Remember Cupcakes? Remember thinking how funny it would be if someone rewrote it to be completely sanitised and family-friendly? Oh. Well here it is anyway.
Credit to Sergeant Sprinkles for some of the dialogue carried over into this. As well as, of course, for writing this story's inspiration.
19/1/12: Made a tweak to a couple of sentences that felt clumsy. No major changes.
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Not bad at all! Take a look at my own parody of "Cupcakes" on my page; it's pretty similar to this. Well, at least in a way. I liked what you did what an otherwise gruesome fiction; it's always nice when people want to take something horrible and turn it into something nice instead. Well done.
sweet shit man
Im gonna read this and im very drunk if Gilda dies again man im going to cry into my pillow
yyaaaaaaay she didnt die even if you didn't meantion s her.
thank youjs
SPOILER ALERT! Make sure you finished reading the story before reading this!
Oh, so Rainbow Dash was the one who wrote that Cupcake story in the end! That would explain a lot, actually.
As for the story, It was great! I especially like the parts where RD gets tortured... in a not-so-harmful way!
For the record, I've never read Cupcakes, and I'm gonna keep it that way. I do NOT wanna give up on cupcakes!
62785 That was a very enjoyable read, although made a bit uncomfortable for me by the similarities in places. Thanks for not accusing me of ripping you off! I think they're sufficiently different though for the most part- yours is outright parody and funny all the way through, whereas mine tries to tell the story, mundane bits and all, by scooping out the nastiness and replacing it with harmless traditional Pinkie Pie weirdness. Damn tickling though. Don't I just look really original? Have some stars.
62793 The main reason for the omission of that stuff is nothing more than me being unable to think of anything harmless (and sufficiently demeaning to RD, of course!) to replace it with. Plus RD "breaks" at about the same point in this story as in the real thing, except it wouldn't have been right for Pinkie to carry on against RD's wishes in the family-friendly version. The way I think of it, Pinkie had some ideas for carrying on (horrible puns and all), but she was as disappointed as she was amused to discover that Dash is simply too ticklish to have made it any further.
62837 Don't think I could have gotten away with the "family-friendly" claim if I'd killed anyone! Cupcakes only really had 2 living characters in it, and to bring Gilda in to this at all would have been to bring in all of her, which wouldn't work for what I was trying to do.
63037 Glad you enjoyed it! I did wonder if anyone who hadn't actually read Cupcakes would get very far into this, since without the referential humour I imagined it must seem a bit random. Guess I managed to keep it at least moderately interesting regardless!
So cute! I loved it! My favorite scene was where Rainbow Dash was being tickle tortured by Pinkie Pie!
80628 Thanks for the comment. I'm delighted to see such an obvious Pinkie fan deriving enjoyment from this, given the subject matter of the original fic. And yes, it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to write about our resident egomaniac being hoist by her own petard. Who better to dole out some harmless humiliation than canon Pinkie?
...And thus, the story "Cupcakes" was devised.
Twi's in for a big surprise next Nightmare Night.
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Wow... And I liked Cupcakes too... Aaaaaannnyyyhoof... That was great. Very funny. Now I have two conflicting Cupcakes fics instead of one really haunting one. I liked it. It kept to the jumpy-ness of Cupcakes, while making it more PG, instead of, say R, like Cupcakes. Although it did ruin for me one of my favorite fics by making it funnier and more suitable for younger audiences, it was a great work of fiction and I admire your style. So, this is me, leaving you with this comment and a few simple icons.
PS. I'll always think of this while I read Cupcakes everyday, as my usual routine. Thanks for putting the story up!
Actually, re-reading it again, the beggining seems like it could be a forced breifing on how to find the Secret Ingredient. If she couldn't find it in three days time she would die.
That idea might just be because I watched 30 Minutes or Less a few days ago...
94184 I take it that means I managed to win you over on the concept?
105479 That may be the most positive "You ruined something for me!" response ever. Thanks for taking the time to write all that! I wrote this mainly because I hadn't seen the concept done anywhere else (namely: the story plays out with canon Pinkie rather than serial killer Pinkie). That and I felt like I had too many good ideas for humiliating things to happen to Dash not to write it. With feedback as kind as yours, I'm starting to think I shouldn't be making this fic-writing attempt a one-off...
Oh yes... 1000 views.
yay...
115514 Does that mean you're considering continuing this story into the actual Nightmare Night? I say go for it!
125939 I have some ideas that could potentially go into a totally separate fic if I can come up with a decent narrative (obviously I ripped off what little narrative there was in Cupcakes in order to make this - I didn't have to come up with one all by myself! I'm not a writer by craft so I'm not yet certain I'm up to the task).
To answer your question, I wasn't really thinking of doing any continuations of Cutcakes - I always intended it to stand on its own as both a (hopefully!) mildly amusing rewrite of the original, and as something that could perhaps soften the blow of Cupcakes somewhat by revealing it was written as a prank by Dash of all ponies. The reference I put in there to a prank involving "natural electricity" is supposed to imply that the upcoming Nightmare Night is the same one as in Luna Eclipsed - I always felt that painfully zapping random ponies was a bit of a douchey way to "prank" someone, so this is my way of giving Dash a small amount of retributive justification for it, at least in Pinkie's case. No-one tickle-tortures Rainbow Dash into pleading for mercy and gets away with it!
Then again, if I can come up with a good enough sequel idea, and this becomes popular enough... never say never!
Excellent job.
While I myself am not a huge Pinkie Pie fan, I like what you have done with her in this story.
And I loved the premise behind this story. I have read many fics where a normal, comedic situation was flipped into something gruesome, but reading something opposite was quite a nice experience.
I encourage you to write a sequel, if you have one in mind, that is.
I tried reading 'cupcakes' three times and cant get past the second page.
this is nicely done.
"No-one tickle-tortures Rainbow Dash into pleading for mercy and gets away with it!"
126778
Aww really? We couldn't get some more of that? Hee, I'm just sorry it didn't last longer! XD
256553
Hah, well, as I say earlier... Dash is very, very ticklish. She "breaks" quickly, and Pinkie knows it would have been absolutely wrong to continue at the point when it's causing distress. Blame RD, not me. :P
More seriously though, I wanted to follow the original "tortures" closely, but swapping them out for harmless stuff, since RD will essentially be doing the same thing in reverse. Thus there wasn't much wriggle room to deviate from the relatively short sequences the tickling replaces.
And since no-one's mentioned it yet - There's a short reference to the older generation ep "Pinkie Pie's Party" in this. It's a short reference because that's all I could stomach to watch. This coming from someone who's obviously read Cupcakes. Yeah.
263538
Heh, I guess that's fair. I just like the idea of the big tough ol' pegasus having a cute weakness like that. XD
Can't wait to read whatever you come up with next.
Fun
Best Cupcakes rewrite I've seen. You, sir, deserve 4 spikes out of 5.
Good story I can see why it doesn't have any dislikes!
Cupcakes,Life Is A Party,The Cupcakes Were A Lie, And Serial Murderer
That's Now What You Think Of The Pink Party Horse!
Thanks To Cupcakes! :D
You defeat the nightmare of original cupcake in my mind.
Good job