• Member Since 6th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen May 31st


Don't read my stuff if you have a weak stomach or are easily bothered by traumatic genitalia damage. That's seriously all I've got in here!

Comments ( 61 )

I know some bird who will Mango nuts for this story.

Flying right to my favorites.

THIS STORY IS SUPER NSFCW (not safe for crystal wishes).

This is... You managed to make me get weird looks in my office from trying to restrain from laughing so hard. Further, you managed to take a roast shot or two at me and I'll forever respect that.

This is Shangri la. This is the Apple of Eden. Jesus foresaw this story and still died for us. Absolute legend!

Future generations will look upon us with wonder...wonder if their ancestors ever though not if they could, but if they should...

RequiredReadingMaterialInGradeSchool/10, would smash through Jonestown dressed as Kool-aid Man to the tune of All Star , again

Where's the lamb sauce?!?!?!??!

That's fukin hilarious mate.

You've really griffon us... something, here. I guess you could say that you and Flam are birds of a feather when it comes to terrible story ideas.


Flam... I am glad you appreciate my terrible TERRIBLE sense of humor. It seems as though some others agree, heh. Happy to offer you this platter of insults, puns, and terrible visual images. :)

This got a cluck out of me, good job.

I can't believe you wrote that whole thing just to set up that horrifyingamazing pun at the end. Mad props, and I'm not even exactly sure what for, but well done.

Ah, you sick, beautiful bastard. It’s been too long since I took a moment to enjoy one of your works. I’d make an egg joke, but I’m pretty sure I already used them all several fics back. Erm, lemme think. . .

Well, I respect that he knows he’s not mature enough to feather a child, but something about this Anon still gets me down. Maybe his gin induced sense of talont rustles my feathers, or maybe it’s cause he’s such a shamelessly orni, over-eagle bastard. I hope this doesn’t end in a beak up, because I think he could do better nest time, and Gabby deserves a relationship that takes wing. I dunno. Maybe I’m just talking turkey.

As always, thanks for sharing this trainwreck. Much love!

Ugh, :facehoof: Good work you guys.


And here I thought that she was going to be equally weirded out that he didn't have a cloaca too. Dunno' why, but I did. I mean, she's gotta' be more "species worldly" than our poor human, who never had the advantage of growing up around multiple kinds of sapients.

So, the egg... Like, is it bad that I want to know her reasoning for that whole scene? Like... what was she thinking? Is that the normal way for gryphons to have sex?

Quite the hawkward situation.

Great fic as always!
I don't get that last pun though.

Gabby! Best bird, always love seeing her.

flawless victory.


pft, a real man wouldnt back down!

You gotta break some eggs to make an omelette!

At least she didn’t orgasm it out onto him. Is that a thing? “Nthnx, I like my eggs sunny side up, not scrambled.” Now I’m wondering if griffons eat their own eggs. I mean some women eat afterbirths and all sorts of weird shit, so why not ask if cat-birds have an equally horrifying tradition? Or maybe they save their first egg for their husband? Just remember to pickle it.

You're right, but it's still great!

And there you are, pencil, back in your element!

Well, there are actual recipes for placenta... :pinkiecrazy:

Please don't post them here... just send me the links later. ;)

I’ll be honest, this kind of flew over my head.

Your dick is diamonds and ready to bust down her innocence wall like the Kool-aid man into Jonestown.

Goddamn it Pencil, you always know how to ruffle my feathers, though I will admit some of these jokes flew right over my head, Honestly, it seems like you were winging most of these puns, which sorta makes coming up with a reply a little hawkward.

But toucan play at this game, isn't it a-parrot how good I am at comments? Sometimes I quack myself up with how good I am at these. I'd tell you more about it, but that'd be fowl play at this point.

I'm also not emused by the comments in this section, so owl take my leave.

What a hilariously horrible monstrosity this is.

Shit, I'll even admit it. I went google-imaged cloaca, but I absolutely and completely refuse to research bird mating to confirm the direct egg fucking thing.

I'd not mind the egg, but with the back half being feline, it'd be more likely more of a mammalian setup, while still doing eggs.

I rate this fic as “P” for purple.

In a good way... I think. :rainbowhuh:

I had something more clever to say, but I feghoot what it was.

There is a severe lack of prose which contain descriptions of avian coitus. I'm happy you remedied that.

I'm not sure what to think or do with this...

I figured she actually would’ve been cat from the waist down

A bird in the bed is worth two in the...

Anyways, I liked the story.

*confused and aroused screaming*


You gave me a strange urge to learn how to yodel...

I thought that was going to be Læffy instead of Frank.

What can you say? Magic's fucked up yo.

Those puns were so bad I hope you step on a lego
Seriously oh god why.

I feel so bad for the poor widdle birdy. Anon needs to go back in there and fuck her so hard she lays scrambled eggs!

Anon's just a lame duck. :facehoof:
You should've gone in and cooked her goose! :rainbowwild:

I feel like there needs to be a third option for rating. Thumbs up, thumbs down, and a question mark. I would definitely pick the question mark. I like this, and the ending entertains me, but I just do not understand how to feel about this.

10 out of fucking 10.
Should be part of any holy book.
Must be written down for future generations to read.
Odes must be written about this.

Still wish for more griffon action tho

>Do feathers count as public hair?

I ... am I missing a pun, or is that supposed to be pubic hair?

I'm confused about that as well. Does that tie in to the previous sentence about old men telling folks to get off their lawn... Which said lawn is in public view? Idk, probably a typo.


Naaah, that was my bad. Fixed it now.

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