Sunset Shimmer, the most talented student of Princess Celestia of all times, is sent on a mission to the frozen north. Almost a thousand years ago, in a war of dark magic, the legendary Crystal Empire has vanished from the face of Equestria. Now, Princess Celestia sends her best student to explore the remains of the long forgotten Empire.
Sunset Shimmer takes on this new mission to prove herself worthy of becoming an alicorn princess herself. However, what she discovers at the remains of the Crystal Empire might change everything.
In the comic "The fall of Sunset Shimmer", there is no indication how much time passed between Sunset Shimmer's first contact with the mirror and her escape into the human world. This story takes place is this period of time and moves on from that.
Once you hit 8K words you should have spaced out your chapter uploads, homie. You get a boost to heat based on wordcount but it caps out around 8-10k.
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Thanks for the advice, I didn't even know that
I'll keep it in mind for next time, but right now I'm just happy I've got it out.
So far so good. Been a long time since I've seen Sunset this arrogant, so it'll take some getting used to.
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Hopefully not too long
Let me know what you think of her by the end of this act!
Oh no wonder Sunset's ego is so big. Celestia calls her talented like she calls Twilight faithful. It's pretty much Sunset's title. Curious why she thought Celestia would be more concerned about the mission than her well-being
And there's the amnesia wrinkle. Sombra's indoctrination is pretty interesting, and makes a lot of sense. It's gonna take a while for Crystal to be able to overcome that, especially considering it's one of the only memories she has.
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Yes, the amnesia is something I think worked well in the show and opens up a lot of possibilites. I've used it in my other stories as well, but not in the same way. We'll see how it goes.
... And it looks like Sunset just kinda...reverted. She had something going there, but as soon as she isn't allowed to keep studying the mirror, she goes back to the same arrogant person she was. Well, maybe not entirely the same, and I do hope working with Crystal will be beneficial to Sunset's growth
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Maybe not in the way you expect, but there will be some changes.
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Glad you like it
I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be ready before next year at least
Well, this seemed like a surprisingly healthy discussion. Celestia is becoming aware of her faults and is actually telling Sunset a bit about why she's blocking access to certain information. Celestia doesn't want another Nightmare Moon. Hopefully with a clearer direction and instructions, Sunset can start making some progress. Communication is key, and they all need to be better at it.
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They sure do. But one talk doesn't solve everything usually.
Celestia really doesn't want another Nightmare Moon, but she doesn't really understand what went wrong in the first place yet. That's why she puts the blame on mind magic and doesn't even think about looking for things she might have done better.
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True, true. Didn't think about that.
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Well, I do have an unfair advantage since I already know the next chapter, I guess
Good progress this chapter. Sunset rectified her mistake at least a little bit
Yeah....a lot of Crystal's memories are not going to be pleasant
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Yeah, there's going to be some hiccups
Oh I can totally buy Sunset accidentally setting a guitar on fire when she was younger. This was an absolutely lovely chapter. It's great to see Crystal smile like that, and Sunset's making great strides with her.
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Glad you enjoyed it!
...yeah, should have seen the illiteracy part coming. Crystal Note was probably just one of Sombra's slaves, and well, there's no use teaching a slave how to read. Before Celestia mentioned Luna, I actually thought Crystal would know Cadance's full name for some reason. Like, the name would remind her of the Empire's previous rulers or something.
Does Sombra appear in this story?
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Only during flashbacks, not as a character.
Aaaannd, here comes Cadance to remind everyone of the old Sunset. She may be making progress with Crystal, but Cadance is not her. I do like how Cadance isn't as dumb as Sunset likes to think she is, though. I get the feeling that while they probably won't be friends, they might eventually learn to respect each other at the very least.
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I always liked Cadance, maybe not so much in the actual show but for all the potential spins you could put on her backstory.
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I can agree with that.
Bingo. That's the real question there, and it'll be interesting once Crystal meets her. Also, Sunset, the mirror isn't that important. Chill.
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I'm still torn on how to realize this the best way, but I think both of my main ideas can work out in the end
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I'm glad you enjoy it, thank you so much for your kind words
Even if I suddenly feel so much pressure
You used Sunset's full name a lot in the first few paragraphs of this chapter. To be honest, it was a little distracting. If that's just your writing style, I won't comment any further, but it did read a bit oddly to me.
That being said, Crystal was an absolute badass. It's always great seeing Blueblood be put in his proper place, and even better seeing him turned into a whimpering mess.
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It was (mostly) intentional. The first part of this chapter is a lot of exposition dump, so I tried to seperate it from story-driven part by that. Guess it didn't work that well.
Sorry it irritated you that much.
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It's not a big deal, just found it a little odd.
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I'm just not too happy with this chapter overall
That said, time to get the next one online
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I really liked the chapter as a whole, it was just the repeated use of Sunset's full name that bugged me.
That poor Lieutenant. Another good chapter. Cadance got valuable advice in terms of both magic and what to do about Crystal.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it
This was an excellent chapter. I think Crystal really needed someone to just let her...feel. Let her vent out her emotions. Even if Cadance doesn't understand perfectly, she still understands emotions better than everyone around her.
I'm reminded of a couple lines from the English version of "Bad Apple". "Maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real/But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel". It's kinda how I see Crystal's mindset for most of this chapter.
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I'm glad you like this chapter and thank you sooo much!
In ealier chapters, Crystal Note didn't have much of a mindset at all except following, and Cadance was there in time to help her get to it, even if it's not the healthiest one. But now she has a chance to go on from that at least. Or, that's what I wanted to do with it
Well, that worked a lot better than last time. Sunset really needs to get over herself because Cadance is making a lot more progress with her methods than Sunset is with hers. And together, they make strides. Glad Cadance is clued into the significance of her cutie mark, though. Celestia definitely is acting strange.
Hmm....the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration coming up soon? Is that what's got Celestia checking the moon constantly?
Did...anything actually change from the first time I read this? Your explanation for Celestia did make sense, but I was hoping you'd add in that Cadance scene you were mulling over. I could be wrong, since it's been about a month, but this seems largely the same as I remember.
Hmm...I do appreciate removing Celestia's outright dismissal that she ever cared for Sunset. That was one of the biggest issues I had.
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No, I've decided that Cadance and Celestia will talk in the next intermission chapter, which will be some time after Sunset and Crystal Note passed through the mirror. I'm still working on it.
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That ended up as the way that worked best for me without giving up my own ideas. I hope the relationship between Celestia and Sunset (or rather how they each see it) is a little clearer now, since it's a great motivation for Sunset in the next chapters.
Alrighty then. I hope my feedback was helpful, and I look forward to what you put out next.
Great story, i came here looking for a nivel sunset shimmer origins because every story so far madre her a tragic víctima of sircumstance, they forget how sunset was cold and methodical.
your sunset shimmer is exactly as she is suposed to be without the elements.
Plus cristal note carácter is nice and well developed, im starting your entire AU while you finish this soy.
Thanks and keep on writing
Slight mistake here.
10087097
I don't know, seems perfectly fine to me, assuming you like your Starswirl Kentucky Fried.
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10087097
Thanks, and fixed!
Hmm. Things seem to be going pretty well so far. I wonder how long it'll take for Sunset to realize that this Celestia is not the one she knows. I mean, she and Crystal camped out the portal for a few days and no one chased them through it.
Ah...this is what I was waiting for. Cadance finally makes Celestia realize what she did and what she meant to Sunset. Of course, this doesn't change anything; Sunset and Crystal are gone, and they won't have a chance to come back for another 2.5 years. Not until Twilight comes along.
A different universe?