A Hard Day's Night (Epilogue)
“—you can’t just come barging into my workshop, this is not a raceway!” Rarity groaned at the sight of her brand-new shutters, now torn off the hinges and splintered to pieces.
Morning air rushed through the window, scattering design plans across the boutique and into the waiting paws of Opalescence, who took great joy in pouncing upon the winter line. The cat let out a petulant meow as Rarity’s magic scooted her into another room.
Gathering the designs into a hasty pile, Rarity huffed and turned to give a piece of her mind. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, but it never seems to stick. At the absolute least, Rainbow Dash, you could have used the door and… oh.” She removed her work glasses, studying Dash’s face. The shutters and scattered designs and the unfurled bolts of fabric were forgotten. “Darling, have you been crying?”
“What? No, of course not.” Rainbow blinked her bloodshot eyes and frowned at her hooves. “Flying supersonic speeds without goggles gets you teary-eyed, that’s all. Sorry about your shop.” She peered over Rarity’s withers, poking at her collarbone and prodding under her mane.
“What are you—watch the coiffure. Come here. Stay still.” Rarity’s magic brushed Rainbow’s bangs out of her eyes. She’d left without brushing her mane… or her teeth, from the smell of it. “Please, what’s the matter? Has something happened?”
“No. I mean, yeah, but that’s not…” Rainbow scratched at her messy mane. “I had a bad dream, okay?”
“Oh? What about?” Come to think of it, she’d had a dream of her own, last night—something about sewing ugly jumpsuits or drab wall hangings (or both) and nopony would let her change the color palette.
Dash glanced over her again. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does! It’s clearly upset you, and you’ve already flown all this way.” Rarity’s emergency comb smoothed Dash’s split ends and cowlicks. “You need a warm drink and—ooh, we could visit the spa, and don’t try to argue, you know you love the spa.”
“Rarity—”
“Oh fine, we’ll come in through the back. Nopony will see you.”
Rainbow shied from the comb, wrinkling her nose as it followed her. “That’s not the only reason I stopped by. AJ says Twilight needs us at the castle, pronto. Starlight Glimmer’s back and—what are you doing to my head?”
“Tidying it.” Rarity sprayed a shot of dry shampoo, waited for it to settle, and rubbed it in. “What is Starlight doing all the way in Ponyville?” She’d fled into the mountains, the last time they’d seen her.
“Dunno, but it can’t be good.” Dash flicked her ears at the spritz of manespray. “But since I’m headed over there anyway, you wanna walk with me? Maybe? Also, sorry about your window.”
Rainbow Dash frowned at her clean-pressed mane in the reflection of a mirror. She looked ready for jury duty, and if not for Dash’s nightmare, Rarity might have been tempted to let it stay that way.
“You already apologized for the window.” Two quick ruffles of Rarity’s hoof, and Rainbow’s mane flopped into its natural shape. Perfect.
“Oh… well, I’m sorry anyway.”
Two hours behind on her order for Bon Bon’s gala dress and three days behind on Fashion Week’s preliminary sketches, Rarity had no time for disasters or leisurely walks. Fortunately, a lady knew how to work close to the wire. A lady had priorities, too. “I’d love nothing more.”
Rarity closed shop, and they walked down the road together.
The long way to Twilight’s castle eased past Town Hall and through the farmer’s market. Background chatter and vegetable haggling buzzed around them, filling in the silence between them. Not an unpleasant or uneasy silence, but the satisfying quiet of a bubble bath. Peaceful.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. Since when was Rainbow Dash peaceful after a summons to the castle? And under such circumstances? “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather fly?”
“I can fly back later.” Dash shifted closer and waved her over. “Hey. C’mere a sec.” In front of the entire market, with no regard for her “street cred,” Rainbow Dash kissed Rarity on the nose.
Rarity blinked. It happened so fast, she wondered if she’d imagined it.
Beside her, Rainbow had fallen back, staring straight ahead in a fresh composite of brazen delight and the urge to hide under a blanket for the next twenty years. Her ears fidgeted as if they couldn’t settle on a direction.
“Why, Miss Rainbow Dash! To what do I owe this sudden display of public affection?” Not that she was complaining… was she? No, she wasn’t. Not at all. Before Dash had the chance to change her mind, Rarity leaned into her and nuzzled.
Their tails swept over each other. If Rainbow noticed the explosion of whispers and bustling gossip from the flower stand, she didn’t show it. She cleared her throat, smirked, and shifted back in step as she’d done this every day.
“No reason.” Rainbow rolled her wings in the morning sun, let the left one settle on Rarity’s shoulder, and smiled at her. “Just wanted everypony to see how much I love ya.”
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This was so good it should be a Heartcrime.
Sweet ending.
9483941
9484198
Called it!
"WHAT? YOUR DARK MISTRESS REALLY LIKES PAPER!"
"Without these friendships — life, what cauchemar!"
--Portrait of a Lady*
I'm just tickled by the fact that cauchemar means both nightmare...
i.ytimg.com/vi/2-cc1wOsbZE/maxresdefault.jpg
...and, quite literally, couch-mare:
i.pinimg.com/originals/44/39/e9/4439e9bd2b17c02452746a33abe36508.jpg
* A poem about a closeted gay poet whose patroness keeps dunning him for sex, so he flees the country. "Hard life? T. S., Eliot!"
9526946
"But you will find that when the mood...takes me, I can be most...generous..."
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/15/829540.jpg
Marvellous.
I didn't mention it before, but I absolutely love the idea of a Heartcrime. It really sells the fact that, terrifying and cruel as she may be, Nightmare Moon is just as much a tragic figure as anyone else trapped in this timeline.
Wow, really liked this story, the ending was excellent. Thanks for sharing it
Fantastic resolution. It just wasn't meant to be.
Well, the kingdom of eternal night wasn't, anyway.
Excellent stuff from start to finish. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the contest.
9526946
They seems to have made that movie, or close enough:
Hey, we ended up writing a review for your story here for the group My Little Reviews and Feedback.
Hope it's helpful!
I shall read/critique this fic today. Just wanted to drop by and say congratulations on winning the competition! I look forward to seeing more of your work ^_^.
9580226
Oh yeah, I thought of that film as well. The control of emotions too. Just with less matrix style fight scenes!
Really enjoyed this fic! You did a great job of telling a fully fledged story and the horrors of this world in a few chapters.
Congrats on winning the contest! This was a phenomenal entry.
I tip my hat to you. You earned that win many times over. This wasn't just a story about love, it's a story about what healthy love is. It shows the abusive "love" of Nightmare Moon, and the genuine love of Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
I admit this isn't my personal paring of choice, but you made it work. You got me invested and wanting to see those two happy together. There is little to critique story wise, other than how no one else would hear Rainbow Dash and Rarity while in the infirmary. I also noticed the odd typo here and there, as well as a couple confusing word choices (How does Rainbow Dash rest her head on her knees?).
Beyond that, a masterpiece of pony literature. Well done.
My nightmare!!! Noooo! Well. Celestial wins again. No this isn't about her and it's about Rarity and Dash, and I also don't really feel Nightmare on her insecurity but the last chapter makes me feel as if Celestial got over me. Again. Now the epilogue was actually pretty cute.
Melodramatic
I don't often bother to comment on the stories I read on here, but I feel that this one deserves it. I've read hundreds of good fimfiction stories, but very rarely do I read a great one. The plot is engaging, putting me in mind of 1984 meets V for Vendetta with a splash of Equalibrium thrown in, and the way you craft your prose is beautiful.
My only criticism (if you can call it that) it that it feels too short. It seems like you've just hit your stride - detailing Rarity and Rainbow's realisation that their love for each other outweighs their need for safety and stability at Nightmares court, along with their subsequent capture - before they're saved by a quick tear in space-time.
This is the practical reality of writing for a time limited contest I suppose, but I find myself wondering what would happen if they had not experienced such an abrupt ending; would they have joined the Sunwise, or tried to flee Equestria, or even served as an example to other traitorous ponies at court? What trials would have tested their love for each other? Could they eventually bring down Nightmare's regime?
Regardless, this was indeed a fabulous little story, and has been added to a list of only 13 others on this site that I consider to be truly great!
Masterful! I had to move this story to my favorites. You should totally consider doing a story for the changeling timeline!
I am late to the party but this was so effing good.
An appropriately smile-inducing ending to a truly excellent story. Well done!
As others have mentioned, we have here a bit of 1984, a bit of V for Vendetta, and (I would add) a hint of Fahrenheit 451. You sure know your classic dystopias.
But this story is more than a pastiche, having all the vivid emotional power I've come to expect from your writing. World-building is quite detailed, but does not slow the action down. The central idea of the premise--Nightmare trying to monopolize love itself--makes sense while demonstrating the reasons why it's not actually feasible. Love cannot be seen or touched, so who could possibly hoard it?
In particular, I like the idea of images of the True Timeline breaking into this one in the form of dreams. It's as if the universe itself knows that something is very wrong, and is trying to right itself. This story is now one of my personal favorite takes on the canonical alternate timelines.