• Member Since 7th Feb, 2018
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damiranc1


Dinosaur fan. English is not my native language, and my stories can sometimes be really hard to read. Twirax shipper DERPI-LINKVALIDATION-3A1B5ADE8B

T

REWRITE
*longer story.
*deleted "shy voice".
*longer dialogues.
*new cover art.
and more

Fanfic based on Smolder's story.

Alicorns have the ability to see their previous lives. Twilight decides to share information about one.


Dark Purple dragon lord Gaius was one of them.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

"Please don't hurt me Dragon Lord ... I didn't knew it was your mountain" she was terrified of his muscular appearance. "What are you doing here?" surprise appeared on his face "Should not you be at your home?" "I ... " she looked on ground. "I used to have a home ... But now I only have this mountain ... " "What's your name?" he asked her with pity in his voice. "Scales" she just answered, trying to hide her fear. "My name is Gaius ... nice to meet you Scales" he smiled "I invite you to Feast of Fire. Will you join?" He just offered her a claw. Scales smiled, and grabbed his claw. "Of course I will sir. Gaius" she smiled wider. They both dissapeared in the rain holding each other claws.

Pretty good. I would just change "knew" to "know".

A great story with a great premise. I sincerely hope you intend to write multiple chapters

You sure you don't mind me using your story as inspiration and the idea?

9373171
Like I said… No problem my friend :twilightsmile:

Interesting idea, well executed, and definitely one of your best stories grammar wise. Just needs some better spacing between paragraphs, and a little bit of work on the flow.

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