Twilight Sparkle on a walk one day discovers a changeling trying to feed off her. She takes it in to study, but soon finds that this changeling has a heart, and a good one at that.
Current picture just a space holder, since there are no twilight X changeling pictures on Google. Anyone feel like drawing one? Credit will be given.
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Hmm, i think this is all i can say. MOAR
A changeling? Being studied by Twilight? And kept in the basement? This idea is incredibly similar to mine. But mine isn't quite as lighthearted.
Alright, time for a real review. You're missing a few apostrophes, in place where you would put them. Such as "changeling's magic", with the apostrophe. Adding an apostrophe and an S either shows ownership or adds "is" behind the word.
Next, you should really start a new paragraph every time a new character starts talking. It's a lot easier to keep track of. And a bit of work on capitalization wouldn't hurt, I found a few places where a character's name wasn't capitalized.
Didn't know something could be male nourished
Nice start. Good premise. Few errors.
(Collapsing in) redundant? collapsing covers it
(obviously [male nourished]) malnourished
Twilight not capitalized twice in paragraph 4
just before letter( I know [ill] write a letter) I'll
In letter to Celestia (dieing) dying
Same letter “hasn't (feed) off love” fed
Good start, will watch to see where it goes.
1036717
fixed
1036665
fixed
Yeah, sorry I'm lacking a proof reader.
1036791
fixed.
Today, I learned to proof read more than once.
1036866 why proofread? You have plenty of people here whi have done ut for you ;)
Great start in my opinion but it did feel a very tiny bit rushed. I am very much liking this story and I hope you update soon!
Good luck to you and I will be looking for updates!
I hate being tired lol
you might want to separate each characters lines. its hard to tell who is speaking when two characters share the same paragraph.
p.s. so you need a proof reader? *wink*
1037216
Are you offering? Because I could really use one.
1037327 sure. im writing my own stories if you want to judge the quality. i would be more than happy to help a fellow writer
Began fairly well....has lots of potential. I look forward to your future works good sir, because you have excellent writing skills
3 dislikes. They can't even leave a reason?
You have my attention. I really like what I've read. That's your cue to write more, because I'm watching
Hunter C. Creed
Noticed a few mistakes. But nothing that really took away from the story as a whole. Must say I'm quite interested as to what shall happen next.
In short, keep up the good work.
Hunter C. Creed
Check Twilight. Few times her name is spelled with small letter.
Other than that... Just re-read without hurry, there were minor errors. And they are so minor i can't remember where exactly they were.
Story: Good.
Maybe a bit fast, but looks good.
hmmm needs to be longer.
i like it and hope you keep it up
MOAR
lcdj
I'm getting tired of this story. I might end it, or i might just update every once in a full moon.
That happened waaaayyyyy to fast what just happened
“Oh, it’s nothing like the libraries of Canterlaught, hundreds of books spanning walls after walls.” they continue with casual conversation.
its canterlot not canterlaught
Whoa Keenan. I wanna know what drugs you were on when you wrote this, cuz the pacing was TOO DAMN FAST!
1163024
Cocanium. ha, I'm just not used to writing these long drawn out stories. Well, time to go learn from google.
hope you do update it
never seen a changelingxtwilight story before
WTF
thats a summery
WTF
explanation : was never going to finish this and decided to make a joke of my pacing. which was crazy fast. by making it faster. At least you know how it ends.
Well then... Huh...
And then?
And then?!
I think it is one of shortest non-one-shots I've read.
Seriously, tag it complete for lulz.
If you ever write more or re-write it completely... I will keep it in faves. To watch.
Wow you sure know how to piss people off with a horrible ending chapter
, it' not even a chapter it's just a crappy summery
I am pretty sure Trollestia Approves...
2139807
Hey, if you are never going to finish this, do you think I could take over and redo the story when I get a chance?
4169605
yeah sure, idc
4186960
Cool, thanks
4118288
Yes I believe she approves as well.
Too fast-forward in the plot, many orographical errors.
Changeling: well shit.