Just a nice, polite Canadian.
Breaking news! Rent-A-Pony is proud to announce that it's slashing their prices yet again.
One dollar will now get you one whole day with a pony of your choice.
Sounds too cheap to be true? Stop asking questions and rent a pony anyways!
Seriously... just stop asking questions.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Because Tomorrow Steve forgot to get the pizza money from Anthony.
where do i pay?
A dollar a day for soft, huggable ponies? Best changeling invasion ever.
This is a kind of changeling invasion I am entirely happy with. In fact I struggle to think of one I wouldn't be.
I would rent.......
Hrrm...
Pinkie.
AND LUNA.
THE CAKE AND MAGICAL ANOMALIES HATH BEEN QUINTUPLED!
WANT.
At least there nice about. You know, right now.
This would definitely be WAAAYY more awkward in real life...
"All right," Chrysalis said, "we've successfully infiltrated Rent-a-Ponies into households across the ten most powerful countries on this planet. We have computer passwords, nuclear launch codes, and orders of battle we can use to nullify any resistance. The time has come to conquer this pathetic world!"
A changeling in the front row of the auditorium looked up. "Eh, no," it said.
The queen blinked. "What."
"Y'see, some of us have been talking," the mouthy changeling said, and its neighbors nodded agreement. "We get some real scuzzy guys sometimes, yeah, but most of our customers are nice and generous and fun to be around, you know? We get free pizza and cokes, or cider-"
"My best customer gives me beer," a changeling four rows back interrupted. "Craft brew stuff, not mass market."
"And, most importantly, all the unconditional affection we can eat," the first changeling finished. "It's a sweet racket, and we don't want to spoil it by destroying this world, you know?"
"WHAT??" Chrysalis raged from behind her podium. "This whole farce was so we could conquer this world as a stepping-stone to my final revenge on..." She paused, brought out a list that did the traditional drop-to-the-floor-and-roll-out-for-several-feet gag, and began reading. "... on Twilight Sparkle, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, Celestia, Luna, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie-"
Under the queen's wing, something buzzed.
"-oh bother!" She pulled out a cellular phone, took the call, and said in an entirely different voice, "Hello! Welcome to Rent-a-Pony, this is Princess Pomegranate! Thank you for your continuing- yes? ... well, she's in a meeting right now- yes... yes, you did buy the VIP package... no, you're quite right. She'll be right over. Yes, thank you, bye-bye now!"
There were a couple of sniggers from the changeling horde filling the auditorium.
"We'll talk about this later," Chrysalis snarled. "For now, get back to work."
Half an hour later, a knock came at Celestia's bedchamber door.
"Come in," the princess of the sun sang out.
The door opened to reveal Princess Pomegranate, a sheepish-looking unicorn with unnerving green eyes. "Good evening," she said. "You said you wanted me for the evening?"
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "No," she said quietly. "You know what I want."
"Pomegranate" sighed, and in a flash of green light was replaced by a slightly younger unicorn with a familiar purple coat, her starburst cutie mark concealed by a schoolgirl uniform. "Yes, Princess Celestia," she said quietly.
"That's better," Celestia smiled. "Now, I have all sorts of things to teach you this evening about the history of the griffon clans..."
Queen Chrysalis, disguised as Twilight, whimpered and wondered how many more sessions she'd have to endure before Celestia finally hoofed over the negatives...
9363733
Rule #1 of blackmail - Never give up the negatives.
Rule #2 of blackmail - Schoolgirl uniforms on unicorns are hawt.
It’s always a changeling invasion why is it always a changeling invasion?
Huh, at first I thought it was Scumbag Steve. But no Steve who hangs out with Fluttershy is a scumbag. Anyway, changeling or no changeling, it still beats dakimakura.
Invasion of soft fuzzy adorable ponies that may or may not be changelings. Welp, this is one invasion that is clearly too powerful to defeat. I surrender unconditionally and resign myself to my fate of pony hugs and cuddles.
I was wondering how they would be able to get all those ponies (and have multiple copies of each on standby). A changeling "invasion," whether it's Chrysalis or Thorax, would make sense.
9363771
Rule #3, make backup copies of everything.
relative
remove
past
9363785
Well, yeah, sure. But that’s tomorrow’s problem - right now there are changelings^Wponies to hug and play videogames with.
9363443
You'd have to go pretty far into ridiculously ooc, grimdark territory to find a bughorse I wouldn't aggressively snuggle with langorous intent and comfy aforthought.
I hate Steve.
Defpones SO need to happen
I fucking knew the chapter title was gonna be a Deftones joke.
This was absolutely terrific.
I'm down.
Least the identity of Princess Pomegranate is not wholly unanswered. Time to welcome the new overlords.
9363785
Because it's Monday.
Tuesday, we get Windigos.
Wednesday, we get Sombra and his desperate need for the Heimlick.
First rule about Thursdays? WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THURSDAYS.
Friday, it's Sirens (and I'm in love).
Changlings that makes sense
Renting a pony sounds great...
But is there any chance Chrysalis is available for grabs!!?? I pay extra!!!
I... I can lewd this from the title alone...
If I had a choice , I’d choose Twilight for conversation, Fluttershy for emotional support, and Luna for hijinks.
9368455 I'd pick Rainbow Dash for movies. I hate Michael Bay, but I'd watch some just to get her reaction.
9367176 VIP package. So... two dollars a day.
9365002 Thank you!
9364745 Steve hates life.
9363733 Fantastic.
Thanks for writing that... could be a bonus chapter, honestly.
9368524 There's a whole thing for bonus chapters: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/387377/never-the-final-word-vol-2
Rent a pony, i had the wrong idea i thought it was a escort service.
As Kris pointed out, this is a much sweeter deal as is than the inevitable conquest. Lovely bit of goofiness and machismo penetration. Thank you for it.
Came here from Never The Final Word. So good!
How did Steve and Anthony know about Changelings?
*shrugs*
Likely overthinking, but this world is so cool, just by Rent-A-Pony's existence!
Lewis Carroll, no
?
Vannamelon! Vannamelon-confirmed!
Yea, I'd be bankrupt in a week.
9363771
Oh my yes to the second part!
I, for one, welcome our changeling overlords.
9525849
SHUSH! fluttershee will hear!
9367953
NO SUNNY!