• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015
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Cosmic Eclipse


College Student, Tiki Bar Enthusiast, and now occasional Writer. Stay tuned for some big plans on the horizon!

T

This story is a sequel to Pandemic: Dreamers


Set in the Pandemic Universe

A Scholar on a journey,
An Optimist seeking out an oasis,
An Inventor with dreams of a better Tomorrow...

It has been three months since the ETS pandemic left a quarter of the US population transformed into ponies, their entire world having been uprooted in the wake of it, a group of ponies set out to find something new in the world, their paths crossing at an important junction in their lives. Trying to put the past behind them, the group sets out to make their dreams of a brighter tomorrow a reality...

...However, not everything is as perfect as it seems... for some, the future is merely a means to an end, the path to fame and fortune... will the group be able to overcome the many challenges involved with creating the future?

"Dreamers" acts as the introduction for these characters so I would recommend reading it first, however there's no story details that you'll really miss if you haven't read it. The other stories aren't generally needed to understand this one, however Halira's stories, What you are Meant to Be and Picking up the Pieces offer some expanded night pony lore which give a fuller understanding of the concepts brought up in this story. The original story is highly recommended as it offers the basic premise for this rather niche sub universe.

Special thanks to:
ASGeek2012
Halira
Cander
Blackdust
and
Lawra
for offering much needed feedback and advice over the course of writing this story.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 5 )

It's ksp? Kerbal space program?

9469513
No, this is a side story set in the same universe at this story:

TPandemic
The small Colorado town of Lazy Pines soldiers on through a bad outbreak of influenza in an otherwise typical flu season ... until the OTHER symptoms manifest.
ASGeek2012 · 440k words  ·  876  52 · 9k views

Story could use some more description of where things are happening. The dreamscape was given a decent description but the rest seem to be happening more in a void. 1st chapter Silver is going to old home, but the reader isn't given any description of it. Is it upscale? Poor? Big or small place? Why would the humans not want him there?

Characters as well, like in chapter 1 where Gyro and Tinker are going back and forth it's just the conversation without knowing how they were standing, were they moving while talking, their tone when speaking?

The world you're painting feels a bit flat so it's hard to get invested in what may happen.

9471351
This is all very valuable feedback, and I’m definitely going to go back in and address a lot of it. Chapters 1 and 2 are weaker than the rest imo, mainly because they were written before I had as clear of an idea in mind. Chapter three and all subsequent chapters were written relatively recently and it definitely shows a lot more. Chapter 3 in particular has a very detailed section that is one of my favorites so far. Thanks for giving such clear and concise feedback, it all really helps a lot!

Edit: I've added more detail to Chapter 1, I might tweak some stuff a little more but your feedback has been a huge help!

Stanley's portions were definitely stronger and more enjoyable. The vagueness of whatever is going on with the Tinker/Gyro/Silver sections take away from their enjoyment but stuff like Tinker singing as he goes about his work is a nice touch.

The dreamscapes, at least for me, just don't seem that interesting. Seems like a bit more effort could be used to setup and describe things like the little exhibition and what they actually hoped to get out of it. The duo are casting out a fishing line but they seem to be trying to lure people or ponies who probably wouldn't be wandering or enticed by their flier and on such short notice.

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