was not that dark, for my standards and for fallout. the story concept for this chapter was good enyway

Aye, was pretty grim. At least the "survivors" have a chance at being rescued, if anyone's brave/dumb enough to raid a Hellhound den. But hey, them's the 'wastes.

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Probably gonna make a sequel on that really quick.

Why aren't there any character tags?

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Because there are no canon characters.

If I could offer any advice, I would like if the characters had small descriptions. Like their color and mane color. It’s just something I noticed. On this story and others; something about dark stories always leave characters blank.

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That's on purpose.

Hear me out here, if I created something super specific, people can't let their mind wander, I've made up their mind for them. Fantasy in general is more available and open if there's room for the reader. Hell, I've even thought of making the characters non gender specific so if someone wants to pretend it's their kinky male character getting violated they can... but that cuts out a HUGE portion of my own descriptive power.

The reason people make the descriptions low or non existent is so people can insert their own fantasies into the story.

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See I really don’t like that. It pulls me out when I can’t imagine what the characters looks like. I shouldn’t have to fill in the blanks. Might as well give them no personality too so I can fill that in too. Sorry but I hate that excuse. I rather they be given a description instead. For me half of a character is what they look like. I know it sounds weird but half of the kink in dark type stories is the loss of innocence. It’s why flutter shy is such a perfect victim in these kinda stories. She has a personality and a face. You already gave them a personality. You gave them a backstory. As small as it is, it’s there. Why stop half way. If you actually want to write a story that people can play fill the shoes in, I don’t know. Make a story from there pov instead?

I know it sounds rude but it just seems like laziness to me. I don’t have the chops to write these kinda of stories. I’m not a creative person and I’m not looking to put my shoes into these characters and definitely not to fill in the blanks. I don’t want be there. I like the fantasy of rape can bring but I rather be far away separated from it as possible.

As much as this story is completely my thing (its even got hellhounds that no one does anything with) it just wasn’t doing it for me. I was constantly way to focused on figuring what all the characters look that I was constantly thrown out of it. It’s a writers job to give a mental picture of the scene. If I want to do that I would be writing it myself.

I need a face. No face no character. No character no enjoyment. Otherwise it’s just two colorless blobs going at it.

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Personally I like having more-fleshed out characters in my clop stories. Makes it more interesting than generic, easily replaceable ponies with bland personalities. It a shame that we never learnt the names of the sisters or that the main focus was solely on the older sister.

Exactly. These are disposable characters. There’s nothing there for me to latch on to. I know rape isn’t your thing but for me part of the sick enjoyment I get from the fantasy is seeing a character, that totally doesn’t deserve it, have this happen to them. That heartbreak. That’s part of it for me. These kinda characters give me nothing and I know there are just one shot nobody’s but I’ve read stories with one shots that at least gave off an impression to me then nothing.

Who is pennies? Why should I care? Or I shouldn’t care because someone else might what the character to be somebody else? Them? I don’t get it. If people want that, role play exists. These are stories though. Maybe if your role playing you don’t need to describe what people look like but this is a story first. A short story for sure but a story non the less.

Oh, please do go this dark again, just as long as it ain't brutal guro or something, this hits that sweet spot I like in grimdark clop.

'Nother good chapter! Kinda fudged on the part where the mare that was talking was suddenly getting ploughed. There wasn't a transition to make it clear that she got picked up during or after speaking to our protagonist.