• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

The Bricklayer


Slow down, you're doing fine, you can't be everything you want to be, before your time... -Vienna, The Stranger: Billy Joel

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Source

Fizzlepop Berrytwist, the mare once known and feared far and wide as Tempest Shadow. But before that, she was just another pony like you or me. As much as she's been wanting to avoid it, not everyone can run from their past forever. Has a way of catching up to you like that. And now Tempest has to face hers, and she returns to her home village to see just what became of her fillyhood friends. And perhaps, just perhaps make a few amends.

(Featured on 1/10/19)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 11 )

Personally I think Fizzlepop Berrytwist/ Tempest Shadow would be a good adventure protagonist, kinda like Jack Reacher. Now that could be a fun read.

First: yay more Tempy!
Second: yay happy reunions!

Must say I’m very honored my story inspired you to write your own. Though mine’s a little depressing I’m glad this one didn’t turn out that way. Makes for a nice juxtaposition between writers and styles that each work in their own way. Thankie for this sweet little story. :twilightsmile:

9396295
Yeah, there's a time for laughter and there's a time for crying. I've provided plenty of those moments over the course of my stories. This time, I just wanted to make people smile for once. Bit of sadness here and there in Fizzle's mindstate, but it ends on a happy note.

...Huh, just realized this is the first story I wrote for Tempest without any TwiPest hints. Hell, originally I wrote it with Spring Rain/Tempest in mind, just couldn't see how that would work, so I went the direction I did with it.

9396161
Well, there was a reason she got chosen to be IXA in Destiny's Play...

Huh I like it very nicely done.

Her backstory sucked

9398058

Her backstory was supposed to suck. She is/was a villain. All MLP villains have crappy back stories.

As for the story itself: ehhhhhh...

This has been a very nice, sad and yet heartwarming read. Good job on the atmosphere, as well as Fizzy’s internal monologue. Also a bunch of nice details, never thought of Grubber as a possible parallel to Spike... nor that Fizzy may have missed a cutie mark this whole time. Some sentences felt a little rough due to a lack of commas, but that’s the only recurring issue I found.

Turns out Fizzlepop originated in G3of all places, as a pony named Fizzy Pop, who bore an identical color scheme and a love for fireworks.

Huh, didn’t know that!

Thank you for this read!

9399775
You're quite welcome. As challenging as this was, fun to do really. And yeah, given Grubber's general role as Fizzle's number two, it's not hard to see him as her version of Spike.

Turns out Fizzlepop originated in G3of all places, as a pony named Fizzy Pop, who bore an identical color scheme and a love for fireworks.

Huh, didn’t know that!

Talk about an intergenerational badass upgrade eh? Caught me off guard first time I learned it as well. Huh. More you know right?

9400170

As challenging as this was, fun to do really.

Seems you tackled the challenge well, for the result was definitely worth that.

Huh. More you know right?

Yeuah, do you know how many of the characters that appear later in the series are based on previous generations as well?

9400643

Huh. More you know right?

Yeuah, do you know how many of the characters that appear later in the series are based on previous generations as well?

It's a fairly short list.

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