• Member Since 8th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen Saturday

Popcorn Pony


Where you come from can say a lot more about you than where you are...

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Coco Pommel knows some ponies have nowhere to stay during the holiday, that is why she is running a homeless shelter and soup kitchen, but she doesn't have enough volunteers to feed everypony or enough money to pay the rent. Meanwhile, other ponies like Popcorn and Mirror are busy running errands. They don't know each other but end up crossing paths then decide to enjoy the holiday by helping others. What follows after their decision surprises them.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

That popcorn sounds tasty.

I don’t like how her name is just Popcorn, though. I think it would sound better if there was another word in it.

9466622
Hi, thank you for reading me and Rhino's story. :twilightsmile:

If I may, I want to try to interest you in Pocornia's/Popcorn's novel titled: Popcorn. In it, you would learn that Pocornia's/Popcorn's last name is Popper.

I plan to upload more short stories very soon and I hope they would be entertaining and enjoyable reads for you. Also, Bulbasaur was one of my favorite pokemon, Bulbasaur, Piplup, and Lucario.

I still haven’t finished this story, but your description is lacking. For example:

Mirror turned her head to see the pony who had just landed on her like a ton of bricks, and a few things caught her attention. Right off, her mane was certainly unique and her coat contrasted sharply with it. She thought the stranger appeared unconventional. “So mind telling me why someone threw you like a hail mary pass?” She asked in as kind a tone she could.

In what way? Also, what’s a hail mary pass?

(I found this because it was on the popular list for some reason.)

9467624
This story would benefit from a bit of editing, as far as the "hail mary pass." Rhino put that in there, I assumed it was a football term or something.

Thank you for pointing out that detail. If you notice anything else and want to make mention of it, could you PM me?

Oh, so Pocornia used to be a popcorn sales mare before becoming an interior designer. It sounds kind of obvious, but I can't remember if it was shown before in "Popcorn".

I love the happy ending. This is not a mind-blowing mystery or a convoluted complicated adventure, just a pleasant and simple story that leaves a warmhearted feeling after reading.

Coco showed up at the very end for a brief cameo. This is totally canon. :rainbowlaugh:

Even though this is a short story, there is one thing I would like to talk about: the pacing.

The story is fast. The characters barely have any time to introduce themselves because of this (especially new characters like Mirror Shine, whom I have never read about before, unlike Pocornia) Other readers may feel lost because Pocornia (the main character) wasn't properly introduced in this story like she was in "Popcorn" through the first two or three chapters. Since I have already read "Popcorn" I can appreciate this story for what it is, but I'm sure that new readers can't say the same.

Overall, great side story. I like it.

Thank you for a nice read. :twilightsmile:

10969211
This feedback is very insightful. Details in the story were kinda rushed and I really liked your observation on character introduction.

Two things you said that made me happy were Coco Pommel showing up last minute and that the story made you feel good. :)

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