• Member Since 14th Nov, 2018
  • offline last seen Mar 28th, 2019

EcliptorCalrissian


E

One day, Firefly will be a stunt flyer of legend, with fans from all across the land coming to her shows, and Wind Whistler will be the greatest scientific mind in all of Dream Valley. But now, many years before the days of Tirek or Grogar, or of Megan and her siblings, a young mother comes home to find her little filly struggling with the greatest question of her life...

Actually a strictly G1 story, not an FIM crossover or anything to do with any series but the original; there just wasn't a tag for the different gens. (I hope it's allowed; nothing in the rules say it's not!) This is a oneshot with Wind Whistler and Firefly as the only characters.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Welcome to Fimfiction! :raritystarry: This was a cute little fic. No grammar issues, good pacing, nice characterization that comes through easily and clearly, and Wind Whistler is adorbs. <3

If I have a suggestion it's that maybe there could be more environment/location description, although this might just be my lack of G1 knowledge that prevents me from getting a clear picture in my head.

A few other nitpicks:

In truth, the blue-furred pegasus was far from the cloud layer high above

Firefly has a pink coat. I assume you meant "blue-maned". :)

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On Fimfiction you can use the [hr] tag, which makes a nice-looking horizontal break.

Also, randomly; may I suggest that you check out The Lunaverse? It's a long-running alternate-universe MLP series which I really enjoy, and your story put me in mind of it. I think you might like it. :)

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@hawthornbunny
D'oh! I'll have to go back and change that, about Firefly's mane, dunno how I missed that in editing. >_< Thanks.

As for the location, I don't think it's something that more G1 knowledge would help with. I just pictured a super generic riverbank down the path from a super generic house and didn't go into detail 'cause I thought it wasn't important. :p

A tiny suggestion to help this story out in addition to what hawthirnbunny already mentioned; add a cover art to this. If need be just a stock picture of Wind Whistler from the internet would work.

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