• Published 11th Feb 2019
  • 928 Views, 40 Comments

Lab Horse: Redux - TheMajorTechie



A filly lives on Earth with a jobless physicist. She's just figuring out life, while he's going broke. She has no idea what she's doing.

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Log 1: I is smöl hoers

Author's Note:

The rambling, tiny, talking (and incredibly self-aware), smurf-horse makes a return!

'Kay... let's see how this works. Mr. Delmar caved on me bugging him for a tablet, so I guess I could start... actually, I have no idea what I'm saying here. I'ma just treat this thing sorta like a diary, I guess.

...Of course, obviously, I'll be using this device for much more than just being a glorified journal or diary or something.

And why I'm doing this in the first place? I have no idea either. Maybe someday, somebody will stumble across whatever heaping mass of logs I've got on this thing by that time, and decide to risk their sanity to read the daily life of a tiny talkin' pony living with a jobless scientist.

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...

Ahem. About that, by the way. So, Mr. Delmar really hasn't told me much about my past, or even how I got here. The most I can really manage to drag out of him is that there was something to do with flashy glowing holes in the sky, animal control, and a tranquilizer dart. Also, bribe money.

And... well, I have a pretty good feeling that he's lying to me, but given how I'm just a filly with an eerie resemblance to the characters of a kids' show, I don't think I'd be able to know if he isn't lying. I mean, things are cool and all between us and stuff, but he's just been in this weird, self-deprecating loop for a little while since he lost his job for screwing up an experiment while drunk on the job.

But y'know, things are fine. I think.

Um... oh, did I ever say anything about who I even am yet? Uh, lemme see... oh wait... no, alright... hey this thing has a pretty good mic to catch my mumbling... Yeah, I haven't even introduced myself yet. Alrighty then, let's get right to it then!

First of all, given how mind-numbingly frustrating it would be to type using hooves on an on-screen-keyboard, I'm just recording my logs with the built-in voice recorder app. I'll probably just run it through something and generate a transcript so I don't fill up as much space, but eh. Wait, I'm getting off-topic again, aren't I?

AHEM. Hi, I'm a freaky-deaky tiny talking horse-unicorn-thing named Gadget. I like wearing this little labcoat thingy that Delmar got for me a while back, but lately, I've been wondering a lot about where I came from, and how I even got here.

Did I mention the labcoat? Uh... yeah, I did. Anyways, Mr. Delmar said that he got it from a pet store during Halloween, but then realized the next morning that he didn't have a dog to put it on, so he just stuffed it in the closet until I came around. I have no idea what he sees me as either. On one hand... hoof? Whatever... on one hand, since I can talk and all, he seems to treat me kinda like a daughter. But on the other hand, since I'm a large dog-sized filly, it almost feels like he's completely clueless about what to do with me when we're in public.

And then there's the whole thing with me looking like I came from a kids' show. Like, seriously, take a look at me. Then look at... say, Twilight Sparkle. Sure, I'm a filly and she's a full-grown mare, and our manestyles and colors don't match in any way whatsoever, but from our comically large eyes and tiny muzzle to even the general shape of our horns, it'd be hard not to say that I came from that show somehow. It's just... well, weird to think about, so I try not to think about it too much.

Anyways, I think that should be enough yapping for an introduction to my life. I should probably get on with what I actually did today.

...

Um... let's see... what did I do today? Oh, I went to this cool arcade earlier, and got a big puffy teddy bear from a claw machine! Though, I got a lot of weird looks, being myself and all, and a few kids thought I was a prize that someone left behind. So yeah, obviously being a tiny horse with an uncanny resemblance to Smurfette has its drawbacks.

Now that I think of it though, Mr. Delmar's probably stretching his savings thin trying to let me do what I want, so I could probably hold back on things like this in the future.

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...

Y'know, I just can't stop myself from constantly bringing up how I'm apparently from a kids' show. Heck, I don't even know how old I am. For all I know, I might've gotten, like, banished here or something. I've seen the backstory for Luna in the show, and I'm pretty sure that it could happen to anyone who ticks off Celestia just a bit too much.

Anyways, back to yapping about my day today. After we came home, I practiced some of my "magic", as the show calls it, by helping Mr. Delmar with some chores. It's really just a bit of basic levitation and stuff, but it still freaks him out sometimes. I mean, have you seen how neurotic he gets when he tries to figure out how my magic works? I'd say that he gives Twilight Sparkle a run for her money on his crazy-face!

After that, I just kinda retreated to my room to screw around with things until now, where I'm finally doing something with the tablet Delmar got me a day or two back. Moving on with future entries, I'll probably just figure out a way to magically input my thoughts and stuff into this thing, and leave the voice recording to... well, voice record.

Idunno.

Y'know, sometimes I feel like there was another me out there at some point. Someone who might've already found out who she was or something, or maybe even went on an adventure or two. Me? I'm personally just in a blanket burrito on my bed, talking mindlessly to a screen that's probably destined to kill my eyes with light while I'm watching a movie or something.

Actually, I think I'm gonna do just that. Not the killing my eyes part. Just the watching a movie part.