• Member Since 7th Feb, 2012
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Alex Warlorn

Just your average Brony who happened upon an idea that might actually turn out to be clever enough for guys to love.


A final explosion of drabbles, most written in the span of 24 hours, written by request. This is my swan song for my creative works. I hope you manage to enjoy them all. Most are comedies, some are emotional, some are a little profound. All involve the ponies we'e come to know and love.

Chapters (32)
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Comments ( 94 )

So what, then? You're leaving this site?

I have the final chapter of pony pov series to post.

You know, it's subtle, but I get the feeling that you disagree with some of the show's creative decisions. :raritywink:

So long, and thanks for all the ponies.

I'm happy it didn't come across as brow beating then. *hugs*


I just think they meant it's surprising you're totally done with fanfic

I said this on Deviantart, but I don't think the Washouts really qualify as a "dropped plot point/character" since they just appeared six episodes ago in the most recent season.

You didn't give any rebuttal when the list was made.

Well, I might as well give this fic a read and see what it beholds.

Yaks are really thin-skinned for such big guys.

Twilight wondered what Spike was up to, Spike was never lazy with his chores, but ‘it snows even in Florida sometimes’ as Sunset Shimmer told Twilight once, whatever that meant.

Born and raised in Florida, and I have not see snow yet...I'm jealous now. :ajsleepy:

Hmm. Pinkie and Minty. Those two are cut from the same cloth.

"It's not the game that's stupid! It's the ending that's stupid! What's the point of doing a buncha hard stuff if buncha depressing stuff happens at the end?! I thought I was saving the world!"

I've always hated those types of games. Which is why I am always hesitant to touch another horror game.

Capper...*shakes head in pity*

Gilda gulpped, with all the fur on her back half standing up.

"I thought destiny was supposed to knock!"

"Knock knock." He knocked Gilda on the head.

Rota Fortuna as a silver griffon appeared for a moment and said, "I did. You told me to buzz off. Now you get Boreas. He's not as nice as I am."


"It's fine Rainbow Dash, I'm your jailer!" Gabby welcomed Rainbow Dash to her dungeon cell, more nicely furbished than most houses in Griffinstone.


"Who else would Gilda pick? Grampa Gruff? He'd forget to feed the prisoners and when they came to let them out all that would be left would be a pile of bones."

"Uh, you're not speaking from experience are you?"

Gabby said nothing.

She thought, 'She probably doesn't want to know how much he charged their families to get the bones back.'

Oh my goodness. :twilightoops:

"We will be certain that he knows that he has Diamondia's gratitude. And we'll be certain to etablish a dog-house, er, embassy in Ponyville for Diamondia as well... on the opposite side of Ponyville from the Abyssinian's of course. Is there anything else?"

"YES!" Queen Trixie barked, baring her fangs, her blue fur bristling as she stood on her paws. "Can you get Starlight to undo this polymorph curse already!? Trixie wants her horn back!!!"

What the hell?! Dammit Starlight, when are you gonna stop f:yay:cking things up?!

Diamond Tiara groaned, she concluded the world was out to get her whether she was a good filly or not sometimes.

I think I agree.

Rainbow Dash, you sneaky bastard! :rainbowlaugh: And Applejack and Rarity swapped were not too bad.

"Melody, when Ace asks you ..." Then Patch realized saying 'today' would actually be very stupid then 'today' is always today. She didn't want to leave Melody trapped with a hypnotic command forever. "In the next thirty minutes from when I'm talking right now, when Ace asks you on a date, you will say yes, and mean it."

Good points for thinking things through Patch.

A young Apple Bloom brings home a 'lost kitty'...which is actually a skunk.

Note, my uncle ACTUALLY DID THAT once.

:pinkiegasp: Oh NOOO! :rainbowlaugh:

"I don't believe it... " Rarity said. "I simply don't believe it!" Tears of joy ran down her face. "I'm not the one being humiliated for the sake of a joke for once!"

Hehe. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Sorry Fluttershy, but Big Mac is not for you...but for Rainbow Dash. :twilightblush:

To be continued......

Continuing where I left off:

"... Ya do all realize she's proposin' to an orange tree right?" Apple Bloom said.

"Now don't judge Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle said.

~Fin? 0-0
(Discord's notes: "HEHEH!")

DAMMIT DISCORD! :twilightangry2:

Wow....I can see that now. Big evil gets redeemed while little evil is forever evil....the show writers really need to have their priorities straight.

"I'm surprised you'd know the ins and outs of the laws of a city of a country, of a planet, of an alternate world."

"If I don't know all the rules, how am I supposed to break them?"

"... That... makes sense... which for you is disturbing."


Spike said, "So I'm confused, are you a good guy or bad guy?

Oh Spike, if only you knew the body count that ideology has produced in the human world.

Apple Bloom asked, "Just what were ya askin' the gods above to give ya strength fer anyway?" Apple Bloom asked.

"... When the giant floating fish with a lion's head showed up invitin' himself for dinner showed up right after... Ah kinda forgot."

"Ah forget too, did Ah tell ya me and Tender Taps are goin' on a play date?"

"NOW AH REMEMBER! Gods above give me strength!" Applejack stomped a hoof... and the entire barn shook.

"Ask and you shall receive," King Leo chuckled.

hehe. That was amusing.

"Life is stranger than fiction."

You have no idea.

Well, this was fun to read.


What the hell?! Dammit Starlight, when are you gonna stop f:yay:cking things up?!

She actually asked Starlight to fix it because they're friends. The polymorph curse was on the Diamond Dogs' part.

The cows, meanwhile, bankrupted the Storm King's corporate empire at the bargaining table.

Thank you for the comment. But I don't get the joke with the cows.

No real joke intended beyond the absurdity of cows negotiating absurdly favorable trade deals with yetis.

Alex, your sense of humor never ceases to amaze me. :ajsmug:

It was an obvious joke but it works very well here.

Inspired by a picture of Twilight Sparkle as a sheep.

Sweetie gasped. "Rarity, what a prejudice thing to say!"


"Well..." Books and e-readers orbited Twilight like a star's asteroid belt. "Past trials do seem to indicate that transferring your soul to an unliving, unfeeling phylactery has some adverse effects on your psyche, especially in the long term as mortal ambitions and bonds feel increasingly irrelevant. Of course, the so-called 'demilich' hypothesis is based on the assumption that all souls will eventually long for death, and we're eternally living proof that that isn't the case.

"There could be a correlation without causation here. Most liches throughout history were already antisocial loners who forsook interpersonal bonds for power, and who sought undeath just to hold on to that power for eternity. Sweetie's reasons are pretty much unprecedented."

Rarity had learned much over the decades—one couldn't help it when knowing Twilight for that long—but she felt no more enlightened than the first time Twilight discussed the finer points of arcane radicals during a dress fitting. "Could you summarize, darling?"

Twilight smiled, the research material flying back to its proper spots. "Put simply, keep being her friend and she won't have any reason to turn evil."

Rarity returned the grin and nodded. "That much I think we can all manage."

Not quite.


But this wonderful.

Mind if I add this in as a sequel?

Though Fimfiction.net forbids role playing. This doesn't count me thinks.

And again, it is an epic pleasure to have you honor one of my works with your presence.

Feel free to throw it in! And yeah, right now we're only at "comment fic" levels of recursion. It'd take a few more responses to hit full-on roleplay.

Alternate title: "Ember Discovers the Uncanny Valley."

Can't say I blame her. So close, and yet so very, very far...

Heh! Thank you for your comment sir!

Well, at least Canterlot doesn't have any single-failure-point climate control systems that could be shattered by an alicorn tantrum.


How does the city stay attached to the mountain again?

I like the fandom idea that the city actually covered a big bit of the mountain, not just the tiny bit we see.

Because it's several drabbles all at once. thus the 'kaboom' part.

How do you figure? It was G4 that had the characters backwards.

And this is why you don't give absolute power to... well, anyone, but especially not a child.

The joke was supposed to be how Spike's revisions worked out fine.

Oh, that's how most D&D worlds get insanely expansive cavern systems. It all makes sense now!

I imagine there's a fierce rivalry between kobolds and Diamond Dogs. That or the kobolds care only about the divine dig and the Dogs are happy to make use of the premade tunnels.

HEH! Thank you great one for your comment!

Well, I suppose that's one way to stimulate the economy...

Oh well, at least I finally get to try the Time-Reverse Building Rebuilding Ritual!"

You'd think Ponyville would provide ample opportunities for that one.

Low-hanging fruit. Starlight isn't a communist; she's a cult leader and Handicapper General. Harriscolt Bergeroan has more to fear from her than Czar Yakolas II.

You have your interpretation, and I have mine.

Heh, logically, yes. Then again, they have pretty much 'cleaned up' every possible villains, often in convoluted and forced ways.

Reminds me of this great story: The Kobold of Ponyville.

9814105 I think you guys are both right. The writers clearly wripped off Starlight's philosophy from Harrison Bergeron (Heck, the villainous Handicapper General in that story is named Diana Moon Glampers, which I remember every time someone calls Starlight Glimglam).

On the other hand, it sure seemed like Our Town had communal property and no market exchange, where goods were given freely and everyone labored for the glory of "the people" (in reality the most charismatic and intimidating person there). That seems a lot like the classic communist utopias that were founded in the US back in the day, that all kind of collapsed in on themselves over time.

So you can call Starlight Cutie Marx or Glimglampers, and both fit.

Do the Kobolds consider it their reason for living to serve dragons?

Ironically I'd stopped watching the show mostly by that point.

Who knew Evil Pie-Hating Rainbow Dash was capable of such things? Thank goodness her ire is usually reserved for desserts.

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