Calm and Collected

by Uh-hmmm

First Person Version

These are some fascinating readings. Not just because this is the first time a stallion let me do a full body scan, but also because of who that stallion is.

"Anon, this is amazing! As far as I'm able to determine, you have no magical foci, nor a thaumaturgical membrane!"

He frowns.

"And what would those be?"

I set the parchment aside and focus on him. Not that it's hard to do~

"A magical focus is the part of your body that concentrates and manipulates the mana in your body."

"Like a unicorn's horn?"

I nod happily.

"Or earth pony bones, or pegasus feathers. As for the thaumaturgical membrane, it's a sort of barrier your body creates as you grow older. The membrane of a foal is almost non-existent, and so they are affected very easily by the currents and eddies of ambient magic. That's why they perform a lot of involuntary magic, they are trying to reduce the pressure on their foci by using up that magic. As you get older, your membrane grows and creates a sort of harbor for your foci, or perhaps a reservoir. It slows the ambient flow of magic into you, but you are able to retain more mana."

I slipped into lecture mode, didn't I? I give Anon a sheepish smile

"I'm not boring you, am I?"

He shakes his head, a strange glint in his eye.

"No, this is fascinating. So what you are saying is, I would need a magical focus to use magic, but even if I did, it would be prone to spontaneous spells, since I have no membrane."

I feel my heart sink as I remember why Anon asked for the full body scan in the first place.

"I'm sorry, Anon. I'm afraid you won't be able to use magic at all."

He shrugs.

"It's probably because there is no magic where I come from, so I wouldn't grow the organs necessary to use it. I was expecting that, to tell the truth."

A thought occurs to me.

"Anon, there's something you should know. The thaumaturgical membrane also lets you resist spells. Since you don't have one..."

I frown, thinking of some of my creepier classmates from Canterlot.

"You wouldn't be able to resist a charm spell, or anything like that. Let me know if you suddenly feel strange, and don't believe in love at first sight with a unicorn. Especially if she doesn't seem surprised about it."

He raises his eyebrows

"Good to know. Is there some sort of ward, or anything that would protect against that?"

I chew on my lip, thinking.

"Crystals have something like a membrane, so if you wear some around your body, it should disrupt whatever spell they throw at you. Make sure you hide a few, the sort of mare that would try something is used to normal jewelry arrangements."

Anon nods thoughtfully.

"Thanks Twilight, I'm glad I talked to you about it."

I smile.

"Glad to help!"

He gets up with a sigh that almost sounds indecent.

"Sounds like I should visit a certain fabulous horse. See you around, Twilight."

I walk him to the door of the castle.

"Likewise, Anon. And if you ever want to know more about magic, just let me know!"

He chuckles.

"I'll do that."

As he walks away, I eye his shifting posterior... I do still have his body scan. Perhaps I could fabricate a pillow, as well as something for, ah, penetrating self-insight.
__________________________________________________________

It is something of a slow day in the beautique, as I am in the middle of the spring season of fashion. I pass the time sketching out designs on a pad, searching for inspiration. Then the door opens with a chime, and I put on my business smile.

"Welcome to Carousel Beautique, where- oh, Anon, how may I help you?"

The tall janefilly smiles sheepishly.

"Remember when I said your designs were too gaudy?"

I huff, partly sincere in my anger, however... delight bubbles up inside me. I can practically taste the fabulousity that is about to occur, but I absolutely must not let that show.

"I do remember you saying something of the sort."

I make a show of examining my forehoof.

"If you still feel that way, I can't imagine why you would be here."

Anon sighs.

"I'm sorry Rarity, I didn't realize you were just trying to protect me."

I look up abruptly, searching his face for some sign of duplicity.

"Protect you?"

He nods.

"I heard about charm spells from Twilight, and well..."

He shudders. The poor dear, to have been sheltered from the dark side of mares for so long, finding out must have been a shock. At once I realize the reason for his change of heart. I had hoped to get a little flirty with the measurements, but that would be in poor taste now.

"I understand completely, Darling. Now, there are few options for what you are looking for. If you want completely hidden protection, I can make something with very thin, flat gems sewn between two layers of cloth. It is significantly warmer that may be comfortable for you, however."

He nods.

"I'll probably want some of those for winter."

"Indeed. For warmer weather, the trade off is between how many of the gems will be in the open, and how many you can stand rubbing against your skin. I can hide a few in collars and hems and such, but for the most part, it's either comfort or more easily avoided protection."

Anon rubs his chin, considering.

"Let's try one of each, and I'll see how I feel about it after wearing them around. How much would it be for one of each kind of outfit?"

I wave my hoof dismissively.

"I wouldn't dream of charging for your safety, Darling. Once we get you into something where you can feel safe, then we can start talking about prices and adding to your wardrobe."

He smiles softly at me.

"Thank you, Rarity, I appreciate that."

My heart beats ever so slightly faster at the sight. I do my best to ignore it, focusing instead on measurements and possible designs for Anonymous' unusual frame.

"You are quite welcome, Anonymous."

As the last word of the pleasantry leaves my lips, I devote myself to the cause of Fabulousity once more.
_____________________________________________________

I wave as a teen-aged mare leaves with a bouquet of roses. There's a superstition in the town that my roses increase a mares luck with the stallions, but I think that's just reading too much into name-destiny. I barely wait a minute before the bells on the door jingle again. I am not surprised to see that resident alien walk through the door, pulling his little shopping wagon. It's the same time as the last few visits.

"Welcome back, Anon. Thinking about adding to your flower garden?"

He smiles.

"Got it in one. I figure I should have a large crop for when company comes by. I'm thinking tulips this time, twenty should be good."

I raise an eyebrow.

"You sure lilies wouldn't be better?"

He tilts his head at you.

"Are they?"

I grin knowingly.

"Didn't you hear the rumor? A secret somepony has been planting flowers in the Ponyville cemetery. Imagine my surprise when I find that it's the same assortment as your flower garden."

Anonymous starts to sweat.

"What a coincidence..."

You roll your eyes at his poor acting.

"Well, I think it's sweet. As a matter of fact, if I were ever to meet that special secret somepony, I might offer them a discount on their order."

He blinks.

"Oh. Well, yes, I think I will buy the lilies then."

I head into the back and load up two trays of the potted flowers. As I do, I call over my shoulder,

"If you don't mind telling, what inspired your little project?"

I grab the first tray with my forehooves and totter back to the counter. Anon is looking down at his shirt, an understated black polo with actual emerald accents.

"I've been on the receiving end of a lot of kindness here at Ponyville, and I thought this was something I could do to pay it back a little."

Not specifically to Rarity? I have a chance, then! I smile at him.

"As I thought, you're just the sweetest thing."

He blushes, speechless. I set the tray before him and turn around, sashaying slightly on the way into the back room. When I return with the other set of flowers, he has recovered a little, but his cheeks are still noticeably pink. I regrettably return to business.

"That will be twenty bits, Anon."

He carefully counts out the money before setting it on the counter.

"Thanks for this, Roseluck."

I sweep the bits into the register drawer with practiced ease. I lean my elbows on the counter and rest my chin on my hooves.

"Well, it's not like I don't get anything out of it. The cemetery is practically one big advertisement for my shop now."

He picks up the first tray, the muscles in his arms tensing in a way that makes me lick my lips.

"Huh. Well, I'm glad it worked out that way."

He turns around and crouches as he sets the tray in his wagon. DatFlank.floralarrangement. He retrieves loads the second tray just as distractingly.

"See you around, Roseluck. And thanks again."

I smile at the sweet stallion.

"No problem, Anon. And come around whenever you like, I can always use the company."

He nods and pushes on the door.

"I'll take you up on that sometime."

With that he heads out into the street, door closing behind him. I sigh. One of these days I really should ask him out on a date. Oh well, I'll have plenty of chances later. For now I stow the receipt in the drawer and settle in to wait for the next customer.
__________________________________________________________

I shift my saddlebags a little, making sure none of the ingredients for Angel's salad look like they'll fall. A sparkle in the distance down the road catches my eye. I walk sedately towards it, wondering what it could be. As I draw closer, I recognize the tall, lanky figure. Sunlight glints off the small gems in his clothes pleasantly.

I am glad for Anonymous, ever since he got his new clothes from Rarity a few months ago, he has been much more confident. I never realized how much he was intimidated by magic users. In a strange way, I felt a certain kinship with him. If only I could overcome my fears so easily...

Oh! That's right, I have to tell him about the thing. I trot towards him, mustering my courage.

"Hello, Anonymous."

He turns and smiles.

"Good afternoon, Fluttershy. Doing well, I hope?"

I draw up along side him, trotting to keep up with his long strides.

"Oh yes, very well. And how have you been?"

"Can't complain. Oh, and the fish you got me were delicious, thank you."

I smile at him.

"I'm glad to hear that."

Silence falls for a moment as I try to find the least alarming words possible.

"Anonymous, I have something to tell you."

He raises his eyebrows.

"Yes?"

"My little friends told me about a new monster in the Everfree. I figured that since you also live pretty close, you should know."

He stops walking and looks at me with wide eyes.

"Is it magical?"

Oh.

This poor stallion, even with all his precautions, of course he is still afraid of magic. I smile reassuringly up at him.

"It might be, but don't worry. Twilight is tracking it down. I'm sure she can deal with. And, um..."

I feel my cheeks redden.

"If you like, you can stay with me until it's gone. If you want to."

I said it! Aw yeah, I am so marely right now! Anonymous smiles gratefully at me, tousling my mane with his hand. Mmmm, nice.

"Thanks for the warning and the offer, Fluttershy. I think I'll trust in Twilight, and just stay away from the forest. That should be safe enough, right?"

Oh. Of course, moving in with a mare is kinda drastic, especially a colty mare like me. I manage a cheerful expression for Anonymous.

"You're right, you'll be fine just depending on Twilight."

I hold back a sigh. I wish I could be as powerful as Twilight, so that stallions could depend on me. Anonymous crouches down, wrapping me in his arms. I freeze, unsure about what to do.

He smells so nice.

"Hey, if I do see that monster, I'll come straight to you, and you can use your stare on it, alright?"

I smile and return the hug, warmth blooming in my chest.

"Of course. You can depend on me."

He gives me an extra squeeze, mashing his chest against my tuft, then releases me. He stands up and gives my head a final pat, then starts off to his home.

"See you around, Fluttershy!"

I wave to him

"Y-you too!"

As I trot home, I hold my head up high. Maybe I don't have to be as powerful as Twilight, I can just be myself.
________________________________________________________

As the resident princess of Ponyville, I have some things I have to do myself, like scanning the Everfree. I don't have a lot to go on, Fluttershy's animal friends only told her two things; the monster leaves most of its prey pretty intact, and it smells like death. I'm not sure what that last part means. Does the monster eat mostly carrion? But why would it hunt and then eat so little? Perhaps it's some sort of undead...

I pause.

If it is, then a scan for grave-soil should lead me right to it. I recall the special composition, shift the parameters of the spell formula, then... my horn pulses. The chaotic nature of the Everfree interferes somewhat, but I can detect traces near the edge. As good a starting point as any. I glide to the largest response area. As I get closer, I feel uneasy.

Isn't Anonymous' house out this way? I flap my wings in earnest, hoping the monster hasn't gotten to him. I arrive within minutes, just as Anonymous heaves a large chest out of his house. I descend for a landing.

Wait, doesn't he look bulkier than before? And I've never seen that outfit before, white stripes and a gaudy assortment of colors in between. It's only when my hooves hit the ground that I understand. Anonymous sets the chest down at his feet, drawing what I suspect is a gem studded unicorn horn from his hip holster

The white stripes are bones, the colors are countless feathers. I feel sick.

"Anonymous, where did you get those..."

He grins, spreading his arms to more fully display his ghoulish suit.

"Impressive, isn't it? Don't worry though, the cemetery was plenty for my purposes."

I shake my head.

"Anonymous, we have to return those bones to their rightful owners. They were not meant to be used this way. You are skirting too close to dark magic."

He frowns at me.

"Yes, I thought you might say something like that. Well, give my regards to our friends."

Before I can speak, he waves the bejeweled horn and vanishes in a flash of light. I immediately cast a scrying spell on his astral tunnel, rapidly fading as it is. I follow through, bracing the structure with my own magic. I arrive several miles away from town, with Anon nowhere to be seen. I scry again for astral tunnels, finding one far above me, already dangerously small. He has too far a lead, and he knows where he is going. With a heavy heart, I return to Ponyville. I have a letter to send to Celestia.

From time to time as the months turn into years, I hear news of Gravelord Incognito. Tales of heroism, accounts of war crimes, cities saved and treasures stolen. He even shows up under a different name in a recent Daring Do novel. Fluttershy, the poor mare, keeps his house clean. I knew she had a thing for him, but even so...
_______________________________________________

It's so nice, in Anonymous' bedroom. His scent lingers deliciously. I lay sprawled on the bed, huffing at his pillow. My ears prick at the clatter of bones on wood.

At once, I leap out of bed and glide down the stairs to the entry hall. I arrive as Anon finishes tucking his suit into the hidden closet by the door. I lean against the wall, standing on my hind legs nonchalantly like a cool marely mare. He stands, sweat glistening on his bare skin. Mmmm, mama likes~ He gives me a warm smile.

"Honey, I'm home."

"Welcome home honey. Now give me some sugar."

He leans in and kisses me, filling me with love, confidence, and a little tongue. I respond in kind, the only mare marely enough to tame this wild stallion.

Comments

[FTR2017]

My heart beats ever so slightly faster at the sight. I do your best to ignore it, focusing instead on measurements and possible designs for Anonymous' unusual frame.

As the last word of the pleasantry leaves your lips, you devote yourself to the cause of Fabulousity once more.

I sweep the bits into the register drawer with practiced ease. I lean your elbows on the counter and rest my chin on your hooves.

As I trot home, I hold your head up high. Maybe I don't have to be as powerful as Twilight, I can just be myself.

I shake your head.

Missed a few spots, but besides that it is much easier to read for people like me - who enjoy first person or third more than second.

Thank you for your conversion of this one-shot!

[Starlight Nova]

No one is are harmed

Huh?

[Uh-hmmm]

9707820
wups, edited.

9707777
Thank you for the corrections, it can be hard to catch when I'm so used to writing in second person. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Aerial]

Gonna get a sequel of his heroic and slightly ghoulish adventures?

[nothingtoseehere]

Alpha. As. Fuck.

[FTR2017]

Just read this one-shot again, and I am amazed at how much potential it has if you were to ever venture into a short novel or even a novel with this as the seed.

With that said, it still warms my heart whenever I read it.

[Officer Hotpants]

Well that took an unexpected turn. And yet the ending is still kind of happy.