You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

Give Thanks

A pony visits a cemetery on Hearth's Warming Eve to celebrate the holiday in his own special way, visiting the resting place of his father and countless others every other year.

"Not everypony takes the time to relish in the fact that they're still here, let alone give thanks to those who put them here. You don't have to give thanks to just ponies you know, the smallest act of kindness goes a long way."

This was a short one shot I wrote for Thanksgiving, in a three hour timeframe.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 2 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 2
- Newest First
- Oldest First

TerribleTy27

TerribleTy27 #1 · Dec 29th, 2018 · 1 · ·

wow

First of all, your pacing and characterization is spot on. (Hella lot better then mine)

The major problem is some of the paragraph structure. Your grammar could also use some work.

"I'm here, dad. I've been here for about a week now, but the whole town has been so bustling busy that I had to wait for a good time to come and say hello." My muzzle formed a small smile as I looked down at the gravestone before me. My cloak cast a shadow over my face, and gave me just enough room to see what was in front of me.

Two major problems with this paragraph that summarize your stories problems.

"But the whole town has been so bustling busy"

Pretty obvious problem.

The

"I'm talking,"

Is right next to the normal wordings. It's better to space it out, generally speaking.