E

It is astounding what one can accomplish over breakfast. Breaking the laws of reality wasn't quite what Rainbow Dash had in mind during this particular brunch. She wasn't really in the mood for a lecture on the matter, either, but Twilight was eager to provide one.

Warning for chaos, breakfast foods, and the general nonsense that comes with writing absolute madness.

Thank you to Cynewulf and Axolu for taking my silliness seriously. Very seriously.

Featured on 11/27! Thank you all so much!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 36 )

Delightfully devilish delicious, Silent, and very silly!

I..... this.... what..... how... why....... Brain.exe has stopped working.

And yet, this was so gloriously bizarre!

Is it wrong that i want to know exactly what the teabags did to rarity that dash didnt want the memory of it.

:rainbowderp:

Ladies and gentlemen, Lewis Carroll officially has competition.

[Insert Jeff Goldblum reference here]

Meh, I've seen weirder

Never trust a teabag.

Little buckers stealth ya every time.

I have no words.

This was a fantastic story! Also, was this how food ponies like pizzaponey came to be?

“Well, the nature of magic isn’t to increase the same amount of what’s probable. It’s very existence is in defiance of the laws of nature!” Tenderly, like a mother bird keeping her chicks from toppling out of the nest to a very Polluck-y end, Twilight scooped up the fried eggs and held them close to her fluffy chest. She beamed at them proudly as they quivered against her. “Why, you could even say that magic exists to redefine what’s possible!”

THAUMA REALITY FIELD STRINGS

The waffle had dissolved into sprinkles when Rainbow wasn’t looking. That was, by far, the least of her concerns. “So, you want magic to be crazy like this all the time? Just for science? Twilight, geez, that’s awful! Other ponies could get really hurt! Look at what this is doing to Rarity!”

HELLO DOCTOR TWILIGHT , YOU NEED CONSULT WITH DISCORD HE IS THE SAFEST PERSON IN CHAOSLOLOGY

Twilight looked down. Rarity and her teabag harem were starting a family, and raising her half-teabag offspring. One of them was named after Twilight. Or, mostly after her. Teabag Sparkle raised its glassy eyes up at Twilight, and she never felt so proud. This was her adopted grandteabagthing. This was her legacy . “I don’t see what’s so wrong with it,” Twilight whispered in awe, waving down at the teabag filly. It waved back, full of lavender and peppermint goodness.

AND MINE LEGASY IS NOW 5 BOOKS DIARY AND REASEARCH . I COULD
GLADLY BE THE SECOND ASSISTANT FOR SCIENCE AND RESEARCH CHEERS

Rainbow Dash wasn’t impressed. “Twilight, it’s unnatural. And yeah, you said that was the point, but still, this is crazy! You’re partially made of bacon, Rarity had beverage spawn, and I think the tribal warfare between the forks and the spoons below is developing into a religious crusade. When you said you had something you wanted to show both of us, I thought it would be something boring, like official Princess stuff, or at the very least some news that wouldn’t literally wreck our lives!”

i do not care it is useful , unless if yu want SCP label

SO WORLD CHANGING SCENARIO

Rainbow Dash wasn’t impressed. “Twilight, it’s unnatural. And yeah, you said that was the point, but still, this is crazy! You’re partially made of bacon, Rarity had beverage spawn, and I think the tribal warfare between the forks and the spoons below is developing into a religious crusade. When you said you had something you wanted to show both of us, I thought it would be something boring, like official Princess stuff, or at the very least some news that wouldn’t literally wreck our lives!”

For the first time, Twilight perked up a bit. “I know, but-”

tWILIGHT INN SOME UNIVERSE ES DID IT INCLUDING THE MAGIC OBSESSED SCIENCE TWILIGHT WANTED TO KNOW MORE NO RESTRICTIONS , SHE BROKE THE REALITY . IF YOU WANT THIS I WOULD GLADLY SHARE MY KNOLEGE , FOR SCIENCE , BUT We should acor together not to destroy the reality

“Not with you two, of course,” agreed Twilight, daintily cutting up a waffle. “If I ever do repeat that, I’d make sure everypony was okay with it. Discord did have a point, though,” she added, giving Rarity a sideways glance. “Sometimes the impossible can produce quite interesting results. Would you like some more tea, Rarity?”

TWILIGHT I LOVE YOU , FOR SCIENCE , YOUR SCIENCE MAKES ME TO TREMBLE , THAT IS MY FIELD OF CURIOSITY

I'm speechless.

This was very interesting, and really good.

im not sure if this is a masterpiece of madness or just my sanity having been broken by reading it but you can have my like for this though i have been left with a serious case of the "what the fucks" now.

I was ok with this story until Rarity started teabagging. Then it got weird.

:raritywink:

NO! NOT SPIDER-WAFFLE!

This was just fantastic! Very fun to read. Good time had by all.

Gonna go make some tea real quick.

Well, I couldn’t really wish for anything else when I clicked on a story with the tags ‘Random’ and ‘Comedy’, now could I? :pinkiecrazy:

I’d say the only explanation is that if you mess with the laws of thermodynamics, nothing is going to happen, as long as you don’t try to explain what just happened. A really well written story, almost felt like something by Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams at times. Thank you for this enlightening read! :pinkiehappy:

PS: Now I really want to see how a teabag-pony crossbreed might look like. And also, what happens when it takes a bath?

9385036
That's the exact vibe I was going for with this story, so I'm flattered! Thank you!

9385838
You are welcome! Is there any other story of yours you’d recommend? :twilightsmile:

9386092
Depends on what you're looking for! What do you like to read? I've written a lot of short anc sweet oneshots.

9386128
Well, could be anything short and sweet or funny, but I also have a thing for darker stories filled with mysteries and/or action. So, almost anything :twilightsmile:

9386147
I have a lot of sweet stories! If you're just into heartwarming, you can try this one:

EOne Letter At A Time
Somepony's been sending encouraging notes to everypony. There's no signature, no address, and no hint as to who could be behind all this. Who would do such a thing, and how in Equestria do they know exactly what everypony needs to hear?
Silent Whisper · 2.5k words  ·  331  4 · 3k views

If you don't mind shipping (this one is TwiDash), these ones are short and cute:

ERainbows have nothing to hide
Twilight watches the sun set. A music box plays in the background, but she ignores it.
Silent Whisper · 1.2k words  ·  102  5 · 1.8k views
ENo Need to Say Goodbye
A train makes its way out of the Manehattan station, taking with it Twilight's unspoken thoughts towards one particular pony.
Silent Whisper · 1k words  ·  66  2 · 1.1k views
EChase the Wind and Touch the Sky
Rainbow watches the sun set. An alicorn watches her, and Rainbow dreams of the day when she'll join her in her evening flight.
Silent Whisper · 1k words  ·  52  2 · 1.1k views

This one is just kind of random:

EWrong Number
It sucks being a phone operator at a rift in time and space, but somepony has to do it.
Silent Whisper · 1.5k words  ·  41  2 · 817 views

And these ones are older stories (and aren't written quite as well as my newer ones, sorry), but they're a bit darker if you like that:

TSelfless
Twilight has a choice to make. Will logic win the day?
Silent Whisper · 2.8k words  ·  14  0 · 305 views
TAnything for an Answer
Not all coping methods are healthy.
Silent Whisper · 3.4k words  ·  59  0 · 1.3k views

And this one is a sad one, but still cute. The sads only kind of make sense at the end.

EEvery Day is Sun-Day
Some things can't wait forever to be said. Pinkie Pie knows this, but it doesn't make it any easier to admit her feelings.
Silent Whisper · 2.5k words  ·  83  4 · 1.2k views

This, um... This sure is a story that exists. I can't deny that.

But seriously, that was silly. Seriously silly.

This story's review is posted on the Reviewers Cafe, here

I was about to say "Discord would have loved it!", but then he cackled in the distance...

Reality is an illusion :derpyderp1:! This does very much remind me of my own stuff :rainbowlaugh:! Oh, the sheer randomness :pinkiehappy:!.. Where was Pinkie Pie, by the way? She's got to have seen it!

...I think, I love it :rainbowkiss:!..

A strange man with rather more heads and arms than is usual (at least in the less exceptionally cool parts of the universe) floats past trailing a confused man in a dressing gown and a clinically depressed robot.

“See, babies? This is why when a frood as hoopy as yours truly tells you to stay on the bridge while the Infinite Improbability thingamajig is running you shouldn’t go off looking for hot beverages. It would make your lives just so much less completely uncool.”

“Life. Don’t talk to me about life.”

9527903
Considering Douglas Adams was my inspiration for the writing style of this story, I consider this high praise! Thank you, hoopy frood~

Exquisite madness, exactly the sort of thing I love to see come from a Twilight-Discord collaboration. Thank you for an improbably entertaining read.

Also, no one tell Sunset Shimmer about that bacon-hoof thing.

Hey! This was reviewed here! Thanks for picking me as a reviewer, and I hope what I had to say is helpful. Deuces!

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