddered. "It... it stings and it's embarrassing and I can barely walk and—"

"You seemed to be enjoying it when you were exercising in front of Thunderbass," Celestia purred.

Flash's pupils shrunk as he paled. He felt a finger on his chin, tilting his face up to look at hers.

"Why so surprised?" She winked. "You can see a lot from the windows of the faculty break room."

"I was just... he and I..." Flash gulped. "He was talking about his girlfriend... and... a-and I didn't want to ruin that!"

"And that's the only reason why you were blushing in front of him?"

"Y-yes, Mistress."

Celestia's eyes narrowed. "... ... ...very well." She nodded towards the wall of the room. "Would you mind getting my purse for me?"

"Hmmm?" Flash stiffly turned around, squinting at the rest of the office. "But I don't see your—"

Once he had pivoted about, Celestia swung her arm back and swatted him hard on the butt.

"AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa!" Flash lifted about three feet off the ground and bounced in place like a rigid pogo-stick, grasping his posterior.

"Snkkkt—hahahahah!" Celestia leaned back, laughing victoriously into the back of her wrist. "You should know better than to lie to me, pet." She winked. "I'm glad you were telling the truth about following my directions at least."

Flash rubbed his butt, sniffling. He stared daggers into the floor like an angry toddler.

"Awwwwww... none of that pouting, now." Celestia stepped back and sat gracefully in her chair before holding her arms. "Come. Sit."

Still sniffling, he shuffled over towards the older woman. Then—with what could only possibly be well-rehearsed motion—Flash crawled up and sat his smaller self on Celestia's lap until she held him sideays in what loosely resembled a cradling fashion.

"Good boy." She leaned in and kissed his head before holding him close, getting a good breath of his hair. "Mmmm... ohhhh how I love the things you do for me, pet."

He murmured, "Even when they sting?"

"Especially when they sting." She winked, kissing his forehead again. "You've made your mistress very happy. Tonight—during 'volunteering'—I think you're due for a treat."

Flash's face lit up. He looked up at her with a gleeful expression. "You mean...?"

"Mmmhmmm..." She rubbed noses with him, smiling. "Grilled Cheese and Tinkerbell on Netflix." Another kiss on the forehead. "Consider it a date night."

Flash fidgeted in her embrace. "Could... could I wear—"

"The blue nightie?" Celestia smiled. "Only if you promise to keep 'wearing' what your mistress asked you to as well."

Flash gulped, before strengthening up. "It's a deal."

"But of course it is." She held him close, nuzzling the top of his head. "And afterwards, as we snuggle, you can tell me alllll about your latest fantasies regarding Thunderbass."

Flash bit his lip. "What..." His face turned beet-colored again. "...latest f-fantasies?"

Celestia's palm aimed at his rear once more—

"I'll tell you!" Flash squawked, flinching all over and hugging her closer. "I'll tell you everything!"

And Celestia laughed, spinning the two of them slowly in the chair. "God, I love you so much..."

Author's Note:

Comments ( 12 )

"You up for some Smash this afternoon after school?" Zephyr Breeze waggled his eyebrows. "And after we're done showing Fluttershy's friends a good time, maybe we can even play some video games. Hah! Pow! "

Flash punched him on principle. No one commented on this; it happened to Zephyr about half a dozen times each day.

"Wheelchair... my entire MTG collection for a wheelchair..."

I feel vaguely called out.

In any case... yeah, this pairing didn't get any less weird since What Dreams May Cook. I honestly just feel bad for Flash. Though I did enjoy Cranky's Pokémon professor levels of inability to tell what gender his students are.

Silly sissy Flashy fun. Good times. :twilightsmile:

...Skirts, are you okay?

Yikes, you usually only see this kind of thing happen to schoolgirls, waitresses, and office ladies in hentai. :twilightoops:

Also, leaving something shoved up your butt like that for hours on end can cause a variety of long-term damage and is seriously not healthy at all.

Poor Flash, Ah-Aaaaaaaaah! What kind of batteries are in that thing to make it last ALL DAY? My money is on betavoltaics.

9407169
As for the gender mixups: he’s bald, he might secretly be a Sontaran. He look like a potato to anyone else?
9407441
Is that like... the anal equivalent of priapism?

9407831
Not quite; it strains and damages internal tissues that are very delicate and sensitive. It's not remotely a safe or recommended practice--not to this degree, anyway--and yet people still persist in doing this either as a kinky S&M thing or a method of relaxing the ass for anal sex, or BOTH.

9407880
I also imagine there’s a risk of fecal impaction if left in long enough... especially if doing sit-ups, or other abdominal activity.

9408338
Two words: BEAR. PLUG.

good shit my dude

What an uncomfortably amusing read. Throughout the whole thing, I felt so much on the tenterhooks...

Uhhh mmmm... Okay! It's... uh..good.

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