• Member Since 18th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen 8 minutes ago

Liquid Truth

Life's pretty great



There are many things Kepler was known for: mathematician, astronomer, and a great man. Calm, however, was not one of them. Especially when his life's work decided to do a barrel roll.

There are many things Celestia was known for: calm, regal, and caring. Also, for the few close to her, mischievous. Kepler was not one of them.

Any kind of criticism sophisticated, highly intellectual insults are welcome.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 63 )

This story can be summed up as follows:

"Celestia lowers the sun while sitting next to Johannes Kepler.
He doesn't take it well."

Nice, light, and refreshing. A thumbs up and favorite from me, good sir.

A diplomat, he is not.

Yeah. Yeah, I could've said that. Much simpler. Like how our life was, and how we lost them to time. How happy one would be if time is by our hands, and how <insert general nostalgic rabbit hole here>

Anyway, thanks for your opinion. It matters. Maybe. But what is an opinion but <insert self-speculated, unreliable philosophical contemplation here>

Good thing Celestia's chill. Chillosophy's her middle name, and by that, she lives her millennia.

Someone want to point out to Kepler that a plausible reason Equestria works the way it does is because the planet is tide-locked after some catastrophy (perhaps Discord related in a way they coulnd't unfrack it, or perhaps even older) and thus requires manual adjustment of sun and moon (either by planetary rotation or Celestia actually retrocasually moving the sun eight minutes ago (assuming the sun is not simply a smaller and closer celestial body)) in order for the planet not to suffer...?

Comment posted by unfortunately yiff deleted Dec 9th, 2018

Kepler was a genius, but he never quite separated what he wanted to believe from what was, and what his contemporaries eventually proved. Thing is, now he has a whole new universe with strange new laws to test his pet theories in. He should be happy! But no, he couldn't handle what was right in front of him: A horse with a horn, wings, and floating mane and tail, wearing gold accessories, and raising and lowering the sun. Kepler has... issues. :trollestia:

Anyway, nicely done.

I really want to see more of this setting, with famous scientists discovering the magic of this land. It sounds fun.

As an astrophysicist, this greatly amuses me. Thanks to Estee for sending me here. I will watch your career with great interest.

No one bring up speed-of-light delay. The poor man would probably bite off his own tongue in impotent fury.

Hilarious little vignette. Thank you for it.

A very odd piece, this, but enjoyable all the same. I would very much like to read the story of how this situation came to be.

Keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

OMG. Estee brought me here too,

That Story Image! Great scene!

OK, Newton was born in 1642. Kepler died in 1630. Einstein wasn't born until about 2 & 1/2 centuries later. The "willing suspension of disbelief" is one thing & of course the rules are less strict for a comedy, but no.

Nice idea, but needs a lot of work

As to Celestia raising the sun, most bronies assume a Ptolemaic world. I've always thought that it was small & flat.
What I want to see is the reaction of a religious person to watching Celestia raise the sun
"Let there be light!" & the next thing that you know, they're running around & screaming "Blasphemy!" :trollestia:


So wait, Kepler was a stubborn, pig-headed man in real life?

Try to write a sequel. Don't choose how it works, let the world behind the words itself explain.

Easy for Neuton and Galileo to tell Kepler to take a chill pill, they haven't learned about quantum mechanics yet. Even Einstein was salty about that. Bohr and Hawkins would have a field day in the magical land of Equestria, utilising both the uncertainty principle and string theory to new heights.

"...She didn't know what I've been through, fighting against the Pope to prove The Heliocentric Theory!"

Galileo looked at me unamusedly.


*taps out*

Oh, for sure man. that whole "being an immortal motive force" gig can get seriously stressful, so ya gotta take some time off. Some time on the throne, some time on the town, yeah?


Of course, there's always someone who can't get away from their job...

9339114 I'm not an expert on him, but he clearly made some great contributions to science, and to moving Science forward. He was also a genius who also held Astronomy and Astrology in his head at the same time, and tried to reconcile their contradictions into something real. And he did it in a time when people were still being burned alive for heresy (his mother was accused of being a witch). So I can see where he'd be a little perturbed by a horse raising and lowering the sun. :rainbowlaugh:

I liked this story. It was an enjoyable read. Ended a little abruptly, but that's not always a bad thing. Thanks!

Okay, now I want to see a sequel of every notable Human scientist in Equestria!

In all seriousness, you could turn this into something bigger! :raritywink:

Colorful sentient creatures, colorful nonsentient creatures, colorful sentient non-creatures, all the new.

Sapient, sapient and sapient ;)
A fly is sentient as is anything with a brain.
We are sapient - like in "Homo sapiens"; "thinking man".

Love the meme tho

would be interesting if you made more stories in this "universe"

Pretty neat, though I think freaking out like that is more in line with Galileo's personality than Kepler's, and I don't remember the latter ever coming into conflict with the Pope over astronomy. Be fun to see this developed more.

Sense? Where is the fun in making sense?

Ha! When 'It's magic, I don't gotta explain nothing' just won't cut it with a scientist.

(Equestria is actually like Discworld, with the sun and moon being relatively tiny above a planer world.)
(Or it's a pocket universe, with celestial spheres)
(Or it's Discord's fault)
(Or all of them)

Awww, poor Kepler.

...Huh. Well, this is weird.
[upvotes, Favourites, and follows]

This was wonderful. Poor Kepler. :rainbowlaugh:

This was fun. Thanks for the good read.

A jolly good read, chap. Tally-ho, I do say that rapscallion Celestia!

I think you want ‘sapient’, as we have many ‘sentient’ animals right here on Earth.

God Celestia knows y'knowat? No one does, Man. No one does.

That guy who wrote about durians and chocolatiers? Wow, man. Goodluck astrophysicing, bytheway.

Thanks for the feedback.

And I'm not the brightest at understanding metaphors. Any hints?

Riiiiight... thanks

There's documentary on their personality?

Or the tablet of knowledge

For everyone else: Thanks, Man. Never expected this to go so well. Especially Estee.

Galileo was known to start the Renaissance equivalent of flame wars with those who criticized his work or happened to discover things independently of him (see Christoph Scheiner), which made him a lot of enemies and is probably why he got into trouble with the Church. I don't know much about Kepler, but as far as I know he never had any significant trouble with anyone.

9339818 At the time it wasn't hard to get into trouble with the church. all you had to do is say something they disagreed with

It's very simple: their Sun is a relatively small ball of magical energy, not a giant ball of super-heating plasma with a fusing core.

Why it needs to be moved NOW despite the world clearly existing for a long time before the ponies ruled things... perhaps something broke the order of their world. Discord? But had he been there before the 3 Tribes, would he not already have been ruling? Something WORSE than Discord? Perhaps!

It's one of the great mysteries of Equestria... which I'm sure Season 9 won't even mention. :facehoof:

The concept alone has this on my read later. I'm sure it'll cheer me up the next time I need a boost.

Funny. Need Moar.

I have to see one of these with Einstein. Maybe even Von Braun, but I need Einstein. SHOW ME MORE, I BEG OF YOU!

Couldn't Luna and Celestia simply be manipulating the relative passage of time compared to the planet? Like, basically, just bending the light around it to suit the needs of their show (the Princesses' show, not the show). They could do this by manipulating the local gravitational constant/strength of gravity (actually, since Discord =~ Q from Star Trek TNG, and in TNG Q literally tells the crew to do this...); manipulating the relative mass difference between the bodies; use a heretofore unknown massive body in between the planet and the other bodies to bend light around them (including a possible virtual mass that exists only when needed/observed); teleport the rays of light around the planet (I like this one, as teleportation is canon and light weighs a lot ducking less than planetary or celestial bodies), or Celestia could "simply" be moving the planet around the Sun, and she feels it as if it's the other way around. Consider a spinnable object A and a (spin definition not needed) object B in a closed system, and you want the "Front" of A to face B, you can move B to the front of A, OR spin A until its front faces B. Now consider that B is oodles more massive, and even if there were a tether between the two, it'd be far easier and still perceptively the same to spin A compared to moving B. We can thank Newton for that--just as the Sun exerts a force on us, we exert a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction upon it--so both objects feel the same pull.

EDIT: (Reply 9340385) In other words, Newton should be able to explain to Kepler what really is happening while Einstein would offer an entirely different perspective that's just as right (there may be more than one disparate reason why), only more complicated.

Yeah, if these three saw this show, they would be rolling over in their graves.

Completely out of character. Kepler was a meek, quiet and patient, while Galileo was an arrogant braggart who usurped the right to all the discoveries that can be made in the sky and would take this as a deadly affront.





There may be an even easier explanation: there is no planet to begin with! And there probably is no outer space as well. It's just as we can see it: mother earth beneath, blue sky above, the sun makes day, and the moon rises at night; and the stars are jemstones. Of course Equestria needs somepony to control the celestial objects!

What I wonder, however, is: why is it only Celestia gets to rise the sun? Aren't there other rulers in the neighbouring countries to do that as well? And why do villains attack Equestria, if Celestia's got the power to make the daylight?! Or are they just some night creatures? But the royal pony sisters control both day an night! Maybe, there are other suns and moons?..

Now these are the questions to ponder...

I feel like of the group Newton, the man who fought hook to his death over like everything then began a crusade to snuff out all of hook's work wouldn't take this so lightly.

lets do this again though.

9341633 Actually, you forget that the unicorns used to raise the Sun and Moon. Celestia wasn't always there.

And before the unicorns? What set all this in motion?

We need Tolkien to write a 'Silmarillion' for Equestria... I'll get to work on the resurrection machine.

That moment when you’re doing physics homework and a fimfiction about breaking the laws of physics becomes featured.

Well, I’d certainly be a bit perturbed if the Laws of Physics and Time had giant loopholes in them suddenly. Good story :)

Resurrection machine.

Yeah, that's exactly what we need to cover up the how-the-three-meet-each-other plot hole, Man.

And you know what happens when a plot hole is covered? Let's do that, Man. Let's do that.

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