A Crafter's Dream Ch. 77: Red Tape
Now, without further ado, I present,
“A Crafter’s Dream”
Steve grabbed one of the rungs of the iron gate, the hinges squealing slightly as he pushed it open. Closing it behind him, the Crafter walked up the dirt path towards the cobblestone shell that was his house. Or rather, what was the beginning of it. It looked exactly like how he’d left it, a simple cobblestone frame on which he would build the rest of his home. His crafting table sat nearby, next to a furnace which had long since gone cold. On a makeshift table sat his book of building plans.
Plopping down all of the supplies in his Inventory next to the crafting table, Steve sat down on the ground nearby, laying his back against the furnace. Putting his arms up, he stretched his back, groaning slightly when it gave an audible pop.
Sighing, he shifted himself to rest more comfortably against the cobblestone furnace. He looked out at the street in front of him. It was surprisingly empty for mid-day.
Steve closed his eyes and rested his head against the top of the furnace, letting his mind wander to the events just previous to his arriving home. When he’d first stepped through the portal heading back home from the Hollow.
* * * * *
Steve awoke with a gasp, eyes shooting open only to close a second later as a bright light filled his vision.
Groaning, he rubbed his face with a hand as he squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the light.
“Steve!” He heard a voice call. Looking around, the Crafter quickly saw Onyx rushing towards him. Upon reaching him, the Nightmare reached out to touch him, but immediately retracted his hand when he saw the Crafter’s injuries. “Oh shit. Steve, are you okay?”
“No, not particularly.” Steve responded with a groan. “Urgh.”
“Steve, are you alright?” He heard Celestia ask, tone displaying her concern. Lifting his head to look, he saw the alicorn standing not far away, with Luna and Aura by her side. Abyss was sitting on a nearby fallen log, Notch standing next to her, hands glowing as several of the dragoness’ wounds glowed as well. As Steve watched, the injuries began to close up, leaving nothing but a memory of their existence.
The Crafter groaned as he let his head fall back to the floor. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He responded. “Just tired, hurt and in pain.” After a moment, he sat back up, grunting in pain as he did so. “How are you guys all doing?”
“I’m exhausted.” Onyx replied, still panting slightly. “But overall, I think I’m okay.”
“Same here.” Aura spoke up.
“Luna and I have burned through much of our magic reserves, and we both received our fair share of injuries.” Celestia responded. “Give us a few days, and we’ll be alright.”
“I’m fine.” Abyss said with a shrug. “I’ve been through worse.”
Notch gave her a deadpan look. “You were heavily injured, Abyss. The only reason you’re okay is because I’ve been healing you for the last few minutes.”
“Okay, fair.” Abyss conceded. “But seriously, you healed Steve just by waving your hand. Why is it taking so long for me?”
“Because I created Steve’s race, Abyss. I know his body in and out. How it functions, how it works. You, on the other hand, are an entirely different story.” The god furrowed his eyebrows. “Now please, stop squirming. Your movements are only making this take longer.” Sighing, the god shook his head before glancing at the Crafter. “I apologize that this is taking so long, Steve. Give me a moment, and I will be right with you.”
“Nah, it’s fine. You take care of her. She needs it more than I do.” As he spoke, Steve withdrew a piece of bread from his Inventory and chomped it down. However, there was no effect. It was only after eating two more loaves that the Crafter felt the familiar warmth of his enhanced regeneration take effect. Looking himself over, he saw his wounds beginning to mend.
Regeneration Effect gained. +1 health every 10 seconds
He gave a sigh of relief. “That’s better.”
“Wait a second.” Aura spoke up. “What in Tartarus?”
The Crafter looked over to see the thestral giving him a confused look.
“What?” He asked. “What is it?”
“...You ate some bread, and now you’re like, healing? Since when has that been a thing?”
“Uh, since I was created? One of my inherent powers is enhanced regeneration. Basically, if I’m not hungry to a certain extent, my body will rapidly heal. The only problem is if my hunger drains past the threshold, I stop healing. But at that point, I just keep eating and, problem solved.”
“Well, then why do you carry around those healing potions or whatever they are?”
“Because while my enhanced regeneration is great, it still takes time to fix me up. So, if I can help it, I try to keep a few healing potions on me, since they heal me pretty much instantly.”
“Huh. That’s, pretty cool, actually.” Aura spoke.
“I know right? Really useful since all I need for it to work is a full belly.”
“And, done!” Notch spoke, drawing everyone’s attention to the god and the newly-healed Abyss. The dragoness looked herself over for a moment before nodding in satisfaction.
“And once again, Notch, you do not disappoint.”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” He responded, waving his hand. “It’s the least I could do, all things considered.”
Steve watched the interaction for a few seconds before he had a small moment of realization.
“Wait, hold on.” He said as he got to his feet, albeit wincing slightly. “Like, Notch, I know it’s really, really cool that you’re here, because trust me, it is. But I still need to know. How in the fuck are you even here?” Steve took a look around. “In fact, how did any of you guys even get to the Nightmare realm or Hollow or whatever it’s called in the first place? None of you except for maybe Abyss would have any idea of what was happening. How did you guys find out?”
Celestia chuckled. “Well, that’s a bit of a long story, Steve.”
The Crafter crossed his arms, shrugging. “Well, I’ve got time.” His gaze made its way to Luna. “Speaking of which, what the Nether are you even doing here? I thought you hated my guts, or something.”
The lunar princess flinched slightly. “We do not… hate your guts, Steve.”
“Really? Well, that’s good to know. With all of your hostility and refusal to really speak to me, I was starting to get the wrong idea.”
Aura frowned. “Look, I get that you’re still angry with her, but it’s not entirely her fault for what hap-.”
“Yes it is.” Luna spoke up, sighing. She looked down at the thestral. “We thank thee for trying to defend us, Aura, but we have no pony to blame but ourselves.” The alicorn met Steve’s gaze. “We are sorry, Steve, for the pain and suffering we caused you. There is truly no excuse for it. If there is any way we could make it up to you, please, tell us.”
Steve looked at her for a moment, brows furrowed. Finally, he let out a small sigh as his hard expression fell. “There is one thing.”
Luna perked up slightly.
“I want to know why you did it.”
The alicorn flinched back as if she’d been struck. “What?”
He took a step forward. “I want to know why you did what you did. I mean, I think I at least have the right to know, all things considered.”
“No, you do. We, I…” She sighed. “It’s not… We were not in the best of mindsets.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “And that matters how?”
“Because if you heard why we did it, you would think us, er, me evil, or insane.”
“You’re a winged unicorn ex-Nightmare who spent the better part of a few months trying to kill me. You really can’t make yourself look worse in my eyes. And as for the insane part, well, we’ll just have to see, hmm?”
Luna opened her mouth, as if to argue, but after a moment of hesitation, let out a sigh as she shook her head. “We admit, you make much sense. Very well. I will tell you.” Meeting the Crafter’s gaze, she took in a breath before speaking.
Creeeeak
Steve was snapped from his thoughts as he heard his gate opening. Looking up, he spotted a pony he didn’t recognize coming up the path.
It was a mare, with a foliage green coat of fur with a dark blonde mane. She wore what looked like a suit, with a briefcase strapped to her side. She stopped for a moment when she caught sight of Steve, but after taking in a breath, she hesitantly approached.
“Hello.” She spoke.
“Yo.” He swiftly responded.
“Would you happen to be the owner of this establishment?”
He nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“Well, it has come to the attention of the PHA that-”
“The what?”
“The PHA. The Ponyville Home Association.” The mare answered before continuing. “Anyways, it has come to our attention that-”
“Association of what? What exactly is it that you guys do?”
The mare, though a bit put off for the second interruption, answered. “Well, we try our best to ensure that every home in Ponyville is up to standard, and that every pony family is living in peace and safety. As I was saying, it has-”
“Well, you guys must’ve had a lot of work on your hands when I first showed up, considering how much chaos I accidentally caused.” Steve said with a chuckle. “Anyways, you were saying?”
“...Well, it has come to our attention that you were gifted this home and that you are the new owner. I came by yesterday to talk to you, but found that your house was, well, gone, essentially.”
“Yeah, I blew it to kingdom come a few days ago. The house wasn’t really working for me, so I figured I’d just have to build it from scratch.”
“Oh. And who do you intend to have build your new home?”
“Myself. Why?”
The mare gave him a confused look. “...You intend to build the home yourself?”
He nodded. “Yep.”
“...I see. And I trust you already have the required permit to do so?”
Now it was the Crafter’s turn to look confused. He furrowed his eyebrows at the mare. “Permit? For what?”
“For building your home, of course. Before any building can take place, those in charge of its construction must have the proper permit related to what it is they are building. Considering you are simply building a house, you would need a Class H building permit. Could I please see it?”
Steve stared at the mare for a few moments before he responded. “Yeah, I don’t know shit for all about any permits or anything, so I kinda don’t have one.”
“You don’t have one?”
“That’s literally what I just said.”
“Well then, I’m sorry, but you can’t build here.”
“Really.” Steve spoke, deadpanning at the mare. “And why is that?”
“Because you don’t have the required permit.” She responded.
“And why do I need a permit to build?”
“Because it’s the law!” The mare spoke, exasperated.
“Well your law is bad, and you should feel bad.” Sighing, Steve rubbed his face with one hand. “Alright, where can I get one of these stupid permits?”
“They are not stupid.” The mare huffed.
“Yes they are. Now where can I get one?”
The mare sighed. “You can acquire one from the Town Hall for 250 bits.”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait a second, 250 bits? I have to pay for a permit?”
“Yes. Why?”
The Crafter leaned in close to the mare, nose only inches from her own. “Let me get this straight. In order to use the materials I myself obtained at my own expense, to build my own home, on the plot of land I legally now own, I have to pay 250 bits for a building permit?”
The mare suddenly looked very nervous. “Um, yes?”
For a few moments, Steve stared into the mare’s dark gray eyes. Then, he let out a sigh. “Alright. Who do I need to talk to at the Town Hall?”
She let out a sigh of relief. “W-well, talk to Time Turner, Mayor Mare’s assistant. He should be able to help you from there.”
“Got it. Thank you, Miss…?”
“Oh. I’m Fine. Fine Print.”
“Well thank you for your assistance, Miss Print. I will go get this sorted out.” With that, the Crafter stepped around the mare and started off down the path towards the front gate. Closing it behind him, he walked down the street, in the direction of the town hall.
‘I take it you don’t have any intention of actually buying one of these permits?’ Onyx spoke up.
Steve grinned. ‘You know me too well, Onyx. No, I’m not going to get one, not if I can help it.’
‘Then what will you do?’
The Crafter shrugged. ‘I’m not really sure. I’ll think of something.’ He looked up to see he was approaching the street corner. ‘Okay, I think I have to turn here.’
‘You do.’ The Nightmare confirmed. ‘Anyways, let me ask you something Steve. Why do you care about the permit? Wouldn’t it just be easier to get the permit and be done with it?’
‘Well yeah, it would be. But you see, there was this place back home. Called Sungale. They restricted a lot of things, like building, brewing, even crafting. The people there lived in constant fear of their leader, this red-haired asshole who called himself ‘The Great Ruler’ or some shit. Back then, I was still working as a soldier in the Ironwood Army’s Elite division. My team was picked to infiltrate the city and take out their ruler.’ Steve sighed and looked down at the ground. ‘But something went wrong.’
‘What w- Steve look out!’
The Crafter didn’t have time to react before his legs ran into something, sending him stumbling. There was a cry of shock, not his own, as he and whatever he had ran into hit the ground.
Steve let out a grunt as his back impacted the floor. Groaning slightly, he sat up to see what he had hit.
He was immediately met by the sight of a familiar orange earth pony.
Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Applejack?”
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No worries, filler's good. Constant fighting wears on a body.
Fillers are good its helps to further the story in its own way
Did Steve just trip over Applejack?
I don't hate Minecraft, but I am not interested in it at all. Will I need to be a fan of Minecraft to enjoy this story?
a grate chapter i love it.
did Steve just fall over AJ,
Zoidberg would be proud
Well, that was something. Wonder what's next. Darn cliffhangers.....
10099873
Nnnnnope. It would be good to know Minecraft to understand some of what the character can do, but it isn't necessarily a requirement.
10099873
Not necessarily, but I feel it will help a lot in understanding all of Steve's inherent capabilities and powers. However, it's entirely up to you whether you read this story or not.
.....was that a reference to Fallout 3s Republic of Dave?
I smell a Con with this Fine Print, if I remember right he was gifted the land and the home by Royal Remit to do with as he pleases as compensation. Meaning he wouldn’t need any permits as they would already be covered, assuming they exist to begin with.
10099893
Giggity
10100945
Trying to con someone the Princesses owe a favor to? Never mind that he kills gods for a living, on account of her not knowing about that? No, this is just garden variety bureaucratic incompetence. And a bit of homeowner's associations being completely idiotic.
Big ooof filled is good for filling
10101070
10100945
As much as I hate to say it, Fine Print is actually correct. In order to build any building larger than around 15 x 10 feet big, you need a building permit, regardless of who owes what or what was previously built on the property. Or at least that's how it is where I live, I don't know about you all.
10101695
I still have that feeling of something wrong and I have learned to listen to it.
In California (where I live) they don’t care how big the building is so long as it’s built to the bare minimum safety standards and stays within the property you own.
Edit: besides, like I stated before I figured that considering that the land and house was gifted to him by Royal Decree then all permits and what not would have been covered.
I would have honestly told Fine Print to go take it up with Celestia and Luna.
I forget how they left off.
10101704
Yeah, I agree, and honestly, when writing, I was at first going to have Steve pull the royal card, but then I took a step back and looked as Steve as a character. I remembered that after everything he's been through, if he's facing a problem, he's going to at least try and solve it himself before going to get help. He wouldn't immediately try to use Celestia and Luke's name to get what he wants. He doesn't do that, even if he absolutely can.
10101910
True, I wouldn’t have either (no matter what I say) but at the same time, what can the HOA do to him? He has the protection of Celestia, Luna AND the local Hero’s. It would be Political and Social suicide to try anything.
Whelp he chose his path and I don’t envy him the Red Tape, inspections, wait time and the Bias/hate that he is gonna face by the hardliners!
10101695
10101915
Steve has personally taken out dozens of guards in a single skirmish when they had the home-field advantage. The law only applies to him when he allows it to, and he's against this one on principle.
10102644
Fighting Guards and Fighting Political Red Tape are two COMPLETELY different Monsters
10102844
Thing is, if you ignore the political red tape and just do it anyway, the only consequence is that the police/guard goes after you. For something as minor as this, they're not going to try it with someone who's shown the ability to hand the lot of them their rears. Doubly so considering he did it in an area that they prepared and this is an area that he prepared.
or
Okay seriously... which is it
10102884
And while it's the law and everything... this place was given by Princess Celestia, I'm pretty sure she find some way to get Steve around all the red tape-BS
10103888
More or less. When he said "how can I be a king of there's no one left to rule?" It reminded me of a Minecraft animation/series on YouTube called either "The Fallen King" or "The Fallen Kingdom". Beyond that...you'd need to see it yourself to understand.
10104541
.......FuCk I THOUGH I FIXED THAT!!!!!!
Bty, it's supposed to be PHA, I'm apparently just illiterate.
10105427
Don't worry, I had a similar situation where I accidentally mixed the names of two characters that sound the same, and put them in the wrong stories
Will stuff from the new update appear in this fic? just curious.
10107067
Uhhhh, little bit of yes, little bit of no.
Nooooo! I stopped reading this fic back and August and now I've caught back up... DAMNIT! Now I have to wait again..
I hate my luck.
As someone who's worked in construction
Regulations can be just so bullshit
10179964
Agreed. I based Steve's experience mostly on my own, and from what my dad (who works in construction) has told me.
Ah yes. Bureaucracy. An evil far worse than anything the most terrible of overlords could ever possibly achieve on his own. Truly the greatest antagonist that any story could have.
10179964
Wanna know what’s even more bullshit than regulations? The absence of regulations for things that should be common sense. My parents have spent $20,000 and nearly two months of inconvenience and headaches, all because whoever built their house thought it was a good idea to put the water main right on top of the electrical main. AND THERE’S NO RULE AGAINST DOING THAT. Yeah. Water. On top of electricity. Gravity. A-DUH.
Running, didn't make sense not to
10102884
It’s probably better that he takes care of it, not for his sake, but for Celestia’s. Think about it. If people learned she was supporting a creature who just ignored a law and resisted arrest then that would be a pretty bad look.
10395290
You be surprised how many things should be common sense but yet somehow they aren't because if they were people wouldn't do them.
wait, wasn't it established that Notch must remain in Minecraft or the Minecraft world will die? But now he's in Equestria... just get him to stay and deal with the mob threat