Halls of the Changeling King

by Nameless Narrator

6: Promises, promises, promises...

“-meaning that the new shipment from shaft 69 will be mostly for sale rather than our own use-”

I’m boooooored!

So, day one of MY rulership. Yes, my rulership, not Two’s. She had some valid points for me being in charge, but I think she just wants to be able to go away and do stuff whenever she decides to rather than have to sit here on the heavy stone chair resting on the dais, and listening to the neverending line of complaining, bearded, metal buckets while a large crowd is already sitting around, drinking their breakfast.

To be honest, all this needs are two overpowered dwarves vying for my affection and I’ll feel completely at home. Can I rename dwarves? I'll find a smart mare and call her One, and another mare who can chew rocks into gravel whom I'll name Eight.

The tavern where Two drank the previous dwarven king to death by flamethrower apparently serves as a temporary town hall. On the other hole, I’m not going to question the sanity of ponies who have lived underground their entire life and are armed to their lager-stained teeth.

And as such, due to dwarven traditions, I’m now disguised as the brown, fire-maned dwarf Two used to infiltrate Brauheim, dealing with what seems to be the daily flow of the city while Two in her disguise as Hammer, a dark chocolate, blond dwarven mare based on Crumble is sitting right under the dais, observing the proceedings, and grinning at my barely contained yawning.

Oh, and I’m not the king of dwarves, obviously since I'm using Two's old disguise, I’m their queen, because fate is apparently tired of kicking me in the nuts, and decided on a cunt punt. The supposedly ancient and surprisingly light traditional helmet I’m wearing fits either way.

“-the barricade sentries haven’t observed any attempts of the old queen’s loyalists to infiltrate our part of the city, although her own guards look ready for a scrap.”

Alright, I’m their second queen.

“You dw- everyone- everypony always looks ready for a full-scale war,” I wave my hoof dismissively, “Anyway, is there new information on the queen?” I do my best not to reveal that I have no idea who the speaking dwarf is talking about… or who he himself is for that respect. He looks military-ish, even for a dwarf. Granite, I think, is his name. It would help if I could see more of him than his orange beard, “What if she decides on a direct confrontation?”

Granite’s moment of hesitation tells me more than the dwarf. Things definitely aren’t as great as he’ll try to make them seem next.

“There are less of us, and they still have access to most of the foundry district, the castle, and majority of the infrastructure… and food,” he shakes his head, realizing he’s undermining the point he’s trying to make, “but we have the storehouses, vaults, and free access to the outlying mine shafts. We are better equipped, and we have enough supplies to last a long time.”

“Can we talk to her? I mean, her problem can’t be with me-”

“SHE IS BREAKING THE FABRIC OF DWARFDOM!” bellows a deep voice from the crowd, and a dwarf stands up from the table, pushing through the tavern with everyone hastily getting out of the way. Contrary to everyone else, he’s only wearing a steel-plated leather armor combined with a charcoal black cloak which dramatically billows behind him. The hood covering his entire head only adds to his villain-esque appearance. All he needs is a sun symbol painted somewhere on him, and we’re home completely.

That he seems important would be the understatement of the day. Note to self- no, note to Two - don’t punch in the face even if he’s too annoying, unless you can punch so hard the shockwave sends us back in time before the punch, in which case repeat as needed.

”Duly noted. I will ask Scream for some tips on a changeling time-travelling martial art. We can call it bug-shi-do.”

The dwarf’s stomping entrance loses a lot of its gravitas thanks to Scream’s loud yawn which the dwarves thankfully can’t hear.

“SHE CANNOT BE REASONED WITH, AND SHE MUST BE DESTROYED!” the dwarf booms. How can a voice so loud come from someone so small is a mystery. That dwarf must be eighty-five percent lungs.

“Volume a little to the left, please?” I rub my forehead, “I can hear you just fine, cloaky.”

The resounding gasp from everyone in the tavern shows I’ve just said something very very wrong. The dwarf withdraws his hood, revealing a bald head, but a mighty fine grey beard.

Oh, and a disgusted scowl. That’s never a good sign.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, DWARF?!”

I might reconsider the punching option, although I’d feel safer with a warrior by my side. No offence to Two.

”None taken,” she replies, ”I am aware of my weak points, and I’ll be working on them as soon as I have some time. All I ask for is a punching bag, preferably with that guy inside.”

”You’re an infiltrator, Two, not your mom.”

”I’ll infiltrate his skull with my hoof. Lateral diplomacy, I think I’ll call it.”

”Changing someone’s mind isn’t a synonym for lobotomy, Two.”

”Technically, it is...”

”Shush, or I’ll feed you to Scream!”

”Error four oh four, ovipositor to mouth resuscitation course not found,” the alicorn mumbles something I don’t understand, and judging by Two’s puzzled glance neither does she. In fact, Scream has been rather quiet today. Not that I'm complaining.

“I politely asked you to stop yelling,” my attempt at easing the tension clearly isn’t helping, “Seriously, half of the guys here must have a crazy hangover from yesterday, and I’m not in the best shape after all my dueling either,” I lie.

A quiet round of cheers and some mugs raised my way give me some courage, but the way everyone shuts up as soon as the black dwarf looks at the offenders saps it away immediately.

“WE ARE THE VOICE OF TRADITION, AND IN THESE TRYING TIMES IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER TO BE HEARD LOUD AND CLEAR!” he stomps the floor, “THE QUEEN IS TRYING TO ERASE WHAT MAKES US DWARVES, OUR CONNECTION WITH THE DEPTHS, THE PROPER SEPARATION OF MARES AND STALLIONS, AND SHE’S UNDERMINING OUR FAITH AND TRADITIONAL SOCIETY OUR ANCESTORS-”

Suddenly, something beeps quietly, making the dwarf stop and pull out a wand-like device from a belt around his chest. Huh, that’s actually a smart place for a tool belt, not the waist like I’ve seen ponies do all this time. Easier to reach, and with more space.

“Hmm… who ARE you anyway?” the dwarf’s quieter voice isn’t comforting at all with all the new open suspicion replacing previous fire and fury.

”What was the backstory again, Two?”

”You’re my cousin Brick. You live on the 162. avenue, which by my math should be the edge of the residential district, and you’re a miner. Speaking of the new guy, I saw how some mares scowled when he stood up. My guess is that the faith and tradition he’s talking about could be a topic we could use to our advantage.”

“Brick, miner and the best damn duelist in this city,” I challenge the weird dwarf, “If you want to know more, you’ll have to pry it from my cold, empty mug,” I grin. Now there’s something I’m willing to do. If there’s a dwarf I’d like to see explode, I’m looking at him.

“My cousin,” adds Hammer.

He points the device at her. It beeps again. I don’t think that’s a good thing.

“And you are…?”

“A-hem!” a female voice clears her throat, and the crowd of sitting and standing dwarves shuffles again, “That’s my daughter, dark priest!” Crumble’s reddish-brown mane pokes out, and she strides over to Two, “And she deserves a spanking for running off without telling me,” she smacks Hammer’s head softly, much to the mare’s pouting.

The cloaked dwarf flicks his wand to Crumble. It doesn’t beep. That really can’t be good.

“Ah, greetings, Hammer. And to you too, new queen,” Steelback’s voice comes from the door, “I come with an offer from the… other queen-”

“WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS, SURFACE DWELLER!” the dwarf cuts him off, “and this... ‘dwarf’ doesn’t seem to be who she presents herself to be.”

“Hey, Hammer’s IS my daughter!” Crumble scowls.

“She did save my from my predicament,” agrees Steelback, “Without her, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“QUIET! I AM DOING THIS FOR YOU,” he clicks a button on the wand pointed at me, and suddenly everything feels completely wrong. There’s no way to explain it, but in one moment, every molecule of my body wants to immediately revert to my changeling shape. It’s on such a deep and physical level, that I can’t control it for long, and feel myself giving in.

Time stops, and the familiar inky depths of the hive mind envelop me.

”What’s going on?” asks Two, standing next to me as I gasp for breath.

”I… I think whatever the dwarf is doing is forcing me to change back into myself. I can’t resist it at all. Good thinking, Two, pulling us here.”

The little changeling beams proudly.

”Asskissing time later,” Scream paces around us, ”Hmm, a good idea actually. Note to self - make boss bug and mini bug bang. Possibly king here could use Two as a living fleshlight.”

”Wh- I- huh-” Two’s face turns as red as her mane immediately, she catches my glance, and begins turning around in a circle as if chasing her tail.

”Don’t break my changelings, Scream,” I chide the alicorn. I’m far too used to these kinds of comments by now. One, I salute you, you were a great teacher.

”I think she’s having fun thinking about it,” Scream snorts, ”Anyway, I’m pretty sure that thing forcing you to change is a device with a crystal-based power source, since I can’t sense any magic from the dark priest himself. I’d like to see the device later if possible.”

”What does dark priest mean?”

”Trouble. I recall them being sort of overseers of tradition and ultimate arbiters of dwarven race. And they keep the real Silversmith secrets to themselves, so deposing them with raw power is next to impossible.”

”Ohhhh, it’s the clergy Steelback was talking about,” I put two and two together, and grin, ”Now I understand… traditions like mares able to only wear chainmail and dig in certain areas as Crumble said.”

”Umm,” Two raises her hoof, intently staring at the ground instead of me or Scream, ”I think there’s something happening with dwarven traditions and the real queen. The dark priest seemed really pissed off at her.”

”Those are all important observations for later,” I admit, ”but how do we prevent being revealed and chopped to bits right now?”

”I’ve got an idea, but it’s risky,” says Two, ”If anything goes wrong, I need you to not visibly help me no matter what.”

”I’m not gonna like it, am I?”

”Oh boss,” Two bares her fangs in a horrifying smile for someone so small, ”you’re gonna love it. And maybe as a reward...” her eyes flick to Scream who bursts out laughing.

We return from the safety of the hive mind into reality before I have to deal with a horny alicorn infecting ‘mini bug’ with more dirty ideas.

A reality in which Hammer pounces forward, and with a beautiful, love-fueled, uppercut punches the dark priest so hard he makes a backflip in the air. As if on accident, Hammer kicks the dropped transformation want towards the dais with her hind leg.

Petrified silence spreads through the entire tavern. What happened to no punching?

”I may have forgotten that the dwarves have always respected their clergy to death despite disagreements. Two probably just committed high treason of sorts. They’ll pile on her aaaany second now,” Scream shrugs, amused and sadistic smile on her full lips, ”Let’s see how you deal with that.”

”Watch me, alicorn,” replies Two, ”AND NEXT TIME SAY SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT SOONER!”

“YOU are the old order!” yells Hammer, stepping above the stunned dark priest with a growl, “The old order that doesn’t allow us to wear proper armor! The old order not letting us mine where we need! We mares can drink like stallions, and as you lie here under me, everypony can see we sure can FIGHT just like stallions!”

”Two, I’m certain this is why he was pissed off in the first place, and the other dwarves don’t look too happy either. Stallions, that is. Mares seem pretty eager to see how this goes. Ease up.”

“I don’t want to completely break the norms that have served us for ages,” Hammer corrects the course, “I don’t want to tear the fabric of society, but arbitrary rules don’t help anything!” she punches the air.

“YEAH!” yells Crumble in support. Thank hole for mothering instinct we changelings barely have, “If a mare can pass a deep core mining exam, then she can wear the plate armor as much as any stallion, and if a stallion doesn’t want to only mine, he should be allowed to pursue his moss-growing dreams too!”

Quiet cheers erupt between the recognizable ‘lightly’ armored mares and even few nodding full metal buckets, although those prove a little distorted due to the helmets.

“YOU DARE TOUCH-” the dark priest recovers enough to get kicked by Hammer again.

“Get,” Two calls upon the strength gained from the crowd’s admiration and, amusingly enough, growing arousal from some its members nearby, grabs the squirming dwarf by his barrel, stands up on her hind legs, and lobs him with so much strength that he shatters the thick wooden door of the tavern on the way, “OUT!”

Most of the dwarves are still frozen, clearly uncomfortable with everything.

“Until you are willing to talk about some sensible reform that doesn’t harm anypony,” adds Hammer as an afterthought. Saved, definitely, mhm, no problem for future me there.

I pity future me. I want to hug him, give him a pat him on the back, and then return to being present me, because future me is on fire.

Some dwarves get up and leave, but those are the minority. Breathless seconds pass as Hammer comes back to my side, hiding the transforming device in a pouch on her belt.

The dwarf giving me the report before the dark priest’s interruption clears his throat.

“Ahem… I’m not keen on such behavior towards the dark priests, but...” he leans to my ear, whispering, “how about allowing gold rims on the traditional steel armor?”

Tilting my head, I allow myself an internal smile.

”Two, you are a genius.”

”Trust me, I’m an infiltrator,” she replies, brimming with confidence, ”and the best lateral diplomat ever.”

I raise my voice just enough for the closest dwarves to catch my response.

“Gold, silver, or gem decorations anywhere on the armor. In moderation, of course.”

And here it comes - the whispers, the smiles…

...the nods.

And the dwarf adds, still in a hushed tone:

“Most of us want some change, but what the queen promised that caused the split was obviously false. We are good dwarves, we believe in the clergy, but they don’t see the benefits of progress, only the drawbacks. Outside influence like you might be just what we need. And if not...” he lets the end of the sentence hang in the air.

Outside influence? Uh oh.

“What do y-?”

With a smile at my frozen expression, he takes a step back.

“As per my report -” he continues, “There has been no military movement from the queen’s part of the city-”

And this is why I should leave infiltrating to infiltrators. In my defense, as I said, putting me in charge was Two’s idea.

We’re in goop, not deep goop yet, but we’re definitely treading slime and sinking.

***

Where do I even start?

The official business for day one is over, and my head is spinning already. What time it is I have no idea, but from the flow of the city around I’m pretty sure it has to be the equivalent of a pony evening. Anyway, after the briefing into which Granite added some subtle references to the queen’s history, further ensuring me that he does know that I’m not who I’m making myself be, some dwarf led me to what’s supposed to be a luxury suite on the second floor of the tavern - actually the only second floor I’ve seen within the rather flat dwarven city, where I was allowed to rest. Steelback and Crumble wanted to have a chat about something doubtlessly important, but I needed to think about events and about what to do next, so I asked everyone to leave me alone for a while, hopped on a sinfully comfortable bed, and closed my eyes.

So, things are like this:

Brauheim is currently undergoing a civil dispute between the dwarves loyal to the queen and those who stood with the now deceased king. The royal couple has ruled Brauheim for nearly a century. From what I understand, dwarves on average live about twice as long as surface ponies, and aren’t as fragile in their old age. However, over a year ago, the queen began to convene with younger dwarves, trying to get rid of some traditional values of the dwarf society - roles for mares and stallions, allowed armor, jobs… some of the things Crumble mentioned before and much more. The older and more traditional dwarves including the king didn’t like it, and openly fought the queen’s requests, believing she simply promised everyone what they wanted in order to gain followers and power for something other than the outwardly presented social progress. Granite did say, however, that a change was due, but the queen’s approach was too fast, impact too big, and she made powerful enemies in the dark priests who openly opposed her. The unthinkable happened, though, and the progressive dwarves banded together in much greater numbers than the traditionalists, and limited the clergy’s influence over their lives. The dark priests supposedly wanted to avoid bloodshed, so they helped the overwhelmed dwarven king against the queen’s dwarves by collapsing ancient hallways, thus splitting Brauheim in two - the queen’s part of the city, and the king’s. Two thirds now belong to the queen based in the ancient castle, and one third to the more traditional dwarves who followed the now exploded king with their seat of power being the largest tavern in Brauheim.

Unfortunately, as Granite so helpfully explained, my open defiance to the dark priests’ agenda means that the support they showed to the old king is likely to be gone, and if the queen gets to know it, and then decides to take the rest of the city by force, we’re pretty much screwed. By ‘we’, I mean Brauheim, because the civil war will be bloody. Now, the good thing is that I can still play it on both sides - even the more traditional dwarves want some change, which means I might be able to negotiate with the queen, and if I keep the social changes slow and covert, I might not piss off the clergy too much. There’s also the possibility of it being too late after Two’s stunt, but I’m pretty sure that if we were openly revealed as changelings, we’d be dodging fireballs all the way back to Las Pegasus anyway.

Not that I really should care about what happens to the dwarves, to be honest, it’s just… well… the way Two pouts whenever Crumble hugs her like her own dwarven daughter is too funny. Plus, the little bugger likes her, no matter how serious and changeling-y she tries to look. A military conflict would cause too much unnecessary pain on all sides.

I mean, the dwarves are my best source of information and food. That’s my official reason and I’m sticking to it. I’m not a weakling, I’m a king who knows what he’s doing and can lead his changelings-, well, changeling towards a better tomorrow.

And as long as I keep repeating it thousand times a day, I might believe it at some point.

I’m too soft to be a good ruler. I mean, not going full Chrysalis is a good thing, but a strong hoof is needed, and I don’t think I’ve got that.

”Stop sulking, boss bug!” Scream appears, smiling as usual, which is always a mixed bag, ”I’ve got a job for you, and I don’t have much time because I just came up with a fun way to screw with mini bug and I want to give it a shot before I forget.”

”Your lack of caring for our well-being astounds me. It shouldn’t, but it still does. Don’t worry, I’ll get used to it sooner or later.”

”I’ll make you swallow those words, among other things,” she nods to my traditional dwarven tool belt hanging from the bedside table, ”The anti-transformation device mini bug has with her made me think-”

”About how to use it as a dildo?” I can’t help taking a jab at the unhelpful alicorn.

”Pff… something this small? I could fit you inside me, and I don’t mean your equipment, I mean you,” she deflects it easily, ”Now shut up and listen, smartass. I think the device detects waves representing the hive link connection between changelings, and is sensitive enough to catch them even when you’re not talking. Why it is so specifically tuned to changelings… well, I’ve got my theory, but there’s no fun in telling you everything, right?”

I open one eye just to raise my eyebrow at her, then I sigh. I wish this wasn’t just a game to her, but it’s still a vast improvement over the hive rulers, no matter how often I have to remind myself that.

”Fine, you want to see us squirm, I get it. And it looks to me like the dwarves have some experience with changelings despite being hidden from other races. So what can you tell me?”

”I’ve been playing chess with chatterbug recently, and I think the blocking method I’m using based on what Wistful taught him to hide him from anyone could work against the detection function of the dark priest device,” she looks to the side, ”Yes, we’re talking about you- no, no I will not! Absolutely n-” Scream rolls her eyes, ”Chatterbug says ‘hi’,” she breathes out.

Seeing a vein throb on Scream’s forehead makes all this almost worth it.

”Hi, Three, I’m glad you’re alright. Wait, you taught him to play chess?”

Scream looks at the ceiling, whistling innocently.

”Well, at first he couldn’t grasp the concept of the movement, really, but now that I make the pieces from chocolate, he eats both his fallen and the ones he manages to get from me. Always a fun bloodbath, metaphorically, more a fudgebath. The hard part is to stop him from eating them before the game. What I mean to say here is that proper motivation is the most important thing.”

”And that relates to the dark priest device how?”

”Huh? Oh, nothing, I just lost a train of thought-”

Oh I bet you did, you manipulative jiggly ass. Just casually mentioning Three now, riiight.

”-Anyway, I think I can teach both you and Two how to hide your communication.”

”Won’t it block me from talking to Two?”

”No no no,” she answers, possibly even genuinely, ”It should hide you from any unlinked changelings and the device, that’s it. Now talk to mini bug while I try to put it in terms a changeling can understand.”

It’s like… it’s like creating an imaginary tunnel inside the hive mind. Something similar to what Three said about Wistful, that he showed him how to dig a hole where he could hide from the hive rulers. It’s not difficult, if I’m doing it right, that is.

”Hey, Two, Scream’s teaching me to hide myself from the detection device, and needs us to communicate. Can you hear me? Does it feel different?”

”Hmm… kinda, but I think I can imitate it easily,” I feel her reaching into the fresh information about the method of concealment within our hive mind, ”Speaking of which, tell big green eyes that I’m waiting for her in disguise.”

”I’ll be with you in a minute,” answers Scream, ”I just need to make boss bug here do what he doesn’t want to do.”

”I don’t have any problems with you teaching me to hide, Scream, really.”

”I didn’t mean that. What I mean is our little thing about a proper magical item, remember? You’re the king- I mean the queen of dwarves now, so get to searching.”

”I know it’s pointless to say I won’t do it until you tell me what’s it for, I just want my complaint on the record.”

Scream grins, and disappears, her voice echoing through the now empty suite:

”Let’s just say that the black king needs a pawn in addition to his bishop.”

My ears perk up as a surge of adrenaline brings me renewed purpose. I must find Granite. As I shoot out of the suite, Scream’s laughter follows me.

“Proper motivation, I get it.”

Thankfully, few questions around the bar later, someone is able to point me Granite’s way, and I recognize the dwarf’s rusty orange beard several streets away in a plaza which now serves as a makeshift market in our part of Brauheim haggling with another one over…

“Gold foil, really?” I tilt my head, “Starting on the social change a bit too early, Granite.”

“Aaahhh… ‘ queen Brick’,” the dwarf’s voice reassures me that I guessed this walking armor’s beard correctly, “to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I need a source of magic.”

“What?”

“A source of raw magic - charged crystal, magical artefact, anything-”

”Scream, how much magic do you need?”

”The more the better,” I hear the alicorn’s voice. She isn’t around, though, which makes me think she’s doing something elsewhere, and I’m just one of many things on her mind.

“-anything big,” I finish the sentence.

Granite rubs his beard.

“We don’t use magic as such, instead we rely on electricity produced by thermal generators deep near the magma streams. I noticed you know Rift ambassador Steelback. Maybe he’d be able to get you something magical.”

”Scream, how about electricity?”

”Nope. Ask him about Silversmith lantern.”

I want to push Scream for more details, but I’ll do it after Granite rats me out for not being a dwarf, and tries to kill me because what I’m asking for will be an ancient ancestral artefact sacred to the entire dwarven race.

Am I becoming too pessimistic? Nah.

“I heard about something called the Silversmith lantern. How about that, Granite?”

I must be getting used to dwarf expressions, because behind the slot of his helmet I see the the faintest twitch of muscles as the dwarf narrows his eyes.

“You know a lot for a random dwarf who got to power yesterday...” his tone turns dangerous. I need to tread lightly. Or… or I can show I trust him. He had a perfect chance to leave me hanging after the incident with the dark priest and he didn't, albeit it was for his own agenda.

I take a deep breath, and make the dangerous choice.

“I need a source of real magic. Electricity won’t work, I think. What for, I can’t tell you, but it’s personal. It has nothing to do with Brauheim or you dwarves, just me.”

“US dwarves,” Granite nods forwards, and sets a quick pace, “Speaking of which, you can be damn sure I’ll want something for this.”

“Yeah, I get it,” I nod, “As long as it doesn’t put me or my… friends in danger, I’ll pay my debt. You have my word, for what little it’s worth.”

“Heh heh. A true stallion’s worth is only determined by the weight of his word,” he lowers his voice, “and I’ll make you keep your promise both to me and to Brauheim, changeling.”

So he wasn’t bluffing. The dark priest’s device had to reveal something to someone as close to myself as Granite was at the time. Would it be stupid to hope that he was the only one to notice?

Yes, yes, it would. Better get ready for a Raid.

We enter what looks like a huge foundry, the floor of which is almost as expansive as the main tavern. Between anvils, bellows fuming into furnaces by the walls, and streams of molten steel, Granite leads me towards a metal lamp with hexagonal crystal covered in decorative carvings as its center set in the back wall.

“Here you go, an eternal lantern,” he chuckles, “If you need something bigger, you’ll have to ‘negotiate’ with the dark priests, by which I mean they won’t give you anything, and they won’t be fooled, just like the one back in the tavern wasn’t. We don’t really need these anymore, but they still are ancient and useful in the few rare cases of power outage.”

“We’ll have to talk about that, but now I need to...” I bite my lip as Granite clicks some buttons on the metal construction of the lamp, which releases the purple crystal, and he presents it to me.

”This was shockingly painless. What now, Scream?”

”The second part definitely won’t be. How are you on love?”

”Almost topped off thanks to Two feeding me after she won all the duels yesterday, and some from her stunt with the dark priest.”

”Nice, then we’ll see how much you can handle. We’ll need some safe place, and… some basic materials - wood, iron, some chitin.”

“Thanks, Granite. Say, can I get few iron ingots as well?”

“As the queen, easily,” he nods, “I’ll get you some helpers.”

About twenty minutes later, I’m back in my tavern room with six iron ingots, a gold one, small pouch of gems, and the magical crystal from the lantern. When it’s all safely set in the middle of the room on the floor, and the door is locked, Scream reappears.

”Now, doing this remotely will be an interesting experiment, certainly. Get ready,” her eyes flash green, and my mind is flooded with symbols, images, feelings, and calculations I don’t understand at all, ”You’re going to need all your concentration for this. I’m not kidding.”

”Two, I’m shutting down for now. Scream’s going to do something big.”

”Alright, boss. I’m in a different tavern in the storage district. Scream wants to do something here with me too. Good luck.”

”You too, Two,” I block my links, and focus on Scream’s stream of instructions, ”Two said you were supposed to be with her.”

The alicorn waves her hoof.

”I am, or I will be in a moment. I can do this ritual in my sleep. YOU can’t, so focus on yourself.”

Sounds legit.

Crushing a fragile topaz with my love-enhanced hoof, I begin drawing a circle on the floor with the yellow dust, oblivious to everything else, and hoping I understood what Scream hinted at correctly.

Comments

[Majk]

I think Bossbug was right, there is nothing pleasurable about Scream, just pure, screaming of frustration.
Fun to read about, but daaaayumn, meeting that in life would suck.

[Nameless Narrator]

9352810
If by some miracle you decide to read Imbalanced, you'll get to know that Scream is far from sane, and cares only about one single pony. In fact, she is actually personally invested in mass genocide.

And she's the good guy... eventually.

[Majk]

9352960
I can't, that story is depressing as hell, just not my cup of tea.

[vustrunreyth]

"The circle is complete... i call to thee! prince of darkness! Lord of the damned! Harbinger of destruction! Accept this virgin sacrifice of blood and bone! Come forth and bring about the end of all things!!"

*poof* "bzz bzz! I'm a fly!"

"...wait... you're not... *flips through the big black book of evil* damnit! Wrong one again! Maybe i should just stick to making monsters..."

[WARGAMES]

Shaft 69 realkly?
you can do funnier than that

[Nameless Narrator]

9353284
Yeah, I get it.
9353405
Close enough.
9353800
You'd think so, but no.

[vustrunreyth]

9353910
i think you have a very "healthy" sense of humor. just like mine!

dark, dirty, fakt up... take your pick!

[Nameless Narrator]

9362809
Oh, I love my sense of humor, don't get me wrong. Dark, twisted, nothing is off-limits, no SJW bullsh*t about there being things you don't joke about.

The problem is that I'm not managing to get any humor into the next chapters. It's all serious, politics, little bit of story, Two diplomatically punching things. I don't like that, but I don't see space where to add anything without it feeling artificial.

Maybe I should just take a break and write the next Legacy of Light chapter. You know, some horrible pain and depression for Christmas.

[JOEBLACK]

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*some thing does said ritual*

Mr. Black: *appears in bed asleep* "Zzzzzz.... Huh, what do you want?"

Scream: "I have summoned you Dark One to...."

Mr. Black: "Ok, gonna stop you there. Wrong endbringer. You want that laser spewing guy. I'm THE ENDBRINGER. I only do the thing after my brothers are done." *distracted muttering* "Dammit, this is the third time this month and it's only the 5th. Bloody cultists. I oughta kill them all but it's too much trouble."

[tsaukpaetra]

What would a golem ling even be like?