• Published 19th Dec 2018
  • 651 Views, 31 Comments

Twilight sparkle is Really Mad now - jakkid166

Twilight is in Equestria because she live there and she is really mad cause now she has to deal with the NEW annoyoying bad guy and shes gonna have to fight to him. Bad

  • ...

Ultimate battle

The FRARPT (fluttershy rainbow applejack rarity pinkie twilight) group ran up to my front door. Twilight ran up and rang the doorbell.

"Who is it" I said.

"Its Twilight Sparkle. Im here to deliver a pizza."

"Oh sweet pizza!" I said and I almost open the door but then I realize they was calling their bluff! "Wait a minute did you say youre TWILGIHT SPARKLE? You idiot you cannot trick me! My detective mind shits all over your pony brain"

"Dammit!" said Twilight. "Okay guys it looks like we are gonna have to tepelort in." But then she looked at the door and saw it was locked so they couldnt get in

"NO!" said Twilight. "NOW how are we gonna get in if the door is locked? We will have to find another way to get into th building."

"But how?" said Rainbow.

"I dont know," said Twilight. "Oh wait yes I do" And she pulle a bobby pin out of her hair. "It is time to lock pick, good thing I learned because jakkid bought me Fallout New Vegas."


"Sir the ponies are outside!" said a minion to me. "What are we going to do? They might get inside and kill you"

"Dont worry," I said.

"Oh okay."

"Anyway," I said and I took the elements out of my pocket. "Load these into the Magic Cannon so we can blow up Tartus and set all the vilains free."

"Alright," the henchman said and he took them and put them in the cannon. "It needs 15 minutes to charge properly though"

"Shit!" I said. "Okay thats fine as long as we dont let Twilight and her friends get here before then. WHat are thye even doing anyway?"

I went and looked at the sekurity camera of the outside and saw Twilight lock picking the door!

"Fuck!" I said and I grabbe a stapler off the desk and starte shooting staples through the camera at Twilight.

"What the hell?" said Twilight "Ow that hurts! Stop it" and they all ran away.

"YEEEEEAH!" I said and I jumped into a chair and danced evilly. "Ive beaten the FRARPT team!"

"Thats what you think." said the henchman and then he pulled out a gUN and pointed it at me!

"What the hell are you doing?" I said to him

"I am traitoring you. Because I was the spy the whole time, and im a changeling!"

"No!" I said "You will not defeat my plans. My plans are too intelligent. They went to college"

"Not," said the traitor. "Luckey for you, my orders from Princess Luna are to bring you in alive. Therefore I must capture you without killing your you."

"Yeah well how you gonna do that idiot?" I said. "The element gun is charging and noting can stop it now. The vilains will be released and I am the only one who can stop them!"

"Shit!" he said and he pulledout his walkie talkie. "Princess Luna he is a stalemate! What do I do?"

"You must thinketh a solution," said Luna. "Every day we musteth all overcometh the problems of thy life. Shit's fuck, yo"

"Youre right!" said the guy and he hung up. "Detective jakkid I will beat you no matter what it cost! Also my name is Nick Currant by the way."

"Hmm," I said. "That is very interesting, but also fuck you." and i pulled out my OWN gun and we were at gun standoff!

"Bastard!" said Nick. "I see we are evenly match. We shall duel, and whoever gets killed dies."

"Very well" I said, and we both JUMPED away from each other and shot bulkets at each other from our guns! But because we was evenly matched we kept shooting at each other and my bullets kept hitting his bulets in midair so nether of us got hurt.

"Aha," said Nick "You have gun, but I have another trick up my pocket!" and he pulled a TASER out of his sleeve and he gave it to me and I tased him with it.

"Fool," I said but then the taser shocked ME instead! "SHIGHIGHWIHTIWIWU"

"Haha it was a trick!" shouted him and he pointed his Arresting Not Lethal gun at me. "Any last words before you go to jail jakkid?"

"No." I said. "Wait shit that was a last word."

And then Nick shot his gun at me, BUT the BULLET JAMMED IN MIDAIR

"NO!" he said and I SPUN KUCKED the gun so hard it bounced off the walls like 8 times and shot arresting bullets everywhere. and then one of the bullets hit Nick and he got arrested and put in handcuffs.

"See," I said "I told you you cold not have beat me. I thus beat you with pure skill. Thus is detective skill."

"Dammit..." Nick said "Twilight and her frends will stop you!"

"Wrong," I said.

"No im not."

"Yes you ARE!" I said and I open my walkie talkie "HEY one of you henchmen guys take Nick to prison! The access code to the entire base is 672312190"

"What the fuck Jakkid how are you talking to me" said Luna.

"Wait shit wrong number." I said and I dialed the real henchmen number but then i realized. "OH SHIT!"


Twilight was picking staples out of her hair. "Dammit girls what do we do now?"

"I dont know," said Fluttershy. "Detective jakkid really piss me off! We need to piss on him instead. Metaphoricaly"

Twilight was mad. She had veins sticking out of her head "Fuck! I am so mad right now that I am even frowning. I am going to fucking kill Jakkid if he doesnt surrender or turn good again."

But then Princess Luna walked up to them. "Hey you Twilight and whoever else! Guess what?"

"What?" said them.

"I got the secrete code to Jakkids base."

"Oh sweet!" said them and they all ran to the keypad at my base's secret entrance no one knows about. Even I dont know about it

"Okay whats the code?" said Twilight.

"I forgot," said Luna.

"Okay well lets try this" said Twilight and she put in a random number. "Sweet it worked!" the door unlocked.

Meanwhile I was lookin at the charging ray which was 80% done and I said to Nick "Haha. You are about to fail. Now you cannot stop me from saving Equestria"

"Asshole!" said Nick "How cold you do such an evil thing?!"

"Because im evil, dumbass" I said. "It is now at 90%. Almost done. Good thing I payed for Google Fiber."

But thena different henchman ran up to me and said "Detective evil! I have good news and bad news."

"Sweet!" I said "Whats the bad news?"

"The bad news is Twilight and her friends has infiltrated the base."

"Oh god damn it!" I said "Whats the good news?"

"The good news is my boyfriend propose to me," he said.

"Oh sweet congrats. Anyway what was we talking about?"

"Twilight is in the base."

"FUCK!" I screamed and I punched myself in the face "Okay listen you henchman! Gather all the henchmen and lock down all doors and windows and toilets! Whatever you do NOT let Twilght and her frends reach this room!"

"I understood!" said the guy and he ran off and sounded the alams. And all the doors shut closed like the door to the base and the dor to the room I was in and the door to the microwave which was cooking my popcorn so my popcorn burned.

"Shit" said Twilight as doors was closing and locking around them. "We gotta run!" and she and the rest ranthrough the hallways as doors close around them. But then they got closed in!

"Shit we are trapped between two doors!" said Applejack. "What are we gonne do?"

But then the walls started CLOSING IN!

"Hell!" said Rarity "We gotta do somethin!"

"Wait lok up there!" said Pinkie "There is a vent in the floor above us!"

"But how are we going to get up there? We need someone who can fly," said Rainbow.

"I can use magic to lift you up to the vent and pull us up into it!" said Twilight.

"Good idea!" and Rainbow grabbed Twilights hand and they all link together and Twilight lift them all up to the vent and she took out a flathead screw driver and try to unscrew it.

"Shit!" said Twilight "These is philips head screws! I only brought flat head screwdriver with me!"

"Twilight the walls are closing in more!" said Flut

"Wait I got it" said Twilight and she use the screwdriver to file her horn down to the shape of a philip head screwdriver. then she stick her horn in the screw and spin around a ton and the gate was open.

"Quick guys lets get in!" she said and they all went in the vents.


"Hell yes," I said smogly. "The magic cannon is at 95% now. Soon, Nick, you shall see the birth of a new era of jakkid166."

"Idiot," said Nick. "You may become a greater detective, but you also make everyone hate you!"

"Everyone will love me when I defeats the villains!" I said. "Now shut up prick. I bet you sniff your own butt and think it smells good"

"Yeah well im hungry. Cant you order some sandwiches while we wait or something?"

"Actually yeah thats a good idea. What sandwich place you like?"

Little did I know though Twilight and her frends were watching me through the vent of the room I was in.

"What are we gone do to stop jakkid?" said Rarity.

"If we gonna infiltrate him, we need a disguise" said Twilight.

Meanwhile I was ordering Firehouse Subs on the phone and I hung up. "Hell yeah I cant wait for me pastrami sandwich." and I turne on my radio and put a CD in and started playing David Bowie music.

"You suck," said Nick.

"Why dont you join me? We can fight vilains together and be the true duo of power and power!" I said. "We can be heroes. Just for one day"

"Never," said him.


It looke to me like a realy tall guy in a big tranch coat.

"What on fuck?" I said. "Who even are you?"

"Uh," said the trench coat guy. "I am the sandwich delivering guy."

"Oh hell yes!" I said and I grabbed my money. "How much does it cost"

"One Magic Cannon."

"Wow thats expensive, but its worth it for fire house subs." so I went to grab the cannon but then i realize something. "WAIT A MINUTE!" I said and I spunned around. "Cannons are not currency! What wold firehouse subs want wiht me cannon?!"

"Uh," they said "They need it for shooting mayo on the sandwiches."

But then I went and RIPPED THE COAT OFF and it was actualy TWILIGHT and her friends!

"Hah!" I said. "You cold not fool me."

"Dammit," said Twilight "He is too smart."

'You almost got me however," I said. "And it make sense. It was a complicated disguise."

"Not realy complicated," said Twilight "More like detailed."

"Or complex" said Nick. "Or sopisticated. Many words can fit for it."

"Those all mean the same thing you twats" I said and I pulledout my gun. "It is done charging now. Dont move while I go to fire it!"

"Shit," said Twilight "What do we do now?"

"I dont know," said Rarity.

"I dont know either," said Applejack

"Me either" said Pinkie.

"Or me," said Rainbow.

"Not me either" said Fluttershy.

"Nope not me either," said Nick.

"Nor me," I said.

"Well, fools, it is time to unleash the new era upon tha world!" I said and I SLAMMED MY FIST ON THE FIRE BUTTON!


"ohhhh NOOOOO!" I said

but the laser refleckted off the metal of his handcuffs and went towards ME!

"OHHHHH NOOOO AGAIN!" I shouted and the laser HIT ME AND KNOCKED ME INTO WALL AND I HIT MY HEAD and fell unconscious (NOT DIED).

"Noooo jakkid!" said Twilight and went to me and punched me in the stomach. "Speak to me jakkid!"

"Cough," I said. I open my eyes and looked at Twilight. "Oh hi Twilight what are you doin here?"

"Jakkid I think the element magic turn you back to good!" said Twilight.

"What the fuck are you talking about" I said. "Wait. Oh SHIT i remember now. Damn I became evil? That sucks."

"Yeah but its fine cause youre good now," said Rainbow.

"Yeah haha cool glad that was resolved." I said. "Lets all go eat some fucking Ice Cream"

But then a henchman ran in "Sir what is you doing?"

"Im not evil anymore, so you are fired."

"NOOOOO!" said the guy. "I NEED this JOB! Fuck you jakkid I will become the new evil guy!" and he ran to the cannon and aim it at me and he FIRED! But I jumpe out of the way and instead it hit the microwave

"SHIT!" I said "I have my popcorn in htere! Everyone evacuete the building!" and the Micorwave started rumbling and started poruing tons of popcorn out of itself!

I grabbed Nick and threw him onto Twilights back and us all ran outta down the hallways while popcorn was flooding the place! And then we finaly made it out and the henchmen escaped too and the building EXPLODED into popcorn and popcorn went everyfuckingwhere.

"Yeah," I said as a popcorn landed in my mouth. "Looks like that place just got... popped."

And then Celestia and Luna landed next to us and said "Detective jakkid I see you have return to normal now."

"Yes i have!" I said "I am sorry for becoming evil, but it also wasnt my fault so Im actually not sorry."

"Oh yeah good point." said Celestia and she made her horn glow and Zecora appeared next to us.

"What the fuck?" said Zecora "I was driving my truck." and we heard a crash sound and sirens in the distance

Luna gave Zecora a broom and pointe to the popcorn. "Zecora go clean up that mess you made."

"Dammit okay fine," said Zecora. "Stupid princesses always whine." and she went to go sweep up the popcorn and probably also eat it.

"Well jakkid im glad everthing is back to normal!" said Twilight.

"Yeah I am too I guess. Now guys lets go back to Ponyville and do something."

"Sounds good" they said. But as we walked away, I turne around for a brief moment and give the camera a Sinister Look...


Comments ( 4 )

"Oh yeah good point." said Celestia and she made her horn glow and Zecora appeared next to us.

"What the fuck?" said Zecora "I was driving my truck." and we heard a crash sound and sirens in the distance

Luna gave Zecora a broom and pointe to the popcorn. "Zecora go clean up that mess you made."

"Dammit okay fine," said Zecora. "Stupid princesses always whine." and she went to go sweep up the popcorn and probably also eat it.

I am always amazed that Zecora still rhymes in these. Truly the sign of a godly author.

Ugh, really? Having the villain's doomsday weapon on a timer is extremely cliche. I expect more from an author of your caliber. Still, everything else is perfect though, no problems whatsoever.

im sorry but it is the reality of what happen. i cannot change the true facts and events

Author Interviewer

Not your best story, but it was still a trip. Thankfully, I have already read your better story or else you would be washed the heckies up!

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