Fallout Equestria: Operation Star Drop

by Meep the Changeling

16 - Two Ghouls in a Bus Stop

The sunrise cast a long shadow across the road in front of me as I left Fillydelphia behind. As much as I had enjoyed the troops’ company and the party… I didn’t want to stay in Filly any longer than I had to. So, I left as soon as the last NCR soldier fell asleep.

I think the Talon’s technique worked. I still felt a little bad that I hadn’t been able to save Roll, and even more so that she had died, but it wasn’t paralyzing anymore. I felt less like a monster, and more like a child who had just learned how to avoid making a mistake again in the future.

I hoped that was how I was supposed to feel. Even if it wasn’t, I’d take it.

”If you want to avoid more mistakes in the future, I recommend you start learning as much as you can about the local area,” Imaginary dad suggested.

Good idea… Too bad I don’t have easy access to somepony who knows everything there is to know about the Heartlands.

”You do. Listen. Up ahead, in that old bus stop shelter.”

I frowned and looked down the road. I'd walked for about three hours after leaving Fillydelphia behind, and I could see a small suburb in the distance to the south atop a hill, perhaps a klick from where I was standing. A road split off from the highway and headed to the town, and an old bus stop sat right at the corner of the highway and the road.

It was one of the old wagon stops which formed a network over the entire Filly area, helping ponies who worked in Fillydelphia’s suburbs commute to work. The stop’s sheer footprint on the roadside made that immediately apparent, marked by signs and crash barricades, with room for a good ten, maybe fifteen ponies to take shelter inside it at once. Its yellowing transparent walls had been fortified in recent times. Sandbag breastworks, metal plates replacing old glass panels. It had been made into a little checkpoint. An NCR flag flew from one corner of the flat roof.

But most important of all was the voice I could just barely hear speaking inside the bus stop. Wander’s!

I could tell it was her, even at this extreme distance. I could just barely make out what she was saying thanks to the dead calm of the early morning air.

“... yeah we saw his armor just after leaving Magebridge. It flew, so it couldn’t have been a mockup or imitation. I really, really, really hope that psycho Gale didn’t actually get ghoulified.”

I raised an eyebrow. It sounded like she was filling somepony in on our adventures together, but who?

I sped up, eager to reach the stop and see if she was still my friend and if we could travel together again. That’s when I heard the other voice. Scratchy, medium high pitched. The ghoul she’d been hanging out with in Manehattan!

“He wasn't that bad, when he was sober,” she said with sincerity.

“Wasn’t that bad?” Wander asked with a little scoffing pff. “I seem to recall a newspaper which had a photograph of him covered in zebra blood while using their intestines to literally grease the treads of a tank!”

“Oh, that. Look, he was a good pony at heart. He just had some serious issues, chief amongst which was a raging murder-boner for any zeeb not born in Equestria, and yes he could visually tell! I have no idea how, but we tested him, and he actually found an error in one of our test’s pictures…”

Wander chuckled. “I can too. It’s the face-shape. Equestrian zebras almost always have a pony relative within two or three generations. We didn't ban inter-tribe breeding like the Empire did thousands of years ago. Equestrian zebras have more rounded cheekbones, and a sharper brow-line.”

I walked closer, straining my ears to hear more of the conversation. Dad was very much right. I needed to know more and hey, here was more to know…

”It’s not even eavesdropping, because wagon stations don’t have eaves.”

I didn’t dignify that one with a response.

“Huh… They do? I mean, I just got back from Zebrica a few years ago. I really didn't notice rounder faces when I got back.”

“You didn’t ever hang out with Equestrian zebras much, did you? Trust me, as somepony who had at least six of them in her club every night… There's a lot of difference. It’s just not in color. That’s probably what makes it hard for most ponies.”

“Fair.”

“Seriously, though. That stallion apparently committed war crimes on the regular.”

“Yeah, he did. Thing is, he’s basically just a huge angry little colt that never stopped hurting but suddenly gained the power to make the monsters under the bed pay. He should never have been allowed to enlist, let alone participate in the Warforge project. But... selecting the members of the Hammer and Anvil squads wasn’t my call at that point. Tongs was different. They were good ponies I vetted but the other two teams were picked on merit from the other branches. Luna’s orders.”

“You still let him into the MoA,” Wander said poinintly.

“Yeah. I did.”

“Why?”

“Because… Because we had a plan to end the war. It was big. It was bold. It was awesome… And we needed a few monsters to ensure it would work. I read his entire psych profile when the army kicked him over to us in response to that little PR disaster. Gale was a monster, but he was an entirely loyal monster. You know how much I value loyalty. Unbalanced as he was, if told not to do something, he never did it again. Ever.”

Wander snorted. “I thought you said he was like a little colt. Specifically an angry one.”

“He was! Not all foals are little horseapple pies,” the other ghoul muttered angrily. “Look, Gale’s whole family was bucked up. Parents that never got over their oldest son’s death and became so withdrawn that Foal Protective Services almost took their remaining foals from them twice! A little sister with major mental issues who got basically black bagged by Purple Smart’s Bastard in Chief… Seriously, Doctor Silver was an asshole! Uh, different bag of worms there. Back on topic, Gale was raised in an very troubled, extremely low income family… He had a really bad home life. He wasn’t ever going to come out healthy and normal, V-rrrh. ’Wander’.”

I was getting kind of close to the bus stop now. The conversation was very easy to overhear. I was starting to make out not just words, but more tone, and even the sounds of the two moving as they spoke. I didn’t want to interrupt them, so I made sure to walk extra quietly, and it was a good thing I did, because there were plenty of those can-string-noise-alarm-thingies strung about.

Seriously, did those things have a name? They had to have a name, right?

“So did I,” Wander said with a dismissive fake-laugh. “I’ve never skinned someone alive. Uh, well… Not till after the war. In my defense, I was half-feral at the time.”

“Sure. You also never got a box from an unknown address, opened it, and found your brother’s head with ‘spy’ branded into the forehead.”

“... oh.” Wander said softly. I was only mostly sure I’d heard it at all.

“Yeah… That happened when Gale was eight. In the early years of Rarity’s massive nationwide propaganda campaign painting zebras as evil monsters. How do you think you'd have turned out?”

Wander sighed loudly. “I never heard about that part.”

“We made sure that not many ponies did,” her friend said with an irritable huff. “Anyways, Gale was a stallion of his word. During a pre-battle speech he told the platoon involved in that particular incident, and I quote, “We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to rip out their Luna-damned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those bastards by the bushel!” A soldier jokingly reminded him of that part of his speech after the battle, which Gale had forgotten saying. Gale refused to be a liar over it… So, he did what he said he was going to. Even said “thanks for the reminder, private!” according to the report I had classified so hard that even Luna shouldn’t have seen it. Damn janitor...”

I decided to slow down and wait. This seemed like a conversation that they might not continue if they saw me, and imaginary dad was right. I needed to learn more, and this conversation was sounding pretty damn critical. Considering they were talking about my long lost uncle who just killed my newfound friend.

“Just what the Wasteland needed!” Wander sighed. “A pony who feels locked into slaughtering and mutilating mares, stallions, and foals alike because they said they would.”

“Uh, no? You’re misremembering. He only ever butchered the adults,” scratchy-ghoul commented.

“I really don’t think I am, ‘Crash’.”

“That’s not what I’m going by…”

“I know,” Wander snickered playfully.

“... dick.”

“I thought you left yours at home,” she added with a feeble sounding chuckle.

“Heh! Anyways, Gale didn’t have a problem with any zebras born after he got that box. He never hurt their foals. He even rescued them, if he could. Saw it as his duty to ensure they grew up into and I quote ‘Ponies, not monsters,’” the scratchy-voiced ghoul whose name wasn’t Crash added.

“Wait, really?” Wander asked.

She sounded like she didn’t believe a word of it. I wasn’t sure I did either.

“Really! Sure, he killed a few hundred zebras in that village. Yes, he gutted the dead for lubricant and handed the Empire a huge piece of damning propaganda to use against us… But he didn’t kill anyone there who was under 17 who did not attack him or any of his squad, and he didn’t gut the prisoners. As far as Gale was concerned, his brother’s life was worth three hundred and fifty seven million zebras. The adult population of Zebrica at the time he was killed. He had nothing against their kids. Because, you know, they had nothing to do with his brother's death.”

“That’s… a bit crazy. But I believe you,” Wander said quietly.

“Yeah, stranger than fiction, yadda yadda… Anyways, it can’t actually be Gale Force in that suit now,” scratchy-voice remarked. “Everypony in Anvil Squad had two identical sets of armor. That way, if one was damaged, we could swap them over to the other set if they were needed while repairs were being made by Tong squad.

“Since there’s no other set of power armor an alicorn would have a chance of fitting into, somepony probably stumbled onto whichever MoA safehouse held the spare suite and looted it. Can't blame them. It’s an awesome suit! Expressly designed for shock and awe and all that.”

Wander hummed. “So, there’s no way our big bad could have been Gale Force? No chance he’s one of us? Still wandering around out there?”

“Ehhh… no?” the other ghoul said heastently. “There’s a very very very very... very tiny chance it’s him. Basically zero. Well... Almost zero. A few days before the end, I had him put on ice with the rest of his squad. The fact you just saw “Gale” and none of the rest of them? Well, odds are much better somepony found the spare suit vs finding four stasis pods being fed from the same power supply having a failure which only made three of them stop working. There is no way Gale wouldn’t kill anyone who didn’t also reanimate his squadmates. That would be treason, you see? He’s big on loyalty, like I said.”

None of the rest of them. None of the rest of them!

I felt my core skip several cycles. Please, please, please, don’t let the Tainted or Enclave have access to a whole squad of super-powered soldiers like him!

“Wait, why did you stasis him?!” Wander asked incredulously.

“Huh? Oh. Testing the system is all, really,” her friend answered a bit too casually.

“Oh, come on! The war’s over, ‘Mare Do Well’! You can spill what you were really doing,” Wander said angrily.

“I can’t.”

“I refuse to believe that. There’s no way you don’t know everything the MoA was up to! It wasn’t operating like the other ministries, where power was split between the Ministry Mare and a few designated individuals. The MoA was laser focused, tight knit, and small enough for one mare to hold the reins. You. Knew. Everything. They. Did. So spit it out! The Wasteland could be looking at a new Red Eye!”

She did? Interesting! She must have been a fairly high ranking MoA agent!

I moved up closer to the bus stop, stopped a few hooves from the wall, and smirked. I successfully snuck up on a former MoA agent! Her Majesty owes me five bits! Plus hazard pay for all this!

“If I told you what exactly we were doing, a pony other than me would be alive who knew about it, and since the thing is still around… I mean, it’s probably a big pile of useless junk now… But like, Wander,” the ghoul I decided to call Mare sighed. “It’s not a huge pile of balefire bombs. But, let’s say you knew an old facility that was full of old balefire bombs, but was locked up tight and impossible for anypony to get to unless they knew where it was and had the key, would you tell anypony anything about it?”

“Wait… You mean there’s a base out there that’s impossible to find unless you already know about it? That’s one hell of a ward!” Wander exclaimed in shock.

“Sorry. I can’t talk about that either. Some things are best left forgotten,” Mare said adamantly. “Back to the point, the real Gale probably died a hundred and fifty years ago when the life support power failed, as, you know, they tend to. If he didn’t, nopony can get to him to thaw him out, and if they did, they’d have awoken the whole squad, or if not, Gale would have the moment he was up.

“I can say with certainty that we’re dealing with an alicorn who stumbled on a suit of advanced power armor sized for them, and took it.”

I heard Wander shuffle slightly. Perhaps she nodded, or moved a leg to sit more comfortably. “Alright, that’s fair. But you’re completely sure nopony could find that old base? Horseapples.”

Mare sighed loudly. “Can’t talk about it, Wander. I trust you. I know you’re a good pony under all that baggage. But what if somepony tortured it out of you? Or what if you got drunk and started talking about it? See what I mean? There’s a real risk in telling you. Especially since we’re not the only two ponies here. There’s also the mare who thinks they’ve been sneaking up on us.”

My eyes widened in terror. Before I could react Mare added, “Come out around the front of the bus stop, or I’ll let the grenade in my hoof go off. My friend and I regenerate. We’ll be pretty fine, you’ll be pretty dead.”

“So that’s why you took out that grenade,” Wander remarked.

A little warning voice in the back of my mind told me if I actually rounded the corner, I’d be shot. Fortunately, I had an easy fix for this.

I cleared my throat and loudly announced. “Wander, it’s Gears!”

“Sounds like her,” Wander muttered. “If you are Gears, and not just a mare who sounds like her and knows—”

“Knows what you sound like and that you’re looking for Gears, not The Machine?” Mare scoffed. “Come on, there’s being paranoid and then there’s being dumb. Come on over, Gears. We’ve been waiting for you.”

I heard the metal-on-metal scrape of a pin going into a lock, and seeing as how that was probably a pin going back into a grenade rather than a poor lock being molested, I was relieved.

I gulped nervously and trotted around the side of the bus stop to the open side. Or rather, the partially open side. The bus stop’s fortifications had included adding fourth wall with just one door. The door was propped open.

Inside the fort-stop I could see Wander, and also exactly the other ghoul I had been expecting. A lithe blue pegasus dressed in an old Shadowbolts uniform. I hadn’t expected her to be wearing a super old, tattered, wide-brimmed purple hat, matching ragged cape, and a patched old white flier’s scarf in addition to her uniform, but she was.

She also really, really, really didn’t look like a ghoul. In the club’s flashing lights, she had looked… different. Gaunt, pale, sickly. But, then again, everything had looked strange in that light. Here, in the sunlight, she looked... well, normal. Even more normal than Wander.

Well, at least, judging by her muzzle, which was all I could see of her thanks to her uniform, form fitting mask, and built in goggles. Maybe everything else was the usual rot-and-decay? It wasn’t too unusual for a ghoul to have one healthy looking body part.

But like, that super sleek athletic build her form-fitting uniform showed off? Ghouls shouldn’t look that sexy… I mean fit!

Wander stood up the second I entered the doorway. “Gears! I— I’m sorry.”

Mare turned to Wander and glared at her. “You said she was hot.”

I felt my everything real back in confusion. She’d said what?!

Wander’s cheeks turned a bright red. “I— I mean… she is…”

“That’s not hot,” Mare objected while pointing to my flanks. “This makes normal-hot look ugly! What the hell, mare?! That’s just not fair to hot people!”

Wait… Did that mean she liked my looks? Hummmm! Possible opportunity?

”Do not flirt with the crazy mare who thinks she’s an old MoA agent!” Dad warned suddenly.

Why not?! I demanded.

”Either she’s crazy or she’s really MoA. Never stick your dick in crazy! Never even put your hooves on MoA.”

I don’t have one of those on me, dad… Also, Wander acted like she was really an agent.

Wander cleared her throat. “Sooo, did you call home and get some supplies?” Wander said as she pointed to my armor and Feature.

I shook my head. “No. I found them.”

Mare blinked and raised an eyebrow. “You just found a set of MAS security armor in near mint condition and they just happened to have a damn Bucking Bonnie on a shelf?”

Wander nodded, seemingly impressed. “Yeah, outside of the Rangers, those guns are beyond rare. I hope you got plenty of ammo for it.”

I frowned sharply. I had about 220 rounds left. This was several orders of magnitude too little for the threat we faced. This was why I asked Her Majesty for energy weapons for this mission. The only flaw with cannons is I can’t plug them into my saddle and wirelessly power them via my core through the saddle’s link module.

I nodded and smiled slightly, not sure if she wanted to know if she could get some too, or was just complimenting me. “Yeah. I stopped by the MAS facility in Filly. I had the key. The main armory was basically untouched.”

Mare looked over to Wander and smiled slightly. “Even I couldn't get inside there. If you had any doubts that she wasn’t telling you the truth, well…”

Wander snorted and rolled her eyes. “Nah. I believed her from the moment I had to fix her up a bit.”

Mare turned back to me and smiled, turning her hoof for me to shake. “Hey! I’m the second closest thing to a friend Wander has. You can call me Mare Do Well. I’m also in the ‘Pre-War Ghouls Who Obsessively Hide Their Identity Club.’ Founding member, actually.”

Wander blinked, then frowned. “This is the fifth time I’ve heard you make that joke in the last two hundred years. It’s not funny anymore.”

Mare tilted her head. “What joke? It’s a real club. There’s like, eight of us. I’d have made jackets but, you know, apocalypse. I even gave you our card, remember?”

Wander gave Mare the ‘are you serious or not?’ glare of confusion, then shook herself before turning back to me. “I— Gears, I messed up back there. Kinda bad. I’m sorry. Do you, uh... f— forgive me?”

I raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Mare. “Are you forcing her to do this?”

Mare shook her head. “Nah. I just gave her a ride down here. I don’t get to talk with friends much, so I waited with her for you… I’m going to get going, I have things to do, but first…”

She cleared her throat and took a few steps closer to me. “I wasn't around when Pip or Red-Eye were active. I woke up one morning and… Just kind of wanted to see how the rest of the world was doing. Spent a few decades just flying east. Hitting up all the old countries… Like, all of them.”

I frowned. “Uh, okay?”

“The point is, I didn’t get to help when the Enclave finally descended on Equestria. I feel bad about that. Really should have been here for it… Saw it coming. Now I see something else coming. Something’s brewing. Something big. I can feel it.”

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah. The Tainted ‘gang’ is more of an army. They had five hundred troops to deploy to try and take Filly by force just yesterday,” I said with a dead-sounding-voice.

Mare nodded and sighed. “Yeah. I finally finished getting an estimation of their size last week. They’ve got between eight and nine thousand troops. Not even kidding.”

Wander sputtered. “WHAT?! Nine thousand!?”

I shook my head incredulously. “There’s no way that can be right.”

Mare sighed and gave us both a very, very serious blank look. “I’ve been scouting them. They’ve easily got twice the troops the NCR has. It’s a problem… One I’ve been working on… Biggest problem is that the NCR, Los Pegasus, and The Herd don't trust each other enough to work together. Your queen getting them all in one room to try and get the best deal with her might be the only way we get them to talk to each other about the problem.

“If they don’t learn to set aside their differences, the Tainted could easily sweep in and carve out some major territory for themselves, maybe even do enough damage in the process to topple the NCR. Your mission is the one thing that can help me with mine. I’ve told Wander the route I’ll be traveling for a while. Follow her, or get her to draw you a map if you don't want her hanging around, and you’ll be near me at all times.”

Mare reached into a pocket in her cape and handed me a tiny little radio. “What this?” I asked.

“Old MoA Far-Speaker. Magic Radio. Secure link, extreme range, don’t lose it we can’t get more. Clip it somewhere that’s not on that Recollector you’re wearing for a tiara. That would be... bad. Just put it on someplace, tap it twice, tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll rush over to help if I can. Okay?”

I blinked. “Wait, really? If you’ll be that close, why not just travel with me?”

Wander and Mare laughed in unison. Wander recovered first and grinned at me. “Close is relative. Time is distance. Mare Do Well is famously fast.”

Mare nodded in agreement. “I may be a disabled veteran who isn’t anywhere near as fast as she used to be, but I can still just barely scrape supersonic if I push… Hurts like Tartarus though.”

I felt my head tilt more. “You… you can hit supersonic?!”

“Sure can! I was one of Equestria’s Gold Medalists in aerial racing at the Equestria Games, before the accident. Now? Now I’m just… pretty good at flying. Used to be one of the best...” Mare sighed and looked down.

I could almost feel the shame and loss radiating off her. I felt horrible for even nudging the conversation in a direction that made her think about whatever the heck had happened to her.

I looked up at Wander and flashed her a desperate look and mouthed ‘help!’

Wander cleared her throat. “So, Gears… What do you know about ghouls?”

Topic change. Good enough!

I shrugged. “Not too much? Other than what you told me about why you get ghouls with varying levels of visible damage, the facts that they are ageless and need to eat radiation to live… and that they are all kinda cute—”

Mare’s head popped up. “Kinda cute?! Have you seen most of us?”

I nodded and smiled. “Mhm! I think the bare chassis look is cool on pony forms, and it’s not like ghouls are in pain because of it. It’s also kind of cute.”

It was neat to get to watch meat-ponies’ mechanics at work. I knew how I moved and worked, and ghouls let me know how ponies worked. The sloshy-jiggly-squishy bits all working together in harmony was truly amazing, cool, and… yeah, kind of cute!

“Elaborate,” Mare demanded.

“Oh,” I blushed, worried that my tone of voice hasn't explained it properly. “Not adorable cute. More like ‘aww, look at all those little fibers pulling together. They’re working so hard! Good girls! You go! Move that leg!’ You know? Like watching a bunch of ants work together to move sticks off their nest.”

Even with Mare’s reflective silver goggles, I could tells he was blinking incredulously at me. “Ooohhh… Right. You’re a robot!”

“Cyborg,” I corrected.

“Robot,” she objected. “The pelt you're wrapped in is dead and preserved with a necromancy charm, right? If that makes you a cyborg then any machine with leather as a covering, or bearing, or other part is a cyborg too.”

Deciding to intentionally ignore the necromancy can of bees that Mare was threatening to open up because I really, really, really didn’t want to open that one up, ever, I decided to focus on the core of the argument.

I raised a hoof to object, but Mare continued. “Besides, Equoid fits you much better, as you are a machine designed to imitate a zebra.”

I frowned in thought then nodded, acquiescing with a sigh. “Okay, that’s a good point, but… Cyborg sounds cooler.”

To my surprise, Mare nodded in agreement. “Yeah, fair. It is at least twenty percent cooler… Okay, Gears the Sexy Cyborg, back on topic we go,” Mare nodded to Wander. “Cuteness. Explain. Please.”

Wander nodde dan gestured to the bus stop’s singular wall-length wooden bench. I took a seat on the rough span of timber. Mare joined me, sitting a bit closer than I think most ponies would. Wander remained standing so she could face us.

Wander took a breath, then continued. “We ghouls worked out how we're made over the centuries. Nopony else was really interested. We’re made by a similar magical effect to poison joke. A flaw in the core design of megaspells. All of them produce magical radiation. All of them. Not just Balefire and Pink Cloud.

“Your most common ghoul in Equestria is a Balefire Ghoul, or just a Ghoul since the most common of a thing gets dibs on the noun. Balefire is a spell that destroys everything. The perfect weapon. It makes ghouls that look like classic zombies because that’s ironic. A spell meant to kill everything kills something… but also doesn't. It’s a mockery of the concept of Balefire.

“Pink Cloud melts things down to nothing. It works on everything. Canterlot Ghouls are stuck to things, but that’s not the main effect. Just a consequence of melting when being ghoulified. The real joke is that Canterlot Ghouls regenerate. It’s ironic, see? A spell meant to make everything dissolve instead heals you. A mockery of the concept of Pink Cloud.”

I nodded, understanding the concept completely and uncomfortably realizing that Celestia Prime’s ghouls probably just kept burning forever... “So, uh… W— When a megaspell makes ghouls, their properties and abilities are determined by whatever is most ironic for the spell the megaspell is amplifying?”

”Well that explains it.”

Explains what, Imaginary Dad?

”... Nothing, sweetie. Don’t worry about it.”

Mare nodded once and sighed. “Yep. I was turned by a healing spell. What’s the worst twist you can put into the concept of healing?”

I winced as a few truly horrible things one could force a pony to endure for eternity flashed through my head. “No! I don’t want to think about that!”

“It hurts you instead, right?” Mare pressed. “That’s what you’re thinking of, right?”

I nodded.

“Well, you’re wrong,” she said bitterly. “There’s a much worse way to twist it.”

I could sense she wasn’t about to tell me what it was. I didn’t want to know, in truth. If baelfire's cruel twist was “make a zombie”, something as pure and good as healing twisted would be so much w—

Wander trotted up to me, put her mouth near my heart and whispered. “Mare looks normal on the surface, but she can’t die, and she’ll never be whole again. She’s in half-healed limbo, forever. That’s her unique ghoul thing. I’ve seen her regenerate once. She screamed the whole time.”

EXECUTING HUG_THE_PONY.CS!

I took a step forward and hugged Mare to my chest as hard as I could.

It wasn’t like hugging a normal pony. Mare was smooshy. Like… It felt like hugging a huge stuffed animal with a skeleton in it. It was awesome!

It also proved she was some kind of ghoul. But even more squishy-soft. Like a big pillow, or plushie, rather than wet meat.

Poor thing! She really was in some kind of healing-limbo, and clearly her inside parts didn’t quite heal right. Meat shouldn’t feel like this to hug!

I proceed to engaged maximum overhug.

“ACK! ROBO-STRENGTH!” Mare squeaked adorably. “WANDER! HELP! I’M GONNA DIE!”

I blushed and let go of her and took a step back. “S— Sorry… You are all squish, and… Um… You know, fun to hug!”

Mare awkwardly shuffled her hooves, her body slowly filling back out to its normal shape. “Uh… Yeah…” She gave me the sheepishest of smiles then looked over to Wander and said something so fast I almost couldn't catch it. Almost.

“Hey-so-you’re-super-lucky-we’re-friends-and-I-have-to-go-do-things-elsewhere-or-I’d-totally-steal-your-crush. Bye!”

Before I could even blink, she jumped, snapped her wings open, and was gone, leaving behind an actual afterimage from her sheer speed as she managed to leave between the capture framerate of my Sweetie Eyes.

Something went boom in the sky above.

Holy Celestia’s Cake Knife, she really could break the sound barrier!

“Woah!” I exclaimed, turning to watch her fly away… and completely missing her.

Flap-flap-mare. Was. Fasts!

Also smooshy.

My ears drooped. I wanted to hug her more. It was nice and I still felt bad because Roll died and… I needed hugs too…

Come back! Homage said multiple marefriends are okay, and— WAIT!

I spun on my hooves to look at Wander. “Crush?”

Wander took a deep breath. “Well… yeah. But, like, you’re dead set on only going for stallions, and also probably hate me now for abandoning you.”

I trotted over to her and gave her a hug. Mostly because I hadn’t gotten enough hug just now.

Wander was not as squish… But still nice to hug.

“I don’t hate you…” I said as I let go. “I’m… hurt, and upset, but I don’t hate you.”

Wander nodded and sighed, and I literally saw the tension leaving her body. “Thank Luna… I— I know I don’t deserve a special somepony, but… I— I like to think that, you know, maybe we could be together. You’re pretty, and after two centuries I really don't care if you're not an organic person. Hell, Mare’s the same way. We’re too old to be picky.”

I coughed into my hoof. “Actually, I decided to flip the preference coin again because Homage was flirting with me, so I like mares now.”

Wander paused, stared at me for several long moments. Then sighed. “You don't need to say things like that to make me happy. I’m the one in the wrong here. I overreacted.”

“No. I really did,” I said deciding I had to prove it. “For example, Mare’s got a very nice sleek athletic body, and did you see those wings?”

Wander frowned slightly and shuffled her forehooves. “D— Do you think I look nice?” she asked hopefully.

I could tell that asking was hard for her, but clearly hanging out with an old friend had helped. If only she’d done that hundreds of years ago… But, well, in her defense it was very hard for a ghoul to change their mind about anything.

I bit my lip and shrugged. “Sorry, I—”

Wander hung her head and sighed. “Yeah… I know… Ugly.”

“Um, actually, I have no idea what you look like,” I elaborated.

Wander looked back up. “What do you mean? You can see me right now!”

I gave her my best deadpan stare. “Jumpsuit. Cloak. Hood. Scarf. At least two layers of cloth under that, plus armor plates you’ve got sewn in along your barrel, and pads on your legs and withers. I know what your eyes look like. That’s about it.”

“Oh… Right,” Wander groaned facehooving.

“Besides,” I stood up for a moment to grab an empty crate somepony had covered in an oil-stained tarp to use as a table and gave it a kick to slide it over towards the bench. “What’s really important is who a pony is. Not what they look like… And, well, I like you.”

I flashed her a little smile. Wander sputtered and took a step back.

“Um, I— Good, but also bad! I don't deserve—”

I gave her an angry glare. I’d had enough of her “I’m a monster” horseapples! I’d met a real monster yesterday. Wander comparing herself to him? Unacceptable!

”Damn, sweetie! When did you drink a potion of courage?”

Swigged it when she said she has a crush on me. I failed to score with Homage. I failed again back at that party. Life is clearly throwing me chances after all these years for some reason and I am not letting this one slip by like the other two!

”Whaaat about your cannon? I know you want to hump her.”

She can’t consent yet so that would be evil.

”That’s all that’s stopping you, isn’t it?”

Yes. Now shut up! I need to fix a broken mare who likes me and who I like back!

I stood up and walked over to her so I could look her right in the eyes. “Wander! I almost died twice yesterday! I made a friend. She died saving me! The pony who killed her and tried to kill me was a real monster. You? You’re a mare who made mistakes and feels bad about them! You’re trying to atone. That means you’re a good pony who did a bad thing!”

Wander started to shake her head. I grabbed it so she had to keep eye contact. “Want to know what a real monster does? A real monster guns down over a hundred ponies and then says they did the right thing and were proud of it!”

Wander winced and nodded. “Yeah, but—”

I stepped forward and poked a hoof into her barrel. I wasn’t done yet! “Then they chase a fleeing mare and filly down and blow the mare’s leg off while having the time of their lives! Then, they grab that filly by the face and use her as a hostage, tell you they will give you her back, and cut her in half with a teleport to make that into a horrible twisted evil pun!”

Wander flinched.

I continued. Still not done! “I know that. I saw all of it. I lived all of it! I was that mare! You’re not a monster, Wander! Monster’s don't feel bad about the things they do. That’s what makes a monster monstrous. You’re good! You’re nice! You’re trying to make amends for things you did, like a person. A good one. One who cares about others. That makes you good! Deal with it!”

“I— I—” Wander stammered, giving me the most distressed look I had ever seen on a pony ever.

NO! None of that! SHAME ON YOU!

I leaned until my forehead was pressing against hers, and deepened my glare configuration to the maximum setting. Normally, I reserved this setting for staring down Windigos. I was a little worried it was going to fall short anyways.

“Deal. With. It!” I demanded.

Wander squeaked. “B— But I—”

Oh. My. Celestia! Just saying it didn’t work. She needed to live it! Ugh! If only she had been with me in F—

Wait. I was still wearing that Recollector. Roll packed up mom’s stuff for me. I had both of the memory orbs. One was just mom talking about where she hid the other orb. She wouldn’t need to remember that. I could record over it.

Tatic change!

I let go of Wander and sighed, closing my eyes tightly. “Wander. Do you see how angry your horseapples is making me?”

She nodded. “Y— Yes.”

“I know ghouls can be a bit... stubborn. If I recorded a memory with this Recollector, will you watch it?” I asked as calmly as i could.

She nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“Good,” I said as I rummaged in my saddlebag and took out the spare memory orb.

Wander blinked. “Wait, what’s on that?”

“My mom telling herself where she stored a password,” I replied as I slotted the gemstone into the center of my headband. “The other orb is the password. This one is fine for me to use.”

Then I focused on it.

☢★★◯★★☢

I came to some time later. The sun was a bit brighter. I’d say around noon.

I sat up and frowned. “Wait, what?! It took that long to just record?!”

Wander nodded. “Mhm. Real time recording and viewing,” she said with a sigh before looking at me. “Gears… I’ll watch it. But what I see in there won't fix me. I’m still a monster.”

I rolled my eyes and took the orb out and held it out to her. “Abomination? Yes. Monster, no. But then again, so am I according to Classical Thaumaturgic Physics.”

Mostly because I use necromancy to make at least one core system work… hahaha… Noooot thinking about that!

Wander took the orb from me in her telekinetic grasp, sighed, focused on it… and then very very creepily just kind of froze, staring into the orb.

Oh… Is that how I looked for hours? Well. That sucked. Hopefully I wasn't staring at her like that the whole time.

I trotted over to the corner of the bus stop so I wouldn’t be in Wander’s line of sight, sat down, and waited for her to finish.

☢★★◯★★☢

The afternoon sun was starting to dip down in the sky by the time Wander moved again. She set the orb down on the little makeshift table. Then she sat down, and just started to cry.

My ears and tail raised in alarm. That was not what I intended to have happen!

I rushed to her side and wrapped my forelegs around her in a tight hug. To my surprise, Wander hugged me back instantly.

“I— I had no sense of scale…” Wander stammered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Y— you’re right, Gears… You’re right…”

I nodded and whispered. “Gale is a monster…”

“No!” Wander objected standing up to look me in the eyes. “No he is not! At least, he is, but not of… Oh, Celestia, that you had to see all of this… I—”

Wander took a moment to hold her head in her hooves then look over at me, still crying. “He was made into a monster, Gears! That moment when he hesitated on the hotel roof. You saw something was wrong with his eyes, right? You thought he got a hit of adrenaline. No! No he did not!”

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “What are you saying?”

Wander took a deep breath. “So, you know how I ran nightclubs? I know all of the drugs, Gears. I tried them all at least once, and if I didn’t do them regularly, I at least knew ponies who did. He’s on one hell of a cocktail, Gears! Not like, combat stims either. Or at least, not just combat stims.

“I’m saying whoever found that stallion and replaced his suit’s medical system with several different drugs, including Rage. I’ve done plenty of Rage. Composed an album on it, even. I know what it does to you long term, and more importantly, I know what it does to your eyes when you're on it.”

Wander pointed towards Fillydelphia. “Whoever ordered him to teleport back to base has that stallion on a drug that turns your aggression up to eleven, while dialing your intellect down to, like, five tops. Based on how little he reacted to getting a hole blown through his wing, he’s also on a Med-X drip feed, which I can tell you for sure dampens your intellectual capacity, to be generous.

“At that point, you need to bring the brain back up to at least pony level intellect because you’ll basically be an animal on a blend of those two drugs at once, trust me, I know, I did them like that twice and the second time I actually chewed up an antique sofa. He’s probably also being amped up on Dash to give him that edge. If he’s lucky, or we’re unlucky, it’s a nearly even mix of Stampede and Dash. Without properly mixing everything you get these horrible side effects, like paranoia, delusions of reference, hallucinations, and—”

Wander closed her eyes tightly for a long moment then looked me in the eyes. “Gears… Somepony made Gale into what he is right now. That pony is twice the monster he is… and I— W— What…”

Her face scrunched up into a distressed grimace. “What I did is nothing compared to making a powerful psychopath even worse and unleashing them on a city!”

I gave Wander another hug and pulled her close to me so I could rest my muzzle against her neck, burying my nose in the layers of her scarf. “See? You’re not a monster.”

Wander nodded, then gently pulled away from me. “No… No I’m not. Not by Wasteland standards. Equestria standards, yeah… But we’re not in Equestria anymore. It died two hundred years ago.”

She took a deep breath and I smiled as warmth began to fill my core. I’d done it! I’d gotten her to move through her torment! Now she could finally start to heal.

“I am, however, a pretty shitty friend,” Wander said with a defeated sigh.

My ears perked in shock. “What?! NO!”

She turned and glared at me. “I am! I left you alone to face that just because you brought a pony I didn’t expect along to meet me. I never said you couldn’t bring anypony. I never told you why that would be bad. I totally exploded on you. That’s not okay. You didn’t know that I would be angry and hurt. I failed to communicate. I then abandoned you in a land I know you know nothing about over it. I was a shitty friend, and I need to apologize for it properly so I can work on fixing the real problem I have… Which is just being a shitty friend, not being an actual monster!”

I smiled, my ears perking with joy. “It worked! Yay!”

Wander rolled her eyes. “Yes. You and D— Uh, you and Mare, brought me around. Mostly you… W— Which is— Um…” Wander blushed and took a deep breath. “I— I like you because… Because you wanted to help me. Even before… Just now.”

I nodded and set a hoof on her shoulder. “Of course. Everyone deserves a good friend. Everyone needs some help.”

Wander closed her eyes. “Then let me apologize. Properly.”

I bit my lip then nodded. “Okay, but first, you should know what else happened because you left me and I didn’t have a local guide.”

Wander’s eyes opened with a look of horror. “W— What?! It’s worse than getting stuck in that battle, getting your leg blown off, and learning your uncle is alive but a literal bucking monster?!”

I nodded. “Oh yeah. A lot. You forget, that memory orb started off with me basically totaled.”

Wander’s left eye squinted shut while her right eye widened and her lips parted in the sharpest frown. “OH! Oh, buck… Yeah… Yeah it did… What the buck happened?”

I took a deep breath and sat down. “So… I started down the road to fillydelphia. Long story short, I walked into Applewood following cart tracks and got my skin ripped off by hungry ghouls. I had to keep ripping bits off and throwing them as distractions to escape.”

Wander winced. “I mentioned Applewood before we reached the tower… I told you it was only slightly better now than before the war.”

“I refuse to believe that is true,” I said with a deadpan glare configuration.

“It’s true,” Wander insisted, her tail swishing behind her with a weirdly worried little quaver.

“... Moving on, after the ghouls, I was ambushed by a Tainted squad sent specifically to kill me, shot full of holes by their snipers, then burnt half to death by a mare with a flamethrower—”

“Luna’s tits!” Wander yelped. “Where did they even find fuel for that thing?!”

“That’s your first question?” I asked slowly.

Wander nodded. “Yes! Red Eye hoarded the stuff for years. His army used it to burn down the Everfree Forest. Ponies everywhere have been scrapping flamers for years because the fuel is impossible to find now. I believe you when you say the Tainted had one, but that might have been the last bucket flamer fuel on Equis they used trying to broil you.”

I closed my eyes and growled to myself. “Oh. Lucky me then…”

I took a moment and then continued. “Then Pip, probably angry that her wife flirted with me, hit me with a flash flood out of nowhere and I got bashed all over a bunch of rocks… At the end of all that, I was out of coolant entirely, using pond water as hydraulic fluid, literally held together by duct tape from a fetish shop’s panty supplies in several critical places, and so close to dead I could take half of a step every other minute, and everything I could still feel hurt! Stuff I couldn’t even feel anymore hurt even worse!”

Wander’s head dipped as she stared at the floor for a long moment. “I— I’m sorry, Gears. I shouldn't have left you. I could have guided you safely through all of those dangers. It was my fault you got hurt. I’ll— If you give me a chance, I’ll make sure you never face anything like that alone. Ever again.”

I sighed and stood up to tilt her head back so I could look her in the eyes. “Wander… I understand you have problems with your old identity. I am upset that you left, but I understand why and can’t really hold it against you much… But what I can hold against you? What I will judge you for? It’s the fact that you met back up with me days further down the road. You were waiting for me!”

Wander sighed. “You’re upset I didn’t come back sooner?”

I nodded.

Wander’s shoulders slumped, her ears flat against her head. “I could have tried harder to find you… I admit that. Can I tell you what I did?” She asked quietly.

“Of course you can. We’re trying to work through this, right?” I asked as I sat back down on the bench.

I wasn’t really mad. Sure, I was hurt she’d left like that, but I’d already forgiven her. Unfortunately, I just knew she needed to feel like she was really being forgiven. A ‘nothing was wrong’ would feel like a hollow platitude. If our friendship was going to be restored, or ever became something more, she had to feel like I had been angry with her, then truly forgave her.

While Wander was normally very perceptive… With her this distraught, this might be the only time I could ever pull a fast one on her like this. Also the only time I really needed to. This was for her own good. I couldn't buck it up!

Wander sat up and looked me in the eyes. “I— I wandered… like I do. I’d realized I bucked up about ten minutes after I ran out of there. I— I didn’t turn back because, well… I smoke bombed! You can't just go back after that! The exit’s too dramatic. It would be the most awkward thing ever!”

I gave wander a little incredulous glare. “Really?”

She nodded. “Yeah… Look, if you ever smoke bomb out of something, you’ll understand, okay?”

I frowned and flicked my tail. She sounded so sincere about that. “Well, okay… What happened after that?”

Wander’s face scrunched up again. “I re— rea— realized you’re... You’re m— my f—”

Her muzzle scrunch twisted into a genuinely pained expression. Like she was passing a kidney stone the size of a golf ball. “Ffff— Friend.”

I winced. Her issues with that word ran way deeper than I’d realized!

Wander took a long moment to recover from saying the ‘f word’. Then, with a long sigh and a shaky smile in my direction, she continued. “I knew you’d go to Filly, and the highway is the most logical road to take on your way out of it. So I got, uh… ‘Mare’ to fly me out here. She’s real fast. Knew I’d make it here before you, knew you’d come this way, so I waited here. We waited here. For... two days.”

Wander looked down at the floor again for a moment, then back up at me. “I’m sorry you got hurt. I’m a shit friend. I was before the war, and I still am now… I don’t... I don't deserve friends. Not because I’m a monster, bit because I always hurt them. That’s why I wander alone. But—”

“But you really want that amulet, right?” I asked, face carefully blank.

Hopefully, that wasn’t the only re— No! No Mare said she had a crush on me.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah I do,” Wander said with a sharp nod, though her ears were askew with uncertainty for a moment. “It will give me enough time to learn to be a better pony than I am. It’s hard for any ghoul to change. We get stuck in our ways. Not just from age, but because our insides are as bucked up as our outsides. I was trying to change before I turned, so I think I might have a shot, but if I hadn’t been…”

I nodded and rested a hoof on her shoulder. “I know. I also know ghouls that have changed tons over the years. It’s not impossible, and you can do it if you really try!”

“So... you do forgive me, right?” Wander asked hopefully.

I paused for a moment and debated my options. How would I make this all feel real to her? How do I make it stick?

Ah. That’s how!

I looked Wander in the eyes and smiled. “Wander, I forgive you. That doesn't make it okay, but I forgive you. We can be friends. You can have a chance to make up for your mistakes.”

Wander’s lips parted in a shaky smile for a moment, then she lunged forwards and hugged me tightly to her chest. “Thank you…”

I hugged her back, then let go and offered her a kind smile. “So… We’ve been here most of the day. We should get going. Lead the way?”

Wander bit her lip then shook her head. “No! Not yet. I— I want to know if there’s anything I can say, to help smooth things over? Or is it only actions that will do it?”

Ooo! A chance to learn something about her! … No, let’s not be mean. But, since she offered, let’s not be rude either.

“It will take time for everything to be perfect, Wander,” I said as kindly and firmly as I could. “But, I can think of one thing.”

Wander’s eyes widened. “Oh… Please not my old name!” she begged, pleading at me with her eyes. “I’m really not that pony anymore…. Or, well… Not right now, at least. I— I felt good in my old club… With an old friend. I— I can’t go back yet. Maybe soon. Not now.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to know at all. I didn't care about who she was back then. I wanted to be here for the mare she was right now.

“I really don't care who you were,” I answered truthfully. “I like you! I just want to know why exactly why you care so much about ponies finding you out that you’d run away from a mare you have a crush on who only wants to be your friend, maybe more, just because she brought a pony to you who, by the way, also had no idea who you were.”

Wander triple blinked. “What?! Homage… Homage didn’t know?”

I nodded. “That’s what she told me, and I’m pretty sure your ballad mentioned that she doesn’t lie.”

Wander frowned and tilted her head. “But… She plays some of my old music sometimes! I— How does she not…” Wander took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well, that’s a load off my mind…”

She looked up at me and squirmed nervously. “As for what you asked… It’s really just because I feel like I don’t deserve to have friends. Not that… Not that I don't want you to be my friend. I just feel like I haven't earned that, karmically speaking. See, I was famous before the war, and if ponies knew who I used to be, it would color all their impressions and they’d try to treat me like someone worth a buck. I know I don't deserve that. Not yet, anyways.”

Okay! More repair work needed. Or perhaps, maybe I need to make my ‘repair’ stick a bit better.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly. “So, because you abandoned some friends once and regretted it so badly that you walked snout first into a chemical weapon, then stayed at their corpses’ side for so long you became one of the undead, you think you don’t deserve friendship?”

Wander frowned and slowly nodded. “Well… It sounds stupid when you say it like that. But… Yes? Yes.”

I shook my head, sighed, and hugged Wander again. “Wander, if they were alive, they would have forgiven you the moment you faced the pink cloud for them.”

Wander laughed and shook her head. “Oh, buck no they would not!” she said, still laughing.

I let her laugh for a while. Wander stopped chuckling and stepped back to flash me a genuine smile. “I mean, sure! My wife would have, and one of my friends, maybe. The other? Hay no! She’d demand I perform some convoluted penance quest with arbitrary restrictions. I forgot her birthday once, and she wouldn’t speak to me until I went to a shop in Manehattan and bought her a toy she was too embarrassed to buy herself. Wearing three umbrellas and a T-Shirt promoting a weird fandom she was into.”

I triple blinked and giggled, then covered my mouth with a hoof. “Really?”

Wander nodded again, her smile persisting. “Yeah… You remind me of her a lot. Actions mean more than words to you both... May I ask something now?”

“Of course.”

Wanderer trotted across the bus stop, taking a moment to search for words. “It always sucks when a SWAT Filly dies. They just… They’re all so energetic and upbeat. They really genuinely come across as wanting to be real heroes and fix the world. Watching one die is… really bad. You— You didn’t just watch one die. You were her friend. How are you, like… functioning right now? Like, as a person?”

I frowned as I realized I should have included that part of yesterday in the memory orb. I debated making an updated recording to let Wander see for herself in context, but realized that would take hours to set up and then let her view.

“Remember that griffon on the roof? Sviatoslav? He told me how the Talons deal with loss,” I replied slowly so Wander couldn’t possibly misinterpret anything I was about to say. “You remember their life, celebrate it. Focus on the good times you had, and resolve to keep their spirit alive by doing things you think they would do. Not all the time, you don't obsess, but you let them be an influence on you.”

Wander looked off into the distance thoughtfully. “That… That sounds nice, actually.”

I gave her a few moments to think about applying that logic to her own losses. If it had helped me, it could help her too. Maybe.

Unfortunately, Wander mentioning Roll had set a question burning in my own mind, and I knew she would have the answer. After five minutes of contemplative silence, I couldn't wait any longer, and asked. “So, SWAT Fillies… What’s the deal with them?”

Wander’s ears perked up and I could sense she was just happy to tell me another story about the Wasteland by the look in her eyes. She cleared her throat and sat down, smiling.

She took her guitar out from under her cloak, and strummed it without any particular melody in mind. Even without being a proper song, it was lovely to hear her voice backed by strings.

“When the Herd was first moving west, they found an intact police training compound in the Fetlock Mountains,” she began. “It was automated, but the computers had glitched out. Instead of denying minors entry and permitting adults in, it only accepted foals and young mares.

“Anypony younger than eighteen can enter it, but the pre-war tech in there only trains the ones it deems worthy. A lot of young ponies have run away from home to go there to try and become heroes. Some of them are pretty good at it.

“The best ones get selected by the computer to go train with an ‘Uncle Lift’ and become SWAT Fillies. The rest of them rarely leave, choosing instead to help train the best to be even better, or to help keep the compound running. The SWAT Fillies themselves hold no allegiance to anything other than the concepts of justice and heroics. Once trained, they leave, roaming the lands to try and make things safer for everypony. That’s another reason it sucks to see one die.”

Her strumming died down, ending on a bit of a sad note, and with a single fluid motion Wander put the guitar away. I nodded slowly, mostly to conceal my awkward expression as I forced myself to not mention that they were apparently being trained by a simulation of my dad.

”Awww, come on! Tell her! Even in death, I serve the Princess. It’s cool!” Dad pleaded.

I don’t want to distract her too much, I need to make sure she’s really better and not just pretending so I’ll let her stay with me.

“Yeah… it does,” I agreed as I pulled my head up from the nod. “But we shouldn’t be sad she died. We should be happy she lived, and celebrate what she did with her life.”

Wander chuckled and shuffled a hoof. “Yeah. That will be good practice for trying it with… With them.”

I frowned as something occurred to me. “You know… Now that I think about it, a long time ago you mentioned something about… a mission, I think? Something you were doing for your old friends.”

Wander winced. “I uh, yeah… Mentioned the deal, didn’t I? Buck!” she growled and stamped a hoof angrily. “Normally I’m smoother than that. I blame your fla— distracting… eyes.”

She faked a cough and adjusted her scarf to further hide what must have been quite a blush.

”Gears… Please, repeat after me, don't think about it, just do it. I promise this will help you patch things up with her, okay?”

I frowned. They often said your subconscious had better ideas than you do sometimes. I also usually mess social situations up if they weren't involved with my job… Why not?

I set a hoof on Wander’s shoulder and mindlessly repeated what imaginary dad said word for word. “Wander, if you want to be my marefriend, we should be more open with each other. You can tell me what your mission is. Maybe I can help while we’re traveling together.”

ACK! DAD! WHY?! I WASN’T READY TO SAY THAT!

”Yes you were!” he disagreed.

Wander’s eyes practically popped out of her head. “I— I— I— Uh—- Um— I—” She Inhaled sharply and flashed me the biggest smile I had ever seen her make. “Sure! I think I can do that… Not, uh, not right now. Give me a minute or two to process… that!”

I nodded. I needed a minute to process it myself…

”Oh, buck you! I’m just trying to help you with that whole ‘Woe is me, I can't get laid.’ problem of yours!” Dad huffed in my mind.

Wander took a deep breath. “Can we do a quick trust exercise?” She asked hopefully.

I nodded and smiled, glad she was moving on. “Yes! What do you have in mind?”

Wander reached beneath her cloak with her magic and offered me a small revolver. “Shoot me.”

I pushed the gun away and looked at her, concerned. “What?! No!”

Wander pressed the gun’s trigger grip against my hooves and looked me in the eyes. “I’m serious. You’re upset at me, I deserve a little pain… I made you face an ambush alone, and you got your skin melted off! Shoot me.”

“You’re helping me again!” I protested, shaking my head almost violently, my tail hiked in alarm. “I’m not shooting you, you’ll need a week of bed rest to be able to move again!”

Wander blinked then pointed to herself while staring at me like I was an idiot. “Canterlot. Ghoul. I’ll be fine in moments. It’s just a little pain while the damage lasts.”

I pushed the pistol away, this time knocking it out of her arcane grip so it clattered across the worn concrete floor. “No! I’m not going to.”

Wander smiled and picked the gun back up, tucking it away. “And now I can trust you to not hold a grudge,” she said confidently.

I blinked and looked at her in shock. “T— that’s what you wanted to know?!”

She nodded. “Mhm. If you’d shot me, that would have meant you were just manipulating my feelings to get laid. I know you’re a little obsessive about that. Now I know you actually have feelings for me… That’s…” she paused and sighed. “A little uncomfortable… But I like you. Even though I don't deserve to be liked. So… I’m pushing through it. It’s hard. I… I needed that extreme test. Okay?”

I nodded understandingly. “I understand… I also think I know a bit about your mission.”

Wander shook her head. “You probably have a small idea…”

“You're questing for redemption, aren't you? You think you need to earn their friendship back somehow,” I proposed.

Wander silently nodded. I’d gotten it exactly.

Poop… This… This was going to be a problem. For an obvious reason.

I trotted over to Wander and gently hugged her left side. “Wander… They are dead. Unless you’re a really powerful shaman, I don't see how you could even let them know what you were up to.”

Wander’s ears perked enough to push her hood upwards. “Hey! You can help! You’re a zebra! You mentioned sensing spirits. You’re also a spirit, so I imagine you’re even better than a meat-zebra! Could you talk to them for me?”

Oh, great! She just had to ask about that.

I shook my head no and bit my lip to prevent myself from wincing. “Uh… I’m actually pretty bad at Shamanism… I know how to go about it, even how to brew the potions required, but um, it probably wouldn’t work if I tried to strike up a conversation with any of them. Not after so long.”

Wander closed her eyes for a moment as if thinking hard. When she opened them, she had a desperate look on her face. “Could… Could you at least tell me if I’m crazy or not?”

I couldn't help but snicker and give her another little squeeze. “Dammit, Wander! I’m a courier, not a psychiatrist.”

“But you can talk to spirits, right? Not like ghosts. I mean spirit spirits. Nature spirits. The kind you’d use to enchant something,” Wander clarified unnecessarily.

“Duh. I am one,” I said with a little smile.

Wander’s magic reached beneath her scarf and took out the guitar pick necklace she wore around her neck. With it exposed this close to my face, I could instantly sense the entity lurking within. At this distance, its presence was overwhelming, and made me feel a bit unsafe…

Wander held the pick up between us and looked me in the eyes, her own seeming to bleed desperation. “Is there a spirit in this, and if so, how powerful is it?”

I couldn’t help but recoil from the necklace when she tried to offer it to me.

Wander’s desperate look turned to one of surprise, followed quickly by relief. “Oh thank, Luna!”

I took a deep, unnecessary breath. “Yeah… So… There is absolutely a spirit in there. I’ve felt it boost your magic before. It’s stronger than I am, by a lot. I can’t tell you how much. I have very little experience with spirits more powerful than myself by more than, say, a factor of three.”

Wander nodded. “Could you tell me if it could do certain things?”

I shrugged. “Depends? … Can you guarantee it won't eat me?”

Wander blinked then looked at the pick, seemingly concentrating hard for several seconds. “He said he can’t eat you, you’re too thick.”

“Yeah that’s a lie,” I objected with a wince.

Wander frowned. “Is it? I mean, he’s hurt.”

“... Hurt?” I asked slowly.

Wander nodded. “Yeah… I found him in Canterlot. We made a deal. No, a pact, he called it. I help him get enough power back to heal himself and… and he promised he’d let me see my friends again so I can apologize.”

I took a deep breath. It was time for Nature Spirit 101.

“Ookay!” I said with a shaky warbly voice. “First of all, that is not how offerings and bargains work. A real physical thing must be offered, and the spirit consumes it, gaining power equal to how much the mortal valued that thing. A stallion offering a pile of gems and a little filly offering her cute pegasus plushie can provide the same amount of power because they value their offerings just as much, though by convention gems are used because they’re easy to see as valuable. Once accepted, an offered item decays to nothing but spirit power and void-stuff rapidly, unless the spirit moves into it as a new home… So, with this arrangement, you’re not offering up anything physical to him for power, and—”

Wander looked unfocused for a moment then turned back to me. “He says he’s old enough to strike other kinds of bargains. Is that a real thing?”

I felt my core run cold as a wave of terror washed over me. It was indeed a real thing, but the list of spirits with power like that was… short. Short and not safe for something like me to stay near.

“Yes…” I squeaked, staring in terror at the amulet. “If he’s positively ancient… Like, I can’t do that without this body… and I was first manifested in the mortal realm during the bucking early bronze age, Wander!”

Wander looked between me and the pick nervously. “I um… Would you be okay like, talking to him yourself and finding out?”

“No,” I answered truthfully. “But… I really need to know if I’m actually safe, or at the very least, know what you’re carrying around on your neck, especially if he’s that old!”

Seriously. If Wander had found a spirit so ancient and powerful that even as a broken fragments of the being it once was it could still make a bucking pact...

I held out my hoof. “I will need to touch it. If I start to scream and writhe in pain, pull it away from me. That means he’s eating me. I might just scream in terror, ignore that. Just… if screaming and writhing starts, take it away.”

Wander nodded. “I promise,” she said as she held out the tooth.

I trusted her.

I took a deep breath, reached out, and touched the tooth.

I didn't need to push at it with my magic. I didn’t even get a chance to. It pushed its magic into me.

A rolling, boiling, ever shifting sea of madness engulfed me as if I had walked off the side of a ship into the sea. Everything that made sense stopped making sense. Everything which made no sense started falling into place like solved pieces of a puzzle. Then, halfway through, they switched back. Then they switched again, and again, and again.

Order was dead! Order was dead, and the universe feasted on its corpse and laughed!

The tooth emerged from the madness. Not stone, but enamel, flesh, and blood. It was attached to an ever shifting ball of purest madness which maintained the vague shape of an unidentifiable thing. As if an already indescribable creature had been mangled beyond recognition, and all which remained, all that existed to anchor it to reality, was that single broken-off tooth.

“O͡h c̶o̕m̧e͏ ̀n̛o̢w̨ y͞ou͠ ̢sil͜ly littl͝e th̸i͡ng̵.̴ I̶t's not t͡h̡a͝t ͡b̢a͘d h͘er͠è,” it said in a snide, bored, and bemused sounding medley of voices.

Which also radiated impossible power! OH SWEET CELESTIA I’M GONNA DIE!

The thing of chaos itself laughed at me. “̕Th̕e gho͘ul͡ a̷nd ̵I͜ are͟ ͢f̸r̷i̢en̶ds̵... ͏E̸ve͡n̨ if҉ ҉s͝h̶e wi̢l҉l ńev͢er̴ ͝admi͝t ͢i͜t.̛ E͏ven ͢i͡f͢ ̀s̨h̀e di͟dn'̷t͠ lik͠e ҉yo͟u,̢ I̕ ̢ẁoul̢dn͜'t͘ bot͏her cónsuḿi͞ng̕ ̀you͠r͘ e̢s̶s͡e̕nce. ͞It ͞w͡o͏uld p̴r̷ovid̀è ̴me̶ ̢ẁiţh s͝o̴ ̸l̵įttle̛ s͘u̴stenan͟ce th̴a͝t͠ ͠t̨h̵e ͡mere a̷ct͜ o͘f ̛cons͟u̡m̵in҉ģ yo̢u͏ ͜wo̶u̸ld be͡ a̵ ͢net ̢lo҉s͢s ͜f͏or me̡. Wh́at y͜ơu s̸ens҉e҉ ̀is ͜ą f͝ragmen͏t of t͘h͞e ̸be̶in͢g̡ I o̴n͘c͟e ̵was̢.

“Ev̡en҉ now, I̷ a͟m͢ m͟o͜re͟ pow̸eŕful̵ th̸an ͟you͢ ̡coưĺd҉ ever d͡re҉a̷m of̷ ̷be͞įn̸g̴.͘.. Tho̡u̢g͟h th̴e ͢dam̷agè d̨on̵e̴ ͠t̛o ̴my ̷v͟èry͟ ̡es͜s͢e̕ņc҉e҉ h͜as ̷cr̡i͘p͢p̕le̸d ̛m͟e,̡ an̷d͘ ͟w͘i̶th͝o҉u͜t ţh͘e ̀ģhoul͘'̵s̶ help,̡ ̛Í wouĺd ͏hav͞e͜ ͠f́àd̨e̸d i̢n͟t͠o o͡b̴l̶i͘vi҉on. ̧D̵o̢ ̨ņo͜t͢ ęnter t̷he̡ ̕P͠i͜n̕k ͢C͟l͘o̶u̕d, ̕l͘ìtt͞l͞e͢ óne. ̧I͡t ͢is ͠more ̶da̕n͜gèr̸óus̨ to ͝us s͡pir̸it̵s͝ t̀ha̕n it ͟i̵s ̶tơ the m̧órţals.”

That made no sense at all! That wasn’t even how it worked! I knew how it worked, I had lived it for thousands of years.
̵
He laughed harder. “̷L͞ive amońg th̢e ͡mort̵a̶ls fo̴r̕ a f͘ew ͢bi̶lli̷on ͘yea͞r̸s̸, a͡n҉d ̧th͝e͞ r͞ul̢e͞s c̢hańge͏.̕ Y̧ou ͜hàv͝e ̢nothi͝ng to ̧f̡e͠ar ̴f̛r̶o͟m m͡è,̶ becaus̡e҉ ͘I̵ ͜a̛m͝ ̛b͞eyo̕n̵d́ ̢y͟o͠u..̸ I̵ gai̴n ́n̷oth͡i̡n҉g ̨by hu͟r͏t̷in̕g͘ y͞ou,͏ ̀an̶d ̨I ́owe̡ t̢hįs͘ mor͝t́a͜l̸ a҉ gr̢ea̸t̸ ̧d́ea̶l. ͡Şhe̵ ̷l̶i͏k͢ȩs ̛yoų.

“͞I͏t ̷w͏ill ̵ta͘kȩ ̷Áeons͡ ̷f͜o̕r̕ m͏e ̶t̢o ret̨urn to ͏wh͞a͞t I ̷o̡n͘ce͠ was͝.̧ H̴er t͏as̕k͡ i̶s ͡to̶ ́br͠ing m̧e en̷o͟ugh̷ ̧p̸ow̴er͠ To.͡.. s҉t̀o̡p̛ ̵t͘ḩȩ ̕b͏le̶e͜d̕ing, a͞ş i̕t̨ ̧we̸re͘.̶. ̀S̕h͡e̸ has ̶don̡e͟ ̴well, a͜nd will͏ o͢ne ̀ḑa̢y͞ soo͜n͝ e͘ar͡ǹ he̕r re͝w҉ar҉d̕.̷

“͘S͜p͘e̸akińg͟ ͘t̡o͜ ͝you̶ ̴ha̶s̢ ̨been͡.̸.̡.̴ ͝dr̵a̧i͞ning̸. ҉We͝ ͝w̕il͘l n͢éver͝ ̛s̛peak aga̶in.̨”

The creature made of madness reached out towards me with an impossible limb, nudged me like it was judging the weight of a rock before a throw, and pushed—

☢★★◯★★☢

“Hey!” Wander shouted, as she shook my shoulder. “Snap out of it, you’re sobbing! It’s okay! Nothing happened!”

I yelped and jumped up, having apparently fallen over, curled up into a ball, and shivered. “AAAAA! PLEASE DON’T—” I shrieked, stopping as I realized I wasn’t in the terror-scary maelstrom of terror anymore.

I tackled Wander, hugging her close.

Wander hugged me back. “Did… Did he hurt you?”

I shook my head. “No… No, not intentionally. I… I just…”

I struggled for words to explain it. “Uh… Ever look up at the night sky, realize how small you are, and have that existential crisis?”

Wander nodded slowly, her lips pulling down into a sharp frown. “Yeah… why?”

“Imagine that, but you’re looking at someone right in front of you,” I said with a little whimper.

Wander flinched. “Oh, yikes… So uh… Can he do what he said?”

“Yes!” I answered with a fervent nod.

Then I stood up, grabbed Wander by the shoulders and proceed to metaphorically stare into her very soul. It’s not actually in the design specs of the Sweetie Eyes, but I tried. “What. Is. That. Tooth?!”

Wander cleared her throat. “Uh, well… A piece of Discord’s statue, I’m pretty certain,” she said with an apologetic smile peeking over the edges of her scarf.

I yelped and jumped back from her, staring at her neck where I knew the tooth was, tail raised in near-panic, chest heaving.

Wander took a step forward. I took a step back.

Wander hesitated for a moment then looked into my eyes. “Gears… He’s been nothing but helpful for centuries. Not even the MoM reform spells get results like that. He’s changed. You’re safe.”

“Its—” I whimpered and bit my lip hard enough to leak coolant into my mouth. “I— I know what he did. What he can do. You’ve got a fragment of the Primordial Spirit of Chaos around your neck and… And there’s a very cruel joke he could play on me.”

Wander raised an eyebrow. “He said he wouldn’t hurt you… Right?”

I nodded. “I— It’s hard to… process that. I… I’m not just a spirit bound to this frame, Wander.”

Wander’s eyes widened. “Wait, you actually do have a brain in there, but the spirit part of you is in control?!”

I shook my head. “No… I…” I took a deep breath. If Wander was revealing her secrets, it was only fair if I revealed mine. “I’m a freak accident. To make me… mom used the matrix for this platform as the anchor to bind a machine spirit to, and uh… filled in the gaps with some shreds of a young zebra mare’s soul.”

Wander‘s jaw dropped as she looked at me in horror. “You’re— What?!” She asked, staring at me with sudden uncertainty.

I looked down, squirming and flicking my tail back and forth. “I don’t… I dont like to think about it. But I know it’s true. I remember parts of… of how it happened. Some MoA monster skinned a poor zebra alive and… She looked like I do. Except less curvy. The talisman that regenerates my pelt… it was made by binding it to her hide.

“Mom’s only an apprentice Shaman. She wouldn’t have even known that using remains to make something is what makes it necromancy. She wouldn’t have known that by integrating any necromantic item with a soul attached to it, into my platform… That it would merge that soul with me.”

Wander shook in her jumpsuit, and I could see her cringing inwards under the layers she wore. “Necromantic origins aside… I— I don’t care that you’ve got some actual zebra soul in you, Gears! I just… The way you described your mom, she sounded so nice! I— I can’t picture her… doing that to some poor mare!”

I blinked. That was her only objection? I was a half spirit half undead half mechanical abomination, and she only cared about my mom having made me that way?

If only that’s how the ponies back home thought of me… Maybe then I’d have gotten to have a lover over the last few hundred years.

Still shocked, I stammered slightly. “M— Mom didn’t exactly… know.”

“How did she not?!” Wander demanded.

“Mom just wanted a tissue sample to link to the talisman,” I murmured. “Like, a little bit of skin. Or some fur. She asked for one, and believed the donor would be willing, not killed or even hurt. She sent out the request and… My pelt just came a few days later in a cardboard box. Still dripping blood. With a note saying ‘Tissue sample got. Your welcome!’ followed by a smiley. I remember mom’s exact thoughts were “Hey! This saves time growing the pelt to full size! Thanks, MoA guy!” and then she bound it to the talisman. She thought they did the cloning for her. Mom’s… a bit special. Remember?”

I closed my eyes and shivered. “I remember… almost nothing of that poor mare’s life. I do remember walking home, rounding a corner, being grabbed from behind… and then feeling my neck break…”

I felt Wander hug me tightly. I hugged her back.

We spent a few long moments like that, until I let go first. “Thank you… I don't like talking about that.”

Wander nodded and took a few steps back, then smiled. “Sooo…” she said in what sounded like an oddly playful tone, though I wasn’t sure. “You have a soul! Does that make you undead like me?”

I paused, then nodded. “I suppose it does… I didn’t know this right away. It took time to realize I had changed. Most of my pony-like behaviors and instincts are courtesy of that poor zebra mare. For a long time, I thought mom had bound me wrong, and given me more freedom by accident, but… Now I know I’m… Definitely the abomination a lot of ponies back home think I am.”

I hung my head and sighed. “That’s why I want to help you so much. You’re not the monster, or the abomination, or freak. I am…”

Wander stood there quietly for a moment, her eyes lost in thought.

“I… I don't really know what to say,” she said after a while. “I’m not even a metaphysics major. Dammit! Where’s Twilight when you need her?”

Wonder began to pace and mutter to herself. “It’s possible she’s still around. She did briefly possess that one alicorn to help Pip. Her consciousness persisted without a body. I doubt it fully dissipated. Note to self: ask the next alicorn we meet if they can channel Purple Smart for a bit, so we can ask her what’s up with your soul. Uh, if that’s a thing they can still do…”

“Fun fact,” I said bitterly. “The reason I can’t do shamanism right is because I’ve got a soul… and a spirit. It also messes with my spirit magic a little. For example, I pushed through a few things while running dry on magic via sheer willpower. Downside, I get less power from offerings than I used to.”

Based on everything troopers gave me at that party, I got quite a bit less. If that much salt and liquor had been offered up to my old windmill in Zebrica, I’d have been running for at least a day, even if there wasn’t so much as a breeze.

Wander hummed as her ears perked. “What can spirits do?”

Grateful for the topic change, I smiled shakily and answered her immediately. “Depends on what kind. Machine spirits can control machines, duh. We can make them work better than they normally should, or make them do things they shouldn’t do. Many of us were bound to Zebrican weapons to make bullets burn or explode. That’s an easy example.”

“Ah, so that’s how Pip’s rifle worked,“ Wander mused. “I’ve always been interested in Zebra magic. What can you still do? Can you show me?””

I shook my head. “No. All I can do is make my body keep going for a bit longer when it’s broken. Not too broken, though. Any catastrophic or critical damage and that’s it for me. But I could make a broken servo keep working. I— I’ve ignored my spirit magic for decades… It withered, and I need to start caring for it again. That was a mistake.”

“Why would you do that?” Wander asked with a shocked look on her face. “That would be like me just not using magic!”

I looked down at the concrete floor and shrugged. “I feel a little obligated to be a normal zebra mare to give her something, you know?”

Wander nodded, paused, then smiled. “So, you can will yourself to push past pain and keep going. That sounds like a person thing to me. I don’t think she’d mind you doing it. Especially since, you know, it’s her life too.”

I considered that line of logic for a moment. It was pretty solid, to be honest…

I nodded heastently. “I... I suppose? May I ask why you’re okay with me? Most ponies are not, and the fact that I’ve got a zebra soul stuck in me is common knowledge back home. I’d like to know why you seem to still like me now that you know.”

Wander sighed and sat down on the bench behind her. “Give me a bit. It’s not hard to explain, I just have to find the right way to say it.”

I nodded and waited for her.

A few minutes later, Wander’s eyes lit up and she nodded to herself before turning towards me and asking, “What is a ghoul?”

“A pony twisted by a megaspell into a unique type of undead sustained by thaumic radiation,” I answered honestly.

“No! A miserable little pile of secrets!” Wander exclaimed, producing a small glass cup form under her cloak and throwing it to the floor, where it shattered.

I blinked several times and stared at her, then at the pile of glass shards, then back at her, then the shards… “Uhhhh….”

Wander’s ears drooped as she put on the most adorable sad dorky face I’d ever seen her make. “Uh… Videogame reference. Skip it! Point is, I’m an abomination, by the definition of every textbook about magic ever. That’s why you don’t bother me. We’re… like sisters! I mean, in the fellowship sense.”

I opened my mouth to object, then stopped. Wander was right. We were the same kind of being. Ghouls were not evil. Or bad. Not inherently, at least. They were just people who had been unfortunate enough to be made into what they were now.

Just like me.

“Huh,” I said, slowly smiling. “I… I actually never thought of it that way before. Thank you!”

I rested my hoof on my chin to think more. Maybe I should think of myself as a zebra ghoul?

Something deep deep deep down inside of me felt extremely distressed at not identifying as an exceptionally hot robo-pony, and demanded I cease that line of thought immediately. Not in words. In extremely strong feelings.

Cannons-are-sexy levels of strong feelings.

Understood, zebra-soul-me! Ya mashina!

Wait a minute! Did I know that phrase because she knew it? Ugh! Why couldn’t I access her memories?! Or were they my memories?

“Yeah, well, there’s more,” Wander said, interrupting my thoughts. “I’m a Canterlot Ghoul.”

I looked up at her, curious as to what she could add to our mutual therapy session.

“Because while most ghouls made by balefire were still people,” Wander continued. “At least they were for a little while. Few days, or a few hours for the unlucky ones… Most Canterlot ghouls were zombies right from the beginning because the pink cloud was so intense it scrambled their brains. I’m not. I’m a person still. I’m as much of a freak occurrence as you. Especially since I’ve still got all my fur and I’m not stuck to a… I don’t know, a gazebo!”

Wander stopped and frowned before scuffing the floor with her front-left hoof. “Aww… I just realized if that were the case I’d be a dread gazebo. Now I’m kinda sad I’m not— No. No I’m not sad that I’m not architecture. Stop being a geek, Wander!”

I giggled. Those little moments of geek under her ‘cool mare’ persona were adorable. Even if I didn’t get the jokes.

“Yeah. I guess we are pretty similar, then. Only real difference is you were a total accident whereas I was just, like, a mistake.”

Wander sighed and gave me a sympathetic look over her scarf. “So, this subject is kinda uncomfortable for both of us, right?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“In that case, new topic. Do you remember being whatever you were before you were a zebra?” Wander asked curiously. “Do like, you have memories of being a catapult or something?”

I laughed and shook my head. “I don’t remember very much from before. Spirits lose most of our memories every time we’re bound to something new, and every time we manifest in the mortal realm we lose even more. But… Since you said you were interested, would you like to ask me anything? I’ll answer, if I can.”

Wander’s ears perked. I could see she was excited by how she squirmed form flank to flank. It was bucking adorable!

“Do you remember what the spirit realm is like?” Wander asked eagerly. “I did all kind of drugs back in the day, trying to see it, or awaken my soul, or whatever shamans call it.”

Oh wow! She was trying to do a vision quest? When she said she always liked zebras, she was serious!

Better tell her the truth then.

I looked Wander dead in the eyes, nodded, and gave her the answer. “It’s torment.”

She frowned sharply. “What?”

“The spirit realm is torment,” I repeated. “There is no time. There is no space. Everything is... Well, you don't need an everywhere or every when, just ‘every’. It is infinite overlapping pockets of chaos and order. Everything is everywhere, everyone is inside you and you are inside of them. There is no privacy, no peace, and no… anything you’d think of as normal.

“In spite of this, you’re not omniscient. You’re not even really a you. You’re an it. You are the realm. Imagine being aware you were just a cell in some pony’s body, but you were also that pony. It makes no sense at all, and that hurts. Since emotions and bodies are one and the same there, your distress becomes real physical pain, and if you’re me, you scream in agony for eternity, begging to be let free and desperately hoping that nothing like that tooth of yours decides to eat you.”

Wander flinched and gave me a sympathetic look. “That's why you were panicking over almost dying to those bandits. I was wondering why someone who reincarnates would ever be afraid to die. Thank you. That’s been bothering me.”

“Well…” I said with a worried squirm. “Since I have a soul grafted onto me, there’s no guarantee that if I die I’ll return to the spirit realm. I might get to learn what happens when ponies like you die. Or, I may just stop existing. Whatever happens to me, I just hope I don’t go back there. I’ve waited for an eternity to get to live in the mortal realm, and now I get to to be here! I’m close enough to mortal that I can sometimes forget what I really am and enjoy life, just like you!”

Wander smirked and pulled down her scarf so I could see her lower face in its entirety. “Heh… We’ve got even more in common, then? I imagine you get to forget more than I do. First escape I had was back at the club a few days ago.”

I gave Wander my best sympathetic and loving look. “I’ll make sure you have them regularly from now on.”

Wander blushed. “I recognize that look. That’s a lover’s look… You really do like me too...”

I felt my cheeks burn as I nodded. “I told you.. I flipped the coin again because a mare was flirting with me...”

Wander raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Now this I gotta hear!”

I turned away from her and scuffed the ground with a hoof. I noticed that the broken glass was gone. Deciding to ignore the how and why of that for the sake of my sanity, I focused in on our conversation. “No! It’s too embarrassing.”

Because I forgot to have sex with her… I spent 200 years complaining, and then at the first opportunity, totally forgot to do the thing! Dumbest. Mare. Ever!

“Awww, come on!” Wander pressed, standing up and trotting over to me to drape herself over my left shoulder. “Do it for a fellow abomination.”

Eeeee! Cuddles! The step up from hug! So comfy.

Yus! This is good…

I should reward good behavior right? But I really really really don't want to admit I forgot to get laid… Oh! We’ll trade.

“If I do, you have to tell me what your mission is first,” I insisted. “You dodged explaining the details of it by making me touch the Pick of Terror.”

Wander snickered and briefly touched the pick under her jumpsuit. “We had a very very long argument over what to call it. We settled on the Pick of Destiny…” she sighed and stood up to give me a serious look. “The quest doesn't involve you. He said you already cause enough chaos.”

I blinked and gave Wander my best smirk. “Of all the things you could have said to dissuade me from wanting to know…”

“I know. I panicked...“ Wander admitted with bashful smile. “Okay, fine. You win… We’ll talk about it.”

“And it is… What, exactly?”

“My music,” Wander mumbled.

“Uh… Okay?” I asked raising an eyebrow. “Do you have to reclaim every album you ever produced, or something?”

Wander sputtered, her eyes widening as if I’d said the most horrifying thing she’d ever imagined. “No! Thank, Celestia! That would take forever! Remember how I made a shield by playing my music?”

I nodded. I had an idea where this was going now.

“My music acts as a carrier wave, letting him work his magic even though he’s hurt,” Wander explained as she sat back down. “I'm not sure how, and he won't say, but when I play, he gets to cause a little bit of chaos here and there. Sometimes, a pony listening is predisposed to running into strange events, or they could use a bit of a shakeup in their life, so he makes sure something really weird or silly, but never deadly, happens to them.

“Each time that happens, he heals a little more. I tried to play over the radio, but… It doesn't work. They have to hear it in person. One day, he’ll be able to live without the odd chaos infusion, and in return, he’ll let me see my friends again.”

I didn’t want to make Wander worried… But I felt she should know something. “Deals with spirits of Chaos do not usually work out well… Especially not if they are the Primordial.”

Wander shrugged and went back to cuddling on my shoulder. Yey!

“I don’t care,” she said firmly. “I’m going to anyways.”

I nodded slowly and leaned against Wander’s head gently. “That’s fine… Uh, it may take him a millennia or two to regain power you remember him having. I know he was loose in Equestria for a while. Whatever you remember him doing, he won't be that powerful for a long, long time.”

“Why not?” Wander asked with genuine curiosity, and a hint of fear.

“Because he’s been stripped down to just—” I stopped mid sentence and cleared my throat. “Uh, Shaman reasons.”

Wander pulled back from me just to give me a glare of annoyance.

I sighed. “Even if you fed him all the power he needs, and put the shattered fragments of his avatar back together… It just takes time to regain power. Trust me, I’ve had to do it three times that I can remember. For a spirit like me, with roughly the magical power of a unicorn wizard or pegasus stormcaller, it took a few years. For him… Well, it’s going to be a long while.”

“So, he won't be able to do anything at all for a long time until after I’m done?” Wander asked slowly.

I shook my head, not wanting to crush all of her hopes. Besides, it wasn’t true that he would be helpless. I knew that full well from the little touch of power I’d gotten to see there...

“No. He’ll be able to do somethings, but if you’re expecting him to reach beyond the veil and actually raise them from the dead, that will take a long time. If you want to just apologize to them verbally, and hear them, he could probably do that right away.”

Wander shrugged. “Meh. I’m immortal. I’ll just wait as long as I need to.”

I blinked. How someone that loyal to a group of dead ponies couldn’t see they were a good friend at heart was beyond me. Or at least, it was until I remembered my marefriend was neurotic.

Eeee! I’d thought of her as my marefriend. Yey! Hopefully she thought of me as her—

Oh no! My eyes widened in terror as I realized something horrible.

I gulped and squirmed under Wander a moment before asking, “So… uh… Do I have to tell you my thing now too?”

Wander nodded and gave me a stern look. “Mhm. Fair is fair. I showed you mine, you show me yours.”

I giggled at her crudely lewd joke. Then I bit my lip and slumped sadly. “So uh… Homage spent the entire day flirting with me… and I did the mental gymnastics needed to be okay with switching to liking mares for her sake… and um… I— Uh…”

Wander grinned happily. “You finally got laid?”

“Noooo…” I admitted loosely. “I uh… I forgot to ask her if we could before leaving Tenpony…”

Wander pulled back from me and looked me dead in the eyes. “You... Forgot.”

I nodded. “Yeah…”

Wander bit her lip to hold in a laugh. “You, the mare who told me she’s had a 200 year long dry spell, had a chance to buck, and forgot to do it?”

I nodded again and gave her a hurt look. “I was low on coolant and thus stupider, okay?!”

Wander took a deep breath and closed her eyes tightly. “I… have… a... solution,” she said slowly, as if it hurt her to think about it.

I frowned for a moment then smiled as a ray of hope shown through the embarrassment. “Is it to call Mare back and have her fly me to Tenpony? Do you think she’d mind?”

Wander shook her head. “No! You’re my marefriend!” She protested, then blushed brightly. “I uh, I mean if that’s okay? I don't deserve one, but you do, and I should help ponies to make up for things so… I should be your marefriend. I think.”

Twisted logic, but I’d accept it for now and work on it later. Mostly because: Eeeeeee! She thought that way too!

“Yes!” I agreed with a grin. “Um, but I thought it was okay to have more than one?”

Wander blinked and frowned a little, but her ears perked up. I wasn't quite sure what she was feeling.. “It is… Do you want to? I mean, that’s kinda kinky. I’m okay with it. Tried to pull it off pre-war. Wife wasn’t into it.”

“I think I would like to,” I admitted. “What if one of us finds somepony else we like? It feels like it would be mean to force somepony I loved to not be allowed to love others too.”

Wander nodded, and gave me a quick happy hug. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair. Open relationship, then.”

“Yes,” I agreed with a smile and happy-wiggle.

Wander sat down and figured a little bit then coughed. “Uh… Soooo… You do realize I was offering sex just now, right?”

I blinked. She had? When?! “Wait, really?!”

Wander facehooved and groaned into her frog. “Yes! For me, that was always the best way to see if I had deep feelings or just wanted to bang somepony.”

I stood up and wrapped Wander in a loving hug. “I’d love to!” I said with a big grin, which faded as I realized something. “So uh. How do we… you know, like, mechanically…”

Wander facehooved harder and groaned again. “Oh, Celestia… Buck it, I’ll just show you.”

Wander’s horn glowed as she pulled took off her cloak. I could see her entire head for the first time.

She had a mane which reminded me a lot of Homage, only if I unfaded it with my mind’s eye, it was much brighter blue and had a super bright blue streak running through it. Also, without the shadows form her hood, her gaunt features weren't as pronounced. She still looked like an ill mare, but a pretty one. Probably due to a lack of shadows.

…

No, it’s because she was pretty. Silly brain. Needing reasons for self-evident things.

Then she slipped out of her jumpsuit and shrugged off the armor under it.

She did have a full coat of fur! Lovely, soft, white fur, with a cute little eighth note cutiemark and an awesomely cute set of bubble-flanks.

Must. Cuddle. NOW!

Wander paused and then shivered. “Wow! I feel weird naked…”

“You should feel sexy,” I said honestly.

Wander blinked, grinned, and spread her cloak out on the ground. “Okay, now I want to do this for more than just figuring out if it’s love or lust. Come here, filly!”

I zipped over to her as fast as I could.

YES!!!! It was about bucking time!

Heh! Literally.

☢★★◯★★☢

“Mmmm… Definitely not lust!” Wander said as she cuddled up against my side.

“How do you know?” I asked while giving her a loving ear nibble.

“Cuz I wanna keep cuddling,” she murmured into my shoulder.

I smiled and nuzzled into her neck. The moon was rising. Had we really been at it that long?

Wander moved slightly, then sat up. “Sooo… I know that was a bit short—”

I laughed. “Short? It’s been… I don't know, three hours?”

“Yeah, short,” Wander said again.

I blinked twice. “How long is normal?”

“For me? Like, half the day,” she replied honestly. “We’d take breaks. Get food or something, talk a bit, then go back to the bedroom… But uh, this isn't a safe place to spend the night, so we should probably get dressed and get moving…”

I nodded and stood up, but not before giving Wander another kiss. “Thank you. That was as nice as I thought it would be.”

“It was nicer than I thought it would be,” Wander admitted sheepishly as she slipped back into her jumpsuit.

That made me sad. Not her thoughts. The ‘her being dressed’ thing.

Boo! Bad clothes. Stop existing!

“Why?” I asked curiously.

“Because… I didn’t feel bad. Or like I shouldn’t get to do it. I think… I think my messed up brain will let me love you,” Wander answered shyly.

Then she coughed and pointed to my right side. “Though, uh… Next time, can you take that grenade launcher off?”

I flattened my ears against my skull and narrowed my eyes. “No!”

Wander nodded and held up her hooves defensively. “Okay! Noted: My mare loves cannons. Get that mare another cannon.”

A few minutes later we were packed up and headed down the road, walking towards a mysterious needle-like tower soaring up into the sky…

But I didn’t care about that.

I’d finally gotten laid!

I couldn’t help but wonder if that tower up ahead was something Wander would consider a safe location...

Comments

[Booster Spice]

They wonder where they Wander and if need to Wander fast they Dash?

Its the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth, or is it?

What happened when Pink Cloud interacted with Pink Pie?

Discord doesnt have to have immense power to reach beyond the veil, he just needs enough to reach back through time, because bringing something forward doesnt even violate basic laws of physics and so is relatively trivial. Because theyre out of time while moving, theyre effectively in a stasis field. Which is needed for teleports to work.

[Midknight Defender]

Wander blinked. “Wait, what’s on that?”

“My mom telling herself where she stored a password,” I replied as I slotted the gemstone into the center of my headband. “The other orb is the password. This one is fine for me to use.”

...here's hoping you grabbed the right one, Whirly.

She nodded. “Yeah… Look, if you ever smoke bomb out of something, you’ll understand, okay?”

Wander, stop taking style-advice from Trixie. She's dead. Ish.

I couldn't help but snicker and give her another little squeeze. “Dammit, Wander! I’m a courier, not a psychiatrist.”

Using that line... filly, you don't even have bones. Even if he wasn't a psychiatrist, either.

As if an already indescribable creature had been mangled beyond recognition

Oh, fewmets. Wander, you've been schlepping about the Wasteland with friggin Discord around your neck?!?!

At least now we know what happened to him. Sort of? DETAILS MUST BE SCRYED!

̧D̵o̢ ̨ņo͜t͢ ęnter t̷he̡ ̕P͠i͜n̕k ͢C͟l͘o̶u̕d, ̕l͘ìtt͞l͞e͢ óne. ̧I͡t ͢is ͠more ̶da̕n͜gèr̸óus̨ to ͝us s͡pir̸it̵s͝ t̀ha̕n it ͟i̵s ̶tơ the m̧órţals.”

Or you know, revealed moments later if I just kept reading. CARRY ON!

Uh, well… A piece of Discord’s statue, I’m pretty certain,”

Just in case anyone wasn't paying enough attention to realize it already, of course!

And you did the same thing for Wander. Mwahahah, zebra scores. GOOOOOOOOAAAALL*HACK* Nope, no, I should never be a soccer announcer.

[DiscoPanda84]

“There is no time. There is no space. Everything is... Well, you don't need an everywhere or every when, just ‘every’. It is infinite overlapping pockets of chaos and order. Everything is everywhere, everyone is inside you and you are inside of them.

Somehow reminded of a part near the start of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs by that bit...

[fractalman]

Wander stopped and frowned before scuffing the floor with her front-left hoof. “Aww… I just realized if that were the case I’d be a dread gazebo. Now I’m kinda sad I’m not— No. No I’m not sad that I’m not architecture. Stop being a geek, Wander!”

gazebo!

also, figured out who wander was...about halfway through the chapter? Had vague suspicions before then, but nothing certain.

Not much to say overall because I'm reading this while drifting in and out of sleep, but overall another fun chapter-this one leaning towards the adorable side. Gears and wander both need all the cuddles.

[SGA]

For ending Gears's 200 year dry spell with Wander, you are forgiven for roll, and Mare-do-well needs to git in on the action to.

[Venerable Ro]

9576501

While the temporal back-up save is a valid and effective method of resurrection, Time is sadly one of the few things Discord has never been able to manipulate. Y'see, the past is unchanging, a fundamental expression of Order. Thus as a creature of chaos, he cannot affect it at all.

[Meep the Changeling]

9576501

What happened when Pink Cloud interacted with Pink Pie?

Seeing as how the weapon is more dangerous to spirits, and other extremely magical entities like real Alicorns (vs dipped alicorns), It's pritty good that she died in Manehatten, not Canterlot. You are thinking of Rarity.

Discord doesnt have to have immense power to reach beyond the veil, he just needs enough to reach back through time,

Correct. He woud like to have enough power to be self-sustaining first though.

---

9576623

...here's hoping you grabbed the right one, Whirly.

Yeah that could be bad.

Wander, stop taking style-advice from Trixie. She's dead. Ish.

That's actualy a very good question. We know Twilight boltzman brained herself for at least a bit after that... Why couldn't the other three?

Oh, fewmets. Wander, you've been schlepping about the Wasteland with friggin Discord around your neck?!?!

"Well yeah. Where else would I keep him? He refused pockets, something about comparing me to... I don't know... a shitty lifted uber? Whatever that means... I'm not strait and he's a guy so those places are right out. I dont like piercings, so you know! Necklass was all that was left."

---

9576643 I wonder why that is :P

---

9576951

For ending Gears's 200 year dry spell with Wander, you are forgiven for roll, and Mare-do-well needs to git in on the action to.

That's sort of the plan, actually.

---

9577051 This is very true.

[djthomp]

Good idea… Too bad I don’t have easy access to somepony who knows everything there is to know about the Heartlands.

”You do. Listen. Up ahead, in that old bus stop shelter.”

Oooo, Wander?

Yay! Of course, she may still be pissed, but maybe she'll have cooled off a little.

“... yeah we saw his armor just after leaving Magebridge. It flew, so it couldn’t have been a mockup or imitation. I really, really, really hope that psycho Gale didn’t actually get ghoulified.”

Got some bad news for you.

“Sure. You also never got a box from an unknown address, opened it, and found your brother’s head with ‘spy’ branded into the forehead.”

Yikes.

“I can say with certainty that we’re dealing with an alicorn who stumbled on a suit of advanced power armor sized for them, and took it.”

There's some bad news for Dash, too.

My eyes widened in terror. Before I could react Mare added, “Come out around the front of the bus stop, or I’ll let the grenade in my hoof go off. My friend and I regenerate. We’ll be pretty fine, you’ll be pretty dead.”

Whoops!

Inside the fort-stop I could see Wander, and also exactly the other ghoul I had been expecting. A lithe blue pegasus dressed in an old Shadowbolts uniform. I hadn’t expected her to be wearing a super old, tattered, wide-brimmed purple hat, matching ragged cape, and a patched old white flier’s scarf in addition to her uniform, but she was.

Nice.

Mare turned back to me and smiled, turning her hoof for me to shake. “Hey! I’m the second closest thing to a friend Wander has. You can call me Mare Do Well. I’m also in the ‘Pre-War Ghouls Who Obsessively Hide Their Identity Club.’ Founding member, actually.”

It's a surprisingly big club.

Oh man, Dash was flying east? Yeah, no wonder she wasn't around, that takes forever.

“Oh,” I blushed, worried that my tone of voice hasn't explained it properly. “Not adorable cute. More like ‘aww, look at all those little fibers pulling together. They’re working so hard! Good girls! You go! Move that leg!’ You know? Like watching a bunch of ants work together to move sticks off their nest.”

That's really not how people react to things, Gears.

More types of ghouls, interesting.

I proceed to engaged maximum overhug.

“ACK! ROBO-STRENGTH!” Mare squeaked adorably. “WANDER! HELP! I’M GONNA DIE!”

Karma for something, probably.

Tell them the rest of the information about Gale! This is important intel for fighting the Tainted.

Oh good, the memory orb took care of that it looks like.

“I’m saying whoever found that stallion and replaced his suit’s medical system with several different drugs, including Rage. I’ve done plenty of Rage. Composed an album on it, even. I know what it does to you long term, and more importantly, I know what it does to your eyes when you're on it.”

Huh, interesting.

Wander nodded. “Yes! Red Eye hoarded the stuff for years. His army used it to burn down the Everfree Forest. Ponies everywhere have been scrapping flamers for years because the fuel is impossible to find now. I believe you when you say the Tainted had one, but that might have been the last bucket flamer fuel on Equis they used trying to broil you.”

What an honor!

“The best ones get selected by the computer to go train with an ‘Uncle Lift’ and become SWAT Fillies. The rest of them rarely leave, choosing instead to help train the best to be even better, or to help keep the compound running. The SWAT Fillies themselves hold no allegiance to anything other than the concepts of justice and heroics. Once trained, they leave, roaming the lands to try and make things safer for everypony. That’s another reason it sucks to see one die.”

Neat.

Wander’s magic reached beneath her scarf and took out the guitar pick necklace she wore around her neck. With it exposed this close to my face, I could instantly sense the entity lurking within. At this distance, its presence was overwhelming, and made me feel a bit unsafe…

Yikes.

Wander nodded. “Yeah… I found him in Canterlot. We made a deal. No, a pact , he called it. I help him get enough power back to heal himself and… and he promised he’d let me see my friends again so I can apologize.”

Hmn.

“Yes…” I squeaked, staring in terror at the amulet. “If he’s positively ancient… Like, I can’t do that without this body… and I was first manifested in the mortal realm during the bucking early bronze age, Wander!”

Oh wow, that's pretty old, Gears.

Ooooooohhhh, so it's part of Discord. Man, he's really broken.

I looked down, squirming and flicking my tail back and forth. “I don’t… I dont like to think about it. But I know it’s true. I remember parts of… of how it happened. Some MoA monster skinned a poor zebra alive and… She looked like I do. Except less curvy. The talisman that regenerates my pelt… it was made by binding it to her hide.

Oh crap, was it Gale?

Based on everything troopers gave me at that party, I got quite a bit less. If that much salt and liquor had been offered up to my old windmill in Zebrica, I’d have been running for at least a day, even if there wasn’t so much as a breeze.

Oh neat, so Gears was a windmill before being a battleship.

“My music acts as a carrier wave, letting him work his magic even though he’s hurt,” Wander explained as she sat back down. “I'm not sure how, and he won't say, but when I play, he gets to cause a little bit of chaos here and there. Sometimes, a pony listening is predisposed to running into strange events, or they could use a bit of a shakeup in their life, so he makes sure something really weird or silly, but never deadly, happens to them.

“Each time that happens, he heals a little more. I tried to play over the radio, but… It doesn't work. They have to hear it in person. One day, he’ll be able to live without the odd chaos infusion, and in return, he’ll let me see my friends again.”

So, the long term quest model.

Wander shrugged. “Meh. I’m immortal. I’ll just wait as long as I need to.”

Yeah. It'll take a while, but Wander has a while.

Then she coughed and pointed to my right side. “Though, uh… Next time, can you take that grenade launcher off?”

I flattened my ears against my skull and narrowed my eyes. “No!”

Everyone had lines that they are unwilling to cross.

Nice to have Wander back in the party.

[Venerable Ro]

9577125

Of course, there are always loopholes. And Discord is the best at abusing loopholes.

[Meep the Changeling]

9577180

Oh man, Dash was flying east? Yeah, no wonder she wasn't around, that takes forever.

Dash "OH man! Right? I swear to Celestia that took like 9,000 pages!"
Wander "Uh, pages are not a unit of time."
"They are when you're flying east. Trust me."

Ooooooohhhh, so it's part of Discord. Man, he's really broken.

Yeah, turns out weapons designed to kill Alicorns are also super-effective on other highly magical beings too.

Oh crap, was it Gale?

"Captain!"
"Huh?"
"Your sister needs a tissue sample from an Imperial Zebra. Go get one, will you?"
"Sure!" *happy big brother noises*

Nice to have Wander back in the party.

Dont' worrys, she's not going anywhere... At least, not for a long while.

[Neece]

Aww, they made up!
They have some really heavy issues to deal with, that's for sure. Being together should be really good for them.
Shame Dash went away so soon, though. She missed on the action. And knowledge that her (probable) super awesome plan to end the war has been found and the crazy lunatic has been awoken. And there's someone even worse pulling his reigns

"Awww, come on! Tell her! Even in death, I serve the Princess. It’s cool!”Dad pleaded.

My sides Meeps, my sides!!

[Asolem2]

“Wait… You mean there’s a base out there that’s impossible to find unless you already know about it? That’s one hell of a ward!” Wander exclaimed in shock.

Not anymore it isn't

My eyes widened in terror. Before I could react Mare added, “Come out around the front of the bus stop, or I’ll let the grenade in my hoof go off. My friend and I regenerate. We’ll be pretty fine, you’ll be pretty dead.”

No, she'll probably be more fine than the two of you

”Do not flirt with the crazy mare who thinks she’s an old MoA agent!” Dad warned suddenly.

Oh she's not an MoA agent

Mare turned back to me and smiled, turning her hoof for me to shake. “Hey! I’m the second closest thing to a friend Wander has. You can call me Mare Do Well. I’m also in the ‘Pre-War Ghouls Who Obsessively Hide Their Identity Club.’ Founding member, actually.”

That sounds like an awesome club and I want to know more

”Well that explains it.”

Explains what, Imaginary Dad?

”... Nothing, sweetie. Don’t worry about it.”

Oh, he almost let it slip that he isn't as dead as he let's Gears think

“Hey-so-you’re-super-lucky-we’re-friends-and-I-have-to-go-do-things-elsewhere-or-I’d-totally-steal-your-crush. Bye!”

HAH

Wander pointed towards Fillydelphia. “Whoever ordered him to teleport back to base has that stallion on a drug that turns your aggression up to eleven, while dialing your intellect down to, like, five tops. Based on how little he reacted to getting a hole blown through his wing, he’s also on a Med-X drip feed, which I can tell you for sure dampens your intellectual capacity, to be generous.

As I suspected

Wander sat up and looked me in the eyes. “I— I wandered… like I do. I’d realized I bucked up about ten minutes after I ran out of there. I— I didn’t turn back because, well… I smoke bombed! You can't just go back after that! The exit’s too dramatic. It would be the most awkward thing ever!”

*tch* she right

She nodded. “Yeah… Look, if you ever smoke bomb out of something, you’ll understand, okay?”

True that

Wander reached beneath her cloak with her magic and offered me a small revolver. “Shoot me.”

Wait, Wander subscribes to the Blackjack method of making friends/travel companions

Wander smiled and picked the gun back up, tucking it away. “And now I can trust you to not hold a grudge,” she said confidently.

So not the Blackjack method

“Mom just wanted a tissue sample to link to the talisman,” I murmured. “Like, a little bit of skin. Or some fur. She asked for one, and believed the donor would be willing, not killed or even hurt. She sent out the request and… My pelt just came a few days later in a cardboard box. Still dripping blood. With a note saying ‘Tissue sample got. Your welcome!’ followed by a smiley. I remember mom’s exact thoughts were “Hey! This saves time growing the pelt to full size! Thanks, MoA guy!” and then she bound it to the talisman. She thought they did the cloning for her. Mom’s… a bit special . Remember?”

... it was Gale that got her that wasn't it ?

Wander nodded and held up her hooves defensively. “Okay! Noted: My mare loves cannons. Get that mare another cannon.”

The bigger the better

A few minutes later we were packed up and headed down the road, walking towards a mysterious needle-like tower soaring up into the sky…

I feel like I should know what that is

[Meep the Changeling]

9577454

Shame Dash went away so soon, though. She missed on the action.

"... the bus stop's yellowing translucent walls..."
i.ytimg.com/vi/U7RjvWoIc5g/maxresdefault.jpg

---

9577519

Oh she's not an MoA agent

Well, I mean, technicaly speaking...

Oh, he almost let it slip that he isn't as dead as he let's Gears think

He tried once, Gears assumed she was subconsciously trying to come up with a way he could have survived, and realized that would mean she was processing the loss in a very very unhealthy way. What would you do as a dad?

Wait, Wander subscribes to the Blackjack method of making friends/travel companions

Except, unlike her, it doesn't cause sufficient physical trauma as to necessitate the need for a trip to Dr. Horse, MD.

... it was Gale that got her that wasn't it ?

As I said to somone else...

"Captain!"
"Huh?"
"Your sister needs a tissue sample from an Imperial Zebra. Go get one, will you?"
"Sure!" *happy big brother noises*

I feel like I should know what that is

Yeah, you really should XD

[Life Beat]

9577125
my theory is because he is chaos and is not order in anyway, his very existence is outside of time, so if he looked inverse to the left backwards, he could share tidbits with "himself" and have that version of him send wanders friends forwards as that would be present for that version of him, relatively mind you

[Life Beat]

loved this chapter so far, now i just need to know if the armored dude gets help/put down cause thats the burning question, all others are immuted by discord, cause discord :P

[Amusementist]

9578363
So, Meep, from my current understanding Star Drop HQ is one of the places in the wastes that still has functioning and pristine tech, and complex enough to fabricate custom armor? As well as probably have a ton of other stuff?

Also, Gears originally was the weapon control system on a massive boat and is now bound to a mechana-pony? Did her persona generate when she was bound to the frame, or when she was fused to the soul of the Zeeb,

[Meep the Changeling]

9581311

So, Meep, from my current understanding Star Drop HQ is one of the places in the wastes that still has functioning and pristine tech, and complex enough to fabricate custom armor? As well as probably have a ton of other stuff?

Pristine? No. Functional? Yes.

Also, Gears originally was the weapon control system on a massive boat and is now bound to a mechana-pony? Did her persona generate when she was bound to the frame, or when she was fused to the soul of the Zeeb,

It generated on fusion. She's basicaly the memories and power of the machinespirit and the personality and thoughtprocesses of the zebra.

[LostArchivist]

Uh, you might want to inform them of where the Tainted are operating from. Or that you know Gale is truly the real guy. Something tells me that those facts would have the same effect. Namely, the requiring of brown pants.

Holy crap. THAT was Discord's Fang?! I suspected as much the moment it appeared here, but I nearly had a perspective moment reading that segment. Your darn work can be too descriptive sometimes.

I blinked. That was her only objection? I was a half spirit half undead half mechanical abomination, and she only cared about my mom having made me that way?

Uh, that's too many halves, Gears, but it's fairly accurate nevertheless. Or does being an abomination of science allow one to misuse fractions? :D

Do like, you have memories of being a catapult or something?

I'm now wondering if I have ESP. I swear I had not read this far when I asked that question, and I know you wrote it before I asked. I'm slightly weirded out now.

I cannot officially say that I sanction their snogging and adorableness. Or that they are also planning to get more ponies in on that. Unofficially...

---

I proceed to engaged maximum overhug.

engage

[Meep the Changeling]

9648500

Your darn work can be too descriptive sometimes.

/me not sure if complaint or complement... :c Uh... Sor-tha-ry-kyou?

[ChaosDX1]

Gears and cannons. Finally a love story I can relate to!

[Doomande]

So its really nice that Gears finally meet someone that have romantic interest in her, but a 3 for 3 streak is maybe a bit much. Sure she is charming, and Gears body have been rather special and she is properly oozing charisma points out both ends, but careful now that it dosn't become a bit too much. With that giant power boost with her new shield, leg and cannon as well as mares throwing themselves at her... Just remember to balance it out is all that I am saying, I am sure that someone are gonna beat her with a giant stick soon, it is the Wasteland after all and you can't have nice things in the Wasteland, and she did kinda loose a teammate... Its just something to remember.

Gazebo... That is either your best joke ever, or your worst...

“Okay! Noted: My mare loves cannons. Get that mare another cannon.”

Why do I think that a strap on dosn't count as a cannon... Or who know, maybe it willl... And suddenly do I imagine a rock-it-launcher with the most exotic and erotic ammonition ever... Bad brain bad!

Nitpicks:
"Wander nodde dan gestured to the bus stop’s singular wall-length wooden bench." nodded and
"Wander’s horn glowed as she pulled took off her cloak. " delete
"bit because I always hurt them." You sure hurt them if you bite them.

[Meep the Changeling]

9793329 To be honest, Gears has everything I plan on her getting... So...

[Lexiebommel10]

Can i have that cut scene

[Meep the Changeling]

9990420 Mmmm... Sure. I think I'm up for writing again :3

[laple_daple]

Alright wait, stop, halt, hold on, please dear god slow down. Am I the only one who noticed some glaring plot inconsistencies in this chapter or is this some sort of editing thing where you go back and change some of the stories plot. Maybe it's just your style and you just don't care about this sort of thing or maybe there is some sort of explanation for all this stuff that I'm just not picking up on.

Never the less, I have become confused and seek to heir my grievances in a purely constructive manner.

To start I will present my strongest and most frustrating case:

“Fun fact,” I said bitterly. “The reason I can’t do shamanism right is because I’ve got a soul… and a spirit. It also messes with my spirit magic a little. For example, I pushed through a few things while running dry on magic via sheer willpower. Downside, I get less power from offerings than I used to.”

This is directly contradicted in chapter 13 when:

“Yeah, but there’s no soul either. I’ve seen other cyborgs. They have souls,” the filly said as she popped her neck in what she must have thought was intimidating, but even in my dire situation, was adorable. “You’re just a spirit and some scraps!”

Where did the soul come from? It wasn't there when the shaman child gave her a few good looks. Gears even seemed to admit that she had no soul in the following paragraphs.

Next (clap) grievance (clap)

So Gears guessed at Wanders quest being redemption in the first few chapters. There was this heartfelt moment where Wander described how she had abandoned her wife and friends and everything and she made Gears promise not to ask questions about her past. It happened way too soon in my opinion but this is an objective critique so I will only mention it passive aggressively.

Again

Early in the story, Gears seems not ow her skin regeneration works and does not want to think about it as one of the possibilities could very well be necromancy. She also stated that she hoped it was cloned skin. In this chapter, Gears now knows for a fact that her skin is not only that of a dead zebra mare's but has also imbued her mechanical form with a soul. This also provides some mechanic to Gears' spirit magic that feels kind of unnecessary but ok.

Separation between grievies

Characters seem to forget things a lot when they shouldn't.

B

Wasn't Vinyl dead in the Blackjack story? It's been a while but I seem to remember Vinyl being dead with some records and a memory orb in a motel or hotel or something.

☢★★◯★★☢

Ah, now I remember.
In the first chapter (I think) Gears explains to Queen that Ya Machina means "I am the machine." In Conan's bar,it is stated that Gears does not know what Ya Machina means. When she gets to Filly, she just says it a bunch for some reason. I know this can be explained away with low coolant but the low coolant thing is so convenient it sickens and has made my mother bedridden.

No

Wander sputtered. “WHAT?! Nine thousand!?”
I shook my head incredulously. “There’s no way that can be right.”

Let dead memes lie.

God no

I enjoy your work. I really do. You're good at making stories and that makes me happy because the stories are good. I hope to watch improve as an author and will continue to enjoy this story.

P.S. I forgot some things because I slept after reading this chapter so expect more when I finally remember the thi

P.P.S. I just remembered one of them was and then immediately forgot upon typing this out so there I hate my flesh computer why can't I just replace it with a good computer preferably a decent gaming pc so I can avoid the existential dread that comes with thoughts about the heat death of the universe help
Edit: just realized I can't fix some word mistakes because every time I type a new character between old ones it eats the one in front to make room.

[Meep the Changeling]

10026795 Oh hey, that's actually a few good points. Sorry for the mistakes. I might do my best to fix them if I ever get back to writing... I have very little motive to do so recently. It's the complaints. You work very hard on something like this, putting in a part time job's worth of work per week on a chapter, only to be told you fucked up gleefully by people, seemingly because they like to mock people who only want to entertain them. Meanwhile people who liked it say nothing.

It's just extremely disheartening to be a creator these days.

That being said, your criticisms are valid, even if they are hurtful except for the last one.

I know this can be explained away with low coolant but the low coolant thing is so convenient it sickens and has made my mother bedridden.

This. I take issue with just this. Right here you display such a massive fundamental misunderstanding of the workings of computers that it's unacceptable for you to not know in a day and age where computers are for damn near everything you'll ever do.

A computer needs to be kept cool. Ideally below 60C but above 0C as the moment water starts to condense on your chip you're gonna have a bad time. Now, people who make computers know these things. There's very little you can do if the chip is getting too cold to save it from itself, BUT if a chip is getting to hot it will "Thermal throttle".

Thermal Throttling means the chip will intentionally make itself much much slower, and in some cases/models shut down entire subsystems so as to stop creating so much heat and prevent itself from self destructing. If you have ever had a computer with such poor cooling that it can hit its T-Junction (the temp it's set to thermal throttle at, often ~100C), you'll know that the instant that happens the entire machine becomes a slow, hard to use, annoying, pain in the ass no matter what other hardware it's packing. We're tlaking your word document goes from butter smooth to Power Point in no seconds flat.

Gears, as a magical intelligence bound to a computer system, which i functioning as an AI for all intents and purposes, is subject to the rules regarding computers. So no. Her getting stupid if she's too hot isn't convenient. It's what would actually happen to any computer system that got too hot. She is mentally slower, less efficient, and unable to even do certain things because she simply "forgets" how / that she can. It's not lazy writing, it's computer science and physics. AI IRL will probably react this way to cooling problems, once they exist.

[laple_daple]

10027421
I have finished the story so far and my overall verdict of the fic so far is that it is pretty good.
You work very hard on something like this, putting in a part time job's worth of work per week on a chapter, only to be told you fucked up gleefully by people, seemingly because they like to mock people who only want to entertain them. Meanwhile people who liked it say nothing.
It's just extremely disheartening to be a creator these days.
So hush up.
You are a good author and those people take glee in those fuck ups because it makes them feel smart for finding something someone else didn't. I am no exception. You've done such a good job that only eight out of fifteen thousand readers felt strongly enough to dislike it. Please do not take insult from anything I said unless I had made an explicit attempt to insult you.

I know this can be explained away with low coolant but the low coolant thing is so convenient it sickens and has made my mother bedridden.

You can probably tell from the beginning of that paragraph that I kind of got sidetracked and forgot what I was doing. That sentence shouldn't have been in there as I was trying to keep the thing constructive. I suppose this is my time to elaborate. I think the issue I had that put me off at that point to the whole coolant thing was that it was appearing too often and seemed as if it was choking out other forms of conflict and would carry on to be brought up near constantly. That sort of story didn't feel very good for whatever reason to me. I'm no Harvard graduate with a doctorate in shitting on other peoples hard work so I can't give you any technical terms or real explanation for why that would be bad. It just worried me for some reason and I got that feeling confused with convenience.

The reason I wrote that last part was because I thought it would be funny (was it?(please I am desperate for validation)). Probably not the best place for it. I went to the doctor once and he told me I had this condition where every time I went to write it would put my humors out of balance. But that was a long time ago so who knows what the case is now. (eh? eh?)

Autism. The case is autism. (I think you can tell why I separated these paragraphs.)

Right here you display such a massive fundamental misunderstanding of the workings of computers that it's unacceptable for you to not know in a day and age where computers are for damn near everything you'll ever do.

I know the importance of cooling in computers. I am a physics buff. I know things. I read your dumb computer nerd thing anyways. I enjoyed it and learned something new.

except for the last one

You better not be referring to my No. God No. section. I will fight you.

P.S. I found out why my letters kept eating each other when I was editing. I had hit the insert key on accident. It doesn't look like a toggle. It doesn't get a light like caps lock does. Now I just feel dumb.
Edit: Fuck wrong button

[Meep the Changeling]

10034556

Please do not take insult from anything I said unless I had made an explicit attempt to insult you.

Sorry about that. It's a sore spot for me recently. Nothing remotly even personal.

I'm no Harvard graduate with a doctorate in shitting on other peoples hard work

How much are you willing to bet that is an actual degree program Harvard offers?

Autism. The case is autism. (I think you can tell why I separated these paragraphs.)

No. But I'm also autistic, so yeah.

[Alchemik]

She cleared her throat and took a few steps closer to me. “I wasn't around when Pip or Red-Eye were active. I woke up one morning and… Just kind of wanted to see how the rest of the world was doing. Spent a few decades just flying east. Hitting up all the old countries… Like, all of them.”

Heh. I understand this reference. It took... some time to read.

Wow, actually, there were a lot of references in this chapter. Also Discord lore! He's one of the more interesting things in the Wasteland, if you ask me. From a narrative perspective, and generally, albeit to a lesser extent. Although it does seem like this is not going the same direction as in Project Horizons for Discord. And that's ok, there's a lot of conflicting options and only the one canon fic and apparently some lore dumps I didn't know about. Headcanon resolution will work it out somehow, this fic can 100% slot in there. Somewhere. Even if I have to bash some other bits out.

[Meep the Changeling]

10783800

Heh. I understand this reference. It took... some time to read.

It's actually a running joke in my stories. Dash always mentions it taking a long time to fly east.

Although it does seem like this is not going the same direction as in Project Horizons for Discord.

Totally by coincidence. I haven't read PH past chapter 16, and probably never will. It's just not for me.