Who Councils the Counselors
Starlight took a deep and steadying breath.
Moving her body had become a monumental task. With each step she took down the school halls, daggers shot up her hooves and made her wince. Her joints grinded like gristle as her legs pumped endlessly onward.
She hardly took notice of her surroundings as she trudged towards Twilight's office. A massive stack of folders floated alongside her, suspended in the glow of her magic. Each folder had a name attached, one for each student, minus the few students she still needed to see next week to complete the report Twilight had requested.
Ah, the joy of being a guidance counselor.
Normally her workload was small. The students rarely used her services, which wasn't surprising when most of them were ponies who already had their cutie marks. They knew what they wanted and needed from life already. What was left for her to guide and council them about? What to eat for lunch?
They hardly needed her.
That was, until recently. The aftermath of the incident saw every creature in the school at her door for the past week. Day in and day out she talked and talked… and talked. Her mouth was sore and her patience wore thin. This couldn't go on any longer. There wasn't enough coffee in the world. They were running out of her favorite blend in the faculty lounge.
Thank the goddess it was Friday!
And right on cue, the final bell rang out across the school, signalling the beginning of the weekend. Ponies (and others) came shuffling out of their classrooms and trotted through the halls.
It couldn't have come sooner, but as Starlight watched the students she could sense the wrongness of it all. The hustle and bustle of a normal Friday was gone. There were no students racing each other down the halls, no streaks of feathers and talons ripping around overhead. No excitement. Normally she had trouble maneuvering the cordidoors without bumping into someone, rabid to start their weekend. But not today.
Not since the incident.
The worst part was the unsettling quiet. Conversation was subdued. Ponies—and gryphons and hippogryphs and a certain little flutterbug—milled about in hushed tones and somber faces. The very color from the school was drained of its life. It was like the heart of the school was trapped in an icy, winter chill.
Starlight did her best to put on a smile to the students which trotted past her on her way to deliver her reports. They would return her smiles, nod and acknowledge her. It was all cordial and polite. And it was all an act, as much from them as it was from her.
After making her way through the sea of listless eyes and faces, Starlight stood before the door to Twilight's office.
She paused.
Hesitation gripped her. It was more than student reports on her mind. She'd talked with nearly every student and took their burdens upon herself, but she was faced with a counselor's dilemma: who counseled the counselors?
Hopefully, a friend. Twilight was the only pony she could talk to about her troubles, and after the past week, she had many.
With a resigned sigh, Starlight faced the purple and gold inlaid door to Twilight's office. She shoved the doors open with a loud thump of her hoof and stepped inside with her files following along.
The office was decorated in the same fashion as the rest of the school. Full of it's own outlandishly tall pillars and flowing tapestries, it was exactly the kind of pomp and circumstance Starlight hated. A spire-like window behind Twilight's small desk let in the dim light of the cloudy afternoon, casting uneasy shadows over the room. The Ponyville weather team had made time for cloudy, overcast weather today, which did little to improve the mood.
Starlight took a step toward the desk and put on her best smile for her friend. The bookish mare sat on the opposite side of the desk in her usual spot. Beset by teetering stacks of paperwork with her pen and quill at her side, she was truly in her element. The relish and fervor which she worked was an inspiring sight as always.
In her frantic scribbling and muttering, Twilight didn't even notice that she'd come in. Books and papers and staplers swirled around her head, gripped by magic, dancing to a perfectly orchestrated beat which the young princess controlled. The accuracy and efficiency which she could multitask was beautiful. And a little frightening.
Starlight coughed loudly.
Papers, books and office supplies exploded outward from Twilight as the startled mare shrieked. "Starlight!" she shouted, "Don't sneak up on a pony like that!"
While Twilight scrambled to catch the paperwork raining down around her, Starlight looked back over her shoulder at the door she'd just barged through, then to her towering stack of paperwork, suspending in the bright, obvious glow of her magic. Finally, she turned back to her friend as the last piece of paper from the air was snatched with a pink halo of Twilight's telekinesis.
"I truly am the master of subtlety," Starlight deadpanned.
Twilight ignored her and gaped at the stack of paperwork she'd brought in. "My goodness, is it already that late?" she asked, swatting a frayed strand of hair from her eyes.
"I'm afraid so." Starlight gave a solid kick with her rear hoof and sent the office door flying shut with an uncomfortable clamour. "Didn't you hear the bell?"
The way that Twilight hung her head and sheepishly smiled said it all.
"Well," Starlight said, dancing around her friend's awkwardness, "I finished all the reports you wanted for the end of the week."
Twilight circled around her desk and approached the mountain of papers. "All of them?"
"Well, almost all of them," Starlight admitted. She tried to hide herself behind the stack of paperwork as Twilight approached. "I still have twenty more students to interview. I really did try to get to them all before the end of the week."
"Oh, so only twenty student's left?"
"Only?" Starlight asked, confused.
"I expected the report would take far longer. You're amazing!" Twilight exclaimed, "I'm extremely impressed you helped so many of our students before the end of the week!
A small kindle of excitement and pride sparked inside her, dimmed, and then snuffed out as she thought about the conversation she wanted to have. The lack of joy on her face was quickly noticed by Twilight.
"Is everything okay?"
"It's… been a long day," Starlight said. The haphazard stack of paperwork was set down between her and Twilight, and after taking a moment to steady it, she released it from her magic. She sighed with relief to be rid of the burden.
Two violet eyes poked from around the stack. "I know the feeling! I've been going crazy trying to get everything done this week."
"I noticed," Starlight said, eyeing the devastation on Twilight's desk. "I'm surprised to see so much; you usually tear through it in the blink of an eye. Hasn't Spike been helping you?"
"He has, but I've been giving him a chance to relax the past couple of days."
"Oh, how nice," Starlight said while she rolled her eyes. "For Spike, anyway."
Twilight giggle from behind a hoof. "Come on, don't be like that. I promise everypony will get a chance to unwind soon. I'll be scheduling extra time off for all school staff and students once things settle down around here."
Time off.
The mention of it was like neclar to Starlights ears. Time could heal most wounds. Most. Many students had already recovered, but some of them would need more time than others. The staff were no exception.
"How about you?" Twilight asked, "How have you been?"
"As well as can be expected – I guess."
"You guess?"
"Yeah," Starlight said, drawing out a long sigh, "I guess I just keep wondering why you put a pony like me in charge of counselling." She hung her head from sight as soon as the words left her mouth.
Before Starlight could spiral further into self-pity, something tickled across her withers: Twilight's wing. The delicate touch of it played along her back and calmed her nerves. She looked up to meet her friend's eyes, expecting Twilight to be frustrated. But she wasn't. Twilight smiled, radiating patience and understanding. Starlight's stomach did somersaults as she tried her best to smile back.
"They trust you, Starlight. As do I."
She must have heard those words a thousand times, and she hated herself for doubt she felt each and every time. "I know you do, and that's why it's so upsetting that I…"
Starlight shut her mouth tight. With growing concern, Twilight leaned in closely and searched her face for answers. When she refused to yield, the lavender mare asked, "What upset you?"
"Being trapped in that stupid bubble," Starlight said, leaning into Twilight for support. "You and the others—our own students—did everything. They trusted me and I failed."
"It's not your fault," Twilight said in a firm voice.
"I should have seen it coming. I mean, me of all ponies."
Confusion broke out over Twilight's face. "What do you mean 'you of all ponies'?"
Starlight's stomach twisted in knots. Her friend, her very best friend, saw right through her. It was like she'd become one of Twilight's books; the mare could read her as easily as one these days.
"Nothing," she said, dismissing the topic with a casual wave. Trying for a giggle and getting a dry, cracked chuckle instead, she added, "I'm just being stupid. Let's forget I even said anything at all."
"You're not stupid for being upset about what happened," Twilight said, cutting right past her evasion and carrying on like before.
Why did she think that would work? Starlight muttered under her breath. "I know."
"And you know you can always talk to me if you want, right?"
Starlight nodded.
"Good," Twilight said, engulfing her in soft, downy feathers before she could escape. "You know what? Why don't we go do something nice after we finish up here? I think spending some time away from the school and relaxing could do you some good."
Eager to flee from the subject at hand, Starlight nodded emphatically. "Sure, what did you have in mind?"
"We could go to the library, or… oh! Maybe we could try the spa! Rarity is always trying to drag me there. What do you think?"
Being swept up in her best friend's feathery embrace and getting invited to go have fun was an alluring offer. For a moment, she nearly forgot about the damned itch of her tormented mind. Maybe going with Twilight and forgetting her troubles was the best option? It could be good for both of them. The two didn't go out very often and she liked spending time with her.
Of course, Twilight was a hassle sometimes too. She wasn't stoic and quiet like Maud, who never failed to respect personal boundaries. Not to mention Trixie who, like her, was bad at expressing her feelings – or more to the point, wasn't so incessant about sharing them like Twilight was.
She's the 'Princess of Friendship' so what can you do?
But regardless of those faults, Twilight was still kind. Funny. Maybe a bit eccentric at times, but that was part of her charm. She was a little weird, but Starlight liked that about her. She adored the quirky, zany discussions about magic and science and the nature of the universe and pony kind's place in that universe.
Twilight was fun.
Sharing morbid thoughts and dark, depressing emotions was not fun. But as much as going and chilling at the spa would be wonderful, it was only a fleeting joy. The thought which tormented her couldn't be massaged away, even by the exquisitely talented Spa Sisters.
No, she had to face the music.
But as she thought about it, her body grew hot and her lips trembled. What if Twilight didn't agree? The two often argued about things, but it was also true the princess was quick to reconcile. But what if she got mad? What if…
"Starlight?"
She jolted and took a step back from her friend. "Wait."
"Okay," Twilight said, blinking slowly. She cocked one brow higher than the other, obviously confused by the suddenness of her retreat. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"
"No," Starlight said. As soon as the word left her lips she balked. "I mean, yes, I'd love to do all those things! I haven't been to the spa in forever." The corner of Twilight's mouth curled up, the barest hint of a smile, which didn't last long as Starlight continued. "What I'm trying to say is that I have something else I need to talk about first."
"Oh!" Twilight chirped, "Well why didn't you say so?"
"What? I've been trying to."
"You have?"
Starlight's brow furrowed. "Haven't I?"
Finally, Twilights confusion gave way to exasperation and she groaned loudly. "If you have something to say, then say it! I promise I will do everything in my power to listen, and, if possible, help!" The lavender mare took a deep breath and fixed a gentler gaze at her. "What's bothering you? You've been acting strange all week."
Again, she felt like an open book.
"You noticed?" Starlight asked.
"Of course, you're one of my friends," Twilight said. Then, in a more conspiratorial and quiet tone she added, "One of my best friends."
She was sweet. And in hindsight, none of her other friends had even noticed her distress. Neither Maud nor Trixie; though it was just as likely they noticed and never mentioned it. Unlike them, Twilight was much more… forthcoming with her feelings and observations.
"The Princess of Friendship having best friends?" Starlight said with a smirk. It was a cheap, easy way to prolong the inevitable. Twilight predictably folded her ears back and pouted.
"I'm friends with everypony. I am 'The Princess of Friendship'. No playing favorites."
Starlight rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Princess."
"I just so happen to spend more time with certain friends because they're more… available."
"Uh-Huh."
"I cherish every one of my friendships!"
"Naturally."
It was all Starlight could do from bursting into giggles when Twilight glowered at her. The young princess sat her plot on the ground and crossed her forelegs. The tongue she stuck out was the icing on the pouty cake.
"You're a butt."
"That," Starlight said, snickering softly, "I can definitely agree with."
After a pause, both mares shared a hearty, if not short-lived chuckle at their own expense. The unearthly quiet that set in after the laughter died down said the pleasant times were coming to an end. It was time.
"Now come on," Twilight said, resting a hoof on Starlight's shoulder. "No more delaying."
Like a damn book.
"Tell me what's wrong?"
How exactly did one summarize a week long anxiety that took control of your life? How could she describe what it was like to wake up in cold sweats every night and be unable to get a normal night's sleep? How could she explain the burning, consuming fire of doubt that wouldn't go away?
Thankfully for Starlight, her torment had a name.
"Cozy Glow."
The overcast skies darkened at the invocation of that insidious name. That name which had passed between ponies around school for the past week in hushed, terrified whispers. A name which was on everyone's mind, but which no one could bring themselves to speak aloud.
"Oh," Twilight said, her wings falling to her sides listlessly. "I guess I suspected, but didn't want to bring it up so soon." She glanced at the tower of paperwork that Starlight brought in. "I've been expecting your report on everypony— everyones —condition. How are they taking it?"
"They're understandably upset," Starlight said. She shuffled on her hooves and met Twilight's eyes with a grave look. "They trusted her… As did you."
Twilight nodded and played with her forehooves. "I don't think anyone could have guessed Cozy Glow was so evil."
"Evil?" Starlight asked, her eyes narrowing. "You think so?"
"She could have taken over all of Equestria," Twilight said, fanning her wing out to demonstrate the breadth and severity of the situation. "She nearly succeeded in draining Equestria of its magic! And without magic…"
"No friendship, right?"
Twilight didn't answer, but shivered at the wrongness of it.
"But," Starlight continued, drawing Twilight's perked ear. "Is it really okay to call her 'evil'? She's only a foal, Twi."
"Yes," Twilight said a little too quickly, tapping her hoof restlessly. "We did what had to be done. The fact she's young doesn't change what she did."
"Yeah, but–"
"Please!" Twilight shouted, startling her into silence. "It wasn't something we chose to do lightly."
The feverish pitch of Twilight's sudden outburst put the gravity of the situation into perspective. But in spite of her insistence, Starlight's doubt remained. There was no doubt the little filly was deranged, but the sister princesses, plus Twilight and Cadence, had passed down their judgements on the very day it all happened. The whole affair came and went in the blink of an eye, happening so fast that nopony had time to even think about what happened, much less object.
"It's Tartarus, Twilight. We sent her to Tartarus!"
"Yes!" the alicorn snapped, her teeth gritting momentarily before she collected her calm. "We did what had to be done." She sat upright, her muzzle pointing in the air, her posture a cloak of poise and authority.
She wore it poorly, Starlight thought.
Twilight sighed, the weight of her actions an almost tangible force, pushing its way from her lips in a slow, wispy stream. "Sending little Cozy Glow there—being one of the four responsible for making the choice which put her there—was one of the most difficult experiences of my life."
The distress on Twilight's face cut Starlight to the bone. The hurt and betrayal inflicted by Cozy Glow had affected so many. "I'm sorry," Starlight murmured. "I didn't realize how upset you've been."
"Thank you." Twilight's face softened. "It's not something I've wanting to talk about. The other princesses and I made our choice and we stand by it."
We. The royalty. Twilight also wore her title poorly.
She continued.
"But is that what this is all about? About us choosing to send Cozy Glow to Tartarus?"
It wasn't—not entirely—but the desire to abandon this painful conversation was becoming an overwhelming force with every word they shared. Going to the spa would be immeasurably more enjoyable than wallowing in this vile, unpleasant business. But Starlight knew it would only errode at her more and more if she didn't address it now.
"Not entirely," she said with a long, tired sigh.
The lavender mare—always a friend first and a princess second—discarded her thin veil of regal poise and returned to Starlight's side once again. The warmth of Twilight's body as it leaned against her was a welcome comfort. Obvious concern was written on the princesses face, and Starlight smiled back from behind troubled eyes.
"Tell me?" Twilight asked, resting a consoling hoof over one of hers.
There was no turning back.
Starlight's eyes grew hot and her throat became dry. After a few failed attempts to force words from her throat, Twilight stroked her hoof. It was calming, and helped her find her voice.
"Twilight," she said, swallowing painfully. "Why… why didn't you—why didn't the princesses—send me to Tartarus?"
The question stunned Twilight into a confused silence. After an unbearable eternity passed, her brow furrowed and her ears pinned back against her head. Her face changed, transforming in painful measures, until it was clear a horrified realization had gripped her. From behind those wide, desperate eyes Twilight gasped, shook her head, and stammered a hasty reply.
"Oh my goodness, no! We would… I would never! You're not like her, Starlight!"
"I'm not?" Starlight said, her voice pinched. Defiance welled up inside her. "What makes me so different?"
"You're a good pony," Twilight said. Her hoof pressed urgently on Starlight's. "Whatever wrongs you've committed have been repaid again and again."
"Princess, I nearly plunged Equestria into a dystopian future with an eternal war being waged against Sombra. Hay, what I did was potentially worse than what Cozy was trying to do!"
"Potentially," Twilight said, fixating on the word with desperation in her voice. "But you didn't. You wouldn't."
Starlight wasn't much of a crier. Never was. But as she felt Twilight's words of comfort wash over her, the tears wanted to come. They begged to be released, but she shoved them down, blinking hard to prevent them from leaking out. "How can you be so sure?"
The young princess's lips trembled ineffectually. When no words would come, she stared between her hooves and wrapped her wings against her body as if to shield herself from the miasma of contention in the room.
Starlight pressed more urgently, her mouth becoming a floodgate, bursting forth with a deluge of scathing thoughts and troubled what-if's.
What if she'd rejected Twilight's offer all that time ago?
What if she'd refused to change?
What if she's just as evil as Cozy for all the things she'd done?
As the troubled mare continued to blurt out one rhetorical question after the next, she rose up and paced frantically around the room, wearing a well-trodden path into the velvety carpet. Twilight watched in mute horror, unable to silence her. Starlight needed to get it all out and was thankful her friend remained quiet to hear her. After what seemed like hours, her venting came to a slow, shuddering stop.
"—I'm afraid, Twilight… I’m afraid that could have been me! I could have gone to Tartarus; I could have turned my back on friendship, our friendship. If a little kid like Cozy could be sent there… then I…"
She shook her head, paling at the thought of being sent to the otherworldly prison, of being surrounded by evil and malice for the rest of her days. It was disturbing enough to imagine a young foal being there, and far worse to see herself there.
But Twilight's rejection of that unwritten and unrealized fate, her unwillingness to yield even an inch to the inner darkness which Starlight feared, was a beacon of hope in a storm. The purity of her faith made her incapable of seeing any trace of evil within Starlight. She refused to see it.
But unlike her, Starlight could see it.
"All it would have taken is that one little thing," she said, her body trembling. And then the tears came. She couldn't stop them. No force in Equestria could have. "If I'd turned my back on you, Twilight. If I said 'no' when you offered me a second chance..."
Her eyes closed tightly, burning. Her lungs shuddered.
"I would be there, just like Cozy…"
She felt like a fraud. Here she was, friend to the bearers of the elements and personal friend to the princess of friendship. She had status, comfort and security. She was living the good life while Cozy rotted in Tartarus. And if Cozy deserved to be there, then surely she did too. It was all so stupid and unfair and crazy. None of it made any sense.
Her entire life made no sense!
But as she wallowed in her despair, a familiar tickling, soft and reassuring, touched Starlight's withers. The feeling shocked her, but she recognized it immediately. With reluctance, Starlight opened her misty eyes. Twilight had returned to her side and blanketed a wing over her back. The princess shed no tears, but her lips were pressed into a thin line, fighting against her own inner turmoil.
Without hesitation, Starlight pressed her head into the crook of Twilight's neck and let out a single sob. The princess's hoof reached around behind her, tracing down her back. A shiver of warm pleasure shook through her tired body.
"You aren't there with her," Twilight assured as she gently stroked. "You'll never be there, Starlight. Because you didn't turn your back on me. Because you aren't like her at all."
Starlight knew her friend was right, but guilt still haunted her. "How can you be sure I’m different? What would you have done if I said no," she asked, wincing at her own tactless insistence.
The princess looked away and sighed. "Please don't make me think about such things!"
"I need to know, Twilight, what would you have done? What if I had said 'no'?"
Twilight hesitated, her silence a dreadful answer. The frown which passed between them said they both knew. The truth of it was laid out, stark and bare, yet Starlight needed to hear it from her friend directly. She implored Twilight with her eyes. She knew the princess would be too honest to not tell her the truth, even if it pained her to admit it. She knew she was being selfish, asking her best friend to do this, but she had to.
And with obvious discomfort, the young princess gave her what she wanted.
"We would have...." Twilight fought to speak, but she didn't dare stop. Their eyes met, locked together, seeking comfort and understanding. Neither mare dared to look away, respecting each other far too much to turn their back now. How Twilight found the courage to speak again was beyond Starlight's comprehension.
But she did, and passed down her honest and pained judgement.
"We would have sent you to Tartarus."
The words struck Starlight like physical blows, winding her. The breath from her lungs was expelled with a racking, painful shudder. Thoughts of being sent to Tartarus, forever alone with the misery and torment she'd bought upon herself, bore down on her with a terrible, crushing weight.
Never before had it ever seemed so real as it did when Twilight spoke those terrible, awful words. To imagine that she'd stood upon a knife's edge on that fateful day, with all her life and livelihood balanced on the utterance of a single word.
"Oh Gods," Starlight cried, wrapping herself in her hooves as the dreadful reality of that day and it's consequences played out in her mind.
Twilight pulled her closer with her wing, holding fast to her, a life preserver in a storm. The two sat this way in the shadows of the pale afternoon light, quietly reflecting on what had been said. It wasn't until Starlight stopped shaking that Twilight risked breaking the uneasy silence with another attempt to console her.
"There's so much good in you Starlight, and I've always seen it there. Why can't you see it too?"
Ignoring the question, Starlight challenged her one last time, "You could see the good in me, but not in her?"
Twilight fell silent.
"Not in her?" Starlight pressed, pulling back from her friend's neck and staring at her with pleading eyes.
"Not in her," Twilight said with tragic, cold finality.
Starlight continued to stare, trying to understand what she was hearing.
The young princess frowned, then dropped her head an inch, her ears doing the same, and spoke in a whispered tone: the voice of secrets which can never be shared. "We tried," she said, looking more miserable than Starlight had ever seen her before. "When we brought her before Tartarus, standing at the gates… the princesses and I… we tried to reason with Cozy."
All Starlight could do was gape at her friend. She'd never heard about any of this. The official news reports said Cozy was taken to Tartarus and summarily sentenced. Nothing more, nothing less. But the agony in Twilight's eyes brooked no disagreement, and Starlight did not question her as she explained.
"She wouldn't listen. Luna was quick to judge her, but I felt there must be some chance to change her... to make her see reason and accept our friendship. We argued and I… I yelled at Princess Luna." Twilight winced in remembrance of the event. "I said she was turning her back on Cozy too easily."
"Bucking hell," Starlight muttered, unable to contain her shock and horror. "You yelled at Luna? The commander of the royal guard and headmistress of the secret service?" She shuddered at the thought of it.
You did not fuck with Princess Luna.
Twilight took a deep, steadying breath and pushed on. "Fortunately, Celestia and Cadence were there to calm us both down. We all came to an agreement about what to do after that."
Starlight leaned forward, her ears twitching erratically as she listened. Seeing this, Twilight managed a coarse, throaty chuckle.
“Don’t worry,” Twilight said, winking at her friend."We made up later, Luna and I."
Relief washed over Starlight and she let out a burning hot breath she'd been holding. After regaining her thoughts, she asked, "What about Cozy? What did you all decide?"
"I begged her," Twilight said. Both her ears pinned back and she shook her head in a slow, somber motion. "I pleaded, but she wouldn't listen."
"But you tried," Starlight pointed out. "What more could anypony ask?"
Twilight's head shook more fervently. "I wanted Luna to be wrong; I wanted to show them that Cozy could come around, but…"
This time it was Starlight's turn to stroke her mentor's hoof, offering her what meager comfort she could. She understood Twilight's pain, because she'd experienced that same disappointment.
"But sometimes they can't be changed," she said, finishing Twilight's thought. Her friend looked up at her and frowned. Then, almost reluctantly, she nodded.
"Yes."
"But you tried," Starlight said, reinforcing her earlier point. "Just as I tried with Queen Chrysalis."
Sudden realization sparked in Twilight's eyes. "That's true, you did, didn't you?"
"It's like you said," Starlight admitted. "Sometimes they can't be changed."
"Even if I wish they could," Twilight agreed.
"And the fact you try so hard... that, Twilight, is why you're worthy of the title 'Princess of Friendship'."
The princess chuckle-snorted and waved a hoof. The return of her smile, the first genuine one since their talk had begun, signaled a return to normalcy between them. "Besides, sometimes," she said, leaning in for a quick, warm nuzzle on Starlights cheek. "Sometimes they do change."
Starlight returned the nuzzle and smiled. Her burdens were lighter on her shoulders. Not gone, but pushed somewhere deep into the recesses of her mind.
A smirk crossed Starlight's lips. "You know what definitely can't be changed?"
The princess cocked her head.
"Work," she said, jerking her head toward the labyrinthian forest of paperwork.
After Twilight followed her gesture and was reminded of the stacks of folders, some of the color left her cheeks. She tossed her head back and groaned.
"Uhg! I really miss spike."
For all her misgivings about being school counselor, Starlight didn't envy her friend's position as headmistress. Not for a second. "You going to be alright?" she asked while giving a longing glance at the door.
"Me?" Twilight asked. She rolled her shoulders. "Don't you worry, I'll finish all this work in no time." To prove her point, the princess grabbed several documents from the endless piles and shuffled them about with magical strings.
The smile she gave looked too strained to Starlight.
"I guess if you're sure," Starlight said, turning to face the door.
Outside the sturdy oak slab of a door was relaxation and pleasure. The spa called to her. Along the way she could grab a bite to eat and put this whole mess behind her, a lighter heart and a brighter smile, Cozy Glow a distant memory.
But as Starlight approached the door, she paused and turned back. Twilight shuffled papers about her in an ever impressive display of administrative prowess. The princess, her friend, always by her side when she sad, feeling depressed and useless, or facing insurmountable struggles.
Who councils the counselors? For her, that was Twilight.
But who helped the helpers? The princess always seemed to be shouldering the mantle of responsibility on her own. She wore it with dignity, but Starlight knew her friend needed help as much as the next pony.
She smiled, and knew precisely how to help the overworked princess.
"Hey Twilight?"
The princess hummed a reply, acknowledging she heard Starlight, while focused on the small vortex of papers flying about her head. Starlight took advantage of her distraction to come sidle up next to her and look over her shoulder.
"I was just thinking I could help you," Starlight said, "And I know just the thing to do."
Twilight's head whipped back. "You do? You know I don't expect you to help out more than you have, you've already done so much this week! And it's really my own responsibility, not yours." She nervously glanced at the paperwork, then chuckled while rubbing her forehooves together. "Of course, I guess I could make an exception this time?"
"I thought you might," Starlight said, flashing a toothy smile.
"So what did you have in mind?" Twilight asked. She gathered the swarm of paperwork buzzing around her and brought it into a neat little line in front of them. "Maybe a spell? One of Maredenkainan's scribing enchantments?"
"Even better."
The disbelieving, violet eyes of Twilight turned into saucer plates. "Better than that? Madness!"
Starlight leaned in closer to her mentor, her smile never faltering. The young princess clapped her hooves together and nearly vibrated off the floor.
"What we do is," Starlight said, then stopped short, falling dramatically silent. Twilight hung on her every word.
A bright flash of cyan burst from Starlight's horn, momentarily mesmerizing Twilight. That is, until she yelped and fell to the floor, her tail gripped in the cyan glow of Starlight's telekinesis.
"Wha?!"
Starlight turned and faced the door leading out of the office and casually marched forward, pausing briefly to open the door. Twilight flailed her hooves as she was dragged across the carpet; the precious folders and papers she'd been holding fell to the ground in a splatter.
Starlight paid this no mind and cheerfully marched through the door. "What we do is, we forget all this work and save it for Monday and we go to spa," she said, stringing along her declaration into a single, unbroken belch of words. Twilight barely had time to register what was happening and watched, helpless, as her paperwork was left behind.
"No!" she gasped, grasping for purchase on the floor with both her hooves. "My paperwork!"
"This is as much for your own good as mine," Starlight tittered.
"My work ethics!"
"Can't you already feel Aloe and Lotus' hooves? It's gonna be great."
Twilight reached toward the door of her office as she was pulled away from it. Then, with a solid clank, the door was shut firmly by a little wave of Starlight's horn.
The paperwork vanished from sight.
Twilight gasped.
"My checklists!"
Starlight chuckled and pulled her friend along. She'd drag the mare kicking and screaming to relax and have fun if she had to. They could put their troubles behind them and deal with them another day. Gone, but not forgotten.
Never forgotten.
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Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? All in all, good story. Honestly, I'd say Cozy deserved exactly what she got and I know I'll get lynched for that by a few, but this fic did deal with the aftermath quite well. In all honesty, I don't think I've seen any fics dealing with what Twilight or Starlight thought about sending Cozy to Tartarus. The only fics I've seen about Cozy are focused on her and her former friends or just crack fics.
9328081
I also haven't noticed any (though I didn't go looking extensively).
Though to be honest, limiting myself to a short fic on this did make me realize that there's probably a lot more untapped potential in this idea that I didn't really touch here due to the size constraint. The subject probably deserves a more thorough fic.
9328098
Actually, I think you handled the subject matter well with the words given to you.
You've got a wonderful concept for a story. However, if you're willing to read on in hopes of improving, you might want to take my advice.
First off, I like how you've characterized Starlight. It reminds me a lot of how I do, very antsy and nervous. It's reflected in the prose. However, this has reminded me of a problem I had with my own story until I realized my errors, and went back and revised the early chapters. A big problem I've noticed throughout this story, is that you have long stretches where you are explaining how Starlight feels emotionally in between lines of dialogue. It, as it had with me, bogs down the pace and makes this a chore to read. Most readers are going to want the plot to move along while they infer what's implied by skillfully written prose.
In other words, they get tired of being guided through every little step of the way. To explain what I mean, take a look at this sequence from a yet-to-be released chapter of my current story, so you can get an idea of how to convey information, emotion, and narrative in a concise manner without bogging down the pacing (just for context, Starlight is in Ponyville Genral, the first time she's ever been in a hospital):
As opposed to pointing out the fact that Starlight is doing this very thing right now, I make it clear in what she's processing as the scene goes on.
Rather than explaining how Starlight feels and getting the audience to understand what I'm trying to say, I let the prose take on Starlight's voice, eyes, and thought process and let the information fed to the reader speak for itself. I feel this is a more effective means of creating a satisfying narrative than going into agonizing detail about every minute thing.
9328243
I agree that story telling is best done while maintaining pacing. And I wasn't thrilled with the pacing of this story.
Also, I really appreciate getting critical feedback. That said...
Inner narration/character thoughts are as much a part of a story as dialogue and action, so I'm not sure how much of that I would want to throw away. In fact, I used action beats throughout the story to give slight nods to character feelings without narration. Maybe I could have used more of that?
So what I'd say is the balance of narration/dialogue/action is maybe skewed a bit. Part of that is stylistic (I tend to emphasize narration), part of it is bad pacing. If you disagree, I'd like to read an article or something that talks about whatever it is you want to emphasize. Or you could tell me in a PM.
As for the clip you showed you me, it's is well written, but I'm not sure it really shows off what you mean. It has two sizable paragraphs at the beginning and end that are purely narration. They don't focus much on what Starlight feels, but its still narration and it sandwiches dialogue. The parts in-between are a mix of dialogue and action beats with a sprinkling of observations from the PoV character interpreting Redheart's actions. I assume that part by itself is what you're focusing on?
Minor issue: "Nurse Redheart giggled into her hoof. Judging the foal before her." period instead of comma I presume.
Anyway if you have more to say about this I'd be glad to get a PM from you if you wanna talk about it some more. At the moment I'm not completely sure I know what message you're trying to convey.
Rei I've already shared most my thoughts on this story with you directly, but just to share with the class:
I think challenging yourself to do more with fewer words is admirable: it shows how you're willing to get uncomfortable with your writing in order to improve!
I thought you dealt with some very interesting issues that most fics and canon dance around: the nature of evil in Equestria. Starlight's fears, and Twilight's reticence to open up on the subject suggest a deeper, darker process for the nature of evil, how the princesses determine its level of corruption, and how they dole out justice.
You could have dived into a deep pool looking at the nature of a demi-Goddess's torment in peeling back the veneer of a pony's soul, but you stayed true to your challenge and made for a lovely fix with a complete story idea: (that of Twilight bearing/healing her friend's anxiety while continuing to shoulder her own).
Bravo!
Chrysalis hesitated.
9329761
The fact that she did makes me think there is hope for her.
9329783
9329761
Very possible that Chrysi could come around maybe.
But In my estimation, Starlight would see it as a loss. in many ways, Starlight probably sees herself and Chrysi as being similar. The main difference is that Starlight took the leap of faith to become 'good' while Chrysi turned away from it, hesitation or not.
But Starlight also doubts herself, so I imagine she might take Chrysi's refusal very personally. She might see herself in Chrysi, and seeing her turn away like that could be a reminder of her own weakness and inner 'evil'.
Put another way, Starlight doubts Chrysi's ability to change because she doubts her own change.
In the end, there is never going to be a decent justification for the Tartarus Cozy debacle. No amount of mental gymnastics can fix it when a simple room with barred windows and a door that locks from the outside would be enough to contain her.
Nice try, though, and I don't mean that sarcastically.
9329961
That's okay. It wasn't really my intention to fix someone else's bad writing, only to play with the resultant chaos a bit. You'll note that I didn't really delve into the 'why' of the situation that much, from Twilight's perspective. That was a conscious choice.
What would I say?
Unless, that is, I made up something. But the story isn't really about Cozy or Tartarus – not directly. It's about Starlight.
Poor humans.
Well, she would need to catch her first. One of them killed in action seems to be more likely outcome.
9330128
So here is what I was thinking while writing this:
Realistically, Starlight probably would have been imprisoned either way for what she did. Or killed, or something other than what we got. She was redeemed instead, because 'kids show'.
So in that regard, Twilight knew what Starlight really wanted to hear: that given the same circumstances, is what she did just as bad as what Cozy was doing. After all, if Cozy deserved to be in Tartarus, than she worries that she should be there too, regardless of whether she was 'redeemed' and given a second chance.
So the important detail I was (trying) to convey is that Starlight doubts herself. She doubts that she should have been given a second chance when (presumably) Cozy wasn't -- she later learned that there was more to Cozy's imprisonment than was let on. And I purposefully had Twilight be vague about why she insist that Cozy is 'evil'.
Anyway the point is that the specifics weren't the focus, but rather how Starlight interprets the situation with regards to herself.
I haven’t seen the S8 finale yet, but standing on its own this was immensely enjoyable.
(I also sometimes read novels backwards. Just roll with it.)
Having read this, I am certainly intrigued at the prospect of CG’s ultimate actions. (Thus far I’ve watched 12 episodes, and liked three of them.) We may honestly be looking at a season where the best things to come out of it are the discussions within the fandom, especially in the form of fanfics. And I think this story and others like it will be key in those discussions.
Meanwhile, apropos of nothing whatsoever...
Oh, man, I laughed so hard at that! That was beautiful.
Anyway. From what I have read of your comments, I gather this story was something of an experiment. I would ask you to consider it a successful one.
I love stories that properly address the tough question of realistic consequences. Congrats on the feature, you earned it.
Something just occurred to me though: is it me, or is CG's name not at all related to her mark or talent?
9330558
It makes me very pleased that someone caught that reference.
S8 was.. okay, imo. Not great. Had some good episodes. The finale was... meh.
And yeah, it was kind of experimental to see how short and succinct a story I could write. Normally I'm kind of verbose and plodding, so I was trying to be more brief. Glad something good came out of it for a lot of you.
9330643
Doesn't seem to relate to her CM, no. But since her CM is a rook, a piece from chess, it might represent her being strategically minded. Perhaps she sees all others like pieces on a chess board. You might expect to see her CM be a King or Queen piece, but that's a bit too on the nose.
Or anyways that's what I would go with.
Eh. I still don't like the outcome, even if I agree in principle that there are people who we can't or haven't the faintest idea how to help.
By that measure Luna should have been sent to Tartarus for nearly damning Equestria to eternal night (and probably eternal cold and a severe loss of life). And Discord should have been promptly sealed back up in stone. Just imagine what could have happened if Trixie hadn't been gullible enough to be tricked into taking the Alicorn Amulet off.
Cozy Glow failed at friendship for sure, but nearly every denizen in Equestria seems to get a billion second chances unless the plot disfavors them and then they just get sent to Tartarus to get the mess out of everyone's hair. Also if it weren't for Twilight's school and it's bizarre stockpile of artifacts and things to find out plus whoever somehow couried contact between Cozy and Tirek...
9331658
I didn't really touch much on the details of why Cozy should be deserving of being sent to Tartarus. Wasn't really my focus.
I don't disagree with anything you're saying. *Realistically* it makes no sense that some characters get redemption arcs while others don't, and what criteria must be met to decide one over the other. That's why I didn't really address it in the fic. I'm not trying to fix the shows writing and story telling.
That said, I could probably fabricate a reason, but it would have to be a totally made up reason. A completely fabricated story. That's what it would take to 'fix' the situation.
I love that ending, I can really picture Starlight doing that
As to add something into the bowl, maybe the reason why Cozy is sent to Tartarus is simply because of her connection to Tirek? The whole Equestria remembers how Tirek brought great danger, even Twilight with all the princess's power can't beat him convincingly. Somepony connected to a dangerous creature like that would naturally be a target for concern. But the bombshell is Cozy repeated what Tirek did. That, presumably, made everypony think she's just as dangerous as Tirek, as a foal or not, and felt she must be dealt with the same way as Tirek.
Also, Starlight's time travel fiasco is only directed at Twilight (Or at least the mane six only), not the entire world. I don't know if it's proven or not, but Starlight might not know that her actions brings danger to the entire Equestria, and it's very possible to be not her aim at all. It's a personal vendetta, not a plan to screw every living creature like Tirek and Cozy did. Plus, Twilight knows the reason Starlight did what she did, and it came from a tragic background. We don't know what Cozy's past is like, but I doubt 'taking the power of friendship to bring down Equestria' can come from a tragic past.
But, if you don't want further discussions about this since plenty of people had done so, feel free to tell me.
9331971
Well, I'll mimic what I said there: the focus of the story was Starlight's feelings and personal doubts. The whole Cozy Glow and Tartarus thing was more like a backdrop which gave me an interesting way to tackle the subject.
That said, I think there could be some interesting reasons for Cozy's incarceration in Tartarus. There could be many. Links to Tirek could reasonably be one of them! Who knows. The problem is that the the finale did basically nothing to justify any of that. She's just kind of.. sent there... For reasons.
As for Starlight, whether anyone thinks she's deserving of her redemption arc or not has always been a debated topic. Was what she did really so bad? How evil was she really? I'm not completely sure, honestly. Part of me says that, if I'm aiming for realism, it makes sense a mare as magically inclined and smart as Starlight should have known that her actions would have an effect on the rest of the world. But even if she didn't, she still subjugated an entire village and tried to personally destroy Twilight.
Imagine if someone tried to personally destroy Celestia or Luna. Or Cadence. The punishment would be pretty harsh. Twilight *is* a princess.
But, as always, my main focus was less on the actual severity of what Starlight did, and more about how Starlight feels about what she did. Even if her actions weren't worthy of being sent to Tartarus, she could still think she belongs there, even if no one else thinks that way. That feeling is the core of what this fic was trying to exploit. Starlight's doubt in herself. Coming to grips with the consequences she'd narrowly avoided.
And there's a lot of stuff I didn't even touch on that I could have. I didn't, cus this fic was meant to be short.
Confronted with the realisation that her plan would mean doom for all of Equestria, Starlight Glimmer turned her back on her scheme and surrendered herself to Twilight Sparkle for judgement. Confronted with the realisation that her plan would mean doom for all of Equestria, Cosy Glow doubled down and, when defeated, tried to escape to try again. That was the big difference and what made Cosy Glow a monster when Starlight Glimmer was not.
9330643
Not all ponies have names related to their cutie mark or special talent. Like Babs Seed for example.
9332092
Considering Starlight had no idea who the Wonderbolts were, I could easily see her being ignorant about what the Mane 6 accomplished. Especially since we have seen time and time again, lots of ponies not even knowing who the Elements are,
Liked for the cover art.
Ear Floof.
HEAL THY BUR GERS btw
I believe that anyone can be changed. The problem is that the person has to want to change. Luna wanted to change from being Nightmare Moon, Discord wanted to change from being the lonely Spirit of Chaos to what he is now, and so too did Starlight want to change. Sombra, Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow did not want to change so they could not be swayed from their paths. Maybe one day they will want too, but more than likely they'll be the way they are till their final days.
9332092
Eh, she's not a princess princess.
9332092
Well, that's why you wrote that Twilight begging Cozy to change, right? Cause the finale didn't address the reason clearly. But honestly, I can't see that as a flaw, it only opens the possibilities for writers like us to find a legit reason
9333159
It does present opportunities. I kind of prefer when the show does the heavy lifting though. I feel like that isn't the case this time. Too many unanswered questions.
9333146
The other princesses call her a princess. She's an alicorn. So I think by their own weird, wacky governmental rules that counts enough for being a princess.
9332677
Even if Starlight had a reason to believe that Twilight wasn't 'important' to the timeline, what she did was still clearly dangerous and unpredictable, as any time travel would be. There are always going to be consequences you can't predict. Starlight's insistence that Twilight and her friends weren't 'that important to the timeline' were just excuses on her part to justify her vendetta.
And again, that vendetta was against a princess, so.. I don't think it would be easily forgiven.
I still don't agree that there was any good excuse for the show writers to have them send a CHILD to Tartarus, the worst prison in all of Equestria. (Of course, I also object strongly to the hideous living conditions they portrayed - confining creatures to a cage they can barely move in is literally a kind of psychological torture.) But I like the message you were going for here. It makes sense that Starlight would have such fears, and I'm glad you wrote her finding some comfort.
9333642
As I've mentioned down below, I didn't really want to tackle the 'why' of Cozy being sent to Tartarus. I skimmed over it here, which is probably why whatever I wrote might seem 'unconvincing'. I wasn't really trying to justify it. Just working with what they gave. The story's not really about that; it's about Starlight.
Any reason I could come up with to explain Cozy being in Tartarus would be entirely made up. And I'd have to make up something pretty serious to justify it, but I also didn't want to detract from the story I wanted to tell by diving into it extensively.
That said, Starlight's feelings on the matter are similar to my own. None of it makes all that much sense and seems absurd.
9333724
Oh, quite fair, and I honestly didn't think you WERE trying to justify them sending Cozy to Tartarus. That was more me feeling the need to state how much I disagree with the show. I think you did a good job with the subject matter, especially considering its touchy nature.
Just a little bit too much of a gay vibe between them for me, but still a well done story.
This is a work of art. Seriously, the drescriptiveness and time put into this is exceptional. I respect the perspective gave from you on the story, and I feel like you embodied the characters within the story excellently. Twilight's still a book worm, Starlight is still a quirky, unsure character, and Spike is still a lazy, half-awake boy. That, and telling the way the students smiled was true in many ways. It's all out of respect. I can relate entirely, and do see that this is a good story. Minimalizing the swears to draw serious emotion was pretty good, not over using other adjectives, and keeping the story sort of darkened by the acts of Cozy Glow. Overall, this is just hella good, for lack of better words. I enjoyed this, and, as you have said earlier (the author), "there's probably a lot of untapped potential," which is completely true. You could make a whole story out of this if you really wanted, continuing with the aftermath of Cozy's world domination attempt. A whole adventure, just waiting to be typed.
9333218
This is where it gets iffy though. The only way Starlight would know about time travel is from over hearing them say that Twilight used it (You could see that she was there when they brought it up.) So she could have assumed it wasn't dangerous if Twilight saw nothing wrong with using it. Ane since she would have had a bad opinion about Twilight at that point, figuring Twilight was in the wrong, she would probaly assume if that 'incompetant' alicorn can do it with no trouble, it should be a breeze for her.
9334540
Maybe. Possibly. But like I said before, even if you give the time travel thing a pass for its ability to screw up the past in unexpected ways, Starlight still tried to destroy the friendships of of the main cast members, including Twilight, princess Twilight.
I'll stand by the idea that attacking a princess is probably Tartarus-worthy. And keep in mind that in the canon of the show, friendship is a big deal. It's a cornerstone of their culture, taps into the potential of their magic, it's a tool of offense and defense, etc.. It's critical to their society. So going back in time to destroy the princess's friendships is kind of a big deal. Big enough of a deal that Celestia groomed Twilight into making friendships as the major plot point that started the series. And it's not only Twilight, it's also the others. They would be affected too.
You'd almost expect them to consider something like financial ruin, destroying personal property, all those sorts of things as inconsequential compared to destroying a friendship. Destroying a friendship is pretty damn evil. And the fact Starlight wasn't aware of how important Twilight and her friends are to the timeline is an excuse that only goes so far. If she truly wasn't aware of all the good they had done for Equestria, it would have to be from willing ignorance. It's not like it's a big secret. At best she was guilty of ignorance, at worst the writers were lazy and it makes no sense she wouldn't know.
Lastly, even if we wanted to give Starlight a pass, the simple fact remains that ignorance is rarely a passable excuse in the eyes of the law. If you do something that causes widespread destruction out of your own stupidity and ignorance, you're still going to face huge consequences if you get caught. The law might go slightly softer on you if your ignorance could be proved, but if you caused death and destruction and the ruination of the government, I don't think it would be very favorable for you.
Plus, think about it from the perspective of Twilight, back at that point in the past. Starlight said she didn't realize how important Twi was to the timeline, but she could have been lying. If she'd also rejected Twi's offer of redemption and friendship and was forced to subdue Starlight, do you think they would still have believed her story? Would Celestia, Luna and Cadence be as forgiving of a pony who subjugated an entire town, used magic to steal cutie marks (another hugely important part of their society), and then used forbidden time magic to try and sabotage the princess of friendship?
Yeah. She's lucky the writers enjoy redemption arcs.
9334453
I appreciate that you liked it that much.
I have trouble seeing in quite the same, glowing light, but I'll definitely agree on the potential.
9335039
But you also got to consider the fact that from Starlights perspective, Twilight destoyed her friendships with the ponies of her village. An act you just said was pretty damn evil. Remember, it works both ways. So she would have felt justified in returning the favor. With the added bonus of removing a, from Starlights perspective, corrupt leader.
9335165
Well now you're getting into issues of moral subjectivism. From Starlight's perspective, perhaps she saw things that way, but the majority of society wouldn't likely have seen it that way. Furthermore, Starlight's actions were willful and premeditated, Twilight's were not. Not to mention that Starlight's 'friendships' in the village were based on lies and deceit and weren't really friendships at all. As evidenced by the fact the villagers turned on her once they learned to the truth. Everything bad that happened to Starlight was of her own making. Twilight didn't 'take away' her friendships, Starlight lost them all on her own. In fact, she arguably never had them in the first place.
There are leagues of difference between the actions of these two characters. They aren't really comparable. You'd need to be doing a lot of mental gymnastics to excuse Starlight's behavior or make direct comparisons to Twilight that way.
But even if we say Starlight did see everything that way; that she thought she was the hero and Twilight was the villain (which I don't buy), doesn't mean she was right. Not from the perspective of pony society, nor from the perspective of the narrative.
Also if we're going to keep talking about this we should probably move to PM's or something.
Thank you for writing this beautiful story.
You've done a great job with the purple ponies' characterizations.
Delving into the nuances of their complex friendship is something I will always appreciate.
Especially when it involves them comforting one another.
9338727
Thanks. I've always been a fan of Twi and glimglam.
But there IS a difference. Starlight's an ADULT who understands consequences. Cozy is a CHILD who has no ability to do full moral reasoning. Sending her to Tartarus WAS despicable when an ordinary prison and intensive counseling would have had the chance to reach her.