First Contact

by moonbutters

Interview Code #001008900706-A

[Recording Start. Voices of agents have been scrubbed from recording automatically.]

Best I can remember, it was raining.

Yeah, that sounds right. Raining. That’s why she asked to come inside in the first place, after all. Because it was raining.

I mean, it’s kinda funny. The expression, “raining cats and dogs.” It’s something she said, when she asked to come in. What does that even really mean?

What’s that again?

Ah. From the beginning. Well, I was born at a very young age-

Hey, hey, no need to get out the taser, I’m just messing with you. As I said before, it was raining, real hard. Sounded like fifteen gigantic millipedes were clog hopping on my roof. I was on my computer, talking with some friends. Not real talking, you know? So I was on the computer, and I heard a knock at the door.

It was a pretty loud knock- it had to be, ‘cuz of the loud rain. Nobody I know is crazy enough to be outside in weather like that, and I doubted that it was the girl scouts with cookies, so I got up and went to the door so I could look through the peephole.

I saw nobody. Just my street in the dark, and a ton of rain.

Yeah, it was last night.

So I close the little peephole cover and start to head back to my computer, but there’s another knock, louder than before.

So, I go back to the door, look out the peephole and again, there’s nothing. But this time the knock comes again, and since I can’t see nothing, I open the door.

And right outside my door is this cute little three-foot black horse thing. Huge eyes. I kinda stare at it for a second, and it just stares back at me and then we both speak at the same time.

...Yeah she can talk.

Yeah, I’m sure. Trust me on this.

So we both spoke at the same time.

I said “You’re kidding, right?” and she said “It’s raining cats and dogs out here. Will you let me come in until the rain stops?” although she took longer to say her thing so I got to hear the end of it. Then we both said “What?” at the same time. I was gonna go for a third time but she spoke before I was ready.

“I said it’s raining cats and dogs out here. That’s a phrase on your world, right?”

I stared for another second, drowning in a sea of adorable, before I was able to-

Oh, what she looked like? Well, that doesn’t really matter. You see-

You insist? W-well okay. She was all black, with wings like a pegasus and a horn like a unicorn. She had a.... do horses have shoulders? Okay, then she had a mane down to her back, all a lighter dark grey. Can I continue now?

Good. So, I stared for another second, drowning in a sea of adorable, before I was able to respond. “Yes?”

“Good.” she said, her eyes drilling in to me. Not literally. She looked kind of angry, but I found it hard to take her seriously because she was so darn cute. “Can I come in and dry off? Please?” She said the last part through gritted teeth.

Yeah I let her in! No, of course she didn’t mention anything about the eggs. If I was gonna go lay eggs in somebody’s house, I sure as heck wouldn’t ask permission.

So, I told her “Yeah,” and stepped aside, and she walked in. That’s a thing, right? Horses and walking?

Yeah, I know it doesn’t really matter but it bothers me.

Fine, fine, I’ll continue. So, ah, she came in, and I closed the door. Honestly, I was still trying to process what exactly was happening, so I wasn’t really paying attention when she asked me a question.

I did notice when she poked me in the leg with her horn.

“I asked you a question, human. Now, might I have a towel to dry off?” I could tell she was trying really hard to sound nice, but was really annoyed. Probably at me.

So, I said “Sure,” and headed to the bathroom to grab her a towel. I was out of the room for like thirty seconds, and I come back in with two towels and she’s just gone.

No, no. The eggs weren’t all over the place yet. That came later. No, she was just in the kitchen, standing in front of the closed fridge. When I came in she turned to me and said “Thank you for the towel, human.” And then she pulled the towels out of my hands with her mind! I mean like what? Like, magic is real, is what I mean.

I’ve been wondering, are you guys the FBI? No? CIA?

...What does NYB stand for?

Oh, we got a regular jokester here. None of Your Business. Yeah, yeah, I’ll get back to what happened.

So, she pulls the towels out of my hands and then floats them over to herself and then she starts drying off. By then I finally had enough nerve to ask her a question.

“So, uh, what’s your name, hotstuff?”

No, I didn’t say that. Just kidding.

Look, I already tried to tell you that you’re not gonna find her. She’s not what she looks like.

Okay, so what I did ask was “What’s your name?” and she told me it was Lyssy. Honestly, she looked more like a Crystal than a Lyssy, but I don’t name ‘em. So then I asked “So, what are you?” and she stopped drying herself off and looked me dead in the eyes and said “A pony.” and I told her “Yeah no. You’re no pony.” And she just looked at me, kinda like that dude behind the glass is looking at me- all annoyed like and such.

I get that look a lot.

“You look nothing like a pony.” I told her, and then I brought up a google image search of “pony” and I got nothing that looked like her. So I showed her.

She kinda didn’t understand at first, so I had to tell her “This is a picture of a pony. See?” and then she walked over and looked at my phone screen. And then she looked back at me and said “That is not a pony.” She looked confused.

“That’s a pony and you are not that. First things, your eyes are too big, and second, uhh, your head is too round.” I said. She just kind of looked at me more, still confused I guess.

See, my guess is that she’s an alien. A cute alien, but an alien nonetheless. It makes sense, right? Don’t know where she got such a weird idea of what a pony looked like, though.

Okay, so this Lyssy thing finishes drying off, right? And then she uses her super-psychic magical powers to dry the towel. I thought that was pretty darn cool, so I told her “That was pretty darn cool.” and she gave me the same look I’m getting from that guy by the door. Yes, you. Look, I’ll get to the eggs when I get to the eggs.

So she floats the towel back over to me and then asks me “Do you have a washroom?”

“Like, a bathroom?” I replied. Because for all I know, an alien washroom is where they birth their babies or something.

Anyways, she nodded and I showed her the downstairs bathroom and she looked pretty amazed by the toilet so I was gonna show her how to flush it but she shooed me out and closed the door. And then there was like five or so minutes of nasty, nasty noises that made it sound like she was exploding... things all over the bathroom. I had to go hide in my room for a bit, because I was really close to spewing my dinner on the floor.

When she was done, I was kinda scared to go look, but when I did, the bathroom was totally clean. Like, cleaner-than-it-was-before-clean. So that was neat.

So after that we just kinda talked.

About what? Human tech. Phones, computers, stuff. She seemed really interested and I was kinda influenced by her weaponizable adorability, so when she asked me something, I’d tell her what I knew about it. So after a few hours of this-

Yeah, I’m sure it was a few hours. I let her in a little before 9, and it was almost midnight when she said she was tired. So, in the spirit of “be nice to the alien “pony,” I gave her my guest room bed and then I went to bed myself.

And when I woke up there were these black eggs all over the place along with green slime.

I’m talking like nasty, smelly green slime, like the kind- wait, are you getting a report? Are those guys at my house?

No, I wanna hear this. Hold it close to the recording microphone. Mind giving me a copy of this whole thing when we’re done?

”...Investigating the southeast room now, large concentrations of eggs and green contaminate.”

...Southeast. That’s the guest room!

”Door was partially sealed, had to use force to enter. Inside the room there are more eggs, and- and a human body. Male. Smith, check his pulse. ...He’s still alive. Face matches that of subject Andrew Johnson, owner of house. Except, he was taken into custody? Base, are you getting all of this?”

Looks like the jig’s up, boys. I’m not Andrew.

”Oh god, it’s changing! Unlock the door! Unlock it!”

I’m not human.

”LET US OUT!”

I’m your worst nightmare, but you can call me... Chrysalis. Queen Chrysalis.

[Recording Terminated without authorization. Incident will be automatically reported to O-5 in three (3) days time.]

Author's Note:

I blame Spades Duck.

Comments

[karnazom]

WOW...IT'S LIKE THE SCP
.
.
.
.
.
IS THIS SCP?

[karnazom]

OKAY IT'S SCP INTERVIEW

I READ THIS FAST AND GOOD

[nioniosbbbb]

I am the lucid dream...

The monster in your nightmares.

THE FIEND WITH A THOUSAND FACES!

COWER BEFORE MY TRUE FORM!

BOW DOWN BEFORE QUEEN CHRYSALIS!

[LunarEmpire23]

i kinda want a squeal that's like a full on story

[Paper Mache Man]

I wonder what kind of defenses Chrysalis has against firearms..

[Lovecraftia]

[Recording Terminated without authorization. Incident will be automatically reported to O-5 in three (3) days time.]

HOLY FUCK IT'S AND SECURE CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL FOUNDATION STORY!

[Scorch215]

9334044
Depends how powerful you see magic blasts are since she can probably make a sheild.

Plus she did survive a massive explosion that destroyed the top of the changeling hive and being buried under a lot of stone so safe to say she's pretty tough.

[Paper Mache Man]

9334057
Fair enough.

[Dreadknight garen]

Thought this was halo for a sec with sgt andrew johnson

[VampDash]

9333982
*Turns on Lamp*

[TheAncientPolitzanian]

9333962
Judging by the "Report to OS-5" at the end, yes.

[FoodFrogs]

I like how it suddenly shifted to SCP with the mention of the O-5 at the end there. More!

9334055

HOLY FUCK IT'S AND SECURE CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL FOUNDATION STORY!

PROTOCOL

Procedures! It's procedures!

[Silentwoodfire]

Interesting that the picture link works, but the source end has nothing to show for it.

[Advent Link]

Yeah.... Even knowing something like this may happen, I'd still let her in to be honest.

[SCP049]

Well now.

[moonbutters]

9334859
No need for the cure here, doctor. At least, not yet.

[Lovecraftia]

9334760
FUCK! YOUR RIGHT!

[Tide Hunter]

9334760
9334889
Yeah, but let's also not forget that the S is "Special" not "secure" in that acronym. It's only "Secure" in the "Secure. Contain. Protect." version.

[moonbutters]

9334911

9334889

9334760

In my opinion, S.C.P is a general acronym that both stands for "Special Containment Procedures" and "Secure, Contain, Protect."

[Tide Hunter]

9334915
I know, that's why I made reference to both versions of the acronym.

[Dr Freaky]

9334915
Yes but special containment procedure and secure contain protect were invented by the Scp foundation.

[Conflicting views]

Nome of Your Business

Unless I am missing a joke, it should be none.

[FoodFrogs]

9334911
Dang. You're right! That "protocol" thing threw me off completely.

[LunaScribbles]

Oooh... That twist was amazing.
Not what I expected from the cover photo.

[moonbutters]

9335156
Thanks.

[Stainless Steel Fox]

The only problem is, Chrysalis is not this good an actor. She sucks at infiltration. The only reason she got away with it during 'A Canterlot wedding' was because everyone assumed she was freaked out by the wedding preparations.

[Omnishifter]

Darn it, how did I not see that coming?...I guess I thought Chrysalis was too proud to act like your typical everyman goofball

[Alondro]

They should have stuck a hot wire into him to see if he changed shape.

Yeah, I know they just used some blood in "The Thing"... I just figure, why take the extra time?

Also, if they were the "Andromedra Strain" scientists (about the only movie scientists who acted like real scientists trained in quarantine procedures. The "E.T." guys were pretty good about it too.), they would not be sitting with this guy chatting when he was clearly contaminated by alien germs... and then turned out to be an alien... hence why STRICT QUARANTINE is mandatory for anything unknown.

Also... cherngelerngs... (nukes the state this takes place in, just to be safe!)

[Accurate Balance]

If this is an SCP-related story, please allow me to correct you that they do not say O-5. Instead, they say the O5 Council.

[Alondro]

9334044 Considering she's never shown any proclivity to create shields, I'm guessing she's not really that skilled. Seeing as how changeling drones could be knocked out by a good buck to the face, they're not any sturdier that most critters either.

So unless these are OC-modified chernglerngs (ermahgerd) with xenomorph additions, this scenario would end with the no doubt masses of military weaponry and incendiaries surrounding the house being unleashed all at once and fried bug horse being the result.

Chrysalis forgot the basic rule of infiltration and replacement: FIND A GOOD HIDING PLACE FOR THE ORIGINAL'S BODY!! Which is easy if you just eat or assimilate it (like "The Thing").

Huh... also, how did this get uncovered? Why is the military there? If she'd replaced this guy already... did she call them? The story kinda implies that. Or, did she let him see what she was up to, then only capture him after he'd already taken the time to contact officials who wouldn't just assume he was a nutcase. Why would she do that? That's just stupid. She clearly didn't learn anything from the failure of "Canterlot Wedding".

[Just_Me123]

Lol, this is cute, go get 'em, er, us, Chryssi! A comedic take on Gothic Horror, staring best bug horse? Why not.

[Dragonwaz]

The twist happened just a little too fast. In my opinion.

[batran]

I keep imagining andrew johnson as looking like president andrew johnson

[Kichi]

And Chrysalis begin her invasion...

[Mr Swanky Hat]

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/909/389/15e.png what the story pic reminds me of

[Atomiqal]

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213944/warriors-of-jesus/thread/384630/containment-breach

Your orders are out, men. Now follow them.

Nine'o'Tails, you're up first.

Remember: We Secure. We Contain. We Protect.

[VinylOcty]

Please tell me this is SCP story.It's way too much like a SCP story.I like both SCP and Pony .

[strangephantasm]

Wow, I feel sorry for those sacrifices. She walked right into the trap though. Shapeshifting? That's frigging child's play compared to the crap the Foundation has seen. I bet for a while there she really believed that she wasn't already contained.

[shadowgod3211]

ME: *SEES THE COVER ART*

ME: ............................................................ NOPE!!

*walks away*

[dragonjek]

The SCP universe?

Heh. Maybe Chrysalis'll look into the records on some SCPs. I'd bet you anything she'd decide to dump this planet for literally anywhere else before she ever reaches the triple digits.

[Shenzy]

A chrysalis story... :D Must read!

[Samurai_Shippo]

SCP is screwed.

[JazzyWaffles]

Oof, looks like the Foundation sent their rookie squad to this one. Were probably expecting something benign.

[MidnightFMare]

9338166y exact thoughts.

[Liqwidice]

This deserves more chapters.

[Marker]

9337914
Chrysalis doesn't strike me as the type to read through all the records before poking her head into whatever containment room she come across.

Klaxons and flashing red lights accompanied the opening of the heavy reinforced door.

"...Now let's see what's you guys are keeping in this cell-- oh by Order, it smells worse than the Hive's waste pit in here! And... is that it? All those security measures just to store this? You humans are weird... Never mind, is there a bathroom around this place? I feel like I need to throw up..."

Chrysalis trotted away, paying no heed to the muffled and frantic cries of the two researchers who are left gagged and glued to the wall, their fearful gaze focused fixedly through the open portal, at the stationary form of SCP-173 .

[JEFFERY8U]

9336756

[Godslittleprincess]

Oh, crud!

[Perpetually Confused]

9335782
they just shrugged, then unlocked 999's cell

[VitaminDude]

Flow feels clunky. Is it intentional due the twist?