Drabble Kaboom!

by Alex Warlorn

Zephyr's getting married

When Rainbow Dash heard that Zephyr Breeze had reserved a church for a wedding, she was DONE playing nice!

Rainbow Dash in 10 seconds flat found Fluttershy's deadweight brother and shouted in his face, "I DON'T LOVE YOU! I AM NEVER GETTING MARRIED TO YOU! GET A LIFE!"

Zephyr Breeze shrugged and said, "Okay, fine with me Dash, I'm already getting married."

A light purple Earth pony mare waved. "Hi! I'm Pixie Cut! Nice to meet you! Zephyr has told me a lot about you Rainbow Dash! He was right, that main of yours really is begging for a professional stylist to apply their craft on."

"WHAT?! YOU! LIKE! HIM?!"

"Well, we were both nervous at a mane care expo, we ended up supporting each other, and we figured we might as well."

"And she helped me see that, well, sorry Dash, the Dash I was loving was only in my head. Sorry for stringing your heart along all this time."

"I've never loved you! I barely even like you!"

"Hey! Don't talk to him like that!" Pixie defended her fiancee.

"Guess it's a good thing I found somebody who does then," he said calmly looking at his engagement ring.

Someone DEFENDING Zephyr Breeze? Rainbow Dash broke down. "But.. but... but that's not fair! You're supposed to be this pathetic wreck who crawls under a rock and doesn't see the light of day again or goes off and start rock farming never to be seen again! You can't just say 'okay' and get happily married! Where's my release?! WHERE'S MY SATISFACTION OF YOU FINALLY GETTING IT?!"

"...You're not happy for us?" Zephyr asked innocently.

"AGH!" Rainbow Dash zoomed back to her cloud house, throwing a tantrum like a filly, thankfully her cloud furniture was built for it.

Twilight teleported in. "I heard. Along with half of Ponyville. Rainbow Dash... I had a teacher who taught that Queen Majesty used torture when interrogating a goblin spy... when I provided clinical proof she hadn't... my teacher just shrugged and changed that part of this lecture. He didn't scream in denial and shock, he didn't implode into a singularity of defeat... "

"... I'm just used to games where there's a winner or a loser..."

"And I was used to equations with a right side and a wrong side, diplomacy I learned doesn't work like that. By the way, Big Mac invited you to his herd wedding to Cheerilee, Marble, Princess Luna, and Sugar Belle, you coming?"

"Sure. At least I can finally take Soarin' on that date within seeing Zephyr everywhere."

"Dash I had both Applejack and Fluttershy talk to him, he had no idea you were even on those dates. The only Zephyr there was in your head."

"Guess I got too used to that idiot trying to charm me."

"Funny how I'd never even heard of him, seen him, spoken to him, when everyone in Ponyville was acting like his antics were all routine..."

-

"Hey! A bit!" Zephyr leaned down to pick it up, the invisible wolf set to devour his inconsistent existence flying straight over him and crashing into Fluttershy's ethreal flea circus.

Author's Note:

Requested from Yangiscool.

Mtangalion:

Blank Wolf: "Some god or goddess must favor him, but who?"

Fluttershy: "Well, he is my brother."

Comments

[howard035]

I loved Pixie Cut and that issue, solid slice of life comic. Good deep cut reference!

I'm surprised the wolf ended up biting the flea circus, instead of Fluttershy's Chamber of Extreme Knitting.

[Alex Warlorn]

10254446
Shhhhh, that's a secret chamber! :-)

[FanOfMostEverything]

"Funny how I'd never even heard of him, seen him, spoken to him, when everyone in Ponyville was acting like his antics were all routine..."

Oh, you're one to talk about not mentioning brothers.

Not sure I buy Dash being this intense about Zephyr finding someone else. I'd expect her to be relieved. Or suspecting mind control.