• Published 11th Feb 2019
  • 928 Views, 40 Comments

Lab Horse: Redux - TheMajorTechie



A filly lives on Earth with a jobless physicist. She's just figuring out life, while he's going broke. She has no idea what she's doing.

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Log 12: IT GETS DEEEEEEEPERRRRR!

After all the crazy stuff I found out about yesterday, I honestly think I feel just a little less awkward about the fact that these log entries have turned from a "Pony on Earth" story into a "Human in Equestria" story.

Like, seriously. It wasn't even the little things like who's got what jobs and stuff, either. I'm talkin' Rainbow Dash has been in a coma all her life kinda crap. Really! So does that mean that all the bad guys from all those seasons of My Little Pony just... never happened, or were they defeated some other way? I'll have to ask Twilight about that later. I'm still in my guest room right now 'cause I have no idea what time it is anymore. Come to think of it, is it even tomorrow? Or is today just a continuation of yesterday and this log has become an extension of the previous one? What's even the point of making another one if the previous one was just cut sho--

"Zoey!" Twilight knocked on the door. "Er... I can call you by that name, right?"

"Yeah."

I mean, a name's a name, right? A rose by any other name and all that jazz. Only thing that's really ever irked me was smurf horse.

Twilight opened the door, followed by Spike. Hold on a moment, I haven't seen him until now, have I? ...Lemme see, lemme see... log 9? No... 10? Nope... Not 11, either... huh. Guess he was just busy the entire time. Or something.

Also, Spike's holding a tray of what looks like breakfast, so I'ma guess that that means that it's now morning for whatever insane reason that this universe has to give.

Spike held up the tray, staring back at me without a word. I wonder if he's mute?

I took the tray, making sure to say thank you to Twilight and Spike. Though, based on the chatter about Power Ponies from behind the door after they left, I'm gonna say that he's probably just shy. Now, turning my focus to the food...

Eh, cereal. Didn't expect much anything special anyway.

Wow, I've spent quite a bit of time describing just my morning of thinking about stuff and then getting breakfast, haven't I? Probably should move on to something else at this point.

UHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... geez, am I writing this in the present or the future? Even I can't tell anymore! Did I already ask Twilight about the state of the world yet, or am I about to ask her and write things down as she speaks? I started off these logs writing in past-tense, didn't I? That means that all of this stuff already happened, right? Or... am I just writing as things happen, speaking in past-tense because it's just my natural tone in writing?

Holy crap I'm living in a paradox. What came first? The past-tense story, or the past-tense story? Idunno, haha!

"Zoey?" Twilight opened the door again in the past, the present and the future. "Zoey, are you... are you okay? You seem a little..." she made a face. "...tipsy."

"I have absolutely no idea!"

"Ookaaaay. I'm going to go fetch Delmar. Maybe he knows why you're acting this way."


"Get some sleep, Gadget."

"Aw, but whyyyyyy?"

"You stayed up all night long staring at a wall. You should probably get some rest."

"But it's the morning!"

"I'm saying it, and if I have to, I'll tell Twilight to say it too. Sleep, Gadget."

"Aww, fine."

"Good."

Guess what? I didn't. Guess what I did do?

If you're guessing jump out the window and run around town to explore the world, you are absolutely correct!

Like, for one, it looks like Twilight pulled off a bombtastic Summer Sun Celebration, so Nightmare Moon probably wasn't ever a problem. The explosions probably took care of her, if the statue's little description plate has anything to say about it.

Secondly, apparently we've got Pinkie Pie running an industrial-scale pastry manufacturing and distribution company that's just about on-par with a buncha the ones from Earth in terms of scale. Figures. Though, I might have overheard that the amount of sugar in a single package is enough to keep someone awake for hours longer. Maybe I just accidentally ate one of those or something while I wasn't writing a log. Or something.

Wow, wouldya lookit the speed of that pla--

"ZOEY. BED. NOW." Twilight screeched in my face with a Lovecraftian boom. Just kidding. She landed next to me and sternly pointed a hoof back to her treehouse library thing that did not, in fact, get explodinated by Tirek.

"Hey Twilight, what if I took you to my world?" I grinned. "It's a pretty big place, though. Like, a thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars and--"

"I'm just going to stop you right there, Zoey," Twilight sighed, shaking her head as she picked me up with her magic. "Before you cause a copyright issue."

Ok, I might've added that second part in for fun. Gosh, am I bored or am I bored? Ooh, now would actually be a great time to ask about Equestria's history some more! I know that Nightmare Moon probably went boom, so let's move on to big meanie bug queenie!

"Sooooooo... have you ever heard of Queen Chrysalis?"

"Eh, she was a minor annoyance. Queen Celestia banished her a while ba--"

"Wait hold up hold up hold up--" I frantically waved my hands around to make a point in my confusion. "Queen Celestia?"

Twilight raised a brow. "...Yes? I mean, with both her parents dead and gone and her not having married yet, she's the sole ruler of Equestria. Hence the title."

Oh, okay.

"Then who were her parents?"

"Queen Celestia and Prince Blueblood."

I nearly choked at the second name. "Wait, what?"

"Celestia's family has a rich tradition of passing the family name of Celestia through the mother's lineage rather than the father's. I know it might sound a little backwa--"

"No, I'm talkin' about Blueblood! Since when was that douche caboose making googly eyes at old Celestia?"

Twilight made a face. "Do you have an issue with the fallen king?"

Oh wait. I'm still thinking that this Equestria is like the show's Equestria. Probably should stop assuming that before I offend anyone (even more than I might already have).

"No, no, I just..." I shook my head. "Ugh, I should show you what I always thought of when I thought about Equestria. You familiar with DVDs?"

"Dee...Vee...Dees?"

I shrugged. "Video recording method from my world. What do you guys have?"

I blinked. It has come to my attention that I am still floating in the air by the power of Twilight's magic, and we've been talking like this for several minutes now. Seems like Twilight's coming around to notice as well.

She set me down. "Magical projections from enchanted crystals, nothing too advanced. It's a lot simpler than trying to use a spell to recreate an entire scene as an illusion, that's for sure. Now then, to bed with you. You're more scatterbrained than I am when I pull multiple all-nighters!"

Yeah ok so I think I'ma end this log here 'cause Twilicorn here is dragging me to bed whether I like it or not.

Author's Note:

I goofed off in this chapter.