• Member Since 25th May, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

garatheauthor


"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." - Georges Danton

T

Three hundred years ago, Adagio began an affair with a Count in Romaneia. His dark secret would forever alter her, giving her a taste for blood that could only be kept in check by the magic of her gem.

However, Adagio's gem now lays shattered, yet her hunger remains, growing more potent and ravenous with each passing night. It wasn't long before she made the choice to sate it in order to save herself.

The first kill was gruesome, the second a tragedy, the third a blur...

Now, she barely even acknowledges them.

Tonight marks her 25th victim.


Cover art was done by the awesome soggystyrofoam. I absolutely love her stuff and I'm so happy that she let me use it.
Proofread by my fantastic friend/editor/senpai Rose Quill.
Commission for the awesome EbonQuill, thank you so much for taking a shot on me and I hope you love it.
Sex Tag because Adagio is Adagio

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

Not bad. This was really good. Felt like the whole scene was on a screen for me, playing out in full details. Too bad Wallflower drew the short end of the stick. Seemed like a nice girl and Dagi...(wolf~) she a bad bitch. :trixieshiftright:

Very nice! Im a huge sucker for that pair... happy ending not required.

I do think the description was a little off putting, and may be why not a lot of people have given it a shot yet.

This was a mixed bag for me. An interesting mixed bag! But a mixed bag.

I'll start by acknowledging that I don't care much at all for historical figures being name-dropped in EQG fiction--I fid it jarring to think that people with pastel-colored skin and silly horse names coexist with regular people like Julius Caesar or Cleopatra. But what was even more jarring for me in this story was that it alternated between Equestria-ish places (Saddle Arabia, Germaney), and real-world references like Troy, Rome, etc. Which meant that almost every reference like that pulled me out of the story, and I'm not sure mixing them like that worked too well.

Adagio, though, I really liked in places! It's lovely to see more of her villainous, otherworldly side played up in fiction, so I love the whole idea of this story. That her flirtiness feels more out of pragmatism than genuine interest, I particularly appreciated, and I liked how quickly she could assess Wallflower.

But it also felt like maybe she was too invincible here? Not only is she apparently capable of influencing people's minds just fine without her gem, but she's also superhumanly fast, and it just ends up trivializing everything she does, which I think made the story less compelling. And the potential tension that her scene with Wallflower had when the Memory Stone came out--I was expecting a very different ending--got firmly snuffed when she totally ignored the Stone's effects.

So, I wouldn't say I dislike this story, but not all of it went well with me. Super glad to see evil Adagio stories like this, though, so thanks for writing!

I think properly villainous sirens are easy to take for granted, because there should be so many villain siren stories. But there aren't. And I have to remind myself of that sometimes, and that I should definitely point that out as something I enjoyed here. Far too few stories of Adagio as an unrepentant predator, and this captured that vibe nicely. I do love a club scene, too, and Timber Spruce was a funny addition. I think I might have made Adagio a little more gothic in her inward personality (and once she comes clean with Wallflower), to suggest more how ancient she is, as the swearing nearer the end made her sound more like a teenager to me.

I like historical references in immortal siren stories, personally, but I'd have liked a bit more to make them distinct. Like something that mattered to the character rather than just being included as a historical reference - why did Adagio enjoy talking to Aristotle in particular, rather than Plato, Socrates etc? I find that sort of thing can really bring it to life, and make the character exist outside of the just the story, if it's carefully researched and tied in with who they are.

I would second Naiad's point about invincible villains, though.

So, I should say that I adore villains with no weaknesses, and stories where they win. And I'd recommend this one as a reading exercise; it's a good story but hits the same problem. It's been so obvious from the beginning that Adagio is a higher-level player than every other character, so of course she'll overcome everything they throw at her and get her way in the end. Which is ok when she's the underdog of the story, like if the odds are against her in every other respect. But here, there's no threat to her just sailing through with minimal effort, so there isn't really much dramatic tension. If the story had been from Wallflower's point of view, for example, we'd feel her terror more. But here we don't, because we're seeing it through the eyes of the hunter, and so the only drama is from her messing up the hunt. And it's kind of obvious from the start that she won't?

So I'd say that might be something worth keeping in mind for next time. As I say, I like the idea of a villain who can do no wrong, and who succeeds in the end. But I simply don't know how to keep that tense and dramatic.

Lots of good stuff here, though; thanks for writing :twilightsmile:

9381034
Thank you so much :)

9381193
I really did wanna go for that movie kinda vibe so glad it came off well.

9382745
Yeah descriptions are always the freaking worst.

9382997
Weaving in historical references is one of my very favourite self-indulgent things to do with the sirens. I love history and having characters who have potentially lived through a huge amount of events is always fun to write. But I could've done better with some sick puns.

Also good point on the invincibility. I wanted to present her as strong and super-natural but maybe I went a little overboard. Maybe kept her strength a bit more anchored to the ground.

9383115
Hmmm thank you for the feedback, I added the fic to my RiL. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, though. To add onto Naiad's comment, while addressing your own, along with making Adagio too strong, I totally agree that maybe the perspective of the fic was wrong. I totally could've written a better story from Wallflower's POV. Something to keep in mind if I attempt a fic like this again. Also a fic where Adagio overcomes the obstacle with cunning rather than strength would totally be way more her style.

Hmmmm.

Going to have to agree with the general consensus here. Adagio on the prowl makes for a very compelling headspace to inhabit, but seeing her play with her food isn't the most rewarding direction the story could have taken. If nothing else, I would have loved to have seen Wallflower treat the Memory Stone like a firehose. Just open the lethemancy to full blast and... well, try to drown a siren. An undead one, no less. Almost certainly wouldn't have worked, but this is an instance of Wallflower who actually has something to live for. Seeing her struggle a little harder would have been nice.

Still, if she has friends, those friends will likely investigate her death. And that could lead to one heck of a reunion...

In any case, again, this was by and large a fantastically portrayed Adagio. Thank you for a most engrossing read.

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