How Bunnies Almost Took Over the World

by SirNotAppearingInThisFic

Nopony Suspects a Bunny

Today was nearly a day just like any other at Fluttershy’s cottage. Up in the lofts, the songbird choir had just pulled out the book of Hearth’s Warming classics; Fluttershy had been helping them to plan a Hearth’s Warming holiday four months early, before many of them would migrate for the winter season. The squirrels’ Economic Independence Consortium was meeting in the executive flower garden to discuss acorn investment plans. In the living room, several mice advertised their home-improvement services, ranging from putting in doorways to hiring mole crews for den construction from scratch. Angel, however, was making plans to save Ponyville from the greatest threat it had ever seen: cute, fluffy bunnies

Earlier that week, he had noticed more bunnies around Ponyville than he’d remembered there being, to the point that it seemed there would be a some bunny or another hopping about every time he turned around. He started to wonder if they were following him, an idea which carried uncomfortable implications for his safety. He hadn’t exactly left his family on good terms.

When Fluttershy was asleep, Angel hopped his way to the bookshelf on the other side of her room, where she kept things she didn’t want to lose, like a her bunny census. He could suspect all he wanted, but he knew the other critters wouldn’t authorize action on suspicions alone. Careful not to make any noise, he pulled the scrolls out and started reviewing the numbers.

The numbers were as he had feared: over the last two years, the proportion of brown-coated bunnies in the region surrounding Fluttershy’s cottage had increased, as had the overall population by a smaller margin.

It had been a long time, but Angel tried to recall what he could from his time at the Whitetail Warren. Coat colors weren’t considered for most roles, but certain colors were required for region-specific surveillance, or the scouts wouldn’t survive often enough to gather information effectively. Angel shook the memories out of his head; he didn’t remember which colors matched which regions, but he took another glance at the bunny census he held and figured that Ponyville called for brown bunnies.

He couldn’t act on that. He’d need something that actually indicated that the bunnies were planning something dangerous to Ponyville’s residents before he could really do anything.

---

The next day, Fluttershy found three homeless bunnies on her front doorstep. Angel watched with heavy heart as her heart melted at the sight. He wished she could know better, but ponies always trusted cute things. They never believed that cute things could be bad for them.

He fought to keep his stomach from twisting as she set them up in the cottage. The enemy was moving in. What they wanted from the cottage, though, he wasn’t as sure of.

Angel kept an eye on the newcomers as best he could while keeping up with his duties. Acting as Fluttershy’s personal manager had two sides: one was the direct assistance he provided to Fluttershy, such as fetching things or reminding her of scheduled items; the other was as a buffer of sorts between her and the critter world. Angel tried to avoid his role as the latter as much as possible but the critters accepted his input in place of Fluttershy’s because of his close relationship with her. It didn’t translate into any real power over the critter population at large, though; their government maintained an authority completely separate from Fluttershy.

Between minor critter disputes or fetching Fluttershy a pencil to mark the calendar with, Angel patrolled the rafters and sought out the new bunnies. Throughout the day, he hadn’t observed much more than hopping, ear flopping, and nose wiggling. It only made him more certain of their malicious intent; they were probably some of the best operatives that the Whitetail Warren had to behave normally so flawlessly.

As unhappy as Angel had been with the new bunnies, they had crossed a line when he found them wandering out of Fluttershy’s room that evening. He’d just hopped up the stairs and hadn’t expected to find himself face-to-face with anycritter, let alone a bunny. He had no doubt that they were snooping around like the black-hearted fluffy little devils that they were. Angel glared and sarcastically asked them if they had gotten lost.

One of the bunnies made a slicing motion across its neck and then pointed at Angel.

Before Angel got the chance to explain how he was going to claw their eyes out and feed them to Phoebe, Fluttershy stumbled across them all and complimented him on making friends with their new bunny guests. She ruffled their ears and told them that she had carrots for them downstairs.

Angel held his glare until they were out of sight. Fluttershy was going to make it difficult to protect her. He knew he needed to get the critters on his side, and the only critter he trusted to believe anything he had to say so far was Constance.

---

Angel held little outright respect for any of his fellow critters, but Constance was an exception. Angel had first heard the songbird’s name when she joined the songbird choir. Shortly after, her charisma and ideals won her a seat as the songbirds’ representative and a good reputation among all the critters. Most critters didn't know what kind of strings Constance was willing to pull to accomplish her goals, though. For Angel’s purposes, this was exactly what he needed.

He climbed up to the rafters, pushed his way through a small window, and followed a small walkway to Constance’s birdhouse in the leaves of the cottage. It was late, but Constance was still awake, and agreed to hear him out.

After Angel gave her a rundown of the bunnies and his concerns, Constance said to come back when he had something tangible – something that would change the minds of other critters – before she could do anything. She said that it wasn’t enough to say the bunnies were wandering around in the wrong place at the wrong time, as most critters would attribute that to their unfamiliarity with the cottage.

Angel started to explain how serious of a problem that the bunnies were, but Constance cut him off and glanced around. She said that she wouldn’t be surprised if he was right because the only bunny she knew was a right little terror.

Angel glared at that.

Constance assured him that she’d have his back, but Angel had to produce something real, or her wings were tied.

Angel huffed before he left the birdhouse. Moments after he stepped out onto the adjoining rafter, he noticed that the trio of bunnies were all on the ground, watching him. When he returned the gaze, two of them started hopping about their business again. The biggest white one just wriggled its nose. It was enough to make Angel feel sick.

---

Over the next couple of days, Angel stewed on his conundrum. He needed some sort of evidence that the bunnies were up to something and he had to get it before they actually caused any trouble. Worse, he didn’t really know what their plans were, which was really the biggest obstacle. By the end of the second day, Angel’s worries started to coalesce into a course of action: He’d have to gather information preemptively. The only place he knew of that might have any answers was the Whitetail Warren, the center of operations for nearly all bunnies between the San Palomino Desert and the Galloping Gorge.

Fluttershy had a relaxed weekend planned; Angel decided to take a trip then.