• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 22nd, 2014

Strumfreak


T

Fillies and Colts have been going missing in Ponyville, the only clue to their location, tracks leading to the Everfree Forest, and anypony who goes in looking for them, doesn't return. Scootaloo was the first victim to show up from the forest out of the blue, distraught and alone. When Twilight offers her assistance in finding the others, and the Slendermane starts hunting the pair, what will happen when they end up with only one option: Run for their lives trapped in the darkest, deepest, part of the Everfree forest.
(Based on the urban legend of the Slenderman, with subtle references to the popular indie game 'Slender')
Rated T for horror themes, violence, and peril.
***

Updates:
[Proporly spaced and indented paragraphs in all chapters (No more giant walls of text)]
[Fluttershy added as a main character]
[Gore Tab added due to a descriptive blood and gore scene in Chapter 4] (If people have any problems with the teen rating and think I should bump up the level to mature, please comment so)

Completed 19/08/2012

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 80 )

So many Slenderpony stories coming up lately...
And for that I say, MOAR. GIMME MOAR :pinkiecrazy:

Oh teh noes!!! I hope this ends fairly well :applecry:

Doooooood. whai der be zo many slendar ponie storez commin up?


Ye my grammer izh de besht

Okay on a serious note,

Double space your paragraphs if you are not going to indent them, and even if you indent them. It makes it easier to tell where the paragraphs end, and makes the story look a lot less like a large wall of text.

Seems good so far, Ill watch this to see where it goes.

BUT DONT YOU DARE UPDATE AT 1 IN THE MORNING.

i never liked horror stories.... wouldnt it make sense for twi leave her with as many of her responsible friends as possible? wouldnt it make sense for twi NOT to go into the forest with just one filly after all those dissapearances? i know this is a horror story, but this is why i dont like them..... destroying logic for climatic-ness :P

What's up with all the Slendermane stories lately? This is like the third one I've seen today.

why does nobody do Slender MaRe?

Sweet frakking walls of text! Space out your paragraphs a little more, this story is hard to read as-is.

Wow... Come back 2 days after submitting and find around 16 notifications... in less than a day this is gotten more views than my first story did since it went up :twilightblush:
1037586
1038644
I'm sorry about the big Walls of massive text. I wanted to emphasive the different happenings in Twilights Flash backs to seperate them, but i guess the asterixes do that well enough, I'll make sure to get some paragraphs spaced out proporly in future
1037732
You don't like horror... But yet here you are on a horror story :rainbowhuh: I'm sorry if my story seems overly predictable, but that's the thing I've grown up to understand about in horror :twilightsmile: Twilight may have gone with Fluttershy and the others had Fluttershy not been abducted :fluttershbad:, and while she still doesn't believe in the Slendermane, like many other predictable horror story's, she feels the need to help her friend then and there instead of leaving her for who knows how long to find the others for help. I've thought this all out don't worry :rainbowdetermined2:.
1037078
1038032
Yes indeed, more and more Slendermare stories coming out. I personally haven't read any of them, and do not intend to untill this is finished, but they've only started sprouting since the release of the indie game slender around a month ago... at least that's when i saw them appearing. I took strong interest in the myth so i went and learned the background, and now I'm making my interpretation of a possible story. (If you've played the game you will understand the references i make to it as well :rainbowwild:
I hope everyone's enjoying it so far, now I've got to go through the list of favourites that popped up and thank everyone, and i promise I'll try and upload regularly, (Not early in the morning I swear :twilightblush:

Actually can people who favourite a story get notifications when i comment? If not I'll gladly go through each 15 profiles and thank them individually, but can anyone please tell me if that happens :pinkiesmile:

1038183
I also forgot to answer this proporly, I didn't want to name the creature Slender Mare because i didn't want to define it with a specific sex, and prefeered that it just remained an unknown, mysterious being.

Sweet Celestia the favourites just keep coming :twilightsheepish: This makes me happy :pinkiesad2: Massive thanks to everyone whos favourited so far :pinkiehappy:

I'm seeing so many Slenderman crossovers lately

1039682

Aye my friend, not surprisin' if ye ask me, ye have set up an interestin' story here, and is a shame to see it go un-featured

1039016 Meh... human nature dictates that if you dont know something, you usually fear it. Seeing how Twi isnt like RD who is "brave". I just like stories to make sense, not where everything is perfectly justifiable and normal, just where the characters try to be as intelligent as possible and emotions get in the way, and they show it, stupid, happy, etc. or they are just plain stupid, which after 2 seasons of ponies, neither scoots nor twi is. well, what scoots does is justifiable, ill give you that. its just that somepony as smart as twi would likely try to get fluttershy away from the cottage in the beggining (especially if her black stereotype is true and she is the only smart one in a horror story) and twi would also remember about those missing search parties, and prolly ask celestia, who doesnt do much in the first place, for help. when you think about it, she would prolly ask celestia or luna for help, and seeing as her brother is the guard captain, she would most certainly get her way...

1041849
Yes unfortunately I'm pretty sure the chances of a story getting featured depend on the ratio of likes to views. If more people liked and favourited the maybe it may gain popularity, but I'm fine with just favourites to be honest :pinkiehappy:

I'm sorry for the late update everyone, I almost lost this document at 5000 words, when i though it was corrupt :fluttershysad:, so in order to ensure that i wouldn't lose it, I had to upload it to be safe. I Pinkie promise though, no more late updates :pinkiesmile: I hope you all enjoy chapter 2.

I look forward to any future chapters:twilightsmile: There are a lot of typos, however.


Double spacing is your friend.


Double space the paragraphs! Or indent them! Preferably both!

1046005
If you're able to point a few out that would be very helpful, I was in a rush to get this one up in case i almost lost the work again

1046686
I did that :rainbowhuh: A lot of things reset themselves. I lost a tonne of quotation marks that had to be filled in :applejackunsure: I'll go through and do that now :twilightsmile:

1047307 Well, besides the typos, you could also put commas in places where they're due. The lack of them made the story somewhat difficult to read.

1046686 Ok I hit the indent button up top, did it work right or would it be better with just the top lines indented? and I added the extra space between paragraphs :derpytongue2: If I've done this right I'll go back and fix up chapter 1

1047340

Um. It does look better, but it looks like you only double spaced the paragraphs in some places. What you have is correct, but somewhat confusing,

Most authors usually go one way or another, Double spaced or single spaced, you seem to do both.

Dont get me wrong here, it does look a lot better now.

1047357 I did? :rainbowhuh: Ok I'm probobly going to sound stupid, but this is only my second story so I'm only just starting to learn all this stuff, but could you copy and paste an example, I'm not sure I completely understand here.

1047380

Um... actually it is kind of hard to find something to use as an example. But I will try.


Look at this paragraph, it is not connected to any other: Twilight watched confused as Scootaloo’s expression changed in almost an instant, but Scootaloo didn’t have time to say anything to Twilight though, not even a second after she realised that they were being watched, a loud gust of wind blasted through the trees towards Twilight and Scootaloo, carrying a huge cloud of ghostly white fog. Scootaloo hadn’t seen this happen when she saw the Slendermane, but she was equally terrified that something bad was about to happen, and became paralysed on the spot as if glued to the ground, not even able to speak. She tried to open her mouth but her bottom lip would only tremble and let out mumbled squeals. Twilight turned around when she heard the massive amount of rustling leaves, but didn’t know whether the fog barrelling towards them was threatening or not. Not wanting to take the risk that it possessed some kind of magical quality that could knock the pair out or injure them, she attempted to conjure a V-shaped force field in front of her, to divide the fog around them. But upon attempting the spell, Twilight found that she was still unable to perform any acts of magic and that her horn would only sputter with weak sparks. She only watched the cloud approach faster and faster.



And then there are these paragraphs, which are connected:


“Scootaloo, I can’t stop it! Hold on!” She yelled turning around ready to shield the filly in case the fog indeed posed danger, but upon turning around, she found she was alone. Scootaloo had vanished. Twilight felt her heart race soar as she became stressed. Her eyes darted all over the trees behind her, but there was no sign of the little orange filly.
“Scootaloo?!” She yelled out hoping for response. “Scoota-Ugh!” Twilight was stopped midway through another distressed yell, as the fog hurdled right into her back, with the force of a door slamming against her. But that wasn’t the pain that bothered her; a far worse feeling was raging in her head. Twilight’s horn was shooting sparks all over the place like mad, and all she could hear was incredibly loud static filling her head, surrounded the high pitched squealing of the wind in her ears. She had both hooves on her ears trying to block them, but even while the wind was unable to invade her ears, the squeal continued, and started to increase in frequency.
Very abruptly though, almost out of nowhere, the wind ceased, and the fog it had carried settled in its place, only moving as it wisped along the small currents of breeze that flowed through the forest. It only made the forest look more eerie, and scared Twilight even more than before. She could only keep counting her fears though, Scootaloo was still missing.



Best I could give


P.S. for some reason it is not indented in the comment

1047435 Ah i think I understand, I think i should have used some different choices of language there, is it mainly lines like this that make the change?
She tried to open her mouth but her bottom lip would only tremble and let out mumbled squeals. Twilight turned around when she heard the massive amount of rustling leaves.
Because if it is i can fix it no problem.

1047455

Erm, no. I think I may have spoken wrong if that is what you believe :rainbowhuh:



I am talking about the paragraph as a whole, as the second example shows. They are separate paragraphs separated by just an indentation.

On the first example it is completely cut off from other paragraphs with one blank line separating them.

1047505 Oh :facehoof: I see. Right. Well I may have time to fix that up, if not, I should be able to this afternoon. Thanks for clearing that up:derpytongue2:

Righto I've gone on and fixed a few things plus a large error i found, if there is still more that can be fixed, and you do want to help me out, letting me know is greatly appreciated. Hope your all enjoying the story, expect the next update thursday afternoon :yay:

There will be a delay for update... Study time has taken a toll on my writing :ajbemused:. I'm working my hardest though so I'll try and have something for you guys by tomorrow afternoon.

A whole night dedicated to writing :twistnerd::pinkiesad2: This I will enjoy:yay:

1038183

because the Slenderbeings are genderless.

here's an entity I want to see in a crossover fic.

[img]1Tails+Doll.jpg[/img]

(image won't work)

1081017

will this image work?

google.com/imgres?q=Tails+doll+game+over&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1148&bih=655&tbm=isch&tbnid=TrMsyhSo8MaHFM:&imgrefurl=http://charas-project.net/resources.php%3Fwa%3D0%26lang%3Den%26area%3D8%26howmany%3Dall%26fsearch%3D&docid=V2BsVEuWH0xu7M&imgurl=http://charas-project.net/resources/Game_Overs/30204_1177784042_small.png&w=288&h=216&ei=YnopUJmXCcW40AGWpoGwDA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=254&sig=114906402075683584246&page=1&tbnh=147&tbnw=220&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:72&tx=126&ty=58

(nope.avi)

okay, then. just go to these websites and you will see.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=tails+doll+scary&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1148&bih=655&tbm=isch&tbnid=fiBjGXwHcJsQpM:&imgrefurl=http://sonicinc.webs.com/apps/photos/photo%3Fphotoid%3D99723243&docid=BWduqZEUd4OMWM&imgurl=http://memberfiles.freewebs.com/03/68/61726803/photos/sonic-pictures/creepy%252520tails%252520doll.jpg&w=620&h=797&ei=EHspUJPkI4q10QGMg4CwDA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=682&vpy=162&dur=475&hovh=132&hovw=103&tx=89&ty=114&sig=114906402075683584246&page=1&tbnh=132&tbnw=103&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0,i:137


http://www.google.com/imgres?q=tails+doll+game+over&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1148&bih=655&tbm=isch&tbnid=TrMsyhSo8MaHFM:&imgrefurl=http://charas-project.net/resources.php%3Fwa%3D0%26lang%3Den%26area%3D8%26howmany%3Dall%26fsearch%3D&docid=V2BsVEuWH0xu7M&imgurl=http://charas-project.net/resources/Game_Overs/30204_1177784042_small.png&w=288&h=216&ei=5XspULjnJOby0gHH6IGgDA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=142&vpy=226&dur=406&hovh=157&hovw=210&tx=69&ty=57&sig=114906402075683584246&page=1&tbnh=134&tbnw=178&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:75

1081034 Oh my god :rainbowhuh:. What is that? :derpytongue2:

Update time! overdue but its here :pinkiesmile: I made sure to double space and indent my paragraphs proporly this time :twistnerd: If anyone finds an error please let me know, its much appreciated :twilightsmile: I hope everyone enjoys the newest chapter :yay:

Also, should I make Fluttershy a feature character in the story tabs? :yay: She plays a large part in this and the next chapter.

1038032

Is there something wrong with these stories?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?

???

run, run as fast you can....you can't escape the slendermane

1099352 Would have used that if it rhymed, the poem in chapter 2 i had to think of from scratch dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_smile.png thanks for the favourite btw. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire.png

???

1099525 not a problem my friend....make them scream

Chapter 4 I'll be adding the gore tab, But if you all think it should be bumped up to mature level, please let me know, because one part of the story will have a very descriptive bloody section dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png :pinkiesick: Expect the chapter around Sunday morning sometime.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

Good ending, kinda pissed that Twilight died and Scootaloo is disabled for the rest of her life.:twilightangry2:

But an otherwise good story.

1111679 I never said either of those things happened dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png The way i see it, I left room open for a possible sequal... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png

1111679 And Scootaloo was only very sick from having odd chemicals get into her bloodstream dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png

Hope everyone enjoyed the story, I kinda wish it had gotten a little more popularity, but as long as those who did read it enjoyed it, I'm happy dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png Next story i write is going to be a massive challenge for me... it's a field of writing i never considered before... Romance dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png :heart:

PL1

...CAN I GETTA SEQUEL?!?

???

sounds like you used a little of my word at the end, run run as fast as you can...you can't escape the slendermane

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