• Member Since 1st Nov, 2018
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Pandaxxus


"You gave me the best of me. So you'll give you the best of you. You'll find it in your galaxy." -Magic Shop, BTS

Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to Shine


After moving away from Clousdale, Rainbow Dash has to face a new school, with new people. This really shouldn’t be a problem for the young girl, however, she doesn’t see herself making any friends.

She believes that she is the abesolute worst person on the face of the earth, and that she doesn’t deserve friendship. All she wants to do is be alone, no matter how much she hates it.

However, there are a few familiar faces in Canterlot Elementary that are willing to show Rainbow that she deserves to know what real friendship feels like, and that is exactly what they plan to do.

*was wondering why the story was gaining views so quickly...it was on the popular page!! Thank you!!*

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 12 )

This is so heartbreaking, what happened, and did Dash's mom have a few choice words with the teachers over the phone? Did Shy wind up bullied more now after helping to drive Dasha way, and did she come to regret her actions?

i'm glad Dash found real friends that stand by her.

Hoo boy. This was a sad one. But it was also a great one! I can imagine all of the pain Rainbow had gone through, especially when Fluttershy left her. Though, I am curious as to what this rumour was that caused Shy to leave her. Is it something that'll be revealed soon? If not, it won't get in the way with how much I've been enjoying this little Rainbow Arc, which is what I've been calling it. This arc has been honestly great so far. I've enjoyed every minute of it and cannot wait to see what's still to come.

9338645
I kind of figured that Dash waited until the problem was too big for her mom or teachers to do much help. It could have possibly gotten worse if the kids found out that her mom was involved. And I plan to give more of Shy’s story in the next one :raritywink:.

Thank you for reading!! :heart:

9338909
I figured she had choice words after they were moving. But can't wait for the next story. This is a touching story and i love it.
Shows a different side of Dash, when she was growing up.

9338728
I’m so happy that you’ve been enjoying the story, and The Rainbow Arc doesn’t sound like too bad of a name...maybe it would work?? And pretty much everything we need to know about Flutters is going to be revealed...I don’t plan to leave her out completely.

Thank you for such a nice comment!! I’ve been trying my best to improve and try to make each story better than the last. :heart:

The tone shift in this was pulled off fairly well. Your writing is evolving with the nature of the story in a natural way. I'm glad I can be a part of this story as it's getting written to see this process.
As far as constructive criticism, I can only offer a few nitpicky things. Some of the writing seems a bit off. Not a great deal, just a few places where I think the wrong words were used.
The big thing I noticed is that the flashback was slightly unstructured. I'm dealing with that in one of my stories currently. How to structure a series of memories can be daunting. Overall it flowed well, but lack of an idea of time passed made it feel a little jumbled. Not a deal breaker though. In fact if you had established it a little differently it might have actually enhanced the story. Maybe establishing as her literally having a panic attack as these memories play out and not as an aside for the audience.
Keep doing what your doing. And congrats on sixteen followers:twilightsmile:

9343821
Thank you for the comment! Dash’s flashback is the thing that stumped me the most, and the next story is going to include one as well. I’m going to try to pay attention to what I need in one a little more, and put way more planning into it so it isn’t as weird :twilightsmile:

9344514
Currently doing a sorry that is going to be almost all flash back, I feel ya. Just remember that weird can be good if done right

I liked this. Very much.

9526980
Yay! I'm glad! I'm hoping to work on the sequel to this throughout this week. Its been a while but I think I can do it!

You managed to make me tear up. I really felt this, because I have been through a Cloudsdale School like this as well, although I never got to change schools. You shouldn't feel bad about your stories, your writing is excellent and you describe the characters actions as much as they are in the movie scripts. :heart:

9628990
I've never really thought that others would be able to connect to Rainbow in this story when I wrote it but I'm glad that one of those people who were able to was you. I wanted to show that no one really should feel isolated because of who they are, because I feel like that on a daily basis. I've enjoyed your stories for a long time now, before I even made this account so I really appreciate this comment from you. Thank you so much :heart:

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