• Member Since 2nd Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

ShadowStar_IMHP


I'm a writer of fanfictions. Of course being an amature I have spelling and grammar errors.

Sequels2

E
Source

The Elements of Harmony aren’t weapons. This is a basic fact, they are an extension of the Tree of Harmony a being that thinks for itself. A weapon is a mindless tool of destruction, there is no Harmony in destruction. A thousand years ago the two Royal Sisters fought. Nightmare Moon was a problem the Tree, nor Celestia saw coming. So at that moment when Celestia used the elements the tree guided the power to act the only way it could think of at that moment. Give the Tree of Harmony time to come up with a solution. A plan was formed and the Elements rested to build up the magic needed to save Luna, and Nightmare Moon. A thousand years later the time came to set the plan in motion...

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 199 )

Quite an interesting story. It'll be fun to read I'm sure. Keep it up:twilightsmile:

Interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

well this may prove interesting.

hmmm... I like the idea though the pacing needs some work.

9379281
I believe you are right. I wasn’t 100% happy with the chapter. Couldn’t put my finger on it. I probably touch it up a bit and replace Chapter 1 when I post chapter 2.

I'm glad I pick up this story, I'm liking this concept and waiting see how you'll play it out.

9381680
Glad you like it. Any constructive criticism is welcomed.

i could say 'its been done' and point out past sins
but the fact of the mater is 'everything' has been done "there's nothing new under the sun" or moon in this case
its not in the story your telling, its how you tell it...let us see what tale you weave with this interesting idea.

I mentioned Padt sins in the notes last chapter. Of course I also point out Nyx is not Nightmare Moon. When Nyx was born she had no memories that why she picked up some of Twilight Sparkle personality traits.

The Moonie Shorts would be more alike what I’m doing here.

One major difference between those stories and mine is the age of the filly. Both Nyx and Moonie are Cutie Mark Crusaders age.

Nightshade is the age of Flurry Heart. Much younger and with the memories of Nightmare Moon. So I hopping to be a different twist. Nightshade going to act more Two year old.

Done reading this chapter and I'm liking what you done, espically some world building shortly after the events of Nightmare's banishment. Espically Nightmare's distatse for nobles and it stems from drama in the past.

I haven't found any problems to point out in my first read, if I do come around and see some I'll comment on it.

Keep up the good work I can tell it gonna get good.

That flowed a lot better than the previous chapter, good job.

A really nice chapter you have here, gonna say Breeze and Nightmare(Nightshade) going have alot of fun together. :pinkiecrazy:

And for the origins od Nightmare night is actually quite good, two nobles using their influence to make the public hate Luna, then over time with Celestia's subtle ways to change what it was originally to what it is now.

Also for Nightshade's little antics I can see her causing problems but using the guise of a foal being curious and innocent, and Breeze stopping some of them time to time.

“That filly’s name is nightshade. She’s mine own daughter.” Princess Luna said with a slight hesitation.

Also little correction just capitalize Nightshade's name, and you be good.

9393897
Thanks for the missed capitalization of her name.

Next chapter going to introduce Nightshade’s minions... I mean friends. One a Earth Pony filly named Cream Puff. The other an Unicorn who I’m still thinking about.

9393921
Can't wait to read it, gonna enjoy what little misadventures of Nightshade and friends.:pinkiehappy:

Interesting, using a Shakespearian translator to speak in old English. I was going to say it felt a bit much and unrealistic, but knowing this I say it was a really nice touch.

You're getting better, but I did notice you mixed up past and present tense in the narration, but for the most part, it's looking good, keep it up!

9396130
Practice makes things improved. I don’t believe in perfect lol. Tomorrow I go over the chapters I done and fix the past tense stuff.

I have been sick the last few days so haven't edited the earlier chapters. I will work on those soon.

This is now the most thumbs up I ever got on one of my stories! Seems my writing skill is improving.

New chapter :yay:
Thanks for the update

9406651
Glad you like it. I’m trying for once a week posting. No promise on that, but it’s my goal.

Next chapter will be the last in what I’m calling the welcome home arc.

Comment posted by Raccoon Writer deleted Jan 16th, 2019

9406655
Jajaja some fluffy evil baby will follow I guess...
Mmm now that I think about it how old it's the little nightmare, is she old enough to save some face on the meal time

9406743
She about the same age as the Cake Twins during the episode “Baby Cakes”. She has basic magic abilities that they displayed. Just with knowledge of her older self.

I will have her get a magic surge in a future chapter. Just trying to think of something that different then Flurry Heart’s Surging. So no Nightmare magic beams blasting holes in the castle.

Really nice chapter and introductory to the new foals, and love how they speak to each and to adults just only hear baby babble reminds me of the Rugrats when reading.

I can't wait for the "evil" little Shade will do when she wakes up.

I can't see the crazy things Caddy and Shining gonna drag Luna into in the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

Improving every chapter, keep it up.

9407306
That about right. I’m using Baby cakes as my guide. There a chapter coming up where a Doctor will state his best guess at age.

Wonder if Nightshade’s maturity is beginning to regress.

9408086
I was wondering if someone noticed.

Of course I’m not sure I’m writing it out correctly in the first place. It’s a challenge keeping Nightmare true to herself and at the same time let her be a childish foal and play.

9408112
It probably helps that melodramatically proclaiming things is kinda childish to begin with.

“You are correct your highness. The castle has a number of enchantments on it. Ranging from structural to spacial distortion, the inside is larger than the outside.” Raven Quill stated as she looked at a clipboard held in her magic.

the castle is a TARDIS!

My plans going forward.

Saturday Night I work on a past chapter. Cleaning it up fixing the errors I find.

Tuesday night I work on a new chapter.

Glory to the internet. I found this translator program to change modern English to Shakespearean English.

Can you give me the link. I need it for the Luna in my story. If not I understand.

9411939
I’m happy to share it. Take note some editing will be needed the translations are not perfect.

Shakespearean

Got done rewriting Chapter one. I cleaned up the past tense issues, spotted more grammar and spelling problems. Noticed a plot thread I cut out of this story arc and moved to the next arc. Increased the word count as well!

Made a slight change to the end of Chapter Four. Nothing major the change has Nightshade faking sleeping. Instead of just falling asleep.

A little delay in Chapter five. Reality chose to be a bit of a pain. It's coming!

Blog post about the delay.

A random comment I know but, have you ever tried listening to the work you were right. You’d be surprised at what mistakes you catch when you hear it back

Should be House Platinum, not Plantum.

9431941
Oops. Bad part is I knew that just somehow got past me. Thanks.

The source of the frustration stands before her. A purple unicorn, lavender, no a magenta Nightmare told herself. This magenta unicorn was the only one stopping her from her rightful ruling of Equestria. Twilight Spackle? no that’s not right what was her name? Oh, she was still talking, what!

Pay attention nightmare.

The regression of emotions begins.

9432250
That and instinct of a foal.

Hmm. Dawned on me there a slight timing problem. Cadence and Luna wouldn’t have enough time to do the shopping during Nightshade’s rampage through the castle.

I had Nightshade fall asleep in my outline and changed that to her faking it. This timing hiccup is the result of that change.

Need to think about this problem some.

I have to say I'm impressed at how well you have executed her regression. A lot of the time I read stories that deal with this it's very awkward and slightly disturbing, but you have done it so smoothly I'm well impressed.

9432392
Thanks, I know what you mean. The regression and acceptance should be a process. Same with Luna accept of the foal in her life.

Right now both are in a reluctant acceptance of things.

by the way how did you come up with the name Nightshade?

Comment posted by ShadowStar_IMHP deleted Feb 7th, 2019

9433263
The name Nightshade was a bit of luck and cunning. I wanted a name that still had the touch of the night, that feminine, and hints at what I thought of for her special talent.

The Nightshade flower was perfect and it’s a shade of purple. So that her colors as well. Given Nightmare Moon has purple splotches on her flank it was perfect.

So a name that’s feminine, a beautiful flower, deadly, and mysterious. Just screamed to be Nightmare Moon’s new name.

Login or register to comment