First!

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Second

Cant wait for even more awesome! Xd

Solid start, and my interest is piqued. Having read a good chunk of the original, the writing on this is massively improved from the original. You're doing good work here, keep it up!

9387724
Thank you, and I will definitely try to keep the quality up and improve it along the way!

Having not read the original, this is great.

This seems like a good start for a re-write story, keep it coming.

Good start with the rewrite. I only have a few questions. The fact that this being is portrayed as so powerful as to even make the qeen of the night fearful, only just to be so easily pushed aside by the elements is rather disheartening. The fact that he could have maybe been left standing and walking a bit before falling might have been a bit more believable. My 2 cents.

Well I loved the original and I am currently reading the sequel and I am excited about this rewrite.

9387843
The thing is, the Elements are portrayed as all-powerful in the show. They can take down anything, and they managed to hold Nightmare Moon in the moon for a thousand years, keep Discord in stone for more than that, keep Sombra in ice for around a thousand years as well, and... I might've forgotten something, but still... No one could stop the Elements of Harmony. And yet, all they did to Mike was knock him out for less than a day. Comparing it to all the other outcomes... the Elements didn't do much at all.

It's not that Nightmare Moon didn't fear the Elements, she just thought that the Mane Six wouldn't be able to get them.

9387923
how is your day going? (5 am for me and good)

9387961
I'm not sure the comments are for this kind of conversation, but I'm good. It's around 6 in the evening for me, and I'll go to bed fairly soon.

9387923
Yes, and I do agree. But those that the elements attack are of evil intentions or selfish motivation. Luna mentions of him not being evil, just lost. Now is it his form the elements responded too or?

9388193
Truth be told, we don't know how Elements would work if a good person was their aim. They could consider Mike dangerous since he wanted to protect Nightmare Moon. But in any case, he was only knocked out. Why it happened instead of anything else is hinted at, plus his intentions were indeed not evil or malicious.

Im interested to see more of this.

I swear I put this in tracking, but apparently not. Great work on this chapter, the quality increase alone has me excited for the story.

I already really like this story, and it's very well done too.

Damn... I hope the Ponys dont give him to mutch shit for his looks and Race...

"He could be tricking you, sister," Celestia warned, "As I said, we don't know anything about him, but he is obviously a demon. You know what comes out of Tartarus, and we have learned to keep it locked."

Well fuck you to Celestial just because he's a demon dasint mean you should treat him like one you don't even know the guy so before you go and juj the you should at least get to know him

9662866
I toldalle agree but knowing ponies there going to do something stupid

9393083
There are two versions of it. The one you were tracking might have been the old version. Its still a good version, but this one seems a little more refined. I have read the other one completely so I am looking forward to the differences.

Celestia see Nightmaremoon defeated and Luna rescued by the Elements but seem to ignore the Elements effect on 'the Demon'. Celestia had a pretty biast view of things and/or chose to see things she likes to see things as she sees em fit

10441915
Well she's an imperialist what did you expect

9743395
I get what you're going for here and I kind of agree with it; but at the same time even if there's a nice friendly tiger in the room with me, I'm still going to be a little bit nervous that it might decide I'm dinner. And humans aren't a prey species, ponies kind of are; I would expect them to be a bit more jittery around dangerous creatures.