Ch.28 Red Hood
"What do you mean you have to go?" Pinkie whimpered, staring at her borrowed bedroom's mirror.
"Just that," Tattle sighed. "I need to return to mother before she worries about me. If I don't, she will come looking for me and we both know what that will mean."
"Right," Pinkie shuddered. "But...I'll miss you."
She flinched, then let out a happy sigh as the now familiar feeling of her boyfriend's magic enveloped her.
"I will only be gone for a couple days," he smiled. "I'm sure you can find a way to keep yourself busy in the meantime."
"Yeah," she sighed, then smiled sheepishly as she added, "I'll still miss you though."
"As will I," he said, smirk audible in his tone. "But we both know I have to do this."
"Right," she sighed glumly.
Pinkie's eyes widened with a blush spread across her face as she felt Tattle's magic lightly tap her cheek. She let out a giggle as she stared at her reflection with half-lidded eyes.
"Try not to break the world while I'm gone," he whispered with a chuckle.
"I'll try," she winked. "Just get back as soon as you can."
"Yes, m'lady," he chuckled.
With that, Tattle severed his connection and shifted back into the unconscious plane. As he did, Pinkie let out a sad sigh at the cold solitude of her own mind. It was at that point as she stepped away from the mirror that she became aware of just how quiet her mind was without Tattle in it. In a lot of ways it reminded her of how she felt at the end of a party and everyone went home. That was always the part she liked the least about her hobby as she spent whatever time she needed to clean up a room. One minute it was the sight of merriment and the next, just another part of a building.
She sighed as she flopped onto her bed, early morning light pouring in from her bedside window.
"This is no fun," she mumbled glumly as she rolled onto her side. "What do I do now?"
One of her ears twitched as a howling in the distance caught her attention. A wide grin spread across her muzzle as she sat up.
"I guess some practice wouldn't hurt."
***
Discord let out a sigh as he stared into his teacup, his normally jovial face marred by a weary frown. As he summoned a licorice stick to stir his tea, he looked above himself at his friend sitting at her living room table with her own cup looking up at him.
"Discord, is something bothering you?" Fluttershy asked, concern heavy in her features as she stared at her friend from his seat on the ceiling.
"Am I that obvious?" he groaned, his cup floating next to him as he rubbed his forehead.
She nodded.
He sighed, then snapped his claw and turned his seat into a therapy couch as he sprawled out across it. Fluttershy blinked as she found herself in a baby-blue suit with her mane done up in a bun and a pair of wire-framed glasses sitting on her nose.
"Well Miss Shy,I've started getting close to...somepony lately," he said with his lion's paw resting over his face.
"I see," she smiled, pushing her new pair of glasses further up her muzzle as she went along with Discord's antics. "Is this somepony I know?"
"In a way," he said, clearing his throat. "I guess everypony knows her technically."
"I see. Does she like you back?"
"Very," he chuckled. "Let's just say, it's a good thing I'm immortal."
Fluttershy's cheeks turned pink as an, "Oh my," slipped past her lips.
"Anyway," he said, waving away the budding tangent. "Her birthday's coming up in four days and I have no idea what to get her."
"Well, that shouldn't be too hard," Fluttershy said with a patient smile. "What does she like?"
He tapped his chin with his eagle talion as he mulled over what he knew about Celestia before asking "Do you know anypony that likes to kidnap other ponies?"
She blinked dumbly at him for a second then said, "Um...no?"
"Drat," he huffed, crossing his mismatched arms. "Well there goes that idea. What about a cake bigger then Canterlot Castle?"
"Can she eat that much cake?" Fluttershy asked, blinking owlishly at her friend.
"Probably," he mused. "But then again, everypony will be making her cakes so there wouldn't be any real point. She already has all the bits she could ever need fifty times over so that's out."
They sat in silence for a few minutes as they mulled over ideas. At the same time, Fluttershy was trying to figure out who caught Discord's eye. It seemed like her friend couldn't use his usual flare to impress this mare, nor could he interest her with wealth. A rather strange turn of events, but one that helped somepony with her current social connections make a few educated guesses.
"Perhaps Princess Celestia would like to go on a trip somewhere," she offered, her lips pulled into a small sly smile.
A wider, yet equally sly smile spread across Discord's face as he looked towards his friend.
"Well done my dear. And yes, that does sound like a fine idea. Now, where should I take her?"
Before he could start thinking about possible vacation destinations, a spatial distortion from the Everfree caught his attention.
Now, what is this then?
"Hold that thought," he frowned quizzically, staring in the forest's general direction. "I'll be right back."
With a raised brow and a snap of his finger, the Dreconequis flashed out of existence. Still dressed like a therapist, Fluttershy looked up at her couch on the ceiling and let out a long sigh.
"He can fix it when he gets back," she grumbled, only to smile as she said, "I wonder what 'Flutterbat' would think about all this."
As she said that she held out a hoof and thought about her enchanted journal. A second later, said journal appeared on her hoof along with a quill and inkwell.
***
A clear cloudless night reined over a forest of giant lavender flowers, all of them filling the air with their namesake scent. Tall waterfalls from silver mountains filled the strange forest with the gentle echoes of running water for all that passed through. At the forest's heart was an open clearing with a massive ornate canopy bed set with dark-blue silk sheets and goose down covers and pillows. Laying with her legs tucked under her was Princess Luna, a faint smile hiding the sheer magnitude of her excitement.
Oh how we've awaited this day, she thought with a giggle. I wonder what kind of mare managed to net our catty son? She must be some type of actress or artist. He's always had a fondness for the arts and their makers.
A portion of her dreamscape shifted as someone slipped past her mental defenses. Her smile grew as she felt the unmistakable signature of her son's magic materialize not far from her current position.
We suppose we won't have to wait long.
A few minutes later, A tiger-sized dark-purple cat with shining silver spots dotting its body and wings as black as night stepped into the clearing. Tattle gave his mother a smile that practically screamed trouble as he approached the bed, a look that Luna recognized as his default expression in most situations. What made things different this time around was her son's posture. While he always moved with the kind of grace one would expect in his preferred form, he was a lot more fluid in his stride then usual. She also noticed that his star-spots were slightly brighter then usual as well, a sign that his spirits were high regardless of the form he took.
"Greetings mother," he said with a polite bow.
"Greetings our son," she smiled. "Tis been quite some time since you last graced our presence."
"There have been many who needed my aid," he shrugged, falling to his haunches.
"Indeed," she said, her smile growing. "Care to tell us who could demand so much of your time?"
"A very troubling case," he said cooly. "But nothing I can't handle myself."
"We see," the Lunar Diarch chuckled. "Tell us, will we need to add names to the royal family tree soon?"
Tattle reeled back at that, a light shade of red coloring his face as he stammered, "What do you mean? I-I haven't found anypony like that."
A cheshire's grin spread across Princess Luna's face as she leaned forward.
"We have done this song and dance far more times then you, our son. We know the look of those who are smitten and you practically sing it. Now, we can do this the fun way and continue this game, or you can give us a name and save us the trouble."
Tattle's wide eyes narrowed as determination replaced shock.
"No," he said, tail flicking irritably behind him.
Luna blinked, smile replaced by a questioning frown.
"Pardon?"
"My apologies mother," he sighed. "But I can't tell you her name. In fact, I would be grateful if you would stay away from her for now."
"And why should we do that?" a hint of anger filling her concerned tone.
"I fear you would not like the answer."
"Let us be the judge of that," she said coldly.
Tattle sighed, ears folding back and face drifting to the ground as he sadly stated, "She fears you."
Luna's eyes widened at that.
"Not just you, but all High Royals," Tattle clarified, noting the pain in his mother's eyes.
"Do you know what the cause of this is?"
He shook his head.
"She refuses to tell me."
"We see," she sighed. "That is quite unfortunate. We were hoping to meet the mare that managed to reel in our rowdy child."
A cheeky smile graced her muzzle as she said that, chuckling a bit at the rosy-cheeked frown Tattle sported.
"You will not let me rest for this, will you?" he asked flatly.
"Tis the pleasure shared by all mothers," she chuckled. "Be glad that you do not have any photographs for us to share with others."
"Maker be praised," he muttered under his breath.
Luna's smile turned less mischievous as she took in her son's sorry state and with a much more understanding tone asked, "Does this mare make you happy?"
"Very," he smiled. "I have never met anypony like her. She's bright, clever, an incredibly creative mind, and the sweetest being I've ever met. It truly hurts to see her so scared, but I would endure any pain if it meant bringing a smile to her face."
"Excellent," she nodded. "We shall make marriage preparations as soon as she is ready!"
"Please don''t," he sighed. "It is only proper that we at least date before walking down the aisle together."
"Curse these modern customs," she lamented, only to smile as she added, "Very well. We shall let you handle this as you see fit, so long as you promise to let us meet her when she is willing."
"Fair enough," he nodded. "I agree to these terms."
"We thank you, but can we please have a name? Speaking of her without one is quite frustrating."
Tattle mulled his mother's question over for a minute. He knew his mother wouldn't pry too far into this matter, but what little prying she would do would be relentless. On the other paw, there was no way he could give Pinkie's name to his mother. As he struggled to concoct an alias, images of Pinkie flashed through his mind. Her smile, her eyes, and her favorite red coat. He smiled mentally as an answer to his mother's question came to him.
"Red hood. Her name is Red Hood."
***
Discord frowned as he hovered through the Everfree, head constantly turning as he searched the forest for anything out of the ordinary. Well, anything that he himself hadn't made out of the ordinary at the moment. Those Plunder Vines really managed to adapt rather nicely to the forest's ecosystem.
"Where is it?" he muttered to himself, phasing clean through a tree. "I know I sensed the disturbance around here."
While strange happenings were relatively common place in the Everfree, dimensional distortions were beyond its limits of power. Something was dabbling in one of his schools of magic and he was going to find out what or who. A ripple of dimensional magic about fifty feet away caught his attention. He quickly locked onto its position before teleporting towards it. What he saw made his jaw drop.
Standing in an open clearing was a single pink Earth Pony wearing an off-fitting hooded red trench coat. Ten Timberwolves surrounded her with drooling maws as they waited for the right moment to strike. What shocked Discord wasn't the danger the mare was in, but the calm smile he saw outside of the shadow of her hood and the confident poise she held in the face of her attackers.
"So," she smiled. "Anyone want to test their luck?"
The wooden wolves growled, but otherwise didn't react to the mare's taunt.
She giggled.
"What's wrong? You're friend wasn't afraid. C'mon, I want to have some fun!"
A faint tremble ran through the wolves as some among them took a half-step back.
The mare frowned, then said, "You guys are no fun. How am I gonna get any practice if none of you want to play ball?"
Her ear twitched as a faint howling above her caught her attention. She looked up and an eager smile spread across her muzzle.
"Oh! Here comes your friend! One second please."
She fell to her haunches, completely ignoring the unnerved pack as something far above her descended. Discord had just enough time to recognize the falling howling thing as a Timberwolf seconds before the mare delivered a devastating right hook into the poor creature's chest. The wooden wolf let out a pained yelp just before it shattered into kindling. He cringed at the display of power. While he knew that the creature would just reassemble itself a few minutes later, it didn't make him sympathize with it any less. Granted, if anypony asked he would deny any such sentiments before turning them into a candy-coated cabbage cart for a few seconds.
The mare stared at the watching wolves with a near manic grin as she said, "Well? Who's next?"
The pack let out frightened whines before running back into the forest and out of sight. The mare sat in silence for a few seconds, then let out weary sigh as she stood back up.
"Good. I don't think I would've had enough magic to make it back home if that kept up."
Discord raised a brow at that as he watched her walk deeper into the forest. The mare looked and sounded a lot like Pinkie Pie, but this clearly wasn't the same bubbly party pony he knew and swam in pudding with every other week. For one thing, this mare was a lot more mellow then his friend. The Pinkie he knew was a ball of hyper with no known limit in sight while this version looked like she was barely keeping herself on her hooves. Another sign that this was just an uncanny resemblance was the way the pony wore her mane. Pinkie's mane and tail were such thick masses of curls that you'd think they were made of cotton candy while what bits of them weren't covered by the coat were straight with small curls at the end. Curiosity gripped the Chaos God as he watched the pony walking into the distant foliage. This doubled when he saw a small spacial distortion appear in front of her and she walked through it without a second thought.
For the first time in a long while, shock stalled Discord's mind as he stared at the space the pony previously occupied.
"What in the world?" he muttered as he floated over to the space the Pinkie look-a-like vanished in.
Frowning, he examined the empty space with the utmost scrutiny as he orbited the space. Humming to himself, he poked the space with his eagle's talon. The space rippled like water as the fabric of reality reacted to his magic. He smiled when he pulled his appendage away from the distortion and a portal identical to the one the pony summoned materialized.
"I see. A Gap Walker, eh?" he chuckled. "Now that's something you don't see everyday."
His smile widened when he looked through the gap and saw a familiar aged castle on the other side.
"Good taste," he nodded. "Wonder what she's done with the place."
With a smirk, he snapped his talon and turned into a fly before passing through the gap. He briefly nodded his approval at how smooth the travel was through the gap before flying towards the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters. About ten feet away from the castle gates, he spotted the red-clothed pony as she crossed the drawbridge through the front entrance. He smiled as he followed her past the threshold into the ancient structure. While he was a little disappointed that the mare didn't do anything to change the castle's aesthetics, he was pleased to see his marefriend's former home properly cleaned and maintained. He did almost blow his cover when the mare made it to the bedroom and hung up her coat though.
She could be her twin! he thought, jaws slack as he watched her step out of the room. Tweak the mane and tail a bit and change the Cutiemark and you wouldn't know the difference!
Buzzing behind her, he studied her as she made her way through the castle. A challenging feat due to the mare's constant gap-walking to get around. While this was impressive, it was nothing compared to the skill she displayed when she got to the castle's kitchen. After she got a pot of water onto the lit ancient oven, she held up a hoof and a potato fell into it from a summoned gap. While she waited for the water to boil she chopped up the vegetable with the skills and grace of a master chef. Without looking up from her work, she held up her hoof under yet another freshly opened gap as a carrot fell out into it. The second she was done with the potato she went to work chopping up the carrot after adding the spud to the almost boiling pot. He watched with wide eyes as she did this with a dozen other vegetables while occasionally adding some crushed dried herbs to the pot. He marveled at how easily she alternated between cutting ingredients and summoning gaps to get said ingredients from what had to be a rather well stocked nearby storage shed. Once she had everything stewing in the pot, she sat back and stared at the ceiling with a listless sigh.
"It's so lonely around here without him," she mumbled, then giggled listlessly as she added," Five hours and I'm already missing him. Guess I've got it pretty bad, huh?"
She sighed as she stuck her hoof into a newly summoned gap at her left and pulled out a book. She fell to her haunches as she flipped open the cover to kill some time.
"I know why he had to, but I really wish he didn't have to go."
Discord felt bad for the mare, only to gulp a little when a wide smile spread across her muzzle.
"We're gonna have a lot of time to make up when he gets back," she giggled wickedly.
Sure he'd seen enough, he flew out the nearest window into late afternoon sky.
Don't know who "he" is, but I hope he doesn't keep her waiting too long, he thought with a wicked smile before winking out of existence.
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Good chapter, can't wait for more.
Once he gets the story Discord's gonna aid and abet this as hard as he can, isn't he? This is an opportunity for a rare degree of chaos, and all he has to do is run a little bit of interference.
He can even legitimize it as a good deed, seeing as he's one of the few people who hasn't managed to make a bad first impression of himself.
YEY!!!!!
Great chapter. :D I especially loved the bit with Discord there at the end, that was the thought of someone wishing another bro good luck.
I get the impression more problems would be solved if Discord was just given a list of all known problems. I doubt many would like the solutions, but many would likely appreciate the brevity if nothing else.
No, Tattle! Bad kitty! You're not helping your new girlfriend by keeping her hidden. All you are doing is confirm her paranoia by acting like there is a reason to keep hiding, which is going to create an even bigger panic when she eventually does come across one of the high royals. Something that is all but inevitable given that A: you are dating her and all high royals are your family, and B: you let her make her home in the Everfree Forrest, which is prime playing grounds for Element Bearer shenanigans, one of which is a high royal and the other the pony that send your girlfriend running in the first place. Talk it out before that happens! Get your mother involved! You know she isn't going to eat your girlfriend. Help her.
9877416
He wants to help her but at the same time he doesn't want her to have a panic attack when they do meet. Or worse, he doesn't want her to think he betrayed her. It's a really tricky position he's put himself in.
9877528 Yeah.
This is a regular "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation that poor Tattle finds himself in atm.
Ya gotta feel for the guy.
On another note, Discord now knows where human Pinkie is now.
I smell shenanigans in the near future.
For everybody involved in this.
9877528
Oh yes, hence the yelling. He isn't going to avoid the panic attack by putting things off, since Pinkie will run into either one of the high royals or Pinkie eventually, given where she has made camp.
9877786
Which has already happened (Luna and Discord). The plan is to ease her into meeting them on her terms so she doesn't feel threatened.
9877810
Well yes, but neither Tattle nor Pinkie knows about Discord, which kinda underlines the point I'm futilely trying to make to a fictional character: Pinkie is right there, next to Ponyville, where two of the ponies she fears live and where the spirit of chaos dating his aunt frequently visits. Meeting anypony on Pinkie's terms was already a losing gamble to begin with, and the fireworks are either going to be traumatizing or spectacular, depending on the damage control.
But on a different topic, I love Fluttershy giving Discord dating advice. It really shows he still values her friendship very highly, even with his growing relationship with Celestia.
That, and therapist Fluttershy is adorable. I hazard a guess that the trip she advised is going to be an invite to a nice place in the mirror verse.
Oh my: Discord knows about Human!Pinkie
What will happen next?
Aha, Discord has noticed human Pinkie, and Tattle has been partially found out, Remains to be seen if his attempt at offering enough to appease Luna works in anyone's favor.
Will be interesting to see if she really is afraid of Luna as well, as Luna was not involved in any of the Sunset issues, and if she is, what that's about, as it seems it might be something other than just Sunset related.
Uh oh, Discord found EQG Pinkie... This may not end well
9886853
I...did count Celestia? The dragon isn't a god, is he?
I'm getting slowly caught up on this and this:
reminds me of a song:
Particularly the first two stanzas:
Love Luna messing with Tattle looking forward to seeing more in future chapters. Did Discord finding Pinkie give anyone else flash backs to this?
Boy Celestia wasted almost no time with her relationship upgrade with Discord also many lovers has she snoo snooed to death?
9918562
So far? 3.
Cause of death: dehydration, exhaustion, sensory overload, heat stroke, and crushed pelvis.
Victims: 1 Earth Pony, 1 Pegasus, and 1 Elder Dragon.
9918847
like, I get she is an alicorn but... how does one "snoo-snoo" an elder dragon to death? like, I could just be having some DnD PTSD flashbacks but like.. An Elder Dragon tho.
Shuddered. what is it with you and shutters?
Is he planning to get rid of Blueblood?
Or maybe he plans to rescue her Mario style.
9918847
😶 Elder dragon? As In NICOL BOLAS!? wait.... was it Nicol Bolas? A reformed Bolas who changed his name to Polaris!? He did mention Many Names and that a few were exclusive to Sunset.
Those being Dad, Pops, Daddy (Not exclusive but you get it) But what are his other names!?
9887028
That depends on if my theory holds any weight. I personally think with how much of an MTG nerd the author is, he secretly reformed a Villain from the franchise. And if he did, it would explain Sunset's personality before Rainbow Rocks and how she is a Red Blue mage in the game. After all her dad is a Grixis Mage if the Eternal Serpent is her dad~ although... if He is her dad, then... why he didn't save himself from death? He's done it before. Oh wait.... nevermind. Forgot you have to be able to concentrate on the spell and frankly, when dealing with a Sun Goddess with a cake that Big, yeah no mage stands a chance