• Published 25th Nov 2018
  • 6,699 Views, 123 Comments

For It Is My Duty - Summer Dust



The Champion of Ash has Linked the Fire, and has been taken to Equestria.

  • ...
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Chapter 1 - Are you Afraid of the Dark?

"Ugh, this thing stinks!" One of the guards who helped levitate the unconscious creature commented as they descended into Canterlot Dungeon.

Together, there were four ponies; two unicorns, and two pegasi, one male and one female each. The unicorns flanked the creature while carrying it and carefully walked down the steps into the lower levels of the dungeon. The pegasi walked slightly behind them, having been assigned to aid in escorting the prisoner if it woke up and became violent, or in the case of the creature overpowering the group, to flee and call for backup.

"You're telling me, it's like this thing never bathes." The male pegasi responded, covering his nose with a wing.

The dungeon itself was divided into three levels. The first was for petty criminals, thieves, and peddlers who scammed and extorted other ponies by tricking them. The second layer was for more brutish types, ones who would attack others and damage their property or kidnap ponies and hold them for ransom. The most secure and isolated level of the dungeon was located deep inside the mountain, close to the caverns that lay far beneath the city. This third layer was reserved for embezzlers, anarchists, and anyone else who would attempt to destabilize or overthrow the Princesses outside of official channels.

The first two levels of the dungeon were well lit by torches and each cell came with a cot and chamber pot. Sentences that landed ponies in the first two layers varied in length in accordance to the severity of the crime; while stealing an apple from the shopping district might net you one day in a cell of the first level, getting into a scrap with the intent to do harm to another pony could last up to thirty days in the second level, depending on how badly the other pony was hurt.

The shortest sentence that could be served in the third layer was one year, and this was for the lightest of offenses such as fraud or thefts from the castle treasury. Anarchists and other chaotic offenders usually spent anywhere from two to ten years in a cold dark cell, but thankfully the ponies who were crazy or stupid enough to even attempt things like kidnapping one of the princesses or other nobles were few and far between. The criminals that did the unthinkable or unspeakably horrible things to other ponies were sent to Tartarus and were usually never seen or heard from again.

This wasn't to say that anypony who was simply accused of a crime were thrown in jail. In most cases, the accused were innocent until proven guilty, and were given a fair trial and offered legal representation. In the case of minor crimes like food theft, ponies also had the option of simply returning the stolen goods and apologizing, usually only getting a slap on the wrist from the party that had been stolen from or a guard who happened to catch them in the act.

"Well, we're here. Let's lock it up and get out of here, I don't want to stay any longer than we have to." The female unicorn said with a slight shudder.

Each level of Canterlot Dungeon was secured with a heavy thick wooden gate made of strong oak wood that had been magically reinforced to be both more physically resilient and resistant to most magic. Dragon fire was likely the only source that would burn the wood, while ice formed from the presence of a Wendigo was the only cold that could make the hinges brittle enough to shatter.

Today the first floor was empty. Only the sounds of hoof against stone echoed through the quiet area making it almost serene, not unlike a library. The infrequency of inmates coming and going from this level of the dungeon was something that most guards were proud of.

The second level, however, was something that each guard who had to haul troublemakers and vandals into their cells dreaded. Some of them were more violent than others, continuing to fight when ordered to cease, and this usually meant the guards had to defend themselves. Nopony amongst the guard enjoyed getting rough when it came to dealing with disorderly ponies, instead preferring to rely only on the authority of their voice. There were a few stories passed around during the training with some of the more seasoned guards where jumping in the middle of a fight to break it up got them dangerously hurt. Having to carry a strange creature past a few already occupied cells with scowling prisoners did nothing to set this group at ease.

The four ponies had made their way to the furthest point of the second level, close to the door leading to the third. Each cell door was made of strong iron bars that fit the frame from floor to ceiling, with bars running across to hold the door in place. Each door swung open on hinges made of the same metal and had large square locks on one side to secure prisoners. The bottom of each cell door also had a small slot where guards could slide in plates or bowls of food and water. After placing the creature inside and locking the door to the cell, they were greeted with a light breeze of cold air. Each of the guard ponies turned their heads toward the gate to the third floor where the breeze had come from with wide eyes.

"Go make sure that gate is secure." The female unicorn said to the male, with a hint of fright in her voice.

"Why do I have to? I don't-" The male started to respond, his voice equally shaky before the other unicorn gave him a stern look.

He trotted over quickly and looked the gate over top to bottom and side to side, making sure everything was in place. There was no damage to the wood, bar, or hinges, and there were no cracks or spaces for even a light breeze to have come from. Deciding that it was nothing to worry about, the unicorn turned back and shook his head.

"All clear, the gate is secure on all sides." He said confidently. Each of his fellow guards breathed a sigh of relief and turned back toward the entrance of the dungeon making for the stairs as quickly as they could without running. Each of them was just as eager to get out of this place as the other.


"I can't thank you enough for coming to help with the sanctuary today, Twilight. I'm usually so on top of my chores, I don't know what I would have done without you." The lovely yellow pegasus said after delivering the last few carrots to the herbivores.

"Not a problem, Fluttershy. You know I'm willing to lend a hoof whenever I'm not busy." The smiling purple alicorn responded, straightening out her mane again. She'd had a somewhat close encounter with one of the carnivores; an over-excited wolf had decided to express his thanks for his food by bathing her in kisses. Part of her mane kept sticking out, even after rinsing her face with water.

"Really, I'm not sure how I managed to get so unorganized. I even have my own list of chores so I can do them in order." The pegasus put a hoof to her chin with a confused expression.

"We all make mistakes. What's important is that we managed to get back on track and finish up on time."

"You're right. Now that everyone else is fed, it's time to-" Fluttershy had begun turning towards the basket she had prepared for their late lunch but stopped and let out a sharp eep! as a certain Draconequis appeared in front of her with a snap.

Discord was just as shocked, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry Fluttershy, I didn't mean to startle you like that!" holding his claws up in a non-threatening gesture.

The pegasus breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, it's just you, Discord. It's alright, I'm okay." She gave him a reassuring smile. "What brings you by today? We were just about to have lunch."

Discord's head swiveled like an owl and took a peek down at the basket, smiling and stroking his goatee with a claw, "Well, now that you mention it, I am feeling a bit peckish." before shaking his head and looking back at the ponies in front of him. "Never mind that. Fluttershy, you're needed in Canterlot, Celestia wants you and- Oh, hello Twilight." He stopped and gave a friendly wave. "Celestia wants to talk to you both as soon as possible. We should get going right now." Every time he opened his mouth, his expression changed from concerned to friendly and back again.

"Why didn't she just send us a letter through Spike? Is everything okay?" Twilight said, unable to keep the worry from her voice.

"I'm a lot faster than dragon fire. Are you ready to go?" He rolled his eyes impatiently. Both ponies nodded and with a snap of Discord's fingers, all three of them (and the basket) were gone.


The next thing they knew, Discord, Fluttershy, and Twilight all stood in the royal throne room. The spacious area was largely vacant, save for the Princesses of Sun and Moon and a large pile of ash on the red carpet that led from the entryway to the regal thrones at the other end of the room. Luna greeted the new arrivals with a smile, a steaming mug floating in her magic field next to her while Celestia came to a pause in her pacing once she'd heard the familiar snap she had been anxiously waiting for and likewise looked up to the trio.

"Thank goodness you're here." The regal Sun princess spoke, looking visibly relieved.

"Celestia, what's going on? Are you alright?" Twilight galloped past the pile of ash and sidled up to her former mentor.

"I am fine, Twilight. I'm sorry I didn't have time to explain sooner, everything happened so fast, I didn't have time to draft a letter before Discord left to retrieve you two." She smiled down at the smaller alicorn and nuzzled her fondly.

The yellow pegasus had approached at a slower pace and bowed to the princesses with her wings spread to either side. "Hello Princess Luna, Princess Celestia."

Luna nodded to Fluttershy, motioning for her to rise. "No need to be so formal, Fluttershy. Just our names will suffice." Luna rose as well, stepping down from the throne and standing next to her sister. "We are glad you are here."

Twilight took a step back to give them all enough space while remaining face to face. "Why are we here exactly? All we know is that it was urgent." She said, curiously. Fluttershy nodded, having wondered the same thing.

"Allow me to explain," Celestia began. "The day began like any other, raising the sun in the morning before opening court for the day. Ponies came and went, speaking their peace and making their claims as they always do, when something unusual happened. Philomena flew in for a visit but she looked like she was having difficulty flying. She landed on the floor while screeching in pain, and scratched at Discord and I when we attempted to help. Then, she burst into flame, like when she undergoes her molt, every so often. However, unlike her previous molts, she left behind only a pile of ash and did not reform." She looked up from the pair in front of her at the pile they had walked past with a grim light in her eyes. "I fear I may never see her again... However, as much as I love my friend and am worried about her well being, there is more pressing news. In her place appeared a creature unlike any I have encountered before. It did not seem immediately hostile, though it startled me before I could learn more about it. It seemed incredibly malnourished as well, no more than skin and bones, and it wore strange clothing. I would like for you both to assist Luna and I in identifying this creature and determining if it is a threat to Equestria."

The smaller ponies looked to each other with as much worry and confusion as they had seen on the princess of the sun. "Philomena disappearing and a strange creature remaining in her place... What in Equestria could cause such a phenomenon?" Twilight wondered aloud.

"Oh my, this sounds serious... I hope Philomina is alright, wherever she is." The yellow pegasus responded. She tilted her head slowly while looking to Princess Luna. It was the middle of the day, shouldn't she still be resting? She noted the mug floating in front of her, and suddenly registered the warm scent wafting from it and gave an involuntary shudder; coffee. She gave the princess a small frown, "Are you going to be alright, Luna? Have you had enough rest?"

"There are times when the luxury of rest is something we cannot afford. Do not worry Fluttershy, I will be fine." The lunar princess gave a small bow of her head, "We should not wait any longer, let us make haste to the dungeon." speaking in a matter of fact tone.

"I'll take care of your pet, Celestia. No need to leave her on the floor." Discord offered, his voice making an attempt to be jovial despite the tension among the group. With a snap of his claws, the pile of ash was gone and in its place was an ornate looking urn modeled after a phoenix. Strangely, a bag was left in place of the pile, perhaps covered by the ash. "I wonder who this belongs to?" The Draconequis picked up the bag and inspected it. It was no bigger than a saddlebag and wasn't heavy, and looked to be made of a similar material.

"It likely belongs to the creature, since it was left in the place it appeared in." Twilight observed. "Let's take it with us, it might help us understand what kind of creature it is."

Celestia floated the phoenix urn over to the paired thrones and placed it between them, a small sigh escaping her. Luna lay her wing over her sister's withers in a small gesture of condolence. Even Discord looked just a little concerned for the princess of the sun. Fluttershy offered a bright smile. "I may not know how to help Philomena right now, but since we still have her ashes, the best thing we can do is wait and hope for the best. I'm sure she'll be okay, Princess Celestia."

A small smile crept over Celestia's lips, "Perhaps you are right, Fluttershy. Only time will tell..." but it faded just as quickly when she thought about the creature that took her pet's place. Wordlessly, the princess began walking toward the dungeon, while the other two princesses, pegasus, and Draconequis followed.


A short while later, the group of four ponies and Discord were standing in front of the cell containing what Fluttershy thought looked like a monkey. It was curled up in the corner of the cell, tucked behind the provided cot. It lacked a tail and the hair patterns of a monkey, but it shivered like an animal would when it was frightened. The group seemed to have gone unnoticed by it so far until Fluttershy gently cleared her throat.

"Um, hello there? Are you alright little one?" She tried. Curled up as it was, it looked a bit smaller than she or Twilight was. The shivering slowed to a stop and the creature peaked over the cot at the group. It didn't do anything immediately, only continued to stare at the ponies. "I know you must be scared, but we won't hurt you. Can you come a little closer so we can have look at you?" She put on her best Fluttershy charm and gave it a big warm smile, making sure to keep her voice soft.

The creature hesitated, curiously tilting his head before looking down and hiding his face and making a few unintelligible noises. Fluttershy tilted her head curiously, prompting Twilight to speak up. "What did it say, Fluttershy?" She made an effort to keep her voice as low as the pegasus' so she wouldn't spook the creature.

"I couldn't really understand it, but I think... Can you say that again, a little louder?" She said to Twilight before pausing and speaking to the creature again. A short moment later and the same noises could barely be heard from the thing. Fluttershy frowned, "Goodness, this must be what it's like trying to get me to speak up. Once more, please?" and tried again. This time, the same unintelligible noises were spoken at a volume that everypony could hear them. Whereas a look of confusion and curiosity spread across the alicorns' face, a look of realization passed over Fluttershy's.

"How about that time, did you understand what it said?" Discord asked with a strange look of unease.

"I... Wouldn't say that I understood him exactly, but I get the feeling he doesn't understand me either. It's strange, I don't think I've ever found an animal that I couldn't talk to before. But, I think we're both sort of communicating what we're trying to say, just in a broad sense." She thought for a moment. "I think that he thinks we'll react like Celestia did if we saw what he looks like up close." The pegasus thought out loud, putting a chin with a hoof.

"Him?" Twilight blinked, "You can tell that it's a boy?" Fluttershy nodded.

"One of the sounds, erm... he made was similar to an Olde Ponish word." Luna paused, frowning. "It means to be frightened," She stated.

Fluttershy shook her head, "You don't have to worry about us being scared," speaking to the creature again, "we've all seen things like Dragons, and Hydras, which are much scarier looking than you, I'm sure."

This made the creature look up again and stare at Fluttershy. There seemed to be some kind of nonverbal communication happening between them, and a moment later, it slowly turned its body to face the ponies at the entrance of the cell. He remained curled up, his legs tucked into his chest with his face hidden behind his knees. He spoke again at the same volume as before, the sounds still incomprehensible. To the alicorns, they sounded too foreign to be words. Stressed in different ways and some sounds held out longer than any word they had ever heard. Whatever he was trying to communicate didn't sound anything like words or language to them. The sounds did have a feeling to them, though. It was... Sad. Just a slight or vague sense of sadness could be heard in the sounds he made.

Fluttershy's ears perked. "Not scared, but ashamed. He's not scared of us looking at him, he just doesn't want to be seen." There was a slight perk of his head and an utterance of another sound.

Twilight groaned. "This is like the world's hardest game of charades! If none of us can understand each other, how are we ever going to make the slightest progress?"

Fluttershy hummed. There was no reaction from the creature when Twilight seemed frustrated. She frowned and groaned just as Twilight had done, "Yeah, how are we going to make any progress if none of us are able to understand each other?" mimicking her slightly frustrated tone as well.

The creature didn't react immediately but made an all too familiar noise; it sighed. Fluttershy paused and blinked. He didn't have the slightest clue of what the others were saying and didn't even show any ability to interpret their tone either. However, the moment she spoke to him, he was able to sort of understand what she was saying? "It's like... My ability to speak with animals is working on him, but something's getting in the way."

Celestia turned her head to look at the pegasus, "A barrier of some kind, perhaps?" she provided.

"Perhaps not, sister. Were it a barrier, it would be held in place with purpose. This seems an effect of happenstance. Speaking to each other through a window, our words muffled and misunderstood." Luna's horn and irises ignited in a soft glow, her magic enhanced sight scanning over what she could see of the creature. She could see no sound altering auras on him, or in the cell, and expressed as such.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, "Discord, why don't you take a look at him? Maybe you can see what's wrong, something we can't?"

The Draconequis in question winced, pausing mid-bite of a cucumber sandwich. "I was really hoping not to?" He shrugged with a sheepish smile.

The purple alicorn blinked in confusion, "Why not?" and asked with an upturned hoof.

Discord hummed and hawed for a moment while considering the sandwich in his paw, "I don't, erm, well, he's uhh... The thing is, I'm just, pssh, well you know..." stopping and starting several times but never committing to a single thought in an attempt to dodge the question.

Twilight, Luna, and Celestia were all far from convinced. "Discord, please. If you're able to help us..." Celestia trailed off, a strangely pleading look in her eyes.

Discord winced yet again, "Look, it's not that I don't want to help. There's nothing I wouldn't do to help Fluttershy." giving the pegasus a small smile, "But there's... Something about that guy that just makes my spines crawl." and turned to show the draconic fins along his neck frantically skittering up and down his body like spiders.

The two smaller ponies recoiled slightly from the sight, Twilight taking a step back in surprise. "Didn't need the visual, but thanks."

Fluttershy smiled warmly up at him. "It's okay to be scared of things you don't understand Discord."

He huffed in response. "Me? Scared?" He rolled his eyes. "Of something I don't understand? I don't need to understand things, they just happen when I tell them to. Who cares about how or why?" He looked down at Fluttershy and met her gaze for a few moments before sighing and returning her smile. "Alright. For you, Fluttershy."

The ponies stepped to either side and let the chaotic being take center stage. He tapped his chin with a claw and tilted his body to one side, squinting his eyes through the bars at the creature. He pulled back and righted himself, turning to Fluttershy and shrugging. "I can't see anything wrong with him."

The ponies frowned and deadpanned. It was Twilight's turn to huff. "Come on Discord, you didn't even try!"

"What? I looked at him, didn't I?" He stretched his eyes down to look Twilight in the face.

"Please, Discord. Just try? For me?" Fluttershy said patiently.

"Oh alright..." Discord said dejectedly like he was on the verge of whining. He took a breath and exhaled slowly. The creature peeked up from behind its knees. Their gazes locked with each other. The creature didn't react. Discord's face went pale. He tried to speak, but something was caught in his throat. "...What...!?" He managed to squeak.

Confusion spread across the faces of the ponies, Fluttershy seeming more concerned at the Draconequis' expression. "What is it, Discord? What can you see?" The pegasus tried but received no response.

Moments passed, agonizingly slow heartbeats of suspense as they watched Discord's eyes dart in different directions. He suddenly took a step back, recoiling like he had been struck, his eyes turning to pinpricks. He gasped like he'd breached the surface of a pool too deep to swim, as though he'd been drowning. Then, without warning, Discord let out an otherworldly shriek of absolute terror. He shot back, snaking his way between the bars of the cell opposite the creature and cowering in the opposite corner.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!"

Fluttershy had fallen over in fright, Discord's sudden outburst knocking her flat. Twilight was similarly low to the floor but had only ducked and covered her ears. Celestia and Luna's faces lit up with alarm. "What did you see?!" Luna demanded.

"S-Stay away! Don't let it close! Don't let it take me!" Discord frantically cried.

"Discord, what did you see? We need to know now." Celestia Insisted.

The Draconequis desperately continued gasping, like he couldn't get enough air. He was starting to hyperventilate. "I couldn't! Couldn't see! Nothing- There was NOTHING!" He shook with every word, physically vibrating to pieces. His eyes strained furiously in an attempt not to blink. "Dark! Way too dark! Totally completely absolutely DARK!" He began sputtering inane ramblings over and over about the dark, unconsciously reaching up and grabbing one of the torches from the wall and setting it on the ground next to him so the flame would illuminate the cell better.

Twilight and Fluttershy shared a worried look after a few moments, while the princesses wore mirrored grim expressions.

"I don't understand. Discord is nyctophobic?" Twilight guessed after getting back to her hooves.

Fluttershy slowly crawled over to Discord's cell, silently reaching for him through the bars to try and show him she was there. A disembodied claw inched its way over and held her hoof, despite still shaking violently.

"I do not think the solution is so simple Twilight Sparkle," Luna spoke in a low tone. She turned back to the cell with the creature, her eyes once again alight with magic. "Discord may be the avatar of chaos, but anyone who stares into the dark long enough may sometimes find it looking back." Her eyes narrowed on the creature, her magic attempting to emulate the effect Discord achieved at a lesser, safer level. It looked just as scared as Discord, curled into the tightest ball it could manage and shaking uncontrollably. After nearly thirty seconds of concentration, Luna let out a gasp of her own. "I can see magic inside of the creature, flowing through it like a unicorn. That is not all, however. I can see something I never thought I would find in any creature..." She paused and nearly grit her teeth. "A pit of darkness at his core." Letting out a slow breath, she looked to her sister. "Tia, this calls for caution, but we should not assume the worst immediately. We need more time to learn the creature's true nature."

Twilight turned to look at her former mentor and saw something she felt she had never seen on her face before. True anger. She had seen Celestia upset or annoyed with villains such as Chrysalis or Tirek. This was something much more intense. Something much more focussed. It wasn't the boiling rage she had experienced from either of the villains she had helped vanquish, but it was still something she never expected to see in the white mare's eyes.

Celestia sounded like she too spoke with nearly grit teeth, her usually calm and clear words having a very unusual heat and tightness to them, "Thank you for the reminder, sister. I will heed your advice for the time being. Please continue the investigation." and ended with a snort of her nostrils that Twilight swore she could see steam come from.

Luna turned to face the purple alicorn, "Twilight Sparkle, accompany me to the archives. I recall reading a scroll or book that describes a spell that may be useful for translating spoken languages. I may need assistance locating it." walking past her without waiting for a response.

Twilight looked between Celestia and Fluttershy for a moment before turning and following Luna. She wanted to help them. If she was going to help, this would be the best way. Discord would probably be okay after a while with Fluttershy consoling him. Celestia on the other hoof... Twilight wasn't sure what she could do to help her. She didn't understand why Celestia and Luna were angry. The thought of a deep dark pit was certainly scary, and a pit of darkness inside of somepony was definitely a cause for alarm in her mind. But why would it make somepony so angry? They knew something she didn't, no doubt about it. A checklist of questions began forming in her mind as she and the dark blue mare made their way above ground.

Author's Note:

A note about the prologue, I'm just gonna say that Celestia meant "Former Element Bearers" when she said she was going to consult with the Elements of Harmony. I had forgotten at the time that I wrote the prologue that all the other former bearers had equally important jobs and responsibilities in addition to being heroes.

...To whoever called the delayed update, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm not even gonna pretend that this is okay, but all I can say is that I'm gonna try and upload more frequently going forward.

Comments ( 46 )

Well Discord managed not to conjure dioxygen difluoride or summat to get a bit more light, that's something at least.

Say, what armor and weapons does this Ashen One use? For better visualization

9646027
This isn't dead yet! I won't be killed so easily.

9682593
I am happy to inform you, that we have arrived back at the bonfire.

9830331
It's certainly taken long enough. I hope you enjoy!

9959700
I'll assume that's something explosive or flammable!

9959711
Thank you for asking! I was going to detail all of his equipment in the next chapter, but I don't mind mentioning what Fashion he has now. In game he wore the Pyromancer Crown you can buy from Corynx(?), though he won't be wearing any head gear in the story, the Clandestine Coat from completing Orbek of Vinheim's quest line, the Drang Guantlets collected from the Cathedral of the Deep, and Leonhard's Trousers from killing Leonhard. Currently, all of the gear he was wearing, including his rings, are broken, so keep that in mind.

9959763

Dioxygen difluoride, or "FOOF" for short, is an unthinkably reactive substance that can and will oxidize(burn) nearly anything it comes in contact with.

Anything.

But I'll let an expert do the talking.

Dioxygen difluoride, O2F2, sometimes evocatively labeled according to its atomic arrangement FOOF, is first and foremost a vigorous oxidizer; in plain English, it starts roaring fires with almost anything it touches, even with things that simply will not burn in any other circumstances, like sand, concrete, brick, iron, copper, even asbestos and fiberglass. Both the oxygen and the fluorine are pretty highly electronegative (fluorine is the most electronegative element in the table, and oxygen's #2), and so they will readily react with anything even slightly more willing to donate an electron; carbon, silicon, metals, alkalis, most other gases, etc. When that happens, the high-energy bonds of this molecule (it can only be formed at 700*C, and that thermal energy remains "locked" in the structure of the molecule) are rearranged into structures that require less energy, and the excess energy is released. The resulting rapid, aggressive, highly exothermic reaction of dioxygen difluoride with just about any other material would not be described as anything less than an explosion.

9959798
Looks like I was right :pinkiegasp:
Honestly, he could have just pulled a string to turn a lightbulb on.

When in the show is this set? I need to know if I should finally get around to watching the last seasons before this gets too far.

I forgot this story existed.

Already Celestia is paralleling Gwyn's fear of the dark, though they are of different sources. A somewhat understandable reaction coming from Celestia, but still misplaced. Light without dark will simply burn everything to ashes, and I don't think Celestia has realized that yet.

Someone drives Discord von Q to pure terror?......... THIS GONNA BE GOOD

Forgot about this- something tells me that this guy will be the Pandora’s Box to Equestria.

9959885
This story takes place just before the last three episodes of Season 7.

9959972
In that case, welcome back! You're probably not the only one, and I can't blame you or any other reader.

9960142
Yes, exactly! I'm glad that I made that easy enough to interpret.

9960275
Not someone exactly...

9960312
Welcome back! It's a possibility, I suppose. Things will certainly be getting a little more chaotic with him around, but probably not in a good way.

Wow, I didn't think this would ever be updated! Please continue if you can!

9960694
I don't want to seem too ambitious, but I want to try and publish another chapter between Thanksgiving and Christmas. That'll be the next stretch before I get busy moving to a new place.

9960275
This is actually kind of funny. Of all the characters I'd have expected Discord to have a fragment of Humanity in him.

1st chapter, November 25, 2018.
2nd chapter, November 25, 2019.

So is this gonna be like a "Santa Clause only comes once a year" deal or what? :rainbowlaugh:

So does this mean he has the dark sigil, or does the champion of ash just have that darkness regardless?

9960966 There’s the possibility that the Ashen One could have both. I mean, it’s not DARK Souls without the Darksign.

9961001
Dark sigil and dark sign are different. The dark sigil was an optional brand that you could take if you wanted to unlock the option for the fourth ending.

9961011
True, but without it the Champion of Ash doesn't hollow. This implies that Ash is different from Undead and Hollows, though they may stem from humanity. Thus I think the sigil is what allows Ash to hollow and experience the same issues as the undead.

9961034
True. I’ve always wondered why the distinction between the characters in each game changed so much. Since it’s an ever repeated cycle throughout I have to imagine there would be different terminology used over the centuries, but it seems like the chosen in each case are fundamentally different in terms of how their undeath works.

Hmmmm, not sure about this to be honest. But at least the story updated.

Also, what is he at the moment? There seems to be implications that he’s quadrupedal, but also implications that he’s bipedal.

9960949
I can see how you might think that, but I'm going for something a little different.

9960950
I certainly hope not. I'm going to try and publish another chapter between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

9960966
9961001
9961011
9961034
9961098
YES! This is what I love, getting people talking! You guys have no idea how happy this makes me. Unfortunately for answers, you'll have to wait until the next chapter.

9961270
The Unkindled is still bipedal, and has not been changed from having Linked the Fire.

Glad to see another Dark Souls story coming back!

Can't help it but I must admit. I'm really and legitimacy happy to see this story coming back AND how is it going. Truly excited to see what next chapter has to offer us.

9961098
Probably because the cycle and the Undead themselves change as time goes on. The Undead in DS1 are probably the closest to true Undead that we see in the series, with all the other Undead being warped by time. One could argue that the reason the Chosen Undead in DS2 loses health after death is that the cycle has gone on for so long that even the Undead are deteriorating. As well, the thing that really sets the Champion of Ash apart from other iterations of the Chose One in this series is the nature of Unkindled Ash in the first place. Unkindled Ash comes about from an Undead trying and failing to link the First Flame, and thus burning to Ashes. They are then brought back via the Firelink Shrine bells, and don't hollow as they die (unless they take the dark sigil, which seems to be an extension of the dark sign, perhaps even a man-made one that would allow them to make even the gods Hollow).

9963188
Yes but what I was saying was I wonder what caused the change. Or for that matter how much time must have passed between each cycle to allow for such changes.

Comment posted by PonKing deleted Nov 28th, 2019

Curiouser and curiouser... then again I'm not so well versed in souls lore so there may be something I'm missing.
ah well. this story has my attention! i'd love to read more but y'know don't feel the need to rush another chapter if you decide to write more!

I have almost forgot about this story. So far it was really good but I hope I won't have to wait another year to see another chapter.

9961692
Glad to have you back!

9962519
You and me both. As for what's next, I'm hoping things will get a little more exciting.

9964205
I wouldn't rush a chapter and have it be even lower quality than what I'm writing now, as one might be and to tell by the calendar year it took me to publish the first chapter. I'm hoping to put out another one before Christmas, but we'll see.

9969508
I'm glad to have you back, and I'm definitely not going to take another year. Maybe a month or two if I let myself get distracted...

The whole first part describing the layout of the dungeon and the function of the Equestrian justice system feels extraneous. It's possible this is going to be important later but if so, the delivery would be much more natural if it were in the voice of the characters rather than the narrator.

This line broke me out of the flow a bit:

"This third layer was reserved for embezzlers, anarchists, and anyone else who would attempt to destabilize or overthrow the Princesses outside of official channels."

Example 1 (embezzlers) does not seem to match Example 2 and 3. Also, the "outside of official channels" made me curious if there are "official channels" to "destabilize or overthrow" the government. I should think not! I'd drop those last 4 words, and exchange "embezzlers" for "traitors".

10025533
As always I appreciate the feedback and will consider it moving forward.

10036575
Don't give up man. I just published the first chapter of my first story too. The beginning is the hardest. Hopefully the flow and writing style will grow on its own soon enough.

10095696
Thank you for the encouragement. I've had a lot of stuff going on lately, so I haven't had the chance to work on Chapter 2, but I know what I want to do with it. The first step is certainly the hardest.

10100888
I understand. Well if you ever wanna shoot some ideas at me feel free. I can always listen plus I am VERY good at world-building in particular.

10100994
Sure, that sounds like it could be helpful. Does this site have private messages? I'd rather chat over Discord, if possible.

Im glad to see that there is finally an update to this story!

10103588
Yeah! Keep a lookout in another month or so for Chapter 2.

I hate that the Prologue started with the Final Boss of Dark Souls 3 getting one shot, other then that I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Just read the First chapter, this is ether the Ashen one alone in which case a whole world has died due to the Ashen one abandoning his duty and is very ashamed and suicidal or the Amalgamation of unknown but an undoubtedly large number of Souls which have gone into the deepest darkest pits of their respective Cycles, who have Slain gods(even if weaken), Dragons, Foes that have legends inscribed to them and attacks literally anyone that gets near them or the flames out of the Shared dedication those Souls have of continuing the Cycle.... who is pathetically caged and coherent.... sigh. If it’s only the Ashen one, everythings dead, if it’s the Amalgamation he’s being characterized extremely wrong since when you go into the Flames and fucking link the flames you become part of that amalgamation or let the world die otherwise it wouldn’t make sense for there to make an Amalgamation at all. The Souls of Cinder shouldn’t be coherent or passive since it’s a collection of a shit load of Souls with one goal, defending and continuing the Cycle, like I’m still confused on why Discord is seeing Darkness instead of an Amalgamation of Dead Souls constantly burning in fire or a Soul that was horribly burnt as the UnKindle are people who tried and failed to link the flames. Ether way both of these possibilities shouldn’t be so passive to being jailed and dragged around, they’ve fought their way through whole regions, don’t need to eat, and slain foes much stronger then them. Also the Undead don’t get lethargic they are dead, making him weak makes Zero sense, incoherent due to teleport shenanigans understandable, but weak? Nah.

10353505
The scene I meant to portray in the prologue was just after the Ashen One had finished fighting the Soul of Cinder, but I hadn't intended for that to come across as the boss being defeated in one hit.

Interesting speculation on if the main character is actually the Soul of Cinder, I don't recall if anyone else has said that or not. I will say that if he were the Soul of Cinder or an Amalgamate part of it, Discord might have seen something else inside of the Ashen One.

Something else I'll point out is that different versions of the Ashen One exist simultaneously, so while one might be strong, faithful and outgoing, another might be a silent psychopath, and another is equally likely to be a soft spoken bookwork. I feel like it's a bit early to be judging this Ashen One to be weak, especially when we know he overcame every challenge Lordran had to offer. We'll have to wait and see how he turns out don't you think?

Awesome so far really can’t wait for next chapter

10573739
Thank you so much! I have set a few deadlines for myself this year, but I haven't been able to finish the latest chapter due to in-home conflicts. I'll try and publish the chapter before the 1st though!

Lets see what comes next

Fear not the Dark, Celestia. And let the feast begin.

10946219
Someday, I'd love to show you all.

11334446
One of these days I'll come back to this. I'll rekindle my bonfire once I can afford to focus on it.

11670261
I do have something in mind involving almost that exact phrase.

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