From reading, I can attest to, at the very least, the downvotes are not a result of bad writing. Due to the nature of the fetishes involved, you're of course going to get people leaving downvotes due to that aspect alone. I, however, am not one of them.
I'd also suggest using the [h.r] function to separate the story synopsis from the details/fetishes. But besides that, I'd like to read more of this story. It's hot, and satisfied a few kinks of mine I haven't truly been able to do myself. If you're adding more fetishes, I suppose I'd like some delve into gay stuff, but hey, I realise that's not everybody's cup of tea. Anywho, thanks for the read. Keep doing what it is you're doing. Also, getting an editor/proofreader helps a ton in teaching you grammar and whatnot (not that I saw any major problems whilst reading)
Edit: Wow, first story published and it's featured. Well done.
I'm definitely going to take a glance at this story at a later time, but I am curious as to what other potential kinks could be worked into it with an idea like this.
I'm liking it. Perhaps Button could "refresh" the town regularly, adventuring into new fetishes every time? One month, everyone else is part of a hivemind of drones. Another, they're all goody-two shoes and hard to get, but really go wild once convinced to break their ways. Another time, everyone has switched roles or personalities (Rarity is the school teacher, Button's mom is the baker, Nurse Redheart is a cop. That sort of thing). Just a thought, no obligation to even humor me.
Button Mash got bored of this within two weeks? I'd understand if maybe a few months had passed or even years, but he hasn't even moved out of his mediocre home in exchange for a castle yet so he's obviously only been scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of ideas. Hopefully he's gonna do things right this time rather than just running around fucking everything in sight without a thought.
Awesome, though I hope future chapters put a bit more detail into events. That's the one thing, I would have liked to see how things worked up to that point with him working up the guts to do more and more blatant things until he just enslaved the town for a few chapters.
An interesting premise and few typos, but I feel that more could have been done about the half way point. Button's initial awkwardness was a nice bit of realism, but I you should have stayed on that gradual path instead of doing the time skip. It would have been more interesting to see his progression into tyranny, showing his moral constraints and how they are gradually eroded by the feelings of power. For instance, he'd have to start off sneaky and subtle, mind controlling mares in back allies and such. Eventually he'd get bolder, realizing stallions might interfere in his plans, meaning they'd have to be controlled too. I can see him going into a house after commanding a mare to drug all the food, and then taking control of all present to accept everything he does. That ending pretty much says it all. It's boring if there's no effort. Just my 2 cents.
9324295 Yeah but we’ve seen all that stuff before. It’s either never finished or poorly done. I personally like the fact that were just skipping over all of it and getting right to the part where Button realizes how boring it all is.
Not that I don’t see where you're coming from, I like the idea of a story about a mind controller getting slowly corrupted by their power and realizing the moral consequences of what they’ve done, but we’ve already seen that on this site and it was done badly. Plus we already know that there would be no tension in that kind of story anyway because it’s always the same. Mind controller gets found out or is put under suspicion, they deal with the problem, everything’s okay. it’s boring.
till now this is a really nice story. But it is a shame that you jumped the part i liked the most ^^ why not writing how his mom sucked him the first time? i really liked his clumsy first tries with trixi and would have liked to read more about that :)
I'm hoping to see how many mares get pregnant and the fun during said pregnancy. Wonder if button even realises he is going to be the father of a whole generation for Ponyville
And just like that, the game of Button Mash's life started again. This is so good! Him treating this like a big video game is the awesome part for me. Wonder how far he'll go with this thing.
9321448 Well also this is a pure powerfantasy and for many people those are a big no-no. However I agree that of all power fantasies this one is one of the best written.
But what about the consequences of this first 'game'?? After all, I'd be willing to bet that at least SOME of his 'characters' have gotten pregnant by now and will have no memory or inkling of who the father is.
More Please
From reading, I can attest to, at the very least, the downvotes are not a result of bad writing. Due to the nature of the fetishes involved, you're of course going to get people leaving downvotes due to that aspect alone. I, however, am not one of them.
I'd also suggest using the [h.r] function to separate the story synopsis from the details/fetishes. But besides that, I'd like to read more of this story. It's hot, and satisfied a few kinks of mine I haven't truly been able to do myself. If you're adding more fetishes, I suppose I'd like some delve into gay stuff, but hey, I realise that's not everybody's cup of tea. Anywho, thanks for the read. Keep doing what it is you're doing. Also, getting an editor/proofreader helps a ton in teaching you grammar and whatnot (not that I saw any major problems whilst reading)
Edit: Wow, first story published and it's featured. Well done.
I'm definitely going to take a glance at this story at a later time, but I am curious as to what other potential kinks could be worked into it with an idea like this.
Oooooh this is going to be goooooood
I've read this hentai before. Kings app if I remember correctly
I'm liking it. Perhaps Button could "refresh" the town regularly, adventuring into new fetishes every time?
One month, everyone else is part of a hivemind of drones. Another, they're all goody-two shoes and hard to get, but really go wild once convinced to break their ways. Another time, everyone has switched roles or personalities (Rarity is the school teacher, Button's mom is the baker, Nurse Redheart is a cop. That sort of thing). Just a thought, no obligation to even humor me.
This story fucking rules
nice job getting your first story featured, I've been writing for a bit and have yet to get any of mine featured. Well done!
Button Mash got bored of this within two weeks? I'd understand if maybe a few months had passed or even years, but he hasn't even moved out of his mediocre home in exchange for a castle yet so he's obviously only been scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of ideas. Hopefully he's gonna do things right this time rather than just running around fucking everything in sight without a thought.
The bestiality DEFINITELY sounds fun.
Anime...
Thats an awesome story
I know button will start over but i'm pretty curious on how he will aproach the situation
Anyone else kinda sad we didn't get to see the beginning of his escapades?
Awesome, though I hope future chapters put a bit more detail into events. That's the one thing, I would have liked to see how things worked up to that point with him working up the guts to do more and more blatant things until he just enslaved the town for a few chapters.
Read a bit and already like it. Hope more comes
An interesting premise and few typos, but I feel that more could have been done about the half way point. Button's initial awkwardness was a nice bit of realism, but I you should have stayed on that gradual path instead of doing the time skip. It would have been more interesting to see his progression into tyranny, showing his moral constraints and how they are gradually eroded by the feelings of power. For instance, he'd have to start off sneaky and subtle, mind controlling mares in back allies and such. Eventually he'd get bolder, realizing stallions might interfere in his plans, meaning they'd have to be controlled too. I can see him going into a house after commanding a mare to drug all the food, and then taking control of all present to accept everything he does. That ending pretty much says it all. It's boring if there's no effort. Just my 2 cents.
Only a small mention of beastly fun? I think there should be more. I think that should be part of Button's game.
Pretty good story, would be a bit better with more 2 it but still good
9324295
Yeah but we’ve seen all that stuff before. It’s either never finished or poorly done. I personally like the fact that were just skipping over all of it and getting right to the part where Button realizes how boring it all is.
Not that I don’t see where you're coming from, I like the idea of a story about a mind controller getting slowly corrupted by their power and realizing the moral consequences of what they’ve done, but we’ve already seen that on this site and it was done badly. Plus we already know that there would be no tension in that kind of story anyway because it’s always the same. Mind controller gets found out or is put under suspicion, they deal with the problem, everything’s okay. it’s boring.
till now this is a really nice story.
But it is a shame that you jumped the part i liked the most ^^ why not writing how his mom sucked him the first time? i really liked his clumsy first tries with trixi and would have liked to read more about that :)
So this is it.
i expected him to rut celestia as well, but what the hay, he has a harem now.
why didnt you include the others. like twilght or pinkie i bet they would have made this story more interesting.
I'll quote James Hetfield here.
"Right now and ever after : need more and more!"
Is that supposed to be a ponyfied Gameboy Advance or something?
9325183
agreed, although a flashback to his first few ruts would be nice
I'm hoping to see how many mares get pregnant and the fun during said pregnancy. Wonder if button even realises he is going to be the father of a whole generation for Ponyville
Nice story so far, I will be keeping an eye out on it, keep it up.
Goood. Goood. Let the power flow through you.
And just like that, the game of Button Mash's life started again. This is so good! Him treating this like a big video game is the awesome part for me. Wonder how far he'll go with this thing.
9321448
Well also this is a pure powerfantasy and for many people those are a big no-no.
However I agree that of all power fantasies this one is one of the best written.
I just started reading this and I can already tell it’s gonna be a good story. And might I recommend a chapter that is like a glimpse into the future?
But what about the consequences of this first 'game'?? After all, I'd be willing to bet that at least SOME of his 'characters' have gotten pregnant by now and will have no memory or inkling of who the father is.