• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2018
  • online

Twilight star


I like to write stories about the shippings: TwiLuna, MoonLight, NightmareRarity, RariLuna, NightmareNightmare, ChryLight, TempestLight and LunaCord

Sequels1

E
Source

Princess Luna and Princess Celestia rule Equestria ; Luna brings the night and Celestia the day. But what if Celestia turned Daybreaker and was banished, instead of Luna?


Art by TomoCreations

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 27 )

This needs editing, PRONTO.

9332696
Misplaced comm,as, incorrect apostrophe's, where do I start?

9332707
How about getting rid of that misplaced comma in your own sentence first :derpytongue2::rainbowlaugh:

9332724
tHat wou,ld be a good ide!a

9332753
C,oOl̷̜̩͎̝̟͓̠̬͔̲̮͑͋̿̎)

Not bad, I see some potential here

Lunaverse and its sequels already happened, why so sudden?

You can get a free proofreader here
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/]The Proofreader Group

No, they don't own the idea but you should at least see what has already been done
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/760/the-lunaverse

Now, we wait a thousand years for her return

9332707

And some incorrect word choices. And I've only read Chapter 1.

I'll come back when it's better.

Nice job so far, but it needs a bit of editing - don't forget to revise your work (maybe get Grammarly as well - it helps with my stories_ because I really like this story.

Very concise story description; gets the point across. Writing style is hard to understand and stilted.

Wow! Talk about a role reversal. Good work.:trollestia:

So, the Equestrians are nocturnal?

10158068
Well, different realities. Different body structures.

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