• Member Since 27th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Tranquil Serenity


I am a one-shot writer who loves Slice of Life tales and hearing from readers who enjoy my stories. Click on my blogs for an MLP poem.

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Source

Rarity sets about preparing for Fluttershy's arrival for afternoon tea. Abruptly however, a certain feline seems to think things would be better were she to be cared for by somepony else aside from Rarity. But just how will the fashionista react to the news?

Casual Reading by StraightToThePointStudio
Note: The reading misses a key line at 4:46 where Opal leaves the room, so it seems like Rarity and Pinkie are talking about her in front of her as if she weren't there. :twilightsheepish:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

Whenever I read fanfics that involves sad and horrible things happen to pets, it makes me sick and want to kick them in the nads; I am glad that there are good people like you who show much love of pets and how we appreciate them.

Opal was in Rarity's lap at the end? Where is Rarity's lap anyway? Does she like to do the Lyra sitting position?

9294964
She sits on logs when they go camping. She was doing the same thing here, except she was on the edge of her bed.

We have a cat who just loves to be near everybody and shows his affection so much it can actually be annoying since he's always underfoot, sometimes literally.

He's quite old, almost 19.

Then there's our young one I saved 6 years ago when she was a badly-injured kitten. It's taken a while for her to come out of her shell from the trauma, but she's very good and the best-behaved we've ever had.

Then there's out white Persian... who's just kinda dumb from all the inbreeding.

9295192
Yep. Cats all have their own unique personalities. :twilightsmile:

She stepped up to the counter and glanced about, seeing nopony she tapped the service bell on the counter.

T.S., it seems this is fast becoming a tradition. But I can't unsee what I've happened to notice, haha! There's an overly conspicuous comma splice here; also, you've not punctuated the participle phrase 'seeing nopony' correctly. Try

She stepped up to the counter and glanced about. Seeing nopony, she tapped the service bell on the counter.

Rarity popped out of the room and walked over to a bureau a ways off. Opening the second drawer with her magic. She took hold of two of the white linen pieces within and closed the drawer, commencing to trot back to the dining room with the napkins in her magical grasp, a contented expression playing out on her face.

Here you have a participle phrase sitting on its own: 'Opening the second drawer with her magic.' That in itself isn't a problem; however, it falls between two sentences, and it's unclear to which it belongs. Is it

... and walked over to a bureau a ways off, opening the second drawer with her magic.

or

Opening the second drawer with her magic, she...

?

"I promise I wont get upset..."

You know what, haha.

OK! Those being over and done with, I can congratulate you on yet another engaging and entertaining little story! Look at this, you've got me reading everything of yours. And it's because, as I've said elsewhere, your writing style is so easy on the eye and mind! There should be a limit on how often I end up saying 'good job', but good job – again, haha!

9307902
Thank you! I'm so happy you enjoy my stories, and I am appreciative of the notes on what to fix. :raritywink:

Well, I wondered how Fluttershy got away with having tea with some pony without Discord. The real Opal was upstairs asleep on Rarity's bed the whole time wasn't she? :rainbowlaugh:

9314594
Haha! Oh my! :rainbowlaugh: That's a rather new interpretation of the story. :raritywink:

Beautiful! And I love Opal being cute and nice!

This is a nice tale. All characters seem on point. Even Opal.

There isn't much overdramatic drama here. It's kept simple. As it should be.

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