Monochrome Promise

by Unknown-Brony

The Dark Forest

When I left the hospital, I was blinded by the sun that just rose. Using my hoof, I tried to cover it.
It seemed that I stood in the hospital for a whole day.
I was finally able to study the situation I was stuck in.
While I was walking on a road that seemed to go to a city, my mind was filled by questions.
Who am I? My name is Rufus; at least until I find out my true identity. What am I? I am a pony. A pegasus. Where am I? I think I heard something about Equestria. Well... I'm in the worst situation possible. So I am in an unknown place. I can live with that. I am a pony. My brain is trying to tell me something about this, but I don't know what. And... I couldn't remember anything!
While thinking about that things, I realized that I had to go on a quest to find out who I am. Only one problem... I was a pegasus. That was pretty awesome but... I couldn't fly. How was I supposed to blend in as a pegasus if I couldn't fly.
After I found a sort of answer for my question, I cleared my mind and I started looking around. Not too far from the road, there was a forest. The kind of black, dark forest that only crazy people would visit. It was the perfect place to practice flying.
I left the road and I started walking in the forest's direction.
When I came nearby, I felt like a chill passing through my body. Something was going on in that forest. But I had no time. I was too stubborn to admit that I was a little afraid of the forest, so I rushed in without thinking about the consequences that may occur.
After a while, I stopped running. I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by black trees. I was feeling like... it was like the forest was emanating feelings of pure horror and fear; I felt like I turned to stone, and after that I started seeing some animals.
"Kill them all..."
"Why... why sh... should I k... k... kill them?" I asked stuttering.
'Kill them..." the voice told me again.
"N-n-n-no..." I said again, this time with more courage.
"KILL THEM!" the voice yelled at me.
Without realizing, I picked up the closest stone.
"Please. Don't make me do this."
"Kill them..." the voice told me again.
I completely lost control of my body. After I picked up the rock, I started walking towards a defensless little white rabbit.
"Now... KILL IT!" the voice yelled in my head.
"I'm sorry..." and while tears were flowing on my face, I threw the stone.
"Where are you Angel?" a voice came from the bushes.
"Angel? Nooo!" and a yellow pegasus came running from the bushes.
At that moment I fell on my knees.
"What have I done?"
From what I could see, the bunny was seriously injured. He was coughing blood.
"How? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" the pegasus yelled at me.
"Kill her..." the voice came back in my head.
"NO! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME.... ALONE!" I screamed.
And I fainted.
After a while I woke up.
"Where am I?""I asked myself.
I looked around. I was again in the hospital I barely managed to get to initially. But this time the yellow pony was standing with on a chair next to my bed. She wasn't looking at me.
When I took a peak, I saw Angel, the rabbit.
"I have good news. He will live. I'm quite surprised that he could handle this kind of operation."
I recognized the voice. It was the nurse that looked after me when I ended up initially in this hospital.
"My Angel is a fighter." the yellow pony said.
"As for Rufus over here," and the nurse pointed to me, "I already knew that he was a fighter. We still don't know what happened to him, but I can tell you this: when he first came here, he had a very deep wound. He was lucky to stay alive after so much time. He walked a long way with that wound."
"So… he came here earlier?"
"Oooh yes. Yesterday."
After they ended their dialogue, I yawned.
"Well hello there sleepy head." the nurse said.
"Where am I?"
"Well you can say that you're revisiting a familiar place."
The nurse was trying to cheer me up, and as a response, I smiled.
"Ok. So, now that both of our patients came back to their senses, you can leave."
"Thank you nurse." the yellow pony said while taking Angel in her hooves.
"Now you must come to sign some papers and after that you can leave."
Me, and the yellow pegasus carrying the bunny followed the nurse to the front desk.
After the other pegasus signed the papers, the nurse asked the yellow pony:
"Could you please watch over Rufus? He's the red pegasus behind you. He has no parents or relatives nearby and you're the most carrying person I know. I ask you this not as a nurse, but as a friend."
"Ok."
After they finished talking, the nurse turned to me and told me:
"You're going to go with Fluttershy here. She saved you from the Everfree Forest, so you should be grateful."
When I heard that, I was stunned. After I almost killed her bunny, she saved me from going mad.
"Th-th-thank you, Fluttershy." I told the pony stuttering.
Without answering me or even watching me in the eyes we left the hospital.
I knew that she was angry inside, but she was too… happy that her bunny was still alive to shout at me.
"I'm sorry. I was…" but then she turned her face to me.
"YOU! YOU! How could you go in the Forbidden Forest? The Dark Parts of the Everfree Forest were forbidden by Princess Celestia! No one is allowed to go there."
I was quite surprised by her answer. I was a murderer. But she was more concerned about me going in there rather than shouting at me for almost killing her bunny.
"How do you feel now?" she asked me.
"Well… better I guess."
"I'm the guardian of the Everfree Forest. Princess Celestia chose me because I love animals. But that doesn't matter. I have to take care of you, to make sure that the maisma won't take over."

Comments

[MyLittlePwny]

Again, you need paragraphs. Plus it seems like the whole story is comprised of multiple, staccato sentences. Its almost. As if. A robot. Is writing. The story. Also, there were multiple contradictions in this chapter, nopony was allowed in the forest... yet Fluttershy was there...? Not to mention that the nurse dumped a murderer on Fluttershy, who didn't even bat an eye at the decision. Fluttershy was very bi-polar too, after her outburst at Rufus she went back to her usual caring self.