- Member Since 4th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen Monday
CountDerpy
She/Her (Trans). Occasional Writer, Storm Chaser, SFM Artist and Former Special Events Staff at Ponyville Ciderfest. PFP by LincolnBrewsterFan.
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This is my first fan fic so please don't judge me to hard
Dude, I will heed your warning and won't even touch this with a pole stick, but I've got to ask.
Why would you write something like that? Why would you torture, main and kill innocent ponies? Just... why?
who should judge you this is a very 'special' story but i like it(because the saw saga is my favorite movies) but cool storie in all
ps. sorry for bad spelling im danish so...
There are a few spelling and grammar errors, but that's easily fixed. You should try and get an editor to help you.
Otherwise, I couldn't find anything wrong with this fic, I probably won't be reading the rest because I've read so many SAW and MLP crossover fics that even Celestia would look at me in awe.
Otherwise, practice a little more, and I think you will do fine in the future.
Its ok, but mainly i wrote this to bring my friends who are major horror movie buffs into the FiM world. Also, why not! im not afraid to tread where other fear to travel. This may be one of the darkest stories to be on this site, but it will continue and i must finish it. Not just for me, but to bring to justice the "Killer" within it, im not going to give who it is away, but it might shock you.1040907>>1040907
1040919 Thank you and i am getting my college friend to help me edit it and it will be fixed in the future. But all i say is....please dont knock it until you try it. but thanks for the feed back
It's a good concept, and you are a good writer, but to me, I lose the horror element when there's a grammar error. What one of my writer friends does is pass her story around her friends looking for advice on how to improve it and to catch any errors she may have made. This is a good way to get advice from people you can trust. You're a great writer, maybe not exactly J.K. Rowling, but you still have a talent here. Good luck and love ponies
1040964 Thank you very much and i agree but i am starting a small collaboration among my friends on how to get this thing edited and as perfect as can be. Ik im not J.K. Rowling and i wouldn't even try to be as great as she is but i will keep trying and hopefully future stories will be even better!
Crap. Double crap. What is it with people writing this junk? Trying to create the next Cupcakes?
1041007 no where near that. This was just my way of getting my horror movie loving friends into this world...a slow process but still possible. And no way in heck would i try to make the next Cupcakes, nothing could even rank that high. This is just my way of telling the story and hey, i warned you all.
1040907 Hej another Danish Brony!
Generally I ignore anything marked "gore" as a rule, but when I saw the "SAW" title, I decided to give you a shot. While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the idea, I was a bit worried that you would fail to deliver an interesting premise. I have to say, I'll give you credit for your execution, while the gore is present, it's never overbearing. Your ideas for the traps thus far are fitting, both ironic and twisted, though I thought Pinkie's was a bit...lacking, I guess? The only thing that motivates her to sacrifice herself is saving these ponies who know her secret, whereas in the films, Jigsaw would generally have some sort of consequence for saving yourself. In this case, the Cutie Killer seems to be doing Pinkie a favor. I am curious to see who our killer is, mentally debating both OC's and canon ponies. You do have a fair few spelling and grammar errors, but that's been touched on. I will tentatively keep an eye on this story, more out of hope than anything, that you can pull a clever end to it. Good Luck! (and let the games continue!)
1041007 Also, I just wanted to say that Cupcakes was disgusting. Not even horror, it was just horrendous. A pointless (and poorly written) fic, meant for pure shock value. CountDerpy seems to be doing a much better job of keeping the gory bits in check, and this could turn out to be quite the mystery/thriller.
1041232 i have to agree with the lack of, dare i say, showman ship from Pinkie's trap, but in due time you will see why i have done this. Always remember that nothing is as it seems and that things you once thought to be true can be completely wrong.
1041250 Touché my friend, I will watch with interest.
me before reading this:google.ch/imgres?hl=it&safe=off&biw=1378&bih=844&tbm=isch&tbnid=9mhRefAmFF9CaM:&imgrefurl=http://www.memecenter.com/search/MLP%2520FIM&docid=IahuZkwBi7aJeM&imgurl=http://us13.memecdn.com/Da-fuck-is-this_c_136559.jpg&w=500&h=383&ei=Ux0gUMm2Eaik4ASXnoGQDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=839&vpy=443&dur=3881&hovh=196&hovw=257&tx=162&ty=100&sig=109822384757443947916&page=2&tbnh=150&tbnw=196&start=39&ndsp=49&ved=1t:429,r:46,s:39,i:334
me after finishing first chapter:
google.ch/imgres?hl=it&safe=off&biw=1378&bih=844&tbm=isch&tbnid=HVFYy9Th2YVJ_M:&imgrefurl=http://emotibot.net/index.php%3Fcontent%3Dviewer%26id%3D104&docid=vkiCNvHlh81LVM&imgurl=http://emotibot.net/pix/104.jpg&w=320&h=296&ei=mB4gUIKmMofe4QTXloDIAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=553&vpy=147&dur=1212&hovh=216&hovw=233&tx=149&ty=147&sig=109822384757443947916&page=1&tbnh=156&tbnw=168&start=0&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:75
Trixie?
1041397 yes
The cutie mark killer started with Spike?
1042381 Yes but like i have stated previously, NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS
NO ONE IS SAFE AND NO ONE BUT ME KNOWS WHO THE KILLER IS! So hold tight, its coming 
Okay, so the premise of this is really good and though your writing does need some work, it's overall very good. Just one problem-- none of the characters are really acting like themselves. At ALL. Applejack would NEVER destroy others' farms to keep hers. Twilight doesn't seem like the alcoholic type. And Pinkie Pie... well, she might put drugs in her goods, but not for the reason you put. She probably doesn't even know what drugs really are
But anyway, other than that, great job so far! Can't wait to see what Pinkie decides to do.
1043712 When I was beginning the concept for this story I had to create some motive for the CK to target them other than a beef with Twilight (explained later) so i took their personalities and created a flaw.A dirty secret within themselves that no pony would ever guess. Everyone has skeletons in their closet so i gave them their own set. I understand your point and I assure you that it will all tie into the end, but i really can't give the reason for testing Pinkie as "her being to fun,hyper and well.....awesomely crazy"
Set to "read later". i have seen a few saw films and REALLY don't want to start on anything like that until i know that there is an end.
keep writing
1047069 I will and i hope i do not disapoint
ok even i have to admit this trap lacked the showmanship of my first one. This wasn't my favorite chapter to write so far but it is one none the less.
Honestly, I think you handled it very well. Seeing Bon Bon as a hateful blackmailer was an unexpected, but from what I'm seeing, none of the ponies in your universe are the innocent characters we all know and love, which can actually be a nice break from the norm! I DO have to say that the whole "cryptic last message as you die" thing was a little cliche, but you've moved passed this part of the story nicely. Keep it up, and I'll keep reading. :3
Why did the first tape say: I think the images explain the.... Explain the what
I love saw by the way, but Knowing the mane 6 are in the traps... I'm not sure I'm going to read anything involving Pinkie dying... and if it helps, most people tend to use different spelling to improvises Applejack's accent. 
Stuff like I is usually Ah, and your is usually yer. Even though it's incorrect it helps a little to picture Applejack's voice in your head as you read. However it's up to you how you write it I'm just trying to provide some helpfull tips you might like to use in future 
Also don't be afraid to extend scenes and add the extra detail when you're talking about gore. I felt that Applejack's leg's breaking could have been a little longer and more graphicly detailed
But that might just be me, I have high expectations when it comes to gore 
I gotta agree with what's been said. I found it easy to read these deaths, the characters are so far fetched from their usual personas, and didn't seem to affect me reading them, but i know i would have died a little inside if Derpy had died
as for Pinkie... well, I don't care if she's a druggy or not, I'm going to hope that when you said 'Or is it?' in the chapter title, that there's a chance she's still alive. I'm going to watch this and see where future chapters go. 
1050055 all good points. Yeah the deaths so far have been a little easy to read and lacking the gory details
and i will work on this. I to would have died a little inside if Derpy had died too, but she is important to the plot line as the story gets deeper 
. And remember, even if i said outright that they died right then and there, never assume they are actually dead. I will work around these points and future chapters will have a lot more gore and the psycho-thriller element will start to come into play. Thanks for reading! 
Glad to see a SAW crossover at long last.
And if the killer is who I think it is, than this should prove interesting. =3
1065268 hehe if you think you have it figured out, just means you'll enjoy the ending so much more
I have to say that this is a very fun read. I may be assuming too much but unless you created a character for the part of the killer this chapter may have given away too big a hint. Granted I do not know the names of most of the background characters so it may still come as a surprise to me. Looking forward to whatever else you have planned.
Sincerely;
The Fictional Critic.
1081173 I have actually been sent several answers to who ppl think the killer is, but the one thing i can say is it is not an OC. Any OC's I use are either killed off or just play a bit part in the action. And never ever think I am giving anything away. The killer might be under your nose or miles away, but one thing is for certain. It has only just begun.
1081191
Well, if there is any kind of hint in chapter 5. Which I can only assume there is, then I believe I am fairly close to the answer unless there is more than one responsible. That line of thinking could leave many things open. It is even possible that the one responsible has already made an appearance in one of their own games. Regardless of all of those possibilities however you still have to explain the R eventually so I will look forward to that for now.
Sincerely;
The Fictional Critic.
I want chapter 6
1144360 im working on it....it should be up by Saturday
Interesting
1144994 Quite
but to tide you over... my next chapter of Sweeney Dash is going to be out tonight
i no who the killer is >x3
1146352 sorry had pc problems...will have "Sweeney Dash" chapter in the morning or by 4 Central Time (US) tomorrow
sorry everypony 
So how much longer for ch. 6 of SAW
1170568 Almost done writing it, just have to get it edited but i will have it up as soon as i can...school and work is throwing my schedule way the buck off
but it will be up soon so hold your ponies...uhh....every pony lmfao 
1170568 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/43931/Marenobyl-Diaries- here is another story i have posted if you haven't seen it yet
Love the fact that pinkie stoped and waited for Bon Bon and Fleur died,then she proceeded with "the end"
I also like the fact that you referred to it as "her own personal hell" nice toch there 
Im watching you
Im guessing by the story pic that you will be killing off fluttershy?*pulls out gun,holds to groin*please tell me no...
please?
1171908 im not giving anything away but everyone of the mane 6 will go through there own trials....but don't worry i have a feeling things will work out for the better in Fluttershy's case.......thts one thing...i really don't like hurting Fluttershy, Derpy or any of the CMC....well maybe just Fluttershy and Derpy i won't hurt
1172024 thank you jeebus. You just freaking saved my balls. Praise you,and bless your children
1172687 amen