• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Midknight_Stardust


Weaver of stories of action, drama, love, sex and a loyal knight of the Sunset Empire! Hail to the phoenix empress! Sunlight & Sundagio are # 1

Sequels2

E

Bringing her pet cat home from the vet was always a hassle as Opal never liked visiting the vet and was always a cranky kitten after getting her check up.

So it was no surprise that when she gets teased by annoying woodland creatures that she would get lost in a tree and then refuse to come down as Rarity yelled out to her. What is a posh little girl to do? Never fear! Your friendly neighborhood cowgirl is here!

My first Rarijack Fic! Like, comment follow and enjoy! ^_^

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

Please, for the love of Kami, get a proofreader who has English as their first language.

9303310
Trust me if it were that simple? I would. Sadly? One man production here:raritydespair:

9303310
A little harsh there, mate.

9303317
Eh its all good, any feedback is good feedback and he ain't wrong lol I need a proofreader so damn bad its ridiculous how I manage without one xD

9303319
True that criticism should always be appreciated, but still, there are better ways to word it. Doesn’t hurt to at least be polite when pulling a Sugarcoat.

9303319
There is a Proofreader group on here as well. Let me get a link for you

9303319
Actually, there are two from the top of the list.

One

Two

9303361
thank you. Always appreciate when people give feedback like this and are willing to help me out. Gives me more motive to write.

Could use some editing but darn it its cute!

9303473
thanks and i am aware of the need of an editor i just couldn't wait to post this lol xD the idea was too fresh in my head and writers block has been TERRIBLE

Cute little story

OI!!!

YOU CAN'T CALL IT FRIENDSHIP IF YOU HAVE THEM ALL SMOOCHALOOCHIN' ON THE DANG COVER PICTURE!
...
Le Sigh, when will I get to read a story about people actually becoming friends instead of getting the crazy eyes for each other? No offense author, truely this comment is an arbitrary one, couldve been left on any one of the hundreds of A/R stories out their... I guess you could look at it like winning the lottery, except you get no money, someone has just yelled at you and they are proceeding to moan and gripe about a story they haven't even read yet without offering any objective criticisms... So more like a McDonald's sweepstakes.

9304233
No worries. Like I always say. Any feedback is good feedback. I wanted to try my hand at this ship but have it be a slow burn in a sense but also have some parallel to the romance between buttercup and bright Mac but try and put a different spin on it. This story is just the first of about 4 that I have planned. Thanks for the input!

9312294
There will be a sequel I just need a little time to form ideas

Just wanna thank everyone who has liked this story! Reached 40 likes. Currently drafting the sequel which will be a direct continuation of these events with a small few weeks time jump. This series is gonna be a slow burn romance so I hope you all are enjoying it

JackRipper
Moderator

"She was a Rarity."

Good ending line. The story was cute and had suitable cover art to go with it. I will give some criticism though:

Try not to let your sentences run on for too long. It can be very draining to read which can lead to people skimming over some stuff. Also,

A smaller, more honest soul

I'm guessing the chapter title is a reference from RWBY? If so, you got some good tastes.

9345822
Was wondering when someone would get that reference

Very cute story, thank you for writing.

9349958
Glad you enjoyed it. Working on new one shots for this couple

I see you have gotten comments about it needing some edits, and I'm not sure if you've done any yet. It does need some editing, but I to did think the criticism you got was a little harsh. This is a very cute story. Nice and self contained with a good feel over all. Your biggest problem I can see is run on sentences. I think you have the same problem I do. I know I start doing run-on's when I forget to watch myself and start writing like I speak. It's actually an easy problem to police, and I can give you a tip if you want.
Other then that, please fix the mistake in the description. I noticed you've been here a while, so you should know that that will make people lose faith in a story. And it's a good story, just needs some polish.
Noticed some other stuff while going through comments, but this one is getting long enough. I'll pm you if you do want more advice.

9376929
Comments and feedback are fine and yes I know I need editing done.

short and nice, very good!

Cute one-shot with some nice characterisation. Well done!
Keep up the good work!

:ajbemused::duck:

9425189
Thank you! New story posted that is kind of a sequel to this

Awww, that was cute. Good job! :ajsmug:

This was just plain adorable.

dawwwww.... this was cute. Super cute :rainbowkiss:

This maybe the cutest rarity ever written. It is a stark contrast to the last rarity fic i read which, although hilarious and well written, portrayed her as a nearly well manageing Sociopath lol. I have now witnedsed both ends of the spectrum.

9774294
Time and experience changes people lol

aw this was so cute

9774294
what story was that

9775101
Rarity's a sociopath and paper girl(its sequel) both by leeroy_gIBZ

Okay, everyone cover your ears. It's about to go down.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :heart:

That was so cute! I want to hug little Opal and Winona! :heart:

*recomposes myself*

Also, remind me to avoid that particular Canterlot park.

The squirrels there are pricks.

And I don't want to get sniped with a 50 caliber acorn. :twilightoops:

10661774
Squirrels in that parks be like

"You came to the wrong park kid"

10661967
Pretty much, I am keeping both myself, and O.C.s out of that one.

Yeesh, those squirrels are plain mean. :twilightoops:

I mean even AJ knew them as troublemakers.

I wonder if Fluttershy could straighten them out.

10662604
She does. Fluttershy is the reason they dont attack Rarity anymore lol

10662692
:yay: Nice, that's our little Fluttershy. :heart:

ITS SO DAMN CUTE NNNGGGHHH :pinkiehappy:

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